The Things Only You Know
by miseradreamer
Summary: Brittany has been living a lie since she started high school, but when Rachel learns her secret she proposes an exchange.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I've never actually written or read Brittberry before, but after listening to "My Cup" too many times at work, this idea formed in my head and I haven't been able to get it out. Next chapter will be up tomorrow. Rating is for future chapters. I hope you enjoy and like always please R&R.

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><p>"And here we are, the same bathroom I drop you off at everyday during your third period spare," Santana said to me as we stopped in front of the door to the girl's bathroom.<p>

"Thanks, San," I replied with a big grin, shifting my books to one arm as I used the other to give her a hug, "The school's so big and confuses me."

She smiled back at me as I pulled away and checked the screen of her phone, "Do you need me to wait and take you to the library?"

I had a free period, but Santana didn't and I knew she was about to be late for hers so I shook my head, "No, it's okay. If I get lost I'll just stay in one place until you find me when your class is finished."

She laughed at that remark, "Alright, Britt, just don't walk away with any strangers. I still don't understand why I have to take you to the far bathroom everyday."

I liked the bathroom at the far end of the second floor because no one used it. It was my only time during the school day when I could just relax and be myself and not have to worry about being who everyone thought I was. Most days I spent my entire free period in there.

"I heard someone say there's a beastus in the downstairs bathroom," I replied with mock fear.

Santana raised her eyebrow and shook her head, "I think you mean asbestos, Britts, and there isn't."

I just shrugged in response as she checked her phone again and began backing away, "Alright I gotta go. See you after class and remember, if a stranger asks you to help him find his lost puppy, shout 'no' and run until you find an adult."

"Okay, San," I replied, watching as she turned and began to sprint down the hallway. Being late for Mrs. Peterson's class was never a good idea, she had a habit of taking off her heels and throwing them at unsuspecting students.

I waited until she had disappeared around the corner of the hallway and sighed as I stepped into the girl's washroom. Pretending to be stupid was a lot of hard work. I know how that sounds, but it really is tiresome coming up with all the stupid remarks and putting up this show for everyone. It had been fun when school started and I was a little freshman. People always got a kick out of my snappy remarks and it was so easy to get away with anything because 'Stupid Brittany' doesn't know any better. But three years later and the joke was up. Now I just wished that there was one person in the world that I didn't have to act like an idiot around.

I listened for the familiar click as the door closed behind me, placed my books on the counter next to the sink and immediately began to sing 'The Pi Song' that I had made up when I was child. It was actually just reciting pi to a catchy tune that I had made. "Three-point-one-four-one-five-nine-two-six-five-three-five-eight-nine-"

A toilet flushed and I abruptly stopped singing, freezing in place and holding my breath until I could see who caught me. I had forgotten to check the stalls today. I hadn't needed to check them in so long, why was someone using this bathroom?

The stall door opened and Rachel appeared from behind it, a look of shock appearing on her face when she saw that it was me singing the song.

"Hey Rachel," I said with my bubbliest voice, trying to distract her from my blunder, and then added in a calmer voice, "I'm still more talented than you."

I thought maybe the remark would distract her enough to start a disagreement over who sang better, but she completely ignored it.

"What were you singing," she demanded as she washed her hands in the sink, eyeing me suspiciously through the mirror.

"I dunno," I shrugged, "Something I heard that nerd in Algebra singing. Kinda catchy, huh?"

"Yes," Rachel admitted and her eyes softened as she fixed her hair in the mirror, a clear tell that she had fallen for my lie, "You know, if you can remember that, you should put all your school subjects to song. I'm sure you'd excel in a lot more of your classes."

"Making songs is hard," I lied again, scrunching my nose to indicate my disapproval. I remembered how much fun it was to write 'My Cup' knowing full well about its sexual undertones and then watching everyone's faces as they listened in disbelief to the lyrics. Being 'Stupid Brittany' had its perks sometimes.

Rachel stopped playing with her hair and looked at me through the mirror again before glancing back at her reflection, "I could help you, if you'd like. Song writing is kind of my specialty."

I wanted to say 'no'. I wanted to tell her that if I wasn't purposely failing school I'd be doing better than she was. I wanted to at least tell her that cheerleaders don't hang out with dwarves, just to get her off my back, but her eyes were filled with so much emotion that I just couldn't let the sharp words out of my mouth. She was so filled with hope, begging for acceptance and popularity and I could see just how badly she craved the attention of the popular crowd. It was quite laughable how I achieved my status by faking stupidity and her unbelievable god given talent and drive were holding her back. It didn't make any sense. But then again it was high school and nothing ever made sense.

I realized she was still waiting for an answer as she lifted her head and feigned indifference, and I quickly switched back into stupid Brittany mode.

"Sorry, I forget what the question was. I was imagining what it would be like if a bunny and a frog had babies," I kept my voice steady as I watched my own reflection and released my ponytail from its elastic band. My hair fell down over my shoulders and I glanced over at her in the mirror.

Her eyes were on me, watching my hair fall, and her mouth had dropped open slightly. When she noticed my eyes on her she quickly turned back to her own reflection and the tips of her cheeks reddened, as if I had caught her doing something wrong.

I smirked internally, although I still hadn't figured Rachel out. I knew I thoroughly enjoyed playing for both teams, though I did tend to lean more towards girls than boys, but Rachel was a mystery. On the one hand, she chased boys like it was going out of style, and yet the looks that she gave the Cheerios when she thought no one was paying attention to her, looked a lot like lust. It was possible it was a look of longing, wishing to be popular, wishing to have that support system that the Cheerios provided, but I had my doubts. Something about the way she would lick her lips every time a Cheerio twirled or was hoisted into the air and something about the way she bit her lip when she was watching the Unholy Trio performing a number in Glee. Most importantly, something about the way her body tensed and her face turned a deep shade of red every time I surprised her with a hug during a group number, and maybe brushed my hand against her ass, accidentally.

Not to mention, why was she still a virgin when she acted so boy crazy, unless it was really all an act. She had made a big speech during her first meeting at celibacy club where she informed the boys about how girls wanted sex just as much as boys did, and yet every time a boy got near her she shot them down. It's like she changed into a completely different person since then and went from choreographing 'Push It' to becoming abstinent. I guess you can't really 'become' abstinent if you've never had sex in the first place, but her open view on sex had shifted since then anyway.

She had gotten two of the most popular guys at McKinley and the most popular boy at Carmel, although I'm still not entirely sure how, all in her bed and refused to sleep with any of them. What was she really waiting for? I get that not everyone is as open as I am to sex, but her sudden embrace of abstinence sounds more like a cover up to me.

"I said, I could help you put your school notes to song," Rachel repeated, her voice sounded sweet, but I could tell she was trying so hard to pretend she didn't care one way or the other.

"Thanks, Rachel, that's so sweet of you," I grinned at her, watching her smile widen and she seemed to glow with excitement. I combed my fingers through my hair and re-tied my ponytail back in place, apprehensive of the words to follow, but knew I had to say them, "I don't understand why everyone calls you a selfish glee-bitch behind your back."

Her smile faltered and her eyes saddened as her gaze dropped to the sink. I gave my ponytail one quick tug to tighten it and then threw my arms around her, pulling her against my body in a tight hug. Like always, I felt her body tense and she glued her arms to her sides.

I held on longer than a normal person would for two reasons; one, because her body actually felt pretty good against mine, and two, because I was Brittany and Brittany is too stupid to realize when a hug has gotten awkward. She never relaxed, her body stiff and her arms still stuck at her sides, but what caught me completely off guard, was the unmistakable feel of her pointer finger stretching out and lightly grazing my thigh twice before retreating and pretending she had never done it at all.

Rachel Berry was definitely an enigma.

I pulled back from the hug, purposely dragging my hands over her shoulders and letting them rest at the top of her chest with my finger tips on her collarbones, causing a slight tremor through her body, which I definitely felt.

"What was that for," she asked softly, her eyes nervously shifting between mine and the stalls behind me.

"For helping me out, silly. You're such a good friend, Rachel," my face was starting to hurt from all the smiling. I watched something in her eyes shift and I quickly understood my mistake.

"Friend," Rachel repeated the word as a question.

_Whoops_, that had slipped out way too easily, "Yeah, but my secret little hobbit friend, like the leprechaun that lives in my panty drawer."

She nodded and turned away, attempting to hide her disappointment, "Right, of course."

I gave her chest a little pat and then took a step away from her, reclaiming my space and picking up my books from the counter. I felt the need to give her something, like I always did after I insulted her. I wasn't built to be a mean person, but being a Cheerio I had to deal my fair share of insults. There was no rule, however, stating that I couldn't give them a compliment after I did. I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "Don't worry, I actually think hobbits are sexy."

There was that blush again, so deep and red I thought she might faint right there. I heard the bell ring and realized that I had just spent my entire free period talking to Rachel and hadn't gotten any alone time at all. I turned around and opened the door an inch before adding, "Give me a ride home after school and you can help me with my homework. My parents say I'm not allowed to learn to drive a car until I understand the difference between red and green."

I didn't wait for a response because it wasn't a question and I left the bathroom.

"Britt, did you spend your entire free period in the bathroom," Santana questioned, appearing beside me as I began to walk down the busy hall.

I shrugged and cast a dreamy look up at the ceiling, "I couldn't remember how to open the door."

"Britts, you pull," Santana replied, rolling her eyes but was still grinning anyway.

"Well I know that now."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews from Chapter 1 and I really hope Chapter 2 is up to everyone's expectations. Chapter 3 will either be up tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. As always please R&R :).

**A/N2:** If you're waiting for the next chapter of Summer Nights, I have been working on it, but it's going a little slow. I will try to have it up by the end of the week, but no promises.

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><p>When final period ended and I was making my way back to my locker to pick up my things, I found Rachel standing beside it. I had almost forgotten about our encounter earlier. I looked around, scanning the area for Santana, but it isn't until I didn't see her that I remembered she had left early for a doctor's appointment. I felt a little guilty about hiding Rachel, but I was not ready to tell Santana that I'd befriended her so that she'd tutor me in school. It was a conversation that would probably include a fair share of Spanish on Santana's end.<p>

"I thought I would just meet you at your locker, since I was not sure if you knew which car was mine in the parking lot. Well, actually I was going to wait for you outside the school, but then I wasn't sure which door you would be coming out of and I was afraid that if I waited at one of them you might come out the other one and then-," Rachel spoke quickly, all in one breath and I couldn't let her ramblings continue.

"You know where my locker is," I interrupted and looked at her like she was a stalker, "Half the time I don't know where my locker is."

"I guess I just have a good memory," Rachel said, biting her lip. She looked so nervous and it was making me nervous. All we were doing was going to my place where I was going to day dream while she 'tutored' me and she was acting like I was a movie star or something.

"That's creepy," I replied, putting the books I needed in my school bag and slung it over my shoulder as I closed my locker. "You didn't lose a puppy did you? Cause if you did, I might need to find an adult."

Rachel's mouth dropped open and her brow furrowed as she shook her head. I had to admit, I enjoyed teasing her, even if she didn't know it was teasing and I couldn't tell her.

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><p>The car ride was very awkward. I didn't know what to say to her so most of the drive was spent in silence as I watched out the window. It was weird having Rachel around and not hearing her. It was actually a little unsettling. A few times she had brought up random comments about glee or a movie that was coming to theatres or the weather, but they were mostly all one sentence conversations that didn't lead anywhere.<p>

I was thankful when she turned into the driveway to my house and we got out of the car. I began walking up the steps to the front entrance and realized Rachel wasn't following me. I turned around and found her staring up at my house with a bewildered look.

"You live here," she asked in amazement.

"I think so," I said with uncertainty in my voice and then turned my head to look at the number on the front gate, "Yeah, 127 that's me."

"What do your parents do," Rachel asked, as her eyes watched the fountain in the garden.

"My dad plays golf and my mom talks to her country club friends," I said, walking back to her and tugging her elbow to follow me.

She got the hint as she fell in behind me, "No I mean what do they do for a living? What is their occupation?"

"Oh, my mom is a crazy doctor and my dad is the president," I said, holding the front door open for her as we entered into the foyer.

"The president," she repeated and shook her head, "Of what?"

"I don't know, your questions are starting to hurt my head," I answered and it's true. I was starting to wish that uncomfortable silence was back and I didn't know how I was going to get through the next hour with her.

"Sorry," she said softly and I knew that I injured her feelings again. For such a loud and annoying girl, she was quite fragile.

I led the way up the stairs to my room and closed the door, leaning back against it as I watched her inspect my room until her eyes stopped on a card on my dresser.

_Shit_, I thought as I realized what that card was.

"I thought you said you didn't have your license," Rachel demanded, holding the card in front of my face.

"I don't," I replied cooly, not showing any emotion in my eyes as I looked passed the card at her skeptical face, "It's fake, so that I can get into clubs and buy wine coolers."

She brought the card back and looked it over, "It has your correct birthday on it, Brittany, indicating you are seventeen."

"That explains why it never works," I answered without missing a beat, nodding and beginning to stare off into space. I was good at being 'Stupid Brittany'. So many years of practice.

I could feel her eyes on me for a few more seconds I supposed she was trying to decide whether to believe me or not, but she finally tossed the card back on my dresser and took a seat on my bed.

"So what do you want to start with," Rachel asked, clapping her hands together and eyes shinning up at me from where she sat.

She looked so excited and anxious, I couldn't help but tease her again. I glanced upwards as if I was trying to recall something and then responded, "Santana and I usually start by kissing and then we take our clothes off."

Rachel bolted upright from the bed with a startled look on her face and choked, "What?"

"Come on, Rachel, everybody knows studying together is code for hooking up. That's what Santana told me," I said and I was dying inside. Her expression was priceless, a mixture of shock, horror and even a little intrigue all rolled into one and it took everything inside me not to burst out laughing.

"Brittany, I assure you," her voice was an entire octave higher than its usual pitch, "my intentions were completely honourable and was not suggesting anything of the sexual nature when I offered my services. My tutoring services that is."

"Oh," I sighed and faked disappointment, "Well then I guess we can start with chemistry. The table of periods confuses me."

The next half hour went by slowly. Rachel made up a song to help me memorize all the elements, which I've known since I was six, and I spent the time thinking about what I was going to eat for supper.

"Okay, let's try it one more time, but this time I want a little bit more emotion in it," Rachel instructed.

I couldn't sing the stupid song again and ever since I started singing, she seemed to be more focused on whether I was sharp or if I was putting enough emphasis on the right syllables, rather than if I was learning the material.

"This is boring," I said and yawned, pretending I didn't notice the slouch in her shoulders as her feelings were hurt yet again. I glanced over at my camera sitting on its tripod and suddenly had a great idea. "Hey, why don't you be my guest on Fondue For Two today?"

Her face brightened at the invitation, "Me? Why?"

"The topic of the day is Barbra Streisand and I need an expert's opinion," I lied, getting up from my bed and beginning to set up the fondue pot.

"Then you will have the most knowledgeable guest," she answered and her smile was huge as she fixed her hair in the mirror, "I know absolutely everything about her, from the-"

I stopped listening as I pulled the cheese and vegetables from the mini fridge and arranged everything onto the table in front of the couch. Then I made sure the camera was angled correctly and plugged into my computer to stream.

Rachel was still talking when everything was ready to go, but I interrupted her and said, "Save it for the show."

She was a little put off by the comment as she took her seat on the couch, but her smile only dropped slightly as she waited for me to take a seat beside her. I pressed the button on the remote to start the camera and then looked into it as I said, "Welcome to Fondue For Two. My guest today is Rachel Berry and the topic today is 'why hasn't Rachel had sex yet?' Rachel?"

"W-wait, what," Rachel stammered, looking at me in horror, "You told me the topic of the day was Barbra Streisand."

"I lied," I shrugged, picking up a piece of broccoli with the fondue skewer and dipping it into the hot cheese, "Now stop avoiding the question."

"Brittany, I'm not going to talk about this on your internet show," Rachel answered, stiffly.

"Fine," I said, swallowing the piece of broccoli and stabbing a piece of cauliflower, "Please describe what you think the babies of a bunny and a frog would be."

She gave me a confused look and said, "You know that it is not possible to mate inter species, right?"

"I don't understand anything you just said," I answered and then held out the piece of cauliflower dipped in cheese towards her, "Hot cheese?"

Rachel tried to push it away from me, but I kept my hand steadily pointing the vegetable towards her, "I don't eat cheese, I am vegan."

"There's no meat is cheese," I assured her.

"You do know where cheese comes from, right," she asked, her brow furrowed as if she couldn't believe my stupidity.

I watched as the cheese dripped from the piece of cauliflower and landed on the inside of Rachel's thigh and pointed towards it with my free hand, "Are you going to eat that?"

"No," she shouted, looking disgusted at the cheese that was slowly dripping down her thigh.

I shrugged and then leaned down towards her thigh, sticking my tongue out so that she knew I was about to lick it off her and when I was nearly there, she let out a startled squeak and jumped up from the couch so fast it even made me jump.

"This interview is over," she said abruptly and turned on her heel, grabbing her school bag from my bed and running out of my room.

I looked back at the camera and sat up calmly, placing the fork down on the plate of veggies and said, "I would like to thank my guest today, Rachel Berry, and my viewers for watching. Tune in next week when my guests will be Cuddles the bunny and Gumby the frog."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** As promised, here's the third chapter. I've got a pretty busy schedule this week, so I don't think I'll be able to post the next chapter until this weekend, but I will try to update before then. I hope this can tide you over in the meantime. I really appreciate the reviews I have gotten so far, I know Brittberry (or Pieberry) isn't that huge, but I'm very thankful for the positive response I have gotten!

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><p>It wasn't until after second period the next day when I saw Rachel again. She was walking down the hallway to her next class and I casually stepped in her path to stop.<p>

"Are you still tutoring me after school," I asked, not that I cared about the tutoring at all, but getting a ride home was nice.

Her eyes turned down, "Yes, but only if you promise not to embarrass me on your internet show again."

"No problem, that show got the lowest number of hits anyways. Even lower than when my guest was the mud from my backyard," I said. It was another lie of course. Everything was always a lie. That show had actually been one of the highest rated and I had a sneaking suspicion that it was only due to the fact that I had been dangerously close to licking the inside of Rachel's thigh. At the time I was just doing it to set Rachel off again, but after she left, the image of Rachel's tanned thighs wouldn't leave my mind.

I looked down to see what Rachel was wearing on her lower half today and surprise-surprise it was another short plaid skirt of the school girl variety. Lots of thigh on display.

"Well I'm glad it bombed," she replied, raising her chin as if it was evidence that she didn't care, "I do not want to be part of any show that attacks its guests in that way."

"Are you talking about me questioning you about sex or me trying to lick the cheese off your thigh," I asked in confusion, waving the pencil I was caring back and forth.

She blushed and turned her eyes away quickly before looking back at me, "Both."

She stormed away once again and I took a moment to watch her retreating form, before shaking off whatever the feeling I was getting and continued down the hallway.

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><p>When the day finally ended and I headed back to my locker, I found Santana standing at hers, which was three down from mine, and Rachel was no where in sight. I just prayed that Rachel had the good sense not to come up to me while Santana was there.<p>

"Hey San," I said opening my locker.

"Hey Britts," she said back, but she was quickly stuffing her books into her bag as if she was late for something, "I gotta run, my mom found condoms in my room and grounded me. If I'm not home right after school she's taking my phone."

"Condoms," I asked, seriously hoping that her and Karofsky weren't having sex, because then I would need to vomit.

She waved her hand and said, "They're from like over a year ago when Puck and I were screwing. If my mom only knew, huh?"

"Yeah," I replied, putting my books in my bag.

"See ya, Britt-Britt," Santana called, running down the hallway.

I closed my locker and turned to the other side of me and found Rachel standing there, inches away. I jumped back in surprise and said, "God, stalk much?"

Once I had calmed my startled heart, however, I instantly wanted to take the comment back when I looked Rachel over. It seemed Rachel had gotten slushied today. It was washed off her face, but there were still some strands of hair that were stuck together and her white shirt was almost entirely stained purple.

"I didn't realize that my back up clothing, for days such as this, were also slushie soiled," Rachel sighed, trying to unstick some pieces of hair. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to go home and change."

The thought of losing my ride home did not appeal to me so I replied, "You can just borrow one of my shirts when we get to my place."

"Really," she asked with a smile and a voice the sounded a little too excited.

"I guess," I sighed, it was just too easy to put a smile on her face. "I'm sure I can find something that'll fit a toddler."

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><p>The ride to my place was silent again, probably awkward too, but I didn't notice because I was too busy shooting glancing at her thighs. I watched the muscles in her leg contract as she pressed the gas pedal and it was quite mesmerizing. Her legs were so toned and long for such a small person.<p>

When we got back to my room, I went directly to my large walk in closet to find a shirt for her to change in to. I opened a drawer and found a white camisole that was too small for me and walked back into my room.

Rachel was crouched on the ground staring at the books on my book shelf, her fingers rolling over one in particular as she pulled it from the shelf. She heard me come back into the room and she looked up at me as she held the book up, "Brittany, do you know what this is?"

I sighed a heavy sigh. I really should have Rachel proofed my room before I let her come here. Santana never paid attention to anything in my room except me and usually the only times we were in here was to have sex, otherwise we spent most of our time by my pool. "A book?"

"It's Plato's Symposium," Rachel responded as she looked over the cover again.

"No it's not," I answered, "Play-Doh comes in a little yellow jar and tastes like salt and dishwasher detergent."

She was thrown off for a moment, but then replied, "Not Play-Doh, Plato. The famous philosopher."

"I don't know what that means," I said and god it was getting harder and harder to keep up the charade all the time around Rachel. I had no problems hiding myself in the past, but the second I pay Rachel some attention it she turned into Sherlock Holmes uncovering my life.

Rachel went to open the book and I suddenly remembered what was in that book. I leaped towards her, trying to take it from her hands, but she was somehow quicker than me and she twisted away and hurdled across my bed, rolling off it to the other side. I almost stopped to marvel in the James Bond move she had just pulled and I definitely would have if my social status didn't hang in the balance.

"It's my sister's book," I tried, because it was the only excuse that came into my mind. I jumped towards her again and managed to grab the back of her shirt as she turned away from me, but it was too late because she had already opened the book.

"Brittany, you wrote your name in the book," she said, flipping past the first page with my name clearly written in the corner and began to skip to the other pages. I tried to grab it again, with my other hand still holding on to the back of her shirt as I was kneeling on my bed, but she moved her arms so swiftly that I couldn't seem to catch her.

"My sister is also named Brittany," I said and I hardly even knew what I was saying anymore because my total focus was on getting the book away.

"I thought your sister's name is Kaylee," she stated and flipped through more pages. I yanked the back of her shirt hard and she fell backwards on top of me, making me fall back onto the bed as well, but the move caught her off guard and I was able to rip the book from her hands and throw it across the room, out of her reach.

"You wrote notes in the margins. 'Atlantis at Knossos seems implausible'," she said, but her tone made it sound like a question as she panted from the exertion. I was also trying to catch my breath after chasing her around the room. She was still lying on top of me, her back on my front, her head lying back on the bed beside mine with our cheeks almost touching and she wasn't making any indication that she was going to get off me any time soon.

"I saw a documentary about it on the Discovery Channel when 'Shark Week' ended," I said, hoping that she couldn't feel my heart beating so hard I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. I saw her head turn towards me out of the corner of my eye and felt her hot breath hitting my cheek. Her shoulder was resting just under my chin and all I could smell was grape slushie and if she didn't get off me soon I was going to do something that could be regrettable, "Hurry up and change your shirt, you smell like grape and it's making me want to eat you."

Her body tensed and she instantly rolled off me. I couldn't hold back the small laugh if I wanted to. She had been lying fully on top of me, our bodies touching almost entirely from head to toe and she had been completely relaxed, yet I mention I want to eat her and suddenly she was back to being stiff as a board again. Either way, it made her forget about the book, so I got up off the bed, picked up the camisole I had dropped on the floor when I went to attack her, and handed it to her.

"It should fit," I said as she took it from me, although I notice it looks quite a bit small when she held it up, "I last wore it when I was ten."

She didn't respond and I moved towards my bathroom and said, "I gotta pee," before closing the door behind me.

After I've finished and my hands are washed and clean, I knew that more than enough time had passed for her to change so I left the bathroom. I looked around the room, but could not see Rachel anywhere.

"Rachel," I called, hearing a small rustle come from my closet and I walked inside. She was standing inside, holding some clothes apart from the rack and gazing at the rows of trophies, ribbons and medals, hiding behind them.

I was so angry, because I knew that even if she did believe my Atlantis story and my driver's license story and my Pi song story and all of the other lies I had told, I couldn't explain this away. This was the proof, the undeniable proof that I was living a lie.

I wanted to yell and scream at her, but I was so afraid of what was going to happen now that I couldn't.

"Why do you always have to be so nosey, Rachel," my voice is soft, but sad and I can feel tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. I knew Rachel, everyone knew Rachel. She had the biggest mouth out of everybody. She couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it and would give up any little piece of gossip that she could if she thought it would somehow better her social status.

"I-I wasn't," Rachel stuttered, turning to face me, wearing the camisole that I gave her, which I can now see was far too small for her, "I was just looking for another shirt, because this one doesn't fit. I-I didn't mean to..."

Her voice drifted off as she turned back to the trophies, "1st Place National Spelling Bee Championship, Award for Academic Excellence, Gold Medal for the Ohio State Chess Championship... Brittany, what is all this?"

"I don't know," I whispered. I can't stop crying and I don't know what to say. I don't even know if I remember how the real Brittany Pierce talks.

"You won all of these," she asked, gently touching a ribbon.

"Yes," I answered simply.

"I don't understand," she said, turning back to face me. "I thought you were-"

"Stupid," I finished for her because I knew she didn't want to say the word. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew I had to tell her everything. "In elementary school, I was the biggest nerd. Bottom of the social food chain. I was far smarter than all the other kids and I got teased for it, really bad. It didn't help that when I was ten I got a sudden growth spurt and became the tall, gawky girl. The awards and competitions were nice, but what I really wanted was a friend. Just one person that I could talk to and hang out with. When my parents moved across town during the summer after junior high, it was like a blessing in disguise. I was going to be going to a new high school where none of the people knew who I was. It would be a fresh start."

"So you decided to be stupid," Rachel interrupted, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Not exactly," I said, "But I guess it ended up being that way. It's not like I came to school the first day and said 'Hey I think I'm going to be stupid for the next four years'. I thought maybe if I just kept my mouth shut I wouldn't say anything that would make me look like a nerd, but the first person I met was Santana and she thought my stupidity was cute. She had asked me if I knew where the bathroom was and was so lost and amazed that this beautiful girl was talking to me that I pointed to the janitor's closet and told her that was what I had been using. She laughed so hard and then I noticed that every time I said something stupid she thought it was cute. She convinced me to try out for the Cheerios and we've been best friends ever since. And I've been faking it ever since."

"But you're failing school, Brittany," Rachel said and I knew she was trying to understand, but just couldn't, "What about your future. You could've gotten into the top schools, like Harvard, now you'll be lucking if Ohio State accepts you."

"I know," I cried, it had just all gotten so out of control, "But you know Jamie McDugald?"

"The president of the chess club who carries a briefcase to school and insists on answering every question in Klingon," Rachel asked, shaking her head and I could tell she was trying to figure out where I was going with that.

"Yes her," I nodded, "I was her in elementary school, not the Klingon part, but everything else. Even you make fun of her, Rachel. I couldn't go through another four years of that. I thought you of all people would understand, do I really need to bring up 'Run Joey Run'?"

She gave me a hard look for a moment and then looked away, "I do, understand, but what pulls me through, is that we only have one more year of high school, then I will be off to Broadway where I will begin my sensational and successful career and die a Broadway legend. In a year, your popularity will be over and will be nothing but a good memory."

"I can't just suddenly come to school and be a genius," I explained, "I love my friends, I can't let them find out it was all a lie. They're never going to speak to me again."

She looked away again and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to formulate a plan. A smile played across her lips and I could practically see the light bulb turn on above her head as she said, "You can tell everyone that I'm tutoring you everyday and then let your grades get better gradually. Then people won't question it when your marks improve because you're being tutored."

"What's in it for you," I questioned, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

She looked at the ground bashfully before replying, "As you know, I have been extensively trained in ballet, tap and jazz forms of dance. However, when it comes to more modern types of dance, such as hip-hop, I am a little bit lacking. You're an amazing dancer, Brittany, I will admit that you are more skilled than I am, only in that respect, though. Since we no longer need to spend the time that I am here tutoring you, I was thinking that you would use it to teach me how to dance like you do."

That wasn't what I was expecting. It seemed too easy. "So you will keep my secret and pretend to be my tutor, while I teach you how to dance?"

"Yes," Rachel nodded.

"Deal," I answered without hesitation. The exchange was more than fair and a lot better than I imagined. If Rachel could actually keep my secret and give me an excuse for my grades to go up and all I had to do was teach her a few dance moves for an hour after school everyday, I was definitely getting the better end of the deal.

Maybe there would still be time to get into a good college. Maybe I wasn't going to follow in Terri Schuester's footsteps as assistant manager at Sheets N' Things.

"Thanks, Rachel," I smiled and gave a soft chuckle, still in disbelief that my knight in shinning armour to all the problems in my life was all of five foot two and believed the sole purpose of Glee club was to hand her solos, "I really never realized how nice of a person you can be."

I wrapped my arms around her slender shoulders and pulled her into a friendly hug. This time there was no accidental brushes of inappropriate places or any kind of sexual undertones to it, I was just so happy that everything might work out alright and I felt I needed to show her. Her body stiffened at the initial contact, but she relaxed and raised herself up on her toes to hug me closer to my level.

When I pulled away from her, I got my first real look at how my shirt fit her, since I had been distracted before. It was possible that I had been younger than ten when I last wore it. The shirt didn't even reach her navel and despite her small breasts, the material was still stretched tightly across them. The school girl skirt she was wearing today sat very low on her hips and between the low sitting skirt and short top, Rachel was showing a dangerous amount of tanned skin. I had heard about her rigorous morning exercise schedule, but the evidence was definitely in her toned abdomen.

"You should keep the shirt," I shrugged, falling back into my 'Stupid Brittany' monotone voice, "Looks good on you."

Her smile was anxious and her eyes quickly flashed away from me as she self consciously wrapped her arms around her stomach in an attempt to shield herself from view. Taking pity on her, I scanned through my closed, looking for a shirt I could give her that I wouldn't miss if she forgot to return it or got ruined by another slushie facial. I found a light pink baby doll shirt, that I hadn't worn in a couple years, near the back of my closed and pulled it off the hanger. I held it against her, eyeing the size and, satisfied, I bunched up the material and pushed it over her head, pulling it down around her body as she put her arms through the short sleeves. I spun her around with my hands on her shoulders and tied up the thin strings at the back to tighten the elastic under her breasts. When it was tied, I gave a nod at her appearance and said, "Perfect."

She looked down at it, flattening the flared bottom and smiled, "It's definitely my colour."

Her smile dropped suddenly and I glanced her over to see what the problem with the shirt could be, "What's wrong with it?"

"Oh no, nothing is wrong with the shirt, it's actually quite lovely," she assured me and her smile appeared again for only a moment before she continued, "It's just, nobody really knows the real Brittany Pierce."

Her brow knitted and her eyes looked sad and I realized just how great it could be knowing there was somebody there that I didn't have to hide from.

"That's not true," I shrugged and gave her a gentle smile, "You do."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Apparently I lied about not updating until the weekend... This is too fun to write. Again thanks for the reviews and please keep em coming and I promise to keep the chapters coming. I think this is the only long fanfic that I've written that I've plotted out a plan for, known exactly where it's going and how it's going to end ever since I started writing it. So I shouldn't have any major bouts of writer's block. Please enjoy :)

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><p>I was a few minutes early to math class the next day because my class before had let out early and as I sat in my seat, staring off into space, I was surprised to see Rachel slide into the seat next to me.<p>

"I am very excited about our lessons today after school," she said, leaning towards me with a huge grin.

I was about to tell her that she better choose a different seat before Santana got there, when Santana appeared beside her with a very angry look.

"What the hell," Santana said with a vicious tone, glaring at Rachel, "move dwarf, you're in my seat."

Rachel rolled her eyes while blowing a puff of air at her bangs and then looked towards me as if I was supposed to stand up for her to Santana. I felt a pang of guilt as I shrugged and glanced away from her, but I had thought she'd known that what we had outside of school was completely different from inside school. When I didn't stand up for her, she quickly grabbed her books off the desk and stormed away.

"That wasn't very nice, San," I said softly and hoped that Santana would not be able to see through the words I spoke. I was pretty sure I was still in 'character', but being so honest with Rachel the night before seemed to change me and I felt the old Brittany beginning to show through whether I liked it or not.

"It's just, Berry, Britt," she reasoned, "She doesn't have feelings."

I wanted to look back at Rachel and tell her with my eyes that I was sorry, but I couldn't find the courage with Santana sitting so close to me. I tried to focus my attention on the teacher when he began to speak, but the entire class the only thing I could think of was if Rachel was alright.

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><p>I followed Rachel out of the class after math ended, while Santana stayed behind to chat with another Cheerio and grabbed her wrist lightly as she hurried down the hall. She spun around with an annoyed look on her face and I glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention before I said, "I'm sorry for what Santana said and for not sticking up for you."<p>

Rachel's features softened as she leaned back against the locker behind her, "It's okay. I'm used to it."

My heart broke, the way she accepted it was appalling, "You shouldn't be used to it."

Rachel looked up at me and I knew she wasn't expecting me to say that as she dropped her head to hide her smile, "Thank you."

At that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and just hold her. The only problem with that was that I didn't want to hug her to tease her or give her a friendly hug. I had this strange ache in my body that was almost commanding me to hold her close and keep her against me forever.

I swallowed hard as I realized several long seconds had gone by while I had been staring at her intensely and she was staring back up at me. I found myself leaning down towards her, but I skipped past her lips and moved my own next to her ear.

"One day, Rachel, I promise all of this will be worth it," I whispered and quickly moved away from her, taking another look around the crowded hallway as I began to walk away.

I felt someone take my arm as I walked and found Santana beside me. She began to talk about something Cheerios related, but I wasn't listening as I dared a glance back at Rachel. She was still staring after me, but she was biting her lip hard and there was a tear rolling down her cheek. I smiled at her before turning my attention back to Santana.

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><p>Santana, Quinn and I had just taken our seats in the lunch room when Rachel, holding a tray of veggies, stepped towards the empty seat beside Quinn and asked, "Can I sit here?"<p>

"Beat it, Berry. The smell of your cologne makes me nauseous," Santana barked back and shooed her away.

Rachel frowned as she looked straight at me, begging me to do something. I wanted to, I really did. If it was up to me, I'd tell her of course she could sit there, but it wasn't.

Quinn surprised me by saying, "Oh, just let her sit there."

We all turned to Quinn in shock, even Rachel, as Santana said, "Have you lost your mind, Q?"

"If we don't let her, she's just going to give us that creepy stare for the rest of the day," Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes.

Thankful for Quinn's acceptance I said, "That look gives me nightmares. I have to check my closet before I can go to sleep to make sure she's not there."

Rachel looked a little hurt by the comment, but her expression changed when Santana said, "Fine, but keep your mouth shut."

She set her tray down on the table and made a motion that her lips were sealed, immediately dropping to the empty seat with a smile that could light up the entire country.

"Stacey Baker," Quinn said pointedly and Santana instantly shook her head and waved her hand.

"Something has got to be done about her," Santana groaned.

"She's acting like she's head cheerleader and her acrobatics have improved so much over the summer, she's become a threat to not just me, but the entire Unholy Trinity," Quinn said.

"I agree," Santana nodded, taking a bite of her tatter tot. "She's making us top cheerleaders look bad."

"At practice this morning, I saw Coach Sylvester pull her aside and she did not look like she was getting a Sylvester beat down," Quinn said, furiously.

"I saw that too," Santana exclaimed, pointing her tot at her, "She must be stopped."

I felt like this was the correct moment to add another 'Stupid Brittany' comment, so I interrupted dreamily, "She tastes like waffle syrup."

Everybody turned to gape at me, but Santana and Quinn's attention was quickly turned to Rachel, who began to cough and choke on the carrot she had been nibbling on.

"You got something to say, Man-Hands," Quinn demanded.

"If you can't handle our steamy topics, go sit at the kids table," Santana added.

Rachel waved her hand, indicating she was alright, but she continued her coughing fit so I said, "Do you need mouth to mouth? I don't know how to do it, but I'm willing to try."

Rachel's coughing ceased immediately and I heard a small, startled cry slip from her lips.

"That's gross," Santana said, disgustedly throwing her half eaten tot back onto her plate.

"I think I just lost my appetite," Quinn groaned, pushing her untouched plate away from herself.

Rachel was still staring at me and, seeing that Quinn and Santana were not focused on me, I winked at her.

She turned a dark shade of red and her eyes dropped to her plate of veggies, but I caught the little smile that tickled her lips before she hid it behind the hand she was resting her chin on.

Santana and Quinn moved on to a different subject, but I just couldn't tear my eyes away from Rachel. That is until Rachel looked back up at me while chewing her lip and it was my turn to quickly glance away with pink cheeks.

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><p>Spanish was my last class of the day and another class with Rachel, but one that Santana didn't take since she was already fluent. Somehow, I could feel Rachel behind me as I walked into the class and sat in my usual seat. I opened my books and pretended to be reading them as I could see, out of the corner of my eye, Rachel hesitate at the open seat next to me. She was about to walk away when I whispered, without taking my eyes off my books, "You can sit there, Rachel."<p>

When she didn't immediately sit down, I finally looked up at her and gave her an assuring nod, "Sit down."

She put her books down on the desk and nervous flattened her skirt beneath her before sitting down on the chair. I turned my attention back to my text book, but I could see Rachel stealing glances at me.

"What," I whispered and looked over at her.

She shook her head and turned her attention to Mr. Schue who had just walked in, "Nothing."

Mr. Schue greeted the class and began to start the lesson and I saw Rachel begin taking notes. A minute later however I felt something brush my thigh and I looked down to find Rachel tapping it with a folded up piece of paper. I took the paper from her fingers and carefully opened it, taking a quick glance at Mr. Schue before reading it.

_Do I embarrass you?  
><em>_Rachel Berry_

There was a gold star next to her signature and when I should've been finding it ridiculous, I found that I actually thought it was cute.

_No, but you need to understand that we're not friends at school. I like you, Rachel, but we hang with different crowds that don't mix well.  
><em>_B_

I pressed the note to her thigh with my index finger and let my middle finger brush against her skin, marvelling at how soft and smooth it was. I told myself it was because I wanted to tease her, but if I was being honest, I really just wanted to touch her.

She flinched as my nail scraped her thigh and instantly snatched the paper up. A few minutes went by before I felt the paper touch my thigh, but the paper wasn't the only thing that touched my thigh. All four of her fingers pressed the note to my leg, just below where my Cheerios skirt fell. I shot a look at her before I took the note and she was staring straight ahead, biting her lip. I swallowed thickly, slowly pulling the note from beneath her fingers and hoping that her warm hand would stay there when it was gone, shooting electric sparks all through my body. They stayed for a couple seconds before she scraped her nails along my thigh as her hand returned to her own lap.

_I like you too.  
><em>_Rachel Berry_

I blinked, staring down at the words written in pink pen. It was Rachel's turn to surprise me.

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><p>I didn't know how to respond to Rachel's note so I had left it at that and we stayed silent for the rest of class. When Spanish ended and the day was over, we walked silently down the hall together towards my locker, when I spotted Santana by hers. It was too late, Santana caught us walking together and I immediately said to Rachel, "I'll meet you at your car."<p>

I saw Rachel look up and find Santana through the crowd and I pretended not to notice the disappointment in her face as she said, "Sure."

By the time I reached Santana, her hands were on her hips in an aggressive stance as she demanded, "Why is she following you everywhere you go?"

I was going to tell Santana about the tutoring then, but the look she was giving was very intimidating, so I nervously filled the silence with another 'Stupid Brittany' comment, "I don't know, she kinda reminds me of that stray dog that was following me home and got hit by a car."

Santana stared after Rachel, but decided to let it slide as she dropped her voice to a sexy whisper, "So hows abouts you come over to my place and we gets our sweet lady kisses on."

"I thought you still weren't ready to tell everyone about your feelings for me," I said, curious to know if she was finally ready to admit to our friends that she loved me.

"Whoa slow down, I said 'sweet lady kisses' not marriage. You know I'm not ready to march in the Pride parade," she replied in barely a whisper, her eyes darting from one student to the next and making sure I was the only one who could hear her.

"And you know that I don't want to be with someone who hides themselves from the world," I replied, knowing that I was a giant hypocrite with every syllable that I spoke, but I couldn't help it. I could not be with someone who told me they loved me one minute and then declared their love in front of the Glee club for someone like Karofsky the next.

"Whatever," Santana shrugged, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she stormed off.

Santana was my first love, not just my first love with a girl, but my first love with anyone. But maybe it was finally time to move on.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait on this, I was trying to finish the next chapter of Summer Nights before working on it, but I caved and wrote this instead. The next chapter will be a bit shorter, so it'll probably be up, I'm hoping, by Friday. Enjoy and let me know what you think :D!

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><p>Rachel was leaning against her car, twisting a long lock of hair between her fingers as she waited for me to meet her. Her toe was tapping on the pavement and even though she was quite a ways from me, I could tell she was singing to herself by the way her lips were barely moving. Her head began to bob lightly to the tune she was singing as she looked for me around the school grounds. I ducked behind the tree I was passing, not entirely sure why, but it happened, and I found myself timidly peeking around it to be able to watch her without her knowledge. I had no idea what compelled me to do it. I'd never been the type of person who felt the need to stalk people and if anyone told me I'd be playing peeping tom on Rachel, I would've probably committed them to a psych ward.<p>

I watched as Rachel stopped playing with her hair and picked a stray hair off her shirt before smoothing the wrinkles out of her outfit. She looked around again and as her eyes caught sight of the side mirror on her car, she bent down to check her reflection. She rubbed away some of the eyeliner that had smeared and straightened some pieces of hair that had fallen to the wrong side of her head. Then she covered her hand over her mouth and nose, blowing into it as she checked her breath. She stood up straight with a sour face and I watched her bend into the driver side open window as she searched her car for something. Her skirt rode up and all I could see was impossibly long tan legs and, I wasn't sure because I was a little far away, but I was almost certain that her rising skirt had also uncovered a tiny bit of bright pink material, that could only be her panties.

I quickly turned back around, leaning my back against the tree and letting my head fall back as I shut my eyes. The image of her bending over seemed to be burned into my lids and I groaned as it was the only thing I could see. Why was she the only thing I could think about these days? A week ago if anyone had said Rachel Berry's name I would say my four year old cousin had more style than she did, but now all I wanted to do was write an essay about how I love the way she smells. At a time when I should be heart broken over how Santana still won't choose me over her fears, I'm not. I'm surprisingly fine with that, but very confused over whatever these feelings are about Rachel.

What if I'm taking things with Santana so hard, that I've manifested some sort of attraction to Rachel in order to avoid the pain I'm really feeling?

I hadn't had a thought that deep in a long time and it was definitely unsettling. Was it really possible that I was so upset over losing Santana that my mind would conjure up feelings for someone else as a way of dealing with it? And how would I know then if the feelings were real or not?

"You're thinking too much again," I whispered to myself, lightly bumping my head back against the tree in an attempt to knock some sense into me.

Peeking my head around the side of the tree, I watched as Rachel put something in her mouth, which I assumed was gum by the way she continued to chew it, and then glanced around the school yard again. When her head was turned away, I took the opportunity to move away from the tree and walk towards her.

She caught sight of me immediately and brightened as I neared her, casting her eyes to her mary-janes, "You came."

I raised an eyebrow at her, confused by her statement, "Of course I came. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," she said and there was a nervous chuckle in her voice, "You took so long, I thought maybe you went home with Santana."

"You thought I would just leave you here without telling you," I questioned, a little hurt by the assumption, but knowing that I had no right to be considering she only really knew me as one of the Cheerios.

"It wouldn't be the first time someone's done that to me," she shrugged, as if it didn't matter to her, but her eyes told a completely different story. It was so strange to see her like this. The Rachel Berry I knew from Glee always held her head up high and had such an air of confidence surrounding her, it usually sickened me. But now, when she was alone with me, all I saw was this vulnerable girl who seemed to be self-conscious in every aspect.

I laid a hand on her shoulder before I had a chance to think about it in my head, and when I realized the gesture meant more to me than it should, I gave her shoulder a playful shove and released it, "I wish you knew who I really am."

Her eyes shifted from the ground to meet mine and she smiled half-heartedly, "I do."

I shook my head at her and whispered, knowing there was no one around to hear, but still not ready to voice everything out loud and so out in the open, "No, you know my secret, but you don't really know me. Not yet."

I felt awkward talking to her like this. I was too unsure of what was too much and I couldn't even make sense of half the things that came out of my mouth. I hoped Rachel understood what I was saying, but the way her eyebrows had knitted together, told me that she was just as confused as I was.

"Do you know what my favourite colour is," I asked, it was a silly question, but I wanted to prove my point.

Her eyes turned upwards as she thought over the question and then answered with a smile, "Rainbows."

The laugh that erupted from inside me was surprising and caused Rachel to join in with a fit of giggles as well. It lasted some time until Rachel's smile grew serious and her eyes were watching me with intensity.

"What," I asked, when she continued to stare.

"I don't think I've ever really heard you laugh," she responded and her cheeks pinked as she added, "It's nice."

"That's my point," I said, returning to my original topic, "'Stupid Brittany' thinks rainbows is a colour, but my favourite colour is green."

Rachel scrunched up her nose and said, "I don't like how you call your... alter ego 'Stupid Brittany'."

"She's not a real person," I replied, not understanding why this mattered to her.

"She kinda is," Rachel answered, "Whether you like it or not, she became a part of you. Maybe you decided to become a little more unintelligent, however, I find it hard to believe that you created a completely new persona and there's nothing alike in the- umm- two of you."

I suddenly realized that we were still on school grounds and although almost everyone seemed to have gone, I still didn't feel quite comfortable discussing this so out in the open. I opened the driver's side door for Rachel for the only purpose of ushering her into the car faster, nothing to do with chivalry, and she gave me a questioning glance before slipping into the seat. I closed the door behind her and walked to the other side, tossing my bag onto the backseat before settling into the passenger seat. The smell of watermelon, the flavour of Rachel's gum, quickly enveloped the car and more than anything I wanted to know what it tasted like. I watched her lips move as she chewed the piece of gum and it took everything inside me to look away and push the thought from my mind.

"You're right," I sighed, my eyes settling on the Cheerios field as Rachel put the car in reverse and began to back out of the parking space, "I guess a lot is the same, but I feel like all the important parts are different."

"What are the important parts," she asked and I could feel her eyes shifting between me and the road, even though my eyes were still focused out my window.

It was a difficult question that I didn't think I was ready to fully answer. I was so used to hiding everything inside, to suddenly wear my heart on my sleeve felt like a betrayal to the person inside I had been protecting.

I was silent for awhile and Rachel waited. She didn't push, but she didn't try to change the subject either and finally I sighed and gave in, opting to give some information, "'Stupid Brittany' likes people, but ultimately will bully someone if her friends expect it of her. I hate it. I remember every hurtful comment I have ever said to anyone and it haunts me. I love Santana and I love Quinn, but sometimes I just want to punch them in the face. Especially Quinn. Quinn had to deal with harsh bullying in the past, so I don't understand why she would let herself ruin other people's lives when it had such a damaging affect on her. She's so broken inside."

I saw Rachel stiffen and her hands tighten on the steering wheel, "She's probably doing it for the same reason you are. You guys think that in order to be on top you have to put down everyone else around you."

I didn't say anything as my attention was turned back to the window, because she was right. I don't have any right to complain about Quinn's actions when mine were just the same. I was able to rationalize that Quinn was the bully because she was the one who barked the orders and I simply followed, but I was just as bad for following.

The drive seemed longer today than usual and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat wanting to break the silence, but not having anything to offer. Rachel kept her eyes on the road with a look of concentration on her face, but I only stole a quick glance before looking away. I already felt a little naked for opening up to her so much today.

When her car finally pulled into my driveway and she killed the engine, I moved to lean over the centre console to pick my school bag up out of the backseat and she moved at the same time, effectively smacking her forehead into mine.

"Sorry," Rachel gasped, her hand flying to the mark on my forehead that I was sure was matching hers. "Are you okay?"

The warm hand on my forehead made any pain that I had felt instantly disappear and I could feel the warmth spread to all regions of my body. Her mouth was open enough for me to see the light green piece of gum sitting on the side of her tongue and I began to fantasize about what it would feel like to steal that piece from her with my tongue. I bet her whole mouth tasted like watermelon at that moment.

"I'm fine," I assured her, brushing the back of my hand against the red mark on her forehead, "What about you?"

"My head has sustained many injuries far worse than this," she whispered, her eyes focused on my lips as she spoke and I wondered that if I took the opportunity to kiss her, if she would kiss me back. The moment ended before I could finish the thought as she retracted the hand on my forehead and held it up signally for me to wait while she leaned into the backseat. She pulled my school bag out first, placing it in my lap, and then grabbed a duffle bag, which I stared at with curiosity.

"I thought I should bring clothes suitable for dancing to change into," she explained as we exited her car, slinging the bag over her shoulder.

"That's a good idea," I admitted, looking over her navy sweater with a cat on it and bright red skirt. The skirt was nice, all the skirts she wore were nice because they showed off her legs, but the sweater was appalling, no matter how much I liked cats.

I let her lead the way to my bedroom, allowing my eyes to wander over her toned legs as she climbed the stairs. I shut the door behind me when we reached my room and fell down onto my bed, lazily lying back onto my pillows. Rachel dropped her bag on the floor beside the bed and sat down on the edge, her ass brushing against my calves as she did.

"I want to apologize for today," she sighed, beginning to absently pick at my comforter. "I guess I just got confused because I thought we were friends now and-"

"We are friends, Rachel," I interrupted her, taking her hand in mine before I could consider the consequences. Her fingers were so delicate and soft and I was momentarily struck by how well they fit with mine. I loved the contrast of her tan against my own pale skin and was so lost in the sensation I almost jumped when she broke the silence.

"But your secret hobbit friend," her eyes were carefully watching my thumb, which had at some point begun to rub small circles into the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry I said that," I breathed, but my concentration was still on her hand and the velvety skin beneath my thumb.

She went silent and I forced myself to tear my eyes away from our adjoining hands to look up at her. Her eyes were flickering between mine and the comforter and I could tell that she wanted to ask me something, but was fighting an internal battle on whether she should ask or not.

"What," I asked and her eyes shot back at me, unprepared for the question.

"Do you really thing hobbits are sexy," she said timidly, using her free hand to continue to pick at the comforter.

I wanted to say 'yes' and inadvertently tell her that I thought she was sexy, but my fears got the best of me. It sounded like she was flirting, and if it was anyone else I wouldn't even question it, but somehow with her I couldn't tell if she really just wanted a friend or if this was starting to mean something else to her. I still didn't even know what it meant to myself and wasn't ready to give myself that moment to contemplate my feelings.

"You're not a hobbit," I said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

She nodded in response, but I could tell by her eyes that she didn't fully believe me, "Sometimes I think-"

I could tell that she was beginning to head into a conversation centering around her insecurities and I couldn't listen to her beat herself up.

"You're not a hobbit," I said louder, this time yanking on her hand and causing her to fall towards me. I pinched the tender flesh of her side with my free hand, eliciting a startled squeak as she tried to glue her elbow to her side to prevent me from continuing my attack. Once it registered in my mind just how ticklish she was, it was over. I released her hand and began my assault on her sides, tickling without remorse as she squirmed and giggled with her eyes squeezed shut.

A few minutes later and I found myself in a particularly dangerous situation. I was kneeling in between her legs, the tops of my bare thighs, brushing against the insides of her thighs as I moved. Her hideous cat sweater had rode up in the attack and was sitting just above her navel, while my fingers teased the bare skin it had revealed. My smile vanished as I realized the situation and my fingers stilled at her sides. She noticed how close I was as well, as I hovered above her, and her giggles subsided as the mood grew serious. Her tongue darted out, moistening her lips as her eyes fell to study my own. I was sure that she wanted me to kiss her. I was sure that if I just laid my body against her, something my body was aching to do, and if I just took that moment to capture her lips with mine, she would kiss me back. Maybe she would grind her hips against me and pull my hair back in her fist as the kiss deepened. Maybe she would moan into my mouth.

But what if I was reading her completely wrong? She made me so unsure of myself all the time. The look in her eyes told me that she wanted it, it looked like she wanted me as much as I wanted her, but Rachel and I had a good friendship beginning, and I was getting used to seeing her everyday. What if she ran screaming from my room again, she did it enough in Glee for me to know that it was likely something she did on a regular basis everywhere else as well.

"We should start dancing," I whispered, disappointing myself with my words as I got up off the bed. I was sure I saw disappointment in her face as she adjusted her sweater and slid off the bed.

"I need to change," she announced, picking up her duffle bag.

"Bathroom's right there," I replied, pointing to the bathroom as I sat back down on the edge of the bed.

After a painfully long few minutes of waiting, in which I debated with myself whether to ask if she was alright or not, the door finally opened as she posed with her hands on her hips. I had to consciously stop the laugh that threatened to erupt as I looked over her attire. Dressed in a sleeveless black spandex unitard, with light pink legwarmers that extended to her pink ballet slippers and her hair slicked back in a tight ponytail, I almost lost it and burst out laughing. That was until I noticed the bodysuit clung to every single part of her body, and most importantly, she did not have a panty line. I swallowed thickly and I was quite aware that I was staring, but even the apocalypse would not have gotten me to look away.

"Is this not suitable," she questioned and looked down at herself with insecurity.

My mouth suddenly felt like I had been sucking on cotton balls as I tried to regain my composure and just when I thought I would be able to speak again, she turned towards the bathroom mirror and I could see the full outline of her ass.

I must've gasped because she quickly turned back around with a look of confusion and I once again tried to swallow.

"That depends, we are working on hip-hop dance, right," I said, surprised I could even got the words out.

She nodded her response and began to worry her lip.

"Then this is not the outfit one would conventionally wear," I said, and the raspiness in my voice was beginning to rival Santana's.

She sighed and folded her arms across her chest, "Well what would you suggest?"

"Maybe a pair of booty shorts and a t-shirt," I shrugged, doing my best to appear nonchalant, like my panties were not continuously growing uncomfortably wet.

"Do you want me to change back," she asked, looking back at her duffle bag, sitting in the middle of the bathroom.

"No," I answered, standing up and pushing my bed up against the wall, "Let's just start practising."

My room was quite large and pushing my bed against the wall gave us more than enough room to practice dance moves.

"I think we should just start with some basic moves so I can see what you know and what you need to work on," I said, slipping my iPod into its docking station and selecting my 'dance beats' playlist. "I know you have a lot of dance experience behind you, but hip-hop is a different type of dance than ballet or tap. The way you move your body is completely different. Instead of soft flowing movements and extensions, you're popping your body and shaking your ass. Ballet is a beautiful dance, but hip-hop is a sexy dance."

She bowed her head slightly at the word 'sexy' and I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I don't think too many people would put me in the 'sexy' category," she blushed.

"You may be surprised," I answered under my breath, but the comment didn't go unnoticed and her eyes flashed to me. "That's why we're doing this. We'll make a sex kitten out of you yet."

Her face went beat red at that comment, but I didn't miss a beat before explaining the first sequence of moves we were going to do.

"Alright, so like I said, we're going to start out simple," I said showing her the dance moves as I voiced what I was doing, "First you're going to take your right foot and take a step forward, widening your stance, while locking your right fist to your hip. Then you do the same with your left foot and left fist. Then you roll your hips."

She was looking at me as if I was teaching her the ABCs and she rolled her eyes.

"I know it's easy," I said, "But like I said, I need to see how you move and if you've got the basic steps down correctly."

"Okay, okay," she said, placing her hands on her hips as I pressed the play button on my remote for the docking station.

I began to count out the beat, watching her body move as she executed the first few steps, and everything went perfect until she went to roll her hips. It looked forced and lazy, as if she wasn't even trying.

"Come on, Rachel. I know it's easy, but at least try," I spoke over the music.

She folded her arms across her chest and her bottom lip extended in a defiant pout, "I am trying."

"Again," I demanded and she rolled her eyes again, but assumed the position. I counted out the beat once again and again it was flawless until she made another attempt at rolling her hips. It was as if she was moving them in a hula hooping motion. I shook my head and waved my hand for her to stop.

"It's like this," I said as I rolled my hips in demonstration. She tried to mimic the move, but failed once again. "Just pretend you got a guy behind you and you're grinding up against him."

Her face went blank as she shrugged, "I've never really done that before."

"You've never grinded with a guy on the dance floor," I asked, taken aback by the revelation.

"I choreographed 'Push It'," she said, as if trying to make up for her lack of experience.

"It was a little sloppy," I admitted, before realizing I had said it out loud. A look of disappointment clouded her features and I immediately changed the subject, "Alright, I'll show you."

I moved around behind her, nudging her feet apart with my foot until her stance was wide enough and then slid my leg in between hers. I felt her entire body tense as I pressed my body flush against her and my thigh pressed against her centre. I kept telling myself not to get excited, that I was only teaching her how to do it, but she felt amazing and the thin piece of spandex that was separating her from my thigh, was making me go crazy.

"Relax," I whispered, but my voice was shaking as I spoke, making it apparent that I was definitely not relaxed either. I squeezed her shoulders soothingly and ran my hands up and down her bare arms until I felt her body begin to relax and lean in to me. I placed my fingertips on her hips to guide her and said in another shaky voice, "I'm going to roll my hips and you just roll yours with mine to get the feel of it. Okay?"

She gave a slight nod, but her teeth were digging into her bottom lip as her eyes focused on the wall on the other side of the room. I listened to the beat playing, counting the rhythm in my head once before moving my hips to the beat, effectively grinding myself against her ass and concentrating so hard on containing my moan. My fingers gripped her hips and each time I rolled my hips I guided hers to do the same motion.

After we had repeated the motion a few times, I suddenly felt a wetness on my thigh where it was rubbing against her and her head fell back against my shoulder, as her eyes closed. I knew we weren't dancing anymore. Her breath was coming out in short gasps and her hips were no longer moving with the beat, even with my fingers trying to guide her motions.

I couldn't believe it, was she about to...

I felt my fingers begin to slide from her hips towards her center at an achingly slow pace. She still smelled of the watermelon gum, and a hint of vanilla, and the exposed skin of her neck was begging me to kiss it. I resisted, afraid that it would somehow make it all too real for her and break the spell she was under. I could hear her mumbling something in between her erratic breathing, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I couldn't believe how wet she was, sliding against my leg and I soon realized that I was quietly moaning along with her. I gave in as my hand neared her center, planting a chaste kiss to the nap of her neck and she let out a loud moan as her hand latched on to my free leg and she dug her fingernails painfully deep into my skin.

"Stop, stop, stop, Brittany stop," she screamed stringing the words together without breaks, and my entire body froze, not daring to move a single muscle. Her eyes were squeezed shut so tightly as she began to take slow deep breaths, I assumed trying to hold back her desire.

It took everything inside of me not to throw her down on my bed, rip off her clothes and finish her off. Lick and kiss and bite my way down her body and taste her until she came. My body was on fire and I had never been so turned on in my life. It was crazy to think that Rachel was the one who was doing this to me, but I didn't even care anymore. I didn't care how ridiculous it was that I had fallen for her. I didn't care if she was the biggest loser in school. It didn't matter. If she could make me feel that nothing else in the world mattered except our bodies moving together, then I wanted her with me forever.

Moments passed with nothing but the sound of our breathing. Neither of us daring to make a single move, until finally she took a deep breath, let it out and then slid away from me, shivering as her centre brushed against my wet thigh one last time.

Her face was flush as she turned to face me, her eyes on the ground and refusing to meet mine. I could see the darker patch in the crotch of her bodysuit and I licked my lips, knowing what that meant, knowing that was the evidence of her arousal. Finally her eyes reached mine, but only for a second as she turned and ran from my room at top speed.

It took a moment for me to snap out of it and realize what was happening before I was quickly chasing after her.

"Rachel wait," I called after her as she jumped down the stairs, without hesitation, "Rachel, please just wait."

I didn't catch up to her until she had almost gotten to her car and I was able to reach out and grab her wrist, stopping her.

"It's okay," I assured her with a smile and a light squeeze on her wrist, "Calm down, it's okay."

"It's not okay," she screamed back and there were tears falling down her cheeks as she shook her head. "I can't- I just- I can't."

I released her wrist and watched hopelessly as she dropped into the driver's seat and sped out of my driveway.

Those words. So familiar. First Santana and now Rachel. What was so bad about being with me?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** It's still Friday for 10 more minutes here, so I didn't lie. Here's the next chapter and hopefully I will get the next one up sometime before the weekend is over. Again thanks for all the favs and alerts and reviews, I'm really happy everyone seems to be enjoying the story. Please continue to R&R!

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><p>Santana still wasn't speaking to me the next day and even chose to sit beside another Cheerio in math class. I didn't take it too hard, I was more focused on seeing Rachel and smoothing things over with her. I wasn't too worried about Santana. We'd been through our share of fights in the past, but they never lasted too long and I never had any doubt that we were still friends. This time felt no different.<p>

But Rachel was new and I didn't know if what happened last night meant the end of whatever kind of friendship we had going on. I'd known her for a couple years, but we'd never really hung out outside of Glee, and although I knew she could be overly dramatic, I really didn't know what to make of her reaction. I had this strange feeling that I had pushed her into something, even though I knew that whatever happened really wasn't intentional and I definitely hadn't done any pushing.

I couldn't get her out of my head. I spent the entire night, wide awake, replaying our dance over and over and over again in my mind, and then breaking down into tears remembering how our evening ended. I wasn't usually one to get very emotional over anything. I could probably count on my fingers the number of times I had cried since I started high school, but Rachel's words echoed through my head in a continuous loop that broke me down until I was curled up, hugging my knees and bawling like a little child. Maybe her words wouldn't have been quite as powerful if I hadn't already heard them before.

Rachel was absent from math class, to my dismay, and so the seat beside me remained empty.

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><p>I walked to the bathroom during my spare, planning on spending some time to myself, but as soon as the door closed behind me, I heard a sniffle and the unmistakable sound of a girl crying. I was going to turn around and leave, but the sound was so familiar it only took a second for me to realize who was behind it.<p>

"Rachel," I said softly, leaning against the closed stall door.

"Brittany," she questioned, obviously not expecting me to be the one who found her.

"Open the door," I replied, insistently.

She hesitated a moment before stuttering, "I- I'm using the facilities."

I bent down enough so that I could see her feet, which were angled towards the toilet, and rolled my eyes, "Not unless you grew an extra part overnight. Come on, open the door."

There was another moment of hesitation before she opened the door enough for me to slip inside, locking the door behind me.

"There's no one else in here," I said, leaning back against the closed door and trying to leave a sliver of space between us in the tiny stall.

"I know, but I'm not ready to come out," she sniffled again.

It was obvious she had been the victim of another slushie attack, as she was stained with red syrup this time. It had appeared as though she had made a pitiful attempt at cleaning herself off, before retreating into the stall. She still had a few streaks of red down her cheeks and neck, dipping down into her shirt, which was thoroughly soaked, and her hair was in sticky mats. There were breaks in the lines on her cheeks where it was clear her tears had passed through.

"Who did this to you," I demanded, feeling the rage begin to boil inside of me. This was twice in a week now that she had been slushied and maybe the first time I managed to shrug it off, but I couldn't find it in me to let it slide again.

Rachel hesitated before answering, shifting her eyes away from me as she shrugged, "I'm not sure, I didn't really see them. I think it was a couple of the football players."

"Karofsky," I said, making it sound more like a statement than a question.

She just shrugged again and suddenly she was burying her face in her hands and sobbing again.

"What, what's wrong," I prodded, gripping her shoulders tightly.

"I still haven't replaced my spare clothing," she cried, her voice muffled by her hands.

I thought for a moment before realizing that I was wearing a camisole underneath my shirt and said, "Here."

She looked up from her hands and watched me pull my shirt over my head and handed it to her.

"It might be a little big," I added as she took it from me.

"Thank you," she said blandly, stunned, I supposed, by my generosity.

"You need it more than I do," I smiled, gripping the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head without a second thought.

My breath hitched as I realized that I had just taken off Rachel's shirt and she was standing there in just a simple black bra. Her skin was gorgeous and flawless and the few tiny freckles on her chest and stomach were begging me to lick them. The other thing that I wanted to lick, the strawberry flavoured streaks of melted slushie that also lined that area.

When my eyes finally returned to her face, she was looking away, obviously embarrassed, and began to move to cover herself with my shirt.

"Wait," I said, before she could put it over her head, and I quickly slipped out of the stall and grabbed a few paper towels. I wet a couple of them with warm water and left another one dry, before returning to the stall and locking the door behind me. "We should clean you up before you put on the shirt."

She nodded in agreement, her eyes on mine as I took one of the wet paper towels and began to gently wipe her cheeks. I kept my eyes on her cheek as I wiped the sticky syrup off her, but I could feel her eyes unwavering from mine.

"We should talk about last night," I said softly, glancing at her eyes for a moment before switching to her other cheek and wiping that one.

She was silent for awhile and I let her have that as I brushed the paper towel over her lips to her chin and along her jaw. I didn't want to push her and have a repeat of the previous night, with her running away.

"I think it would be best for our professional relationship if we chose to ignore the events of last night and instead moved forward as if it never occurred," she answered, lifting her head in an attempt to appear as though she had forgotten about it already.

"Professional relationship," I questioned, unintentionally showing my disappointment. "I thought we were friends."

"Who are we kidding, Brittany," she sighed and I wiped the fresh tears that had begun to roll down her cheeks, this time with my thumb instead of the paper towel. "We can't be friends."

"Why not," I asked, watching her shiver as I began to wipe the syrup off her neck.

"You were right. We're on complete opposite ends of the social structure. I can't expect the unwritten laws of high school to bend for us, just because we somehow managed to overcome the odds and become friends," she said, taking the paper towel from my hand and beginning to wipe off her chest herself.

"What are you even talking about," I said, watching with dark eyes as the paper dipped into her bra, hoping to see a hint of more skin, but Rachel was careful.

"You're a Cheerio, Brittany, and I'm just a glee loser," she rationalized, tossing the red paper towel into the toilet and taking the other one from me.

"I'm a glee loser too," I said, I felt like she was slipping away from me and my heart was beginning to beat out of my chest.

"You're in glee, you're not a glee loser," she corrected, looking over herself to see if she had missed any slushie spots. I noticed a spot on her stomach, just below her bra and took the paper towel from her as I wiped it off.

"That's the same thing, Rachel," I said, dabbing at her wet skin with the dry paper towel and watching the muscles in her stomach contract as my fingers brushed over her. I was having unbelievable trouble trying to concentrate on the battle we were having and not give in to my urge of pushing her up against the stall wall. Her skin looked like it should be kissed and licked and bitten and god I would not be able to last much longer.

Suddenly, she threw the shirt over her head and the clothing covered her body, effectively bringing all my attention to our conversation.

"Do you not want to be friends," I asked, my voice sounding so small as I feared the answer she would give.

Her head tilted to the side and she gave me a lopsided smile, "Of course I do, I just think-"

"Stop thinking," I blurted out. "We're not doing anything wrong."

"Okay," she nodded, finally giving in, "Friends."

"So I'm still giving you dance lessons after school," I asked, hopefully.

"Yes," she smiled and with that response I slid my arms around her waist and pulled her in to a hug. Her arms immediately wrapped around my neck and she stood on her toes as she rested her chin on my shoulder. She was so warm, so soft, so perfect against my body. I never wanted to let go.

"Shit," I said suddenly, pulling away to smack myself in the forehead.

"What," she questioned, startled by the sudden break in contact.

"I've got motocross practice after school today," I sighed.

"Oh," she replied and the disappointment in her voice could not be missed.

"You could come and watch," I offered, the idea exciting me. "Then you could drive me back to my place afterwards."

"Okay," she nodded, her smile returning.

"It's at the mud hills, just outside of town," I explained, taking a pen from my backpack and ripping a page out of my scribbler, as I scratched down the directions. I handed her the paper and she took a moment to look it over before slipping it into her own backpack.

"You ready to come out now," I asked, putting my hand on the lock of the door, but not turning it until I got a nod from Rachel.

As soon as we had stepped out of the stall, the bathroom door swung open and Santana walked in.

"There you are, Britt," she said, folding her arms across her chest when she noticed Rachel, "You got a staring problem, Dwarf?"

Rachel's face fell as she looked away and I opened my mouth to say something to Santana, but she started speaking again before I could.

"Are you wearing Britt's shirt," Santana demanded, her voice vicious as she spat out the words and then turned towards me without missing a beat, "Is she wearing your shirt?"

I shrugged as calmly as I could, "She got slushied and needed a clean shirt."

"Yeah, I know," she growled, but there was a smirk at the corners of her mouth, "I was the one that slushied her."

"But you said it was the football players," I said shocked, my attention turning entirely towards Rachel.

"I said I didn't see," Rachel mumbled, her eyes refusing to meet mine.

"What, are you trying to protect me or something? I know you saw me," Santana chuckled.

"No, I just...," Rachel started, but it looked like she couldn't find the words to finish the sentence and she began to chew on her cheek.

I understood, though. She wasn't protecting Santana. She had been protecting me. Maybe she knew me better than I thought she did, because somehow she knew that if she had told me it was Santana who had attacked her, I would've fallen out of character, sought her out and confronted her. I would have. I know this for a fact because it was taking everything inside me to grit my teeth and swallow my rage, calming myself down before returning to my monotone voice, "I'm so bored with torturing Rachel, can't we pick on the new foreign exchange student? I don't like the way he looks at me."

Santana raised an eyebrow at me, "Britt, he's blind."

"That's no excuse," I said, as she rolled her eyes at me and then locked her pinky in mine.

"Let's go, Britt," she said as she began to drag me away.

I turned towards Rachel and winked at her and she smiled back shyly. It was a silent promise to her that I would somehow make everything right.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter is really short. The next chapter will be longer, I promise. really have the urge to draw fan art for this fic, but I'm going to try to hold off until the story's done, or else I might get distracted with drawing for a long time. Anyway, I hope everyone is still enjoying this :)

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><p>I didn't talk to Rachel for the rest of the day. I stole some brief glances towards her in the lunch room, while she was sitting with Mercedes and Kurt, and listened to her answer all the questions in Spanish class, but she never once tried to sit beside me and didn't follow me around like she had done the previous day. I guessed my words had sunk in, that at school we couldn't be friends, but I couldn't help missing her around me.<p>

When the school day finally ended and I got to motocross practice, I expected Rachel to be there waiting, but she was no where in sight. I pulled my bike out of our team leader, Jay's trailer and slipped my helmet over my head as I straddled the bike. I took one last look for her and, coming up empty, I kicked my bike into gear and began to plow through the course.

I tried to focus my mind on what I was doing, the feel of the bike beneath me, the wind whipping at my thighs as I hit a jump and got some good air, but my mind kept falling back to Rachel. Motocross had always been my favourite activity. It was the only time when I could de-stress, clear my mind, and focus on making a perfect run and completing my tricks. Today, I was completely off my game. I had no game.

I had spun out on a corner twice and bailed when landing a jump once, causing me to land awkwardly on my side. It would leave a bruise, but I had managed to avoid any lasting damage.

"What's with you today," Jay asked as I stood my bike up from the dirt, "You're usually my best rider, Brittany."

I opened my mouth to say something, but then realized that I couldn't remember how 'Stupid Brittany' would respond to it. Something about gophers? Nothing came to mind, so I shrugged and hurried back onto my bike, riding away from him.

"Okay, Britt. Focus," I said to myself, taking deep breaths as I stood still at the beginning of the course. That's when I saw her, Rachel, leaning up against her parked car a little ways away. The wind was tossing her hair and her skirt all over the place and she was holding the bottom of it to keep it from flying up. Adrenaline began to pump in my veins and I had the sudden urge to show off and impress her. I could see her eyes on me as I kicked my bike into gear, a little harder than necessary and flew off down the first hill. I picked up as much speed as I could and hit the first jump, hitting crazy air as I shifted the bike so that it was angled horizontally before setting it back into position and landing perfectly.

The next jump that came up I took my feet off the pedals and extended my legs into the splits, lifting my ass high off the seat before setting back down and landing the jump. It appeared that I just needed that extra adrenaline to get myself back into riding mode. I could see I was coming up to Rachel and I took a detour off the course to ride straight towards her. I saw her tense when I was heading right for her head on and not slowing down. She tried to back up more, but she was already against her car and at the last second, I squeezed the breaks and twisted the bike, kicking up a small patch of dust to her ankles and stopping a foot away from her. It was such a guy thing to do, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it.

She sighed in relief when she realized I hadn't hit her and she was still in one piece and I flipped the visor on my helmet open.

"I'm glad you made it," I smiled, watching as she tried to brush off some of the sand from her white knee highs.

"Well you did invite me," she smiled back.

"Get on," I said, scooting forward a bit on the bike to give her some room.

I could see the fear set in on her face as she shook her head and stuttered, "No, I-I-I don't have a helmet."

I pulled my helmet off my head and wiped the mouth piece off, in case I had unintentionally drooled, before slipping it on to Rachel's head. It was a little big, but it wasn't going to fall off and god she looked unbelievably cute. The front piece was covering her mouth and tip of her nose and all I could see was unsure eyes staring back at me.

"There," I smiled, patting the top of the helmet and causing her to teeter slightly, "Now you have a helmet."

She stood awkwardly for a moment and I knew she was trying to think of another excuse so I leaned over and grabbed her arm, pulling her closer to the bike until she finally gave in and hopped on. She put her hands on the tops of her thighs and I quickly grabbed them and wrapped them around my waist, "If you don't hold on you're going to fall off before I even get going."

"Please don't kill me," she announced as her arms tightened even more around me and I could feel her whole body pressed tightly against my back.

"I'd never hurt you, Rachel," I said with certainty, hoping that she knew I wasn't just talking about while she was on my bike.

"Go slow," she warned, her voice muffled by the helmet, but I heard what she said.

I smirked back at her, "No chance in that."

I kicked the bike into gear and sped off, a little faster than I had meant to, eliciting a high squeak from Rachel as her hands locked even tighter around me. I steered through the course, avoiding the higher jumps, but hitting the smaller ones so she could get the feel of the air whipping below us, and after a few minutes, I felt her body relax as she started to enjoy the ride. I'm almost certain that when I hit a few jumps that were a little larger than the previous, she was giggling.

I didn't want the moment to ever end. I couldn't remember ever feeling so calm and happy and like everything in the world was just how it was supposed to be. It was like when we were dancing the night before, like I was right where I was supposed to be.

When practice ended and I stopped my bike in front of the trailer. She hopped off, a little less gracefully than she meant to, and stumbled as she tried to get her legs to stop trembling. I laughed lightly, careful to make it known that I wasn't making fun of her, "Takes a bit to get used to it."

I walked the bike up into the trailer and turned around, seeing Rachel still wearing the helmet as I walked towards her and pulled it off her head, "I'm gonna need this."

Her hair pulled up with it and the static caused some long strands to stand straight up into the air. I couldn't hold back my giggles as she frowned and patted at her head and demanded, "What, what's wrong?"

"You're hair is sticking up," I said in between fits of giggles and within seconds her frown faded and she broke into giggles along with me. After the laughing had subsided I asked, "Did you have fun."

She gave me a hard look for a moment, but it wavered and broke into a wide smile, "I can't remember when I felt so- so alive!"

"I'm glad," I smiled and then she suddenly lunged at me, throwing her arms around my neck as she hugged me. My hands wrapped around her waist and I bent my head down resting my nose against her head, inhaling her scent. There wasn't any fruity smells now, no left over strawberry from the slushie or watermelon gum. She smelled entirely of vanilla and I had to resist the urge to lick her.

"Promise me you will take me again," she whispered into my ear, before turning her head to face towards me as she rested it against my chest. I could feel her nose brush against the side of my neck and I was so confused with what was going on. This wasn't a friendly hug by any means and she had to have known that. So why would she run away scared last night and want to forget all about it today, and yet hug me like this now? Why did she have to be so puzzling?

"Anytime," I sighed into her, ignoring the thoughts swirling around my head and relaxing into her embrace. I could figure it out later, when she wasn't nuzzling my neck with her nose.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** New chapter and it's longer than the last. Next update will probably be in the next few days. I hope you all enjoy! R&R please!

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><p>"So tell me about yourself, Brittany Pierce," Rachel said, sitting down on my bed as I closed my bedroom door and peeled off my leather motocross jacket.<p>

I glanced over at her questioningly, not sure what she wanted me to say and said, "What do you want to know?"

"What's your favourite thing to do," Rachel asked, with a big smile on her face, making it clear that she wasn't just making small talk, she was actually interested in the answer.

"Motocross," I said, without hesitation.

"I thought you would've said dancing or being a part of the Cheerios," she said, swinging her feet up and down as she spoke.

"I do enjoy dancing," I nodded, "but Cheerios is more Quinn and Santana's thing."

"I understand that this is going to sound a little hypocritical coming from me," she said, pressing her hands together in her lap, "But I still don't understand why you would keep up this charade for something as petty as popularity."

"Have you ever told a little lie," I sighed, sitting down on the bed beside Rachel and staring down at my hands, "that you never really meant to, but it just slipped out, and it was so small that you never really thought it would make a difference anyways, and then because of that little lie you had to tell another lie that was a little bigger to cover up that smaller one and then another one a little bigger than that and then soon you realized that you're spending all your time trying to cover up your lies and somewhere along the way you completely lost yourself. You never meant to, but you became so afraid of losing the good friends that you had made that you didn't know what else to do except keep covering it up."

"Yes," Rachel admitted, "I have lied in an attempt to elevate my status at school, perhaps even to persuade a boy that I liked to go out with me, but it never carried on for years, Brittany."

"Because you came clean and admitted you lied," I asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," Rachel said, drawing out the word, "More like because I got caught in the lie."

"Exactly," I said, "I don't know if it's because I'm that good of an actress or if nobody cares enough to question it, but I just haven't gotten caught yet. I never meant for it to go this far, somehow my little lie just grew and grew until it was completely in control of my life and I don't know how to get out of it, Rachel. I can't lose my friends, but if I tell them that I've been lying about who I am all this time, that's exactly what's going to happen. I don't even care about being popular anymore, I haven't cared about that for a year. Now I'm just afraid of losing everyone I care about."

Rachel put her hand on my shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze, "Why motocross?"

"I started riding when I was just a kid and motocross is the only thing that I still do that makes me feel like me," I replied, happy to change the subject and talk about my passion, "My father always wanted a boy, but after having two girls, he sort of started treating me like his little boy. I still got Barbies and the flower wallpaper and all that, but when I was six years old, my dad bought me my first dirt bike and taught me how to ride. I loved it from that first moment I got on that bike. Nothing matters when you ride. It's pretty silly, but I always had this fantasy of riding pro. I'm not good enough for that yet, but maybe one day you'll be able to watch me on tv rocking it out at the X-Games."

Rachel chuckled lightly, "You are full of surprises, Brittany. I watched you, before you forced me on to the back of your bike, and I think you're amazing. You have so much control over your bike, it's inspiring to watch you."

"You didn't even see my good tricks," I smiled, poking her in the ribs with my elbow, playfully. I didn't mention the falls I took while wondering if she was going to show up or not.

"Another piece of the Brittany puzzle," she said, giving my knee a pat and stood up, "I need to change into more suitable dance attire."

"Yeah, me too," I agreed, my leather motocross pants were uncomfortably sticking to my legs and I couldn't wait to get them off. She grabbed her duffle bag off the floor and disappeared into the bathroom. Taking the opportunity, I quickly shed my motocross clothes and grabbed a pair of jean shorts and a green t-shirt. Sitting back on my bed to wait, I turned on the television and blindly flipped through the channels, impatiently. As I was flipping, I stopped on a movie only because I saw Barbra Streisand and only because I knew how much Rachel idolized her. I honestly didn't know anything about her and had no idea which movie it was, but I figured if I wanted to get in her good books, I should probably do a little research.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened a crack and Rachel's head poked out, "Do I hear Barbra?"

"Barbra who," I said dumbly, looking over at her as she hid her body behind the door. She ignored the remark as her eyes lit up at the sight of Barbra on the screen. Her head instantly disappeared back into the bathroom for a second before she rushed back out, still tugging the white beater shirt over her head. She crawled over me to the other side of the bed, then laid down on her stomach, with her head at the foot of it, cradling her chin in her hands while lifting her bare feet into the air and crossing her legs at the ankle. She looked like a little kid watching Saturday morning cartoons.

"Does this mean we're not dancing today," I asked, watching as she began to mouth the words along with the movie.

She shot me back a glance over her shoulder that told me I should not be interrupting Barbra, before turning back to the screen and saying, "It's almost over."

I nodded, even though she couldn't see it, then realized that I could take this opportunity to let my eyes wander over her body without her or anyone knowing. She had changed into a pair of hot pink cotton shorts, that were just long enough to cover her ass, but showed all of her long beautiful legs, and the white beater and she managed to make the plain outfit look exceptionally sexy. Maybe it was the fact that the shorts clung tightly to her skin, just as the bodysuit had, and just like then I could not see a panty line. I was fairly certain she was trying to kill me with her body. How could someone who looked that good, who continuously made every coherent thought leave my brain when she walked into a room, who made my heart burst when she looked at me, how could she be the school loser?

Her legs were so close to me that if I just nudged my thigh over an inch it would be brushing up against hers and the thought was making my eyes close. Picturing her bare skin moving against mine, I felt like my hormones had began to go on overdrive this week, ever since we started hanging out, and nothing would get them to calm down. She was still mouthing the words to the movie as I extended my index finger and placed it lightly on her calf. I knew I shouldn't, I knew I was risking pushing her away again, but I couldn't stop myself. I blamed the shorts and the amount of leg that was being offered beside me. No matter what the excuse, my finger was already there and slowly dragging down her calf to stop at the crook of her bent knee. I noticed her eyes were now closed and her mouth hung open slightly, no longer mouthing the words to the movie. I waited for a moment for her to tell me to stop, but when the room stayed silent, save for Barbra, I continued my trail a couple more inches up the inside of her thigh and watched as she shivered and bit down on her full lip. I got nervous when I got mid-thigh and instead of continuing up, I went back down, following the trail I had made, ending at her ankle.

I glanced over at the clock and said, "It's seven o'clock."

She rolled over onto her back, leaning back on her elbows and raised an eyebrow at me, "Is there somewhere you have to be?"

"No," I shrugged, "It's just about that time for you to run screaming from my house."

She looked away, trying to hide the guilt in her face and replied softly, "I do apologize for my past behaviour."

"It's okay," I said, taking a deep breath and gathering all of my courage for what I was about to say next, "I just really didn't expect you to get the 'gay panic'."

"'Gay panic'," she repeated, her brow furrowing in confusion as she sat up on my bed.

"When a person freaks out because they are having 'gay' feelings towards someone," I explained, trying with everything inside of me not to show how nervous I was feeling and how afraid I was to actually have this conversation with her.

She suddenly leaped off the bed, folding her arms tightly across her chest as she defended herself, "I am not homophobic! I have two gay dads. I have been raised to have an open mind since I was born. I support Kurt and Blaine's relationship one-hundred and ten percent!"

I nodded, calmly and said, "I never said you were homophobic. Yes, you support the relationships around you, but I think you made up this fantasy of your perfect life when you were a little girl and it has stuck with you all this time as what to strive for in life. And maybe, in this fantasy, you didn't factor in that the person who makes you happy for the rest of your life could be a woman."

"Is that what you think," she asked, her voice low but her tone was accusing, "You think I ran out of here because I was scared about having _gay_ feelings?"

"Why else would you just tell me 'I can't'," I questioned, even repeating the words hurt.

Her fists balled at her sides and the muscles in her jaw tensed as she burst out, "Did you ever think that maybe not all of us are as experienced as you with sex and that maybe I have yet to experience that kind of- of- pleasure before. Maybe I didn't want the first time that I experienced that to be while my friend was teaching me how to dance and while we were entirely clothed and with someone that I've never even kissed before, nevermind a relationship and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about them- you. Did you ever consider that maybe it was a little embarrassing, having my body react like that to dancing. And yes, part of it is because you're a girl, but most of it is because I'm-I'm confused. I thought I knew myself and suddenly I don't and I really hardly even know you and I-I'm really trying hard not to run away again."

The words came out in such a rush, they left me stunned. I wasn't expecting any of that. I knew Rachel hadn't had sex, but I had assumed that she had at least gotten herself off before, hadn't everybody? The thought had never occurred to me that she was pulling away for those reasons. I guess I was so used to Santana rejecting me because I was a girl, that I didn't realize there could be other reasons. Although, she did say she was confused about the girl thing, so that wasn't completely off the hook yet. I wanted her to elaborate and ask her how she felt about me, but I felt like she had let out so much already, and all in one breath, that maybe I wasn't even ready to hear the rest yet. I knew that she wasn't sure about me yet and at least she wasn't out right rejecting me.

She began to turn towards the door, snapping me out of my thoughts as I instinctively caught her wrist in my hand and pulled her down against me. She wasn't prepared and had no time to brace herself as her body crashed down on top of mine on my bed. She was crying again and I hated it, because this time it was me who was making her cry.

"Don't cry," I whispered, softly as she laid her head down on my chest and I brushed her hair back from her face. She sniffled in response, but I could feel her tears pooling on my chest where her cheek was pressed against me. I slid my arm around her waist, dipping my fingers underneath her shirt to lightly caress the bare skin of her lower back and let my other hand rest on the thigh that was draped across my hips.

"I like you a lot, Rachel," I said, my voice cracking from the nerves and I could feel my hands shaking against her skin. No one had the power to do this to me but her. "I know you're confused and I know that everything seems to be happening so sudden, but I've always had a soft spot for you. I just wanted you to know that."

I felt her head move against me, angling upwards as she pressed a soft kiss to my neck that sent chills all through my body.

"I like you too, Brittany," she mumbled against my neck as her hand slipped down my stomach until it found mine on her thigh and she interlaced our fingers before resting our hands back down on my chest, "I like the way you look at me, like I'm special."

"Special," I questioned, sarcastically, "You're Rachel Berry. Special doesn't even come close."

She laughed softly and gave my hand a squeeze. I didn't know what would happen with us. I didn't even know if there really was an 'us'. I had always hated thinking about the future, probably because I felt like I ruined it the day I decided to play dumb, but she made things different. I had no idea what was to come but in that moment it didn't matter. She was like a drug, as long as she was with me, as long as I was touching her, somehow she made me feel like everything was going to be alright, even if it wasn't.

Her breathing had steadied and it took a few seconds for it to register in my mind that she had fallen asleep. I made a silent prayer to any god that would listen to freeze time and never let this moment end as I closed my eyes and let sleep wash over me as well.

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><p>It was the strangest feeling, waking up with someone on top of you, surrounding you. The smell was the first thing I noticed, scents were somehow always the first thing I noticed, and all I could smell was vanilla, a bit of some kind of shampoo fragrance and something that could not be explained except to be called Rachel Berry. If I could smell one thing for the rest of my life I would definitely choose her. The room was dark, but the television still flickered with its volume muted. I was quite thankful about that, because it was past the time when normal programing played and had changed over to nudie films. I glanced away trying to see if I could find the remote without waking Rachel, knowing that watching pornographic films would not be beneficial at that moment, but to my dismay, the remote had made its way out of my reach near the foot of the bed.<p>

My movements had caused Rachel to stir and she sleepily lifted her head off my chest, wiping the drool from her cheek and my chest, before asking in a gravelly whisper, "What time is it?"

I looked over at the clock on my night table and whispered back, "Two AM."

Her half lidded eyes, opened wide as she scrambled up and off the bed, "Are you joking?"

She didn't wait for an answer as she ran into the bathroom and said hysterically, "My dads are going to murder me, I can't believe I fell asleep."

She grabbed her phone from her duffle bag and flipped it open, "Oh my god, they've been calling all night!"

I watched as she hit the speed dial number for her fathers and then closed the door to the bathroom, shutting me off from the conversation. As upset as Rachel was, I couldn't help but smile as I stretched out my stiff limbs on my bed and got up. I had just spent a good part of the night sleeping with Rachel, it couldn't get any better than that, even if it did have to end now, it was amazing waking up with her on top of me.

I walked into my closet, slipping off my clothes and changing into a pair of grey gym shorts and a light camisole, my pajamas, and Rachel came out of the bathroom at the same time I got back into the room. She was much more calm, but I could see the nervousness in her eyes and there was a slight blush on her cheeks.

"My dads said they don't want me driving so late when I'm tired and would like, as long as it is alright with you, if I would stay the night," she said, glancing over at the bed where we had been sleeping and then at the television, which was still playing sex films, which I had completely forgotten about. Her face went entirely red as she decided to focus on the carpet by her feet.

'Stupid Brittany' decided to make an appearance as I stared back at her and replied dumbly, "My bed is big."

Sure, she had been sleeping in my bed minutes prior, but it had just happened by accident, having her sleep in it for the rest of the night, seemed more exciting. Perhaps the porn playing in the background was having an effect as well.

"What I meant to say is that my bed is big enough to accommodate both of us," I replied, turning back to my bed and drawing the covers back.

She nodded while chewing nervously at her cheek and then reached her hands behind her to the middle of her back, before freezing the action and asking, "Do you mind if I-"

"Strip," I interrupted, realizing that she was unhooking her bra, from beneath her shirt, and my mouth went impossibly dry as I sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at her chest.

"-Take off my bra," she finished softly, chewing on her lip.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it didn't budge as I could only nod my response. I quickly glanced away, allowing her a bit of privacy, and grabbed the remote for the television and turned it off, leaving us almost in complete darkness, except for the glow of the moonlight shinning in through my window. I could barely see her anymore and that was better, because the less that I could see of her, the easier it would be to calm myself down and get through the night with her sleeping next to me.

I slipped into bed and laid down on my back, but when I felt her straddle me, I realized I should've either let her get in first so she didn't have to crawl over top of me, or moved to the other side of the bed. She hesitated on top of me and for a second I thought she might stay there, but then her weight was gone again as she slipped under the covers on the other side. I looked over at her and she was lying on her side, with her back towards me, so I turned over on my side with my back to her as well. If we just managed to stay like this all night everything would be fine, but suddenly I heard her stir from behind me and then could distinctly feel her ass pressed up against mine.

I tried to steady my breathing, but I couldn't, I felt like I had just run a marathon. I could feel the heat off her body and it felt good, but it wasn't enough. It was only going to be a distraction and keep me awake all night. More than anything I wanted to sleep with her like we had been before, with her on top of me, with our bodies pressed tightly together. I took a deep breath and turned over, curving my body to hers as I pressed myself to her back and let my arm fall around her, resting my hand on the mattress, afraid that if I put my hand on her it would scare her away somehow.

"Is this okay," I whispered huskily, my voice a mixture of nervousness and arousal.

She drew a circle on the back of my hand with the tip of her finger before covering it with her hand. She slowly dragged my hand along the mattress before taking it off the bed and slipping it under the bottom of her shirt, pressing it to her bare stomach and sighed, "It's perfect."

At that point I stopped breathing. Her skin was so smooth under my hand and the heat coming off of her was intense. I wanted to pull the blankets off of us, but there was no way I was moving my hand from her body. I wanted to explore her body with my hand, but her hand never moved from mine, holding it in place, and I decided it was probably for the best. As much as I wanted Rachel, I had an equal urge to take things slow with her, something I had never felt before.

"Night, Rach," I whispered, pressing my luck and placing an open mouth kiss to the nap of her neck, causing her to shudder against me.

"Night, Britt."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter took so long, but I got really busy with work and home life this week. I make up for it with this chapter being a little bit longer. Enjoy, and I hope to have another chapter this weekend, but I have a busy weekend with the Glee movie and family stuff so we'll see.

Please R&R and thank you to everyone who has!

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><p>Falling asleep the second time around was not as easy as the first. Somehow, I was a lot more nervous and excited and I felt like I had just drank five Red Bulls and then ran a marathon. I could not steady my breathing and I was afraid that Rachel would notice and be weirded out. I also felt like I was breathing too loud, the room was so quiet and all I could hear was my breathing and I wondered if that was all Rachel could hear too. Then my arm that was underneath her pillow fell asleep, but I was afraid that if I moved it an inch, somehow the mood in the room would change and maybe she would move away from me and then I wouldn't have her in my arms anymore. So instead, I tried to ignore it as it slowly began to get numb, and concentrated hard on taking slow deep breaths.<p>

I could tell Rachel was still awake too, because her breathing had no set rhythm and she would shift her hips against mine every so often as if trying to get comfortable, which only made my erratic breathing worse. Knowing that she was awake, I felt like I should say something to her and use this time to get to know her better, but I couldn't find the courage to break the silence. I felt like someone had put an ice cream cone in my hand and told me that I had to sit there and watch it melt, but I wasn't allowed to eat it.

I don't know when I finally drifted off to sleep, but when I woke up Rachel and I had both shifted in our sleep. I had rolled over onto my back and Rachel had followed with me almost to our exact position we had fallen asleep in the first time with her head on my chest. This time, however, Rachel had her knee pushed firmly against my centre and her hand was resting on one of my breasts. I tried to ignore the ache in my lower body that was effectively making my shorts wetter and wetter, but when she shifted lightly in her sleep and rubbed her knee against me, I had to bite back a moan and was certain I had soaked completely through. All I could do was pray that Rachel couldn't feel it along her leg, because it was a little embarrassing waking up so turned on, especially when it was with a girl that I really liked and didn't want to frighten away.

I noticed the sun poking through the blinds on my window and suddenly realized that it was Friday, not Saturday, which meant we had school today and possibly slept through some of it. I turned my head towards the night table, slowly to not wake Rachel up, but my clock was angled away from my bed and I couldn't see the time. I realized that my hand closest to the table was gripping Rachel's ass and as much as I wanted to leave it there forever, I knew I needed to see what time it was. I tried to pick it up off of her as carefully as I could, watching her face the entire time for the slightest indication that I was waking her up, but her breathing continued in rhythm and her face never even flinched. It wasn't until my hand was almost over the side of the bed that Rachel suddenly shifted again, letting out a soft rumbly hum as she lifted her hand from my breast and let it fall against mine. I froze for a minute, waiting to see if she would stir again and wake up, but when she didn't I slowly pulled my hand out from under hers and made another attempt to reach towards my clock. Once again she stirred before my hand could get there and again her hand fell on top of mine. I looked at our interlocked hands and then at Rachel, who was once again peaceful, and whispered, "You're awake, aren't you?"

A smile immediately crept across her lips, but she didn't open her eyes, say anything, or move again.

"Guess not," I said with an exaggerated sigh, "I'll just have to tickle you until you wake up."

With that last word, I tore my hand out from underneath hers and began to pinch and tickle her sides as she giggled and squirmed, trying to get away. She rolled off me and onto her back, but I just followed with her, not showing any mercy until finally she started screaming, "If you don't stop I might pee myself!"

I backed away from her, still laughing, and she followed with me, putting her head back down on my chest.

"Morning," I sighed blissfully, with a groggy half-smile.

"Mmmmm," she hummed back, turning her head so that her chin was resting on my chest and she was looking up at me.

"You have something against me checking the time," I asked and she made a sour face.

"Yes, because if I know we're late, I will be upset, but not knowing that we're late means I can lay here with you in blissful ignorance," she said and I understood her logic. Not knowing the time meant I could pretend it was still early and not worry about skipping classes, not that it ever really upset me when I skipped school. In elementary school I would've never even thought about missing classes, but since I became friends with Santana and Quinn, I tended to go where they went, and Santana didn't think twice about skipping school, and 'Stupid Brittany' was too ignorant to care. If we didn't have Glee practice after school today, I would've held her down and made her stay in bed with my for the rest of my day.

"You win," I said, tightening my arm around her waist.

"No," she sighed, taking my phone of the night table and handing it to me, "Now you got me thinking about it and I'm worried that we're missing school."

I pressed a button on my phone, illuminating the screen, and to my relief found that we still had twenty minutes before we had to get out of bed and start getting ready for school.

I gasped, "Crap, we've already missed our first two classes."

Her head shot up from my chest to check the time on my phone and I began to laugh once she saw the time and relaxed against me again. She glared at me, pressing a finger to my nose as she said in a low chastising voice, "Not nice."

"I'm a Cheerio, remember," I said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear causing her to duck her head and blush, "I'm not suppose to be nice."

She was silent for a moment, her face serious as she tugged on the strap of my camisole and then whispered so quietly I had to hold my breath to hear her, "What are we doing, Brittany?"

"Lying in bed and talking," I answered, dumbly. I knew that wasn't what she was asking and that she wanted me to tell her my feelings so she could analyze what was going on between us, but I honestly wasn't ready. I knew what I felt and how much my body craved her, even the briefest of touches, but I think I was a little weary of getting my heart ripped out and stomped on again. After Santana's complete one-hundred and eighty degree turn around before prom and shoving Karofsky in my face, it had damaged me a lot more than I allowed to show. I had to pretend to let it slide, to be Santana's best friend again, but really our relationship just got extremely confusing. Sometimes it seemed like she loved me and she would do anything for me, then other times she made it very clear that her image was more important.

I didn't know where I stood with Rachel yet. I wasn't ready to announce to the entire school that I liked her. I thought she was beautiful and extraordinary and I will admit that she was beginning to have a great power over me, but we hadn't even been hanging out for a week and everything was moving far too fast for me to keep up with it.

I watched Rachel's mouth open and pause and I knew she wanted to push me into talking, but instead she closed her mouth again and rested her chin back on my chest.

"I told you yesterday, I like you," I said softly, "But I'm having just as much trouble as you are trying to put the pieces together. You're a good friend, Rachel, and I really like spending time with you. I think we should just see what happens."

One corner of her mouth twitched into a brief, lopsided smile and then she was gone, taking the warmth of her body with her.

"Do you mind if I use your shower," she asked, bending down to retrieve her bra where she had left it on the floor the night before.

"Towels are under the sink," I nodded, watching her hips sway as she entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

I closed my eyes as I heard the shower turn on and listened to the water beating down against the bathtub. I heard the familiar screech of the shower curtain being pulled back against the rod and then a change in the frequency of the water hitting the tub, indicating Rachel was underneath the spray. I tried not to think about it, about Rachel being inside my shower, naked, using my body wash and my shampoo. _Naked_.

I sucked in a long breath, pushing the thoughts from my mind, and rolled lazily out of my bed. Dragging my feet into my closet, I stood there for a few minutes staring at the rows of clothing, but paused as I began to hear Rachel's light singing flowing out of the bathroom. I couldn't tell what she was singing, but the sound of her voice was enough to make me forget what I was doing in my closet and just stand there and listen. The singing stopped when the water shut off and I resumed my previous task of stripping off my pajamas and replacing them with a freshly washed Cheerios uniform.

I heard Rachel's bare feet pad against the carpet from the bathroom to my closet and looked over at the doorway to see Rachel with only a white towel wrapped around her body. Beads of water dripped from her wet hair, rolling down her back, shoulders and chest as she nervously looked down to make sure the towel hadn't slipped anywhere. I'm pretty sure my mouth had dropped open and I was well aware of my staring, but I couldn't shake the urge to rip that towel off her body.

"Can I borrow a shirt," she asked timidly, her eyes following the lines of clothes on the rack.

I blinked, snapping myself out of my daze, and said as I thumbed through my tops, "You know, I have to do twice as much laundry with you around."

"Don't you have a maid for that," she teased, running her fingers through her wet hair.

"Actually," I said, tugging a light green baby doll top off its hanger and tossing it at her, "I do."

She caught the shirt just before it landed on her head and made another quick check to make sure she hadn't fallen out of the towel anywhere before chuckling, "Can I bring my laundry over?"

"Of course," I said, grabbing a hair tie from on top of my chest of drawers and snapping it against my wrist, "Half of it is mine anyway."

She smiled and tried to glare at the same time, but I could tell that she really like that idea of wearing my clothes and having a part of me at her house. I didn't mind that thought either. Just as I was about to slip passed her to leave her to change in the closet, while I got my hair done in the bathroom, I realized that she would be wearing the same skirt as the day before, and while going commando in jeans wasn't comfortable it was still do-able. Going commando in a skirt, wasn't. I didn't want to embarrass her and point out her lack of clean undergarments so I caught her eye and opened my panty drawer, offering it to her without a word as she nodded with a blush and I left her alone to change.

I checked out my reflection in the mirror as I entered the bathroom and noted the terrible bed head I had going on. I ran my fingers through the tangled strands briefly as I grabbed my toothbrush out of its holder and began to brush my teeth, staring wistfully at the shower and watching the beads of water stream down the tiles. I could almost see Rachel's naked form standing under the stream and pressing her hands to the tiles and I had to shut my eyes tightly to stop myself from continuing the fantasy.

I finished brushing my teeth and began to brush my tangled hair. I noticed the brush was dampening my blonde locks and realized that Rachel had to have used it after her shower. The thought shouldn't have thrilled me as much as it did, and I had to quickly finish brushing to keep the ache between my legs from accelerating further. I used my fingers to brush my hair back and pull it into a neat ponytail at the back of my head, but Rachel appeared in the bathroom before I could put the tie around it. She lifted herself easily to sit on the bathroom counter, just off to the side of me, and watched me carefully.

"I like you better with your hair down," she commented softly, with a bashful smile.

I held my hair at the back of my head, but hesitated instead of using the tie, "I have Cheerios practice at lunch, I have to have it tied back."

Rachel shrugged and her eyes stayed steady on mine, "Tie it back on your spare before lunch."

I let my hair fall around my shoulders and shook it loose with my fingers before turning back towards her, "Better?"

"Yes," she smiled, her eyes following my hand as I picked up my light pink eyeliner.

She studied me as I applied my make up and when I was done I glanced over at her for a second before I turned back to my reflection and said, "You want me to do your make up?"

"Sure," she answered, ducking her head and tucking her hair behind her ears. I moved in front of her, bending my knees a bit to study the skin on her face and I could feel her eyes watching me nervously, hoping I would approve. I did.

"You have really nice skin," I commented, picking up my dark green eyeliner and a lighter shade of green eyeshadow. "Cover up is unnecessary, it would just clog your pores."

She beamed from the compliment, her eyes never leaving me curiously.

"Look up," I commanded and her eyes immediately shot towards the ceiling. I outlined her eyes with a thin line using the eyeliner pencil, brushing the fingers of my free hand innocently against the inside of her bare knee. Her eyes quickly shot back down to look at me, but I didn't let my features change as I repeated, "Look up."

Her eyes stayed on me for another second before she looked back up again and my face was so close to hers I could smell her minty breath. My toothbrush had not been wet when I used it, so I knew she couldn't have used mine. She must've heard me sniff because she answered my silent question, "I finger brushed."

I backed my head away from her, studying the lines I had just put on her eyes while my hand reached down between her legs and she let in a sharp gasp. I paused, raising an eyebrow at her and almost laughed as I gripped the handle of the drawer between her knees and pulled it open enough to bump into the backs of her thighs. When she realized what I was doing she let out the breath and spread her legs so I could open the drawer between them. I fished through the drawer full of unopened toothbrushes until I finally found a pink one and pulled it out. I noticed Rachel's stunned face at the amount of toothbrushes I had and I said, "Dr. Carl wouldn't let me leave until I took a bag full."

She just gave a slight nod and I ripped the plastic off the fresh brush and dropped it into the toothbrush holder with mine, "There, mine's the green one and yours is the pink one. So you will never have to worry about finger brushing when you're here again."

She smiled for a second but it disappeared when she stared at the third toothbrush, "Whose is the red one?"

I lightly gripped her chin between my thumb and index finger, turning her head to face me again as I continued to blend the eyeshadow into the eyeliner to soften it, "Santana."

Her eyes immediately turned on mine and her posture slumped in disappointment, "Oh."

"Close your eyes," I demanded, trying to take her mind off my response. It had been a long time since Santana had been over to use it and I had no plans on inviting her for a sleepover, but it was still difficult to toss it in the garbage, even if I did have five other red toothbrushes to replace it with if needed. Her eyes closed and I finished feathering the eyeshadow into the eyeliner and her skin, giving her soft but bold green look. I was careful not to put too much and made the colour thin around her eyes so it would still be casual and wouldn't take away from her beautiful features.

"You're not making me look like a hooker, are you," she asked nervously, her eyes opening again as I backed away and made sure both of her eyes looked equal.

I raised an eyebrow at her and grabbed a light peach lip gloss, "Why would I do that?"

"I've had bad past experiences with makeovers," she sighed, relaxing her mouth as I spread the gloss onto her lips. I would've responded, maybe questioned what had happened in the past, but I was too distracted with the way the gloss spread so smoothly across her full lips making them look even tastier. I swiped the stick across her lips about five times more than necessary, mesmerized as I watched them shimmer, but she made no indication that she was uncomfortable. Just the opposite. That same index finger that stroked my thigh the other day in the bathroom, made its appearance again as I suddenly felt it begin to brush short, light strokes against my hipbone. I felt an electrifying shiver shoot through my body, waking me from my trance on her lips and I took a step back, clearing my throat.

"All done," I croaked, through my dry throat and watched as Rachel bounced off the counter to inspect my work in the mirror.

"Wow," she said, turning her face from one side to the other before glancing at me through the mirror. "I look like a movie star."

"You look like Rachel Berry," I corrected her, tossing the container of lip gloss onto the counter, "Broadway superstar."

Her smile grew and her eyes fell back on her own reflection as I grabbed my brush and began to brush through her hair. I turned her around to face me, brushing her centre part down so the her hair fell in her face, then gave her a crooked side part. I put a small amount of gel in my hands and brushed it through her bangs, tucking them underneath her longer hair so that they were out of sight.

"Perfect," I said and let her turn around to look at herself in the mirror again, "We should probably head to school."

When I didn't get an answer from Rachel I looked over at her and found her completely entranced with herself and I couldn't stop the laugh that erupted from inside me.

Yeah, that was Rachel Berry alright.

* * *

><p>The school day dragged on and I spent the majority of it day dreaming about a certain petite brunette, possibly in the Cheerios uniform that I was wearing and she may have been tied to my bed. Maybe.<p>

We ignored each other, for the most part, in school, but as I was sitting in the choir room before Glee club started, Rachel walked straight towards me and took the seat beside me, shuffling the chair closer to mine and looking like she had a lot to say. It was still early and the only people that were in the room were Mike, Tina and Quinn, but I knew everyone else would be filing in soon and having Rachel this close was making me nervous.

"Why haven't you told anyone that I'm tutoring you, yet," she demanded in a low voice, leaning in towards me so no one else would hear her, "It doesn't make sense that you would agree to our arrangement and not immediately tell people about the key part. You do recall that the point of all this was to allow for your grades to improve, right?"

I had been thinking about that, knowing that in order for our entire plan to work I had to tell people Rachel was tutoring me, but it was a lot harder than it sounded. Especially now that I had all these deeper feelings for her.

I noticed Quinn eyeing us while pretending to read her book and I leaned in to Rachel and whispered, "I can't talk to you about this here."

I didn't wait for her to reply and stood up from my seat, walking to the back row of chairs and taking a seat beside Quinn, knowing that Rachel was watching me the entire time.

"What's going on with you two," Quinn asked, her tone more curious than demanding which caught me off guard.

I shook my head and answered dimly, "I don't even know what you're talking about, Quinn."

"Yes, you do," she whispered, closing her book and glancing down at Rachel, "All of a sudden Man Ha- Rachel, is acting like your new bestest little sister. Did you save her life or something?"

Quinn had been a lot nicer since her break down in New York and I knew Quinn would react to the news better than Santana would, so I decided that it was time to come out and tell her.

"Rachel said she'd tutor me," I shrugged, trying to appear like it wasn't a big deal, "It's actually pretty interesting, like did you know that our country has a president and not a king? I'm pretty sure Lord Tubbington is an illegal immigrant."

"She's tutoring you," Quinn questioned, trained to ignore my dim-witted remarks, "What's she getting out of it?"

That question never occurred to me, but thankfully while I was trying to think of a plausible answer, Santana took the seat next to me and interrupted us, "Did you guys notice Lisa isn't wearing her Cheerios uniform today? What the hell is that about?"

"I was trying to slushie myself but I got scared so I slushied her instead," I admitted, staring off towards the front of the room.

"Britt, why would you want to slushie yourself," Santana asked in confusion, folding her arms across her chest.

"I wanted to know what it felt like," I shrugged as if it was a completely normal response.

I saw Santana open her mouth to say something else, but Mr. Schue called our attention to the front of the class, forcing Santana to swallow her words.

"Mr. Schue," Rachel said, quickly raising from her seat and turning to face the club, "Before you start I would like to make an announcement."

"Okay, Rachel," Mr. Schue sighed, but held out his hand in a gesture to show that the floor was hers.

"To the person who keeps putting crumpled up paper stars in my locker, I understand your metaphor but know that I will not let anyone stand in my way and prevent me from achieving my super-stardom goals," Rachel said in one breath, holding her head high to symbolize her strength.

"They wouldn't fit through the vent holes so I had to crumple them a bit," Finn said quietly, his goofy grin plastered across his face.

The confidence in her body fell, along with her complacent smile and she quickly took her seat beside him muttering an embarrassed, "Oh."

It was at that point when I realized I had no idea if Rachel and Finn were once again dating in their on-again off-again, destructive relationship. The way he was looking at her told me they were definitely on, but the way that she wasn't meeting his eyes told another story. I wasn't normally one to get overly jealous, but if I had a chainsaw at that moment, I would totally go all Texas Massacre on his stupid golden boy ass. Even more so as I watched his hand cover her knee and give it a squeeze.

"Britt, seriously what is your deal," Santana whispered to me and I assumed I was making a face or something.

"I can't believe you actually had sex with him," I replied, it had been the first thought that had came into my mind.

"Like you're one to talk," Santana snapped back.

"Okay, well if that's all the announcements, we can start rehearsal," Mr. Schue spoke up, walking over to the white board and we all watched as he began to write.

"This weeks assignment is," he said, allowing a pause for him to finish writing it down and then continued, "love songs."

Most of the others groaned, Rachel clapped like she always did, and everybody else just stayed quiet.

"You guys are going to partner up, which will be decided by the fates, and look into each other's eyes as you sing them a sweet love song," Mr. Schue said and then held up two hats, "I have the boys in one hat and the girls in the other and-"

"Uh, Mr. Schue," Kurt interrupted, glaring at him.

"Yes, Kurt," Mr. Schue called out, putting the hats back down on the piano.

"I don't think it's fair that the songs must be sung between a boy and a girl. You're purposely secluding the gay students," Kurt commented with his usual air of superiority.

"You are the only gay student," Puck pointed out, rolling his eyes.

I looked over at Santana, who purposefully refused to look back at me and then I let my eyes fall onto Rachel, who was fidgeting with the hem of my green shirt.

"No, Kurt's right," Mr. Schue sided, dumping the contents from one of the hats into the other and shaking them up, "Times have changed and we all need to start being a little more open. Alright so people come on up and pick your names."

While I waited for my turn to go up and pick a name, Mike got picked to be with Quinn and Puck got picked to be with Kurt. I didn't know who I was hoping for, but I was really hoping that it wouldn't be Rachel. I couldn't possibly sing a love song to her, in front of the Glee club, when I had these real feelings going on. What if I broke down and confessed something I wasn't ready to admit yet?

So when I got up to the piano and reached into the hat all I could think of was _please please please not Rachel, anyone but Rachel_.

I pulled the small piece of paper from the hat, holding my breath as I unfolded it and read the name. I was so shocked I started speaking before I even knew I was doing it, "Are you kidding me?"

Realizing I had spoken out loud I looked up and noticed everyone staring at me and waiting curiously to find out who I picked.

"Rachel," I sighed, walking back to my seat and trying to ignore the hurt look on Rachel's face.

Santana ended up with Finn, leaving Mercedes and Tina together and nobody was particularly happy with their partners.

"Congrats, Mr. Schue," Santana growled with her usual snarkiness, "I believe you've managed to make all of us feel awkward."

"I'm okay," Quinn shrugged, watching the screen on Mike's PSP as he showed her his new video game. Mike gave a nod of his equal approval causing Tina to glare at him.

"No offence, T," Mercedes spoke up, turning to Tina, "but I'm probably going to laugh through all this."

"I'm with you on that," Tina agreed, still glaring at Mike who was so caught up in his game he hadn't noticed.

"Sorry guys, but the fates have spoken," Mr. Schue said with no empathy, "I expect you all to be here next Friday ready to sing your heart out to your partner."

"Mr. Schue, this isn't even fair," Puck whined, "I can't sing a love song to a dude, I'm gonna lose major stud points for this."

"Yeah, Mr. Schue," Finn joined in, "I think you should just let us pick our own partners and I pick Rachel."

I saw Quinn look up from the video game and roll her eyes, "I can't believe I actually dated him. Twice."

"Ten years from now you can chalk it up to teenage stupidity," Santana reasoned, before turning towards me, "Hey Britt, remember that time we went on a date with Finn?"

"No," I answered, pretending to think back, "I remember the time you and me went on a date and Finn paid."

Santana just shook her head and didn't respond.

* * *

><p>I went to my locker when Glee ended to grab my stuff and Santana stopped me.<p>

"Quinn tells me Rachel's tutoring you," she accused, her tone a lot more threatening than Quinn's had been.

"So," I said drawing out the word, a little annoyed at the way she was talking to me.

"So why didn't you ask me to tutor you," she demanded, "You know my grades are kick ass."

"Because when you say that you'll help me study we end up having sex all night," I replied, truthfully.

"Whatever, if you wanna hang out with that dwarf I'm not going to stop you," she growled and pushed past me as she stormed away.

I guess that was easier than I expected, although I knew I hadn't heard the end of it.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Whoohoo another longish chapter and I'm getting it in before the weekend is done as promised! Next chapter will be up sometime this week, _possibly_ tomorrow, but I make no promises. Enjoy and as usual please R&R!

* * *

><p>"So are you going to tell me why you haven't told anyone that I'm tutoring you," Rachel asked, sitting down on my bed as we got back into my room.<p>

"I told them," I responded, dropping my school bag on the floor and closing the door.

"Told who," she perked up, eyes wide as she waited for my response.

"Quinn and Santana," I answered simply, slumping down on the bed beside her and then lying all the way back, leaving my feet firmly planted on the floor.

She turned towards me, gazing down with so much curiosity I thought she might explode, "And what did they say?"

"They were ecstatic," I replied sarcastically, "They want us all to be the best of friends."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "I just meant, was it as bad as you so obviously expected it to be?"

"No," I admitted, watching her slight smile, "Quinn seemed to accept it without trouble, but Santana is a whole other story. She stormed away, but I know her and I know that's not the end of it. She's pissed."

"It's just tutoring," Rachel said, turning over to lay on her stomach beside me, resting her chin in her hands.

"Santana really doesn't like you," I confessed. I had never known why, but Santana had always had such a deep hatred for the future starlet. I just assumed she was harbouring some kind of deeper feelings for her that she really hated herself for having. No one hates someone that much for no reason. It was just an assumption though, and I had absolutely no basis for it. She had never admitted anything or done anything to prove it, but it was just a sort of feeling I got.

"I don't like her much either," Rachel shrugged matter-of-factly, "Well I'm glad you can finally start improving your grades, especially since we have that math test on Monday."

"Yeah, perfect timing," I breathed, staring up at the ceiling and folding my hands behind my head.

"So love songs," she said, trying to be nonchalant, but I could tell she was just as uneasy with the new Glee assignment as I was, "Did you want to practice?"

_God no_. If I started singing some sappy love song to her, there could be tears and very uncool confessions. I had no idea how I was going to get through it next Friday, but I definitely wanted to put that thought off as long as possible.

"It's not a duet, Rachel," I reasoned, "We're singing a song to our partner so there's nothing to practice."

"I know, but-," she started but I quickly interrupted her with something else that had been on my mind since Glee.

"Are you still dating Finn," I blurted out, I needed to know.

Her eyes shot towards me, "No, we broke up a long time ago. Why?"

"He's putting stars in your locker," I said bitterly and the amount of jealousy that dripped from each word was uncharacteristic for me.

"What I've learned about Finn," Rachel said, "is that he always wants what he can't have. I'm tired of playing games with him."

"You shouldn't let anyone treat you the way that he did," I said, my eyes staring back at her so that she could see how much I meant it.

The room was silent for a few minutes, which felt relaxing to me, but was probably awkward to her. Finally she broke the silence and asked, "Where's your family?"

"What do you mean," I said, tearing my eyes from the ceiling to gaze over at her.

"They're never here," Rachel said with amazement, "My dads are always home and always curious as to what I'm doing. I can hardly breathe sometimes. I've been here everyday this week and I have yet to meet your parents or your sister."

"My dad's married to his work, if he's not at the office he's away on a business trip somewhere, my mother works a lot too but spends the rest of her time either at the country club or volunteering at some sort of charity and my sister is away at college," I replied blandly, I wasn't too fond about talking about my family.

"So, you pretty much have the house to yourself all the time," Rachel said and I was hoping there were some naughty thoughts being implied, but was doubtful, "Do you ever get lonely?"

I chewed nervously on my cheek, studying her concerned face before turning my attention back towards the ceiling and deciding that she was probably the only person I could really open up to about everything.

"Sure," I sighed, fixing my eyes straight in front of me, "It's definitely hard waking up and coming home to an empty house. Sometimes I really need someone around and there's no one here to help me through the tough times."

"Did you ever think that maybe your decision to take on a whole different personality might have something to do with your craving for attention," she asked thoughtfully.

"You sound like my mother," I groaned, I wanted a friend, not a shrink, "Please don't try to analyze me, I get enough of that from her."

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes filled with regret, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't," I said, removing one of my hands from under my head and taking hers in mine, "I've just had a lot of experience with psychiatrists, with my mom being one, and I would much rather have you as a friend."

"I'm not trying to be your psychiatrist," she said, watching the pad of her thumb smooth over the skin on the back of my hand, "I'm just trying to understand you."

"Me too," I admitted, "When I figure it out, you will be the first to know."

She smiled as her eyes stayed on our joined hands, "Didn't your parents say anything when you suddenly started failing all your classes? What did they think about this sudden change?"

"Well," I started, inhaling deeply, "first my mother decided I was suffering from a form of PTSD, brought on by the bullying that I had gone through at school, and now she's convinced that some kind of highly traumatic event caused me to regress to the age of a small child and I have blocked the event from my memory."

There was a heavy silence that fell on the room before I quickly changed the subject, "So what's it like in the Berry household? I mean, being the only girl in the house has to feel a little odd, right?"

"It is sometimes," she admitted, "I love my dads very much, but they don't have all the insight into the womanly issues that I am facing. I don't really have any friends either, so I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to. I tried to talk to Ms. Pillsbury about somethings, but most of the time I leave her office feeling more confused than when I went in."

_Womanly issues_. Well I definitely was a woman, or girl anyway, and if she was letting me spill my guts out to her, than it would only be fair if I allowed her to do the same.

"I could try to help you out with stuff," I said, sounding a little more shy than I usually do.

Her eyes shot to mine, wide with fear and her face closely resembling a deer caught in the head lights. She quickly glanced away, her eyes darting all over my room as if they couldn't find something to settle on until she finally looked down at the comforter and began to pick at the material again. She was quiet for a moment and then she roughly smoothed out the bed spread with the palm of her hand and said, "I don't know, sometimes I just don't feel... right."

I raised an eyebrow, rolling over onto my side towards her and resting my head on my hand, "You don't feel right?"

She was biting her lip with her eyebrows knitted together, the perfect picture of fear, so I gave her hand an encouraging squeeze and that brought her eyes to mine again.

"Everyone around me is having sex," she whispered her voice sounding so small, "and I'm terrified."

"Terrified," I repeated it as as question, "What are you afraid of?"

"The pain for one thing," she said softly, "But more than that, I'm afraid of trusting someone so much to let them take that part of me away. Everyone I've dated has found a way to hurt me somehow and what if I decide that I've found the right person and give them my body and soul and everything that I have and they turn around and crush it? I don't want my first time to ever be some accident when I had too many wine coolers. I want it to be special."

This was all beyond me. I had never second guessed my first time when I was fourteen and Hayden Myers took me up to his bedroom at his fifteenth birthday party. Sex never really meant anything to me. It was more like something to do when you were bored or just something to make you feel good.

I took a deep breath and sighed, "I guess you can't really know, but I think you just have to put your faith in your heart and let it be the one to tell you when the time is right. If you're second guessing whether you want to do it or not, then you probably shouldn't do it."

She stared at me for a moment and I think she was still getting used to the idea that I could answer questions without involving rainbows and unicorns, and then she smiled, "You don't think I'm weird for waiting?"

"Of course not, Rach," I smiled with her, "I think you're weird because you think sweaters with animals are stylish."

She shoved me lightly and chuckled and when she was quiet again, I risked my next question, "So how does it happen?"

"What," she asked, but I could tell she knew what I had meant.

"Your first time," I replied, my voice low and I knew my eyes were beginning to darken, "You must've thought about it. What your perfect first time would be like."

Her hand tensed against mine and then relaxed as her thumb continued its strokes on the back of my hand, "Nighttime, with the room dark except for the moonlight and a few flickering candles. I imagine being carried into the room and lowered onto a bed full of rose petals. Soft music playing in the background as they lower themselves on top of me, holding me tightly and surrounding me in their embrace. It would be slow and romantic and I imagine myself holding on to them so hard because in that moment it would feel like if I let go, the whole world would end."

At some point while she was speaking I had stopped breathing and the sudden intake of air I was forced to make surprised both of us. I could feel my face growing hot as I began to blush, because listening to her talk and the way she had described everything sounded so good. The fact that she had not used any definitive pronouns was not lost on me and I hoped that it was for my benefit, letting me know that the other person in her fantasy did not have to be male.

I swallowed hard, resisting the urge to pull her against me and kiss her and mumbled dryly, "We should probably start dancing."

She nodded, slipping silently off the bed and retreating to the bathroom to change.

* * *

><p>The way her hips swayed to the beat had more than improved since our last dance lesson and I really wanted to give the credit to our little grinding session. All the movements I gave her, yet still quite basic, she executed with ease and looked much more comfortable doing them. I couldn't help staring as her hips swayed from side to side and she popped her hips to the beat, but after dancing for over an hour, we were both sweating hard.<p>

She pulled at the front of her beater, trying to fan herself off and an idea popped into my head, "Why don't we cool off in the pool?"

Her face instantly brightened but it was short lived as she sighed, "I don't have my bathing suit here."

"What a surprise," I laughed leading her into my closet, "Rachel Berry needs to borrow more of my clothes."

I opened a drawer containing about twenty-five different bathing suits and selected a bikini with different shades of green stripes for myself, then found a hot pink one for her. I held out the bikini towards her and she stared at it hesitantly, looking at the strings dangling from between my fingers. I didn't understand what the problem was at first, but a second later and I realized what she was thinking.

"Sorry," I said, looking back at the bathing suits in my drawer, "I've never been the type to wear a one piece."

She slowly took the pink material from my hands and looked it over, "I guess it will be alright."

"You can change in the bathroom," I said, shooing her away with my hand and already pulling my shirt over my head. Modesty had never really been an issue for me. I had a great body and I knew it and I didn't care who else saw it.

She blushed as I began to unhook my bra and quickly left the closet before I had anymore skin revealed.

My bikini showed quite a bit off, but it wasn't fastened with strings like the one I had given Rachel. The cups were triangular shaped and it had a strap that went around my neck and another around the middle of my back. The bottoms weren't anything fancy and just resembled a pair of panties. It was my favourite suit though, because I loved the different shades of green stripes, and how it showed off my well toned body, especially my abs, which I have always been quite proud of.

I waited patiently in my room for Rachel, always so slow when changing, and finally she opened the door with a big white towel wrapped around her body and a blush that matched the colour of the string I could see tied around her neck. I was a little disappointed that she had covered herself up, but I knew that if she wanted to get into the water, the towel was going to be coming off soon enough. I didn't miss her eyes travelling the length of my body and I could see her swallow thickly when her eyes reached the parts of me that were barely covered. She was breathing hard, her eyes dark, and I couldn't believe that I could visibly arouse her like this, without even touching her. I couldn't let her keep looking at me like that, or I would do something that I would regret later, so I quickly grabbed a towel from under the sink and took hold of her hand, leading her down the stairs to my backyard where the pool beckoned for me.

Tossing the towel onto a deckchair, I motioned for her to do the same, but her fingers clutched desperately at the towel.

"What's the matter," I asked when her hold wouldn't let up.

"I feel a lot naked," she said, pulling the towel out an inch so she could look down at herself.

"If you're wearing the bathing suit then you're not naked," I laughed, "You can't swim with the towel on."

She chewed on the side of her cheek for an achingly long time as I tried not to seem too eager to see her in the bikini, but inside, I was going crazy at the thought. Sure I'd seen some skin every once in awhile, but this was going to be a lot of skin all at once and my whole body was beginning to tingle. Finally, she dropped her eyes shyly at the ground and slowly removed the towel, dropping it on the chair as she tried to use her small arms to cover herself.

She was breathtaking, literally breathtaking. She was tanned all over, no tan-lines in sight, affirming my belief that it was natural, and it was all smooth from her toes to her head. The bottoms were low on her hips, so low I could dissolve her 'Treasure Trail' nickname once and for all and I tried very hard not to notice the subtle outline of her sex. I slowly gazed up her body, probably drooling by this point, past her trim waist to her small breasts. The material of the cups sagged slightly from not being filled entirely, but I could still see the faintest outline of her hardened peaks through it.

I was wet, I could feel it on my thighs and I knew that it was not going to be something I could easily cover up when wearing a tiny bikini, so without hesitation, I turned and dove into the pool. Even the cool water was not enough to quell my arousal and when I came back up for air, I found myself swiftly turning back around to get another eyeful of Rachel's body.

Rachel tentatively dipped her toe into the water, testing its temperature, before finally plugging her nose and jumping in after me.

We swam around lazily for a bit, she had relaxed after the water hid her body from view, talking about meaningless things like the math test on Monday and the endless supply of sweater vests Mr. Schue owned, until she looked over at me with an eyebrow raised and a competitive gleam in her eyes, "Wanna race?"

"Only if you don't cry when I win," I joked back, gripping the side of the pool with my hand and pressing my toes against the wall for leverage.

"You're going to be the one who's crying," she challenged, mimicking my position.

I stared at her hard for a moment and then screamed out, "Go!"

I used my powerful legs to press off against the wall as hard as I could, sending myself rocketing towards the other end of the pool and then began to complete my strokes when I began to lose the momentum. I could see Rachel out of the corner of my eye and she was almost the entire length of my body behind me, but once we started our strokes, she suddenly picked up a massive amount of speed and before I knew it she was passing me. As we neared the other side of the pool, I realized she was going to win and I could not let that happen, so instead, I propelled myself towards her, locking my arms around her waist and pulling her back.

She struggled against me, trying to break free from my grasp and screamed, "No fair, cheater!"

I only laughed in response, then ducked under the water, grabbing on to her hips before jumping back up and lifting her into the air, tossing her towards the deep end. When she came back up she was glaring while trying to rub the chlorine water from her eyes and I suddenly noticed there wasn't any pink ties around her neck anymore. She noticed at the same time because she panicked and through her arms across her chest, under the water, and screamed a high pitched, "Don't you dare look Brittany Pierce!"

I spun around immediately, giving her the privacy to find the top of her bathing suit, but secretly hoping the pool had swallowed it up. I heard soft splashing from behind me as she frantically searched for the top and I suddenly felt something brush against my arm. Looking down at it, I realized that somehow her top had managed to drift to me and I fished it out of the water. I played with the idea of hiding it, just so I could get a glimpse of her breasts, but finally decided against it and held it in my hand, high above my head as I said, "Found it."

I heard her sigh of relief as the soft splashing neared me and she pressed a hand on my shoulder for leverage to reach my hand. It never occurred to me to bend my arm so she could easily reach it and suddenly I felt two soft mounds brush against my bare back as she grabbed the bathing suit from my hand and a soft moan from her lips, informing me that yes I definitely just felt her bare breasts on my back. I began to clench and unclench my fists desperately trying to suppress the need to turn around and take her. Her hand left my shoulder and a few seconds went by before she said with as much arousal in her voice as I felt, "Can you tie me up?"

My mind immediately went back to the fantasy I had conjured up earlier that day of her tied to my bed and I had to consciously keep myself from moaning. My heart was thundering in my ears as I slowly turned around, half expecting to see her naked in front of me, but she was turned in the other direction, her hands holding the cups to her breasts and her back completely bare.

I couldn't speak, my mouth was too dry and the only thought in my head was _oh my god_ over and over and over again. I closed the space between us and tried to steady my breathing as I took hold of the ties for around her neck in my fingers and began to tie them together as best as I could with my shaking fingers. When it was tied, I let my knuckles brush down her smooth skin enjoying the feel underneath, until I finally found the ties for around her back laying on the surface of the water. Rachel's breathing was uncontrolled again and I noticed that when my fingers brushed her sides she would let in sharp gasps of breath, which sent shivers all through my body.

When I finally had the second set of ties fastened, I refused to let that be the end. I pressed my palms to her shoulder blades and began to knead the skin with my fingers. She let out another soft moan and her hands reached back and grabbed on to my hips, pulling my hips flush against her ass under the water. The contact brought a moan to my lips and I leaned my head down to gently bite the flesh on her shoulder.

"Brittany," she moaned as I sucked on the spot. The sound of my name through her moan was enough to release her shoulder and spin her around so she was facing me. I kept my eyes locked on hers as I backed her up against the side of the pool, pinning her wrists up on either side of her as I leaned down towards her lips. Her body was pressed tightly against me and I could feel her breasts pushing against mine as she struggled to breathe in a natural rhythm. Her hot breath brushed against my lips as I hesitated, hovering above hers, savouring the moment when I would finally know what it was like to kiss Rachel Berry.

Suddenly, just as I was about to capture her lips in a deep kiss, a shadow crept over us and a familiar feminine voice said, "Brittany, dear, who's your friend?"

I didn't move right away, still debating whether to complete the kiss or not, but finally decided that having my first kiss with Rachel in front of my mother wasn't ideal I sighed and took a step back from her, releasing her wrists.

"Mom," I said, looking up at her from her perch at the side of the pool, "this is Rachel Berry, from Glee club."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Pierce," Rachel said nervously, her face red from the embarrassment of being caught. I wanted to tell her that this would not phase my mother, she had definitely seen much worse, but my mother squatted down at the edge of the pool and shook hands with her, causing Rachel to relax a little.

"It's very nice to meet you dear," my mother smiled warmly at her, "It's not very often that Brittany lets me meet her friends."

I wrapped my arms around Rachel's waist and leant my chin on her shoulder, hoping my mother would get the hint and leave us alone, but my mother seemed to be quite intrigued with her and wasn't finished getting to know her.

"So what are your plans after high school, Rachel," she asked, genuinely interested.

"Mom, do you really need to interrogate her," I said, rolling my eyes and feeling Rachel's hands begin rub up and down my forearms underneath the water. Even through the cool water, her body was radiating such an intense heat against mine I was almost ready to yell at my mother to leave us be.

"It's alright," Rachel smiled her big bright show smile, "I hope to get into Juilliard in New York and study vocal arts. When I graduate I am heading straight to Broadway, where I hope to have a long and quite fulfilling career."

"Broadway," my mother repeated, impressed, "That's a very ambitious goal."

"You haven't heard her sing," I added, tightening my arms around her, "She's amazing."

"It's true," Rachel nodded, her modesty gone, "I was born to be a star."

"Always follow your dreams, my dear," my mother said wisely to her, "If Broadway is where your heart is, don't stop until you get there."

"Thank you, Mrs. Pierce," Rachel beamed, "I will."

"Do me a favour, Rachel," my mother added, standing up.

"Sure," Rachel said in such a way that I could see how much she longed for a female role model in her life.

"You seem like a good girl, Rachel," she said, placing her well manicured hands on her hips and then glancing over at me, "Keep my daughter out of trouble. She looks like she will listen to what you say."

Rachel blushed and her body leaned further back into mine and standing with her like that was really becoming quite dangerous, "Of course, Mrs. Pierce. You can count on me."

My mother turned her back to us as she began to walk towards the house and then called back, "Don't let yourselves prune, now."

After my mother was safely back inside the house, I felt Rachel's hand wrap around my wrist and pulled my hand out of the water.

"Are you pruning," she giggled, and I used my free hand to pinch her side. She bucked against me, trying to squirm away from the attack, but I stopped the assault to hold her close because I wasn't ready to lose the feel of her against me, "Your mother's quite nice."

"Only because she's not your mother," I sighed rolling my eyes. It took a moment for me to remember that Rachel didn't really have a mother and that probably wasn't the best comment to make, "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Although I do miss having a female role model," Rachel interrupted before I could finish my apology, "I have two parents and that's a lot more than some. It's alright, Brittany. You don't have to feel awkward about saying things like that."

God I loved listening to her talk. I knew lots of people found her annoying, but I loved the sound of her voice and I especially loved it when she rambled on about things. My mind had gone blank, listening to the sound of her so close to my ear while her body was against mine, and I said in a monotone very 'Stupid Brittany' airhead voice, "I like the way you speak."

I finally recollected myself after we had stood in the water without moving for a few minutes longer and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling away.

"We should get out," I said, moving towards the side of the pool and pulling myself up on the edge, "My fingers are all wrinkly."

I heard her giggle as she followed me out of the pool and I handed her her towel before taking mine and beginning to dry myself off. She wasn't concerned with covering herself anymore and instead raised one of her feet to rest on the seat of the chair as she dried off her leg. I tried to pretend I wasn't staring as I watched her towel off her body and suddenly I blurted out, "Come out with me tomorrow."

She glanced over her shoulder at me with a stunned look on her face, obviously catching her off guard.

"In public," she questioned, still in shock.

"Yes," I nodded boldly.

"Together," she asked again as if she still couldn't believe what I was asking.

"Yes," I said.

"Aren't you afraid someone might see us," she asked, turning around to face me and I couldn't stop my eyes from looking over her body once again.

I swallowed thickly and whispered, "When I'm with you, I'm not afraid of anything."

She smiled and took a step into me, resting her fingers against my stomach as she leaned her head against my chest, "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," I said softly as I wrapped my arms around her smaller frame, "I'll pick you up at nine PM."

She chuckled lightly against me, "I knew that driver's license wasn't a fake."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Sorry for the extra day this took. I accidentally fell asleep when I got home from work last night and ended up sleeping all night. Here's the next chapter anyways. It's not quite as long as the last couple, but it's still one of the longer ones. The next chapter is probably going to be another shortish one, hopefully up in the next couple days. Thanks for reading and thank you so much for everyone who has taken the time to review! It fuels my writing more than you could know!

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><p>I killed the engine on my red Lexus SC, a present for my sixteenth birthday that hardly ever got used, and took a deep breath as I stepped out of the car. My body was still aching all over from the three hour Saturday Cheerios practice that afternoon, in which Coach Sylvester successfully made three Cheerios pass out from exhaustion. I wasn't sure if I would ever get complete feeling back in my arms and legs.<p>

I looked up at the two story Berry family house with a little more apprehension than I had anticipated. It hadn't occurred to me that picking Rachel up potentially meant meeting her dads, which I had yet to have the pleasure. From what I knew, no one at school had actually met her dads yet, with the exception of Finn, who apparently created a very bad first impression. I really wanted them to like me. It was clear that would be important if I wanted to easily carry on a relationship with her and the way I had heard Finn speak of her parents, they were overbearing beasts. But Finn was an idiot and it wouldn't surprise me if he did something extremely stupid to set them off.

I stood on the porch, staring at the door for a couple minutes before finally taking a deep breath and pushing the doorbell. It wasn't so much of a chime than a song that I could hear playing from inside the house and somehow it made it feel more welcoming.

A very tall dark skinned man answered the door and it took me a second to remember that one of her fathers was black. His smile was large like Rachel's and even though she obviously was not biologically his, I was sure that he was the one who had taught her to smile.

"Tall, blond, looks like a model," he listed off the characteristics as if that was the description of me he was given, "You must be Brittany."

_Had Rachel told him that? Does she really think I look like a model?_

He extended his hand towards me and I took it, noticing that mine almost completely disappeared in his enormous hands. I looked like a dwarf compared to him, and being a little over five-feet eight-inches, I wasn't used to feeling so short. I imagined Rachel must've felt like Thumbelina next to him.

"Yeah, I'm Brittany," I managed to say, still in awe at his size, then managed to shake myself out of my haze and add, "You must be one of the Mr. Berry's."

His smile never faltered as he released my hand and stepped out of the doorway, extending his arm to allow me in, "Yes, but call me Leroy. We're not very much into formalities here."

"Leroy," I nodded with certainty, trying it out, but finding it awkward to call an adult by their first name like that. Seconds later and the other Mr. Berry stepped out from the kitchen wearing a 'Kiss the Cook' apron over top of his dress pants and shirt, and wiping his hands on a tea towel.

Extending his hand to me with another smile, although it was not comparable to the other two occupants in the family it was still very welcoming, and said, "I would be the other Mr. Berry, but you can call me Hiram."

"Nice to meet you," I replied, offering another smile as I shook his hand as well.

"Rachel's still getting ready," Leroy smirked, glancing over at his partner.

"I think she's changed, what is it Leroy, twelve times now," Hiram chuckled as Leroy nodded to him.

"Don't tell her that," I heard Rachel's mortified call coming from somewhere upstairs.

"She's dressed casual, Rach," Leroy called up to her and I couldn't help but look down self-consciously at the jeans and t-shirt combination I had thrown on, wondering if maybe I should be taking her to something more formal or at least brought her flowers. I heard the soft patter of footsteps running across the upstairs portion of the house and Leroy leaned in towards me in a low voice, "That's thirteen now."

"I heard that," Rachel called back as soon as the words left his mouth and the three of us on the main level broke out into a laugh.

"You can wait in the living room," Hiram said, leading me to a cozy sitting area. I had been in Rachel's house once before for the house party she had held last year, but the only part of her house that she had shown us was her basement. Their living room was like a shrine to their daughter. There were rows of bookcases with shelves that were filled with trophies, ribbons, medals, photos and even crowns, but not a single book in sight. One shelf in particular caught my eye and I walked over towards it, bending down slightly to view the engraving on the trophy plaques and realizing that they were all for accomplishments in swimming, mostly first place but there were a couple silver medals as well.

"Rachel used to be a champion swimmer," Leroy beamed, when he noticed me staring at the trophies, "She only gave it up when she decided to focus entirely on her singing."

It suddenly all made sense as to why Rachel had so easily beat me the day before in our friendly race and I realized that I didn't really know much about Rachel. There was a framed picture on the same shelf, almost entirely hidden by the row of trophies, and I reached in and pulled it out to get a better look. It was Rachel, maybe twelve or thirteen, she was standing in a bright pink one piece bathing suit, hair wet and slicked back in a ponytail with her goggles sitting on top of her head. She was standing at the top of a podium with a gold medal handing around her neck and her big Rachel Berry smile on her face. She looked adorable and I had trouble putting the photo back on the shelf instead of slipping it under my shirt and walking away with it.

The shelf above it had a few crowns and neatly folded sashes, with a couple photos of a much younger Rachel, maybe six, wearing sequined tutus and large hair pieces.

"That was from her very short stint as a pageant princess," Leroy mused.

"Before we realized that was not the kind of environment we wanted our daughter growing up in," Hiram finished sternly.

"Those parents are something else," Leroy agreed as I moved on to another shelf.

All the other shelves contained awards that were either for singing or dance, but another hidden picture caught my eye, this one not framed just loosely laying against one of the trophies and I quickly snatched it up. I remembered this picture. She was standing on the football field, completely clad in her short lived football uniform, helmet tucked underneath her arm with her other hand on her hip and her hair tied in two long braids. The black smudges under her eyes were adorable and her usual big smile was the icing on the cake. I had forgotten all about this and I knew that this image of her was easily going to replace my Rachel as a Cheerio fantasy. I wondered if she still had the uniform hidden somewhere in the back of her closet.

"Keep it," Leroy said, startling me. I don't know how long I had been staring at the picture for, but I had completely forgotten that her parents were still in the room.

"Oh no, I couldn't," I smiled nervously, putting the picture back, but his hand on my wrist stopped me.

"It's a double," he smiled pointing to a larger version of the picture hanging on the wall, "We couldn't resist getting an 8x10 when she looked so adorable as a mini-football player."

I carefully slid the picture into my pocket as another shelf caught my eye. There was just a single trophy on it and a picture of Rachel and her dads' smiling faces. The trophy looked cheap, with a big "1" on top of it and I looked at the plaque which read '_#1 Daughter Rachel Berry_'.

"We know it's cheesy," Hiram spoke up, "But we wanted her to have something so she knew how much we appreciate and are thankful for her. We couldn't have asked for a better daughter."

"Dad," Rachel groaned and my head snapped towards her, I hadn't even heard her come down the stairs. She looked so different from how I usually saw her in skirts made for children and sweaters for old ladies, it was like someone else had picked out her clothing and done her hair and make up for her. She wore a pair of light blue low rise skinny jeans and a dark green tube top with a diagonal hem that draped down past her hips on one side and barely reached the waistband of her jeans on the other. Her hair was tied back loosely with large curls hanging around her face, and her make up was done almost exactly as I had done it the previous day. A thin silver necklace hung around her neck with a small 'R' pendant attached and her wrists had several silver bangles dangling around them.

Once again, she had managed to render my exceptional brain completely useless. I'm pretty sure I made some sort of unattractive sound as my mouth gaped open at her and my eyes opened as wide as they would go, closely resembling a Looney Toons cartoon. I made a note not to forget my jaw on the floor when we left.

"Kurt took me shopping," Rachel blushed after I hadn't said anything or moved in over a minute. Suddenly I was wishing I had took a little more time to plan out my outfit, but where I was taking her was too casual to wear anything else. "Is it too much?"

"Yes," I mumbled, feeling that familiar ache beginning in my lower half again, but I shook myself out of my daze when I realized I insulted her, "I mean no. I mean... you look amazing."

I took a few steps towards her, forgetting entirely that her dads were in the room once again until Leroy unceremoniously cleared his throat, catching our attention.

"Go and enjoy yourselves girls," Leroy said, clapping his large hands together.

"We will," Rachel said excitedly, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the front door, "Don't wait up."

I had just enough strength to give them a small wave and smile as I quickly turned my eyes back on Rachel, still unable to comprehend that this was the same girl.

"Wow," Rachel breathed when she saw my car, "I don't know much about cars, but I know enough to know that this is a very expensive car."

"It was a birthday present," I mumbled, my brain was still somewhere lost in the Berry house and what sanity I had left, disappeared when she suddenly turned, leaning against the passenger side of the car and playfully tugging on the front of my t-shirt until our bodies were pressed together again.

"So you really like my outfit," she asked, trying to play innocent but the tone of her voice was anything but.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, recollecting myself, before placing my hands on either side of her face and answering, "Rachel, you're always beautiful, but yeah, I really like this look."

She grinned back at me and I could feel her hooking her thumbs into my front jeans pocket when all of a sudden there was a soft crumpling noise and Rachel raised an eyebrow at me. She pulled the photo of her from my pocket, I had already forgotten I had taken it, and gave me a look of confusion, "You're stealing pictures of me?"

"Your dads gave it to me," I explained urgently, my face growing hot as a deep blush set in.

"I can give you a much better picture of an over the shoulder shot," she said, but I quickly snatched the photo out of her fingers.

"I like this one," I smiled looking at it, "This is the real Rachel Berry."

"You think I'm butch," Rachel snorted, folding her arms across her chest.

"No," I laughed, "You didn't join the football team for yourself, you put yourself at risk for your friends. I really admired you that day."

"Really," she asked and then ducked her head with a smirk, "You sure it's not just because of the uniform."

"Well, that too," I agreed, "You look really sexy as a football player."

I noticed that the sky was beginning to darken and the sun would be setting soon and if we didn't hurry my plans would be ruined.

"We gotta hurry," I said, taking hold of the door handle beside her and opening it for her. She slid onto the seat as I closed the door behind her and ran around to get in on the other side.

"Why," she asked, as I switched gears into reverse and pulled out of her driveway.

I gave her a 'nice try' look and smiled, "It's a surprise."

After I had been driving for a couple minutes, I could see Rachel staring at me out of the corner of my eye.

"What," I asked taking a quick glance at her before turning my attention back to the road.

"It's nice to be in the passenger seat for once," she shrugged and suddenly I could feel her hand cover mine on the shifter.

"Do you know how to drive stick," I asked, shifting into neutral as I slowed down for a stop sign, looking down at her hand on mine.

"No," she replied and I took my hand off the stick and put hers on it, covering her hand with mine.

"I'll show you," I said softly, moving her hand with the shifter as I began to accelerate. The reasoning behind this was, of course, only because I wanted to feel her hand under mine, but the experience was fun anyway.

A few minutes later and I was pulling into a parking lot next to a green park with a large hill at the other end, blocking everything behind it from view. The park was almost deserted except for a few couples out for an evening stroll, but I didn't care if the whole world was there. I looked up at the sun, beginning to get dangerously low in the sky, and said abruptly as I jumped from the car, "Let's go, we'll miss it."

"Miss what," Rachel asked, following me out of the car as I grabbed her hand and began dragging her up the path towards the hill at a near jogging pace. I felt her stumble slightly behind me and a whimper, "I can't run in these shoes."

I looked down at her strappy dark green sandals, surprised I hadn't noticed them before and sighed as I quickly dropped a knee to the ground, hunched my back and said, "Get on, I'll give you a piggy back."

"Oh, no," she gasped, "I'm too heavy."

"Rachel I could fit you in my school bag, now hurry up," I demanded and my urgent tone must've persuaded her, because with only a second of hesitation, I felt her arms wrap around my neck and her legs hook around my waist as I stood up and held on to the bottoms of her thighs. Any other day and carrying Rachel would be a breeze, but I found myself struggling after the harsh Cheerios practice I had endured that day. I was careful enough to make sure not to let Rachel notice. I took a deep breath and began a jogging pace, racing up the side of the hill and trying to ignore the fact that once again Rachel's entire body was pressed up against mine. When I reached the top of the hill I thought my legs were going to fall off, but as I looked down the other side of the hill I realized that we were just on time and it made everything worth while.

There was a lake on the other side with a large fountain in the middle, sculpted into an arch that sprayed water from inside the top of it and transformed it into mist as it hit the lake below. The reds, pinks and purples of the sky reflected off the water, making it a picture perfect moment.

"Pretty," Rachel smiled as I lowered her to her feet and walked down the grass on the other side of the hill. I sat down at a level in line with the top of the fountain, leaving a space between my legs for Rachel to sit between them, then pulled her down into that spot.

"Just wait," I whispered into her ear as I wrapped my arms around her slender waist and she stretched her legs out in front of her, crossing them at the ankle. She pressed her palms to the tops of my thighs as I took note that the sun was level with the top of the fountain, almost blocking the sun from view, and it would only be about a minute before the show would begin. She laid her head back against my shoulder, sighing into me, and we stayed in silence for a while, waiting.

Finally, the sun lowered below the arch, its rays breaking through the space beneath and each stream of water acted as a prism, casting thousands of tiny rainbows all over the lake and the side of the hill, one even landing against Rachel's chest, next to her heart. I wished I could say I planned that, but where they would land could never have been predicted. They flickered with the moving water and danced around the lake, creating a show that looked like it would require some serious special effects.

I heard Rachel gasp as her hands tightened against my thighs, "Britt, it's beautiful."

"Very beautiful," I responded, but I wasn't looking at the spectacle anymore, my eyes were fixed on the most beautiful thing in the park, Rachel Berry. Rachel was too captivated by the show to notice, "How did you find this place?"

"This is where my dad proposed to my mom," I said softly, "She always said this was her favourite place and when I was about fourteen I started coming here in the evenings to just sit and think. It's always so peaceful and calming."

"I love it," Rachel whispered and after another moment of silence she said, "Rainbows may not be your favourite colour, but they are mine now."

I chuckled softly, burying my nose in her hair as I inhaled her usual vanilla scent and mumbled before I even realized I had, "I love the way you smell."

"I know," she smirked, biting her lip when I moved my head to look at her.

"You know," I asked, a little confused by her admittance.

"Ever since you hugged me in bathroom, I heard you sniff me," she giggled and I could feel myself starting to blush again, "You like it more the days that I'm wearing vanilla rather than strawberry."

I blinked. _Did I?_ I didn't even know that myself.

"I like the way you smell," she whispered, when I hadn't responded, "Especially after motocross practice."

"When I'm all sweaty and gross," I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"It's not a sweaty smell," she answered thoughtfully, "More like fresh dirt and leather. I guess I'm weird."

"Yes," I joked, tickling the patch of skin that was revealed by her hip with my fingertips, "But I still like you anyway."

There was another heavy silence before she broke it again, "Is this a date, Brittany?"

I resisted the urge to say something cliche, like asking her if she wanted it to be a date, and decided that I wanted her to know exactly what this night was to me, "Yes, this is a date."

Somehow she managed to snuggle into me further and I watched a peaceful smile spread across her lips, "Good."

I looked across at the water and noticed that the rainbows had vanished as the sun had slipped down out of view and the sky was gradually darkening as night began to set in.

"You look really beautiful tonight," I whispered, my lips pressing against the shell of her ear and I felt her shiver against me.

"Well Kurt does have to take most of the credit for that," Rachel confessed.

"What exactly did you tell him," I asked, curious as to how Kurt agreed to go shopping with her. They weren't exactly friends although they had grown a lot closer over the past year.

"I told him I was going on a date and I needed help deciding what to wear," she answered, her fingers beginning to draw light circles on my thighs.

The feeling distracted me for a moment until the realization of what she said suddenly burst into my mind. There was no way Kurt would've helped her out without knowing who the date was with and he must've told the whole school by now that Rachel was going out on a date with me. My heart had picked up in pace and I was beginning to feel light headed, thinking about school on Monday and how Santana and the rest of the Cheerios would never speak to me again.

"You told him we were going on a date," I demanded, the knot tightening in my stomach.

"I told him it was with some boy at my synagogue," she replied soothingly, sensing my fear and covering my hands around her waist with her own, "I never told him anything about you."

"Oh," I sighed, relieved, then instantly guilty that I had panicked about everyone knowing about us being together. As much as I wanted to be alright with it, I obviously really wasn't ready to admit it to the world. "I'm sorry I assumed."

"Forget about it," Rachel said, brushing it off, "I just want to enjoy this."

Silence washed over us again as the sky had now gone completely dark and the stars were shining brightly all around. It was so quiet, nothing but the crickets chirping, and I found myself in another moment of pure bliss for the hundredth time that week.

"I still have it, you know," Rachel said after awhile, startling and confusing me.

"Have what," I asked, having no idea what she was talking about and wondering if I had zoned out of a conversation we had been having.

"The football uniform."

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><p>We stayed there for awhile, until the time started nearing one in the morning, before we finally dusted ourselves off and began walking back to the car, fingers interlaced as we held hands.<p>

"I'm not going to be able to see you again until Wednesday," I sighed, once we were back in the car and on the road. I saw her head snap towards me out of the corner of my eye, but she quickly recovered and tried to hide her disappointment.

"Did I do something wrong," she asked, nervously playing with her fingers in her lap.

"Come on, Rach, nothing like that," I assured her, "I've got Cheerios practice after school on Monday and on Tuesday I have to go to this stupid country club dinner and cocktails thing. We could hang out tomorrow if you want?"

"Can't," she sighed, "Daddies, daughter day."

"Cute," I smiled and watched as she rolled her eyes, "You could come to the dinner with me on Tuesday if you want?"

"Are you sure," she asked, "Won't your parents disapprove?"

"Of you," I laughed, "Did you not see how much my mother loved you. I think she's ecstatic to not see Santana around anymore. Plus, my family is pretty open, they've always been about doing what you love and living your life how you want to live it. They've never been ashamed of anything."

She chewed nervously at her lip as I pulled into her driveway and finally nodded, "Okay, as long as you're sure they won't mind."

"I promise," I said, laying my hand over hers when I had parked the car, "It's formal, so long evening gowns are the way to go."

"I guess I'm going to have to go shopping with Kurt again," she laughed nervously.

I finally realized where we were. Outside Rachel's house, the end of our first date, inside my car, and realized what was supposed to happen next. It wasn't as easy as before, when there was so much build up to kissing her, now the butterflies were dancing in my stomach and I found myself frozen in place, unable to even glance over at her.

"Thank you for the amazing night," she said, her voice sounding tiny and I heard the car door open. I turned my head towards her, knowing I had missed my opportunity, but my heart skipped when I saw her hesitate instead of stepping out. She turned back towards me, leaned over the centre console, and placed her hand on my thigh for support as she gently kissed my cheek, her lips staying there longer than normal before she pulled back an inch, glanced down at my lips then back up at my eyes and whispered, "It was perfect."

She kissed the corner of my mouth, purposely missing my lips and before I could react, the car door was closed and I saw her running up the front steps to her house. The side of my mouth tingled and I licked my tongue over the spot she had kissed.

_Cherry lip gloss._

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><p>That night I removed the photograph of Quinn, Santana, and I taken during our sophomore year as Cheerios, and replaced it with the picture of Rachel in her football uniform.<p>

I needed her to be the last thing I saw at night and the first thing I saw in the morning.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** I told you guys this one would be short, but it did end up being a lot shorter than I thought it would. Next chapter will more than make up for it, I think it's probably going to be my longest so far. Hopefully I will have time to add it sometime this weekend. Thanks so much for continuing to read!

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><p>It ended up working out well that Rachel was busy on Sunday because at four in the morning, getting only an hour of sleep after my date with Rachel, I got my usual bi-weekly hysterical phone call from Quinn asking if she could come over. Quinn was a mess since she found out she was pregnant and ever since then it had progressively gotten worse. Finn breaking up with her for the second time was what threw her completely over the edge and since then, every two weeks I would get a call from her in the middle of the night, sobbing into the phone about how no one loved her.<p>

She got to my house around four-thirty in the morning and like usual she silently slipped into my bed with me and I held her all night. It wasn't like with Rachel. There was nothing exciting or arousing about it and I always thought of it like how my sister used to let me sleep with her when I had nightmares. She just needed someone to be there to remind her that all the demons weren't real.

We spent most of Sunday in bed, with her curled up in my arms, as we watched another Kardashian marathon, and like always not actually talking about anything. I knew Quinn and she wasn't a talker. I was pretty sure she knew about my secret as well, but she had never ever brought it up or hinted at it. Sometimes she just had this sort of all knowing smile that made me wonder how many secrets she had figured out about everyone around us. She was so quietly intuitive, I sometimes envied her for it. She was also the most well guarded person I knew and as much as she knew about everyone else, no one really knew who Quinn was. She had so many secrets that she kept hidden away and she never really trusted anyone enough to open up to them at all. That was why my envy only lasted so long. She felt like such a tragic person, a fairytale princess fated to live a life full of doom.

She left my house around nine Sunday night with her head-bitch-back-in-charge look, head held high, and her usual apology that she left me with every time, "Sorry to be such a cry-baby."

"You're not a baby, babies don't have teeth," I answered back, always some variation of how Quinn didn't physically resemble a baby, and that smile would appear on her lips. Soft and all knowing, like she understood the game and she was playing along because she understood how important secrets were.

With everything that happened with her, I had forgotten all about the math test and even though I was almost positive I didn't actually need to study, I felt like I should've at least read over the outline of what was going to be on it.

When I sat down in my seat beside Santana in math class, who gave me little more than a weary glance, I looked up just in time to catch Rachel giving me a large encouraging grin with two thumbs up as she passed by me in the aisle.

"So pathetic," Santana growled, rolling her eyes and tapping her pencil so hard against the desk I thought it might snap. I ignored her, I knew she was just angry still about my tutoring sessions with Rachel and knowing Santana she was going to stay angry about it all week.

I was more concerned about the butterflies that had begun to flutter in my stomach, something I hadn't felt before a test since elementary school. It was going to be the first time in years that I didn't answer every question with either 'rainbows' or 'unicorns' and suddenly I felt like I wasn't prepared enough, or at all.

When the test was finally placed in front of me and I read the first few questions, the nausea completely disappeared and was replaced with a kind of warm, happy feeling as I knew all of my answers were correct. I had to go back and change a few of them, purposely putting in the wrong answers because I knew it would be entirely unbelievable if I suddenly got a hundred percent on a test. When I was finished and handed it in, I felt so accomplished and true to myself, even if I had to change a few of the answers, it was like I was finally becoming myself again.

During spare I escaped to my deserted bathroom, like I always did at that time, but once again it was not deserted. Rachel was leaning against the bathroom counter, as if she was waiting for me.

"We have to stop meeting like this," I joked, after the door had closed behind me.

"This wasn't an accident," Rachel admitted, "I know you always come in here during your free period."

I could tell by her expression that there was something she urgently needed to talk to me about so I decided to cut to the chase and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," she stressed, her eyes wavering on me, "but I do have something on my mind."

"Tell me," I said, resting my forearms on the tops of her shoulders and keeping our bodies at a safe distance.

She glanced down at my arms and said reluctantly, "Aren't you worried about someone coming in?"

I shrugged, knowing I was the master at cover-ups, "I'll just say my arms were too heavy and I needed a place to rest them."

Rachel looked away disappointedly, "Oh."

"What," I asked, tilting my head to the side and watching her resist a heavy sigh.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rachel said, her innocent brown eyes looking up at me through her bangs.

"Heavy arms," I said dumbly, almost hopeful that it was about that and not about what I knew it would be.

"No," Rachel said curtly and this time she did sigh, "I mean... we had our first date on Saturday and it was truly amazing, Brittany, really. No one has ever taken me somewhere more beautiful. In fact, I'm almost certain that all of my dates have either included bowling or Breadsticks, and I don't even like Breadsticks."

"Blasphemy," I gasped, letting it slip out before I even realized I was saying it.

"Their vegan menu is quite lacking," Rachel clarified and then shook her head as if to remind herself to get back to the point, "Can we consider dinner tomorrow our second date?"

"We can," I nodded, I had other plans for our second date, but if she wanted to count this as our second then the plans would just have to wait for the third.

"I need you to promise me something," she said, with a pained look on her face as if she was afraid of asking this of me.

"Okay," I said drawing the word out, not liking how this was sounding.

She bit her lip, eyes holding mine for what seemed like hours while I waited, until she finally replied, "Promise me that if this- if we get serious, you will tell everyone about us."

I was pretty sure that was where she had been going with this little talk, but was dreading it entirely. I didn't feel at all ready to tell anyone about us, but since Rachel had added in the part about 'if we get serious' I felt like it was a loop hole allowing me to agree to it. I was sure that when I felt like things between us were serious I would be ready to tell people, that would probably be months away anyways. Sure, I seemed to forget how to breathe when I saw her, and I may have had to toss out all the panties I had worn that week, but that just meant my body was attracted to her. It said nothing about things like compatibility and love and wanting to spend forever with each other.

I moved my hands from her shoulders to rest on either side of her neck, stroking the sensitive skin with my thumbs and making sure to look directly into her eyes as I spoke with as much confidence as I could fill my voice with, "I would never make you stay in the chorus when you were born to be a star. Rachel Berry was never meant to live in the shadows."

"You promise," she asked hopefully, a shy smile curling the corners of her mouth.

"I promise," I replied with an assuring nod and after her smile widened and her eyes fell bashfully to her feet I asked, "How's your confusion."

"It's starting to get a little clearer," she laughed, her teeth biting into her lip again, "Yours?"

_Why did she have to look so damn beautiful all the time?_

"It still kinda blows my mind," I replied with wonder, my hands tangling in her hair as I pulled her head to lay against my chest, tucked under my chin.

_The same vanilla scent that drove me crazy everyday._

"What," Rachel asked, her arms wrapping around my waist.

I kissed the top of her head, my lips lingered as I inhaled the intoxicating scent of her before I mumbled, "Liking you."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long. I took a little break from writing this weekend and this chapter didn't turn out to be nearly as long as I thought it would, I ended up editing out some unnecessary things. Anyway, next chapter is going to be another fairly short one and should be up sometime in the next couple days. I can't believe this is Chapter 13... That's crazy. Thanks so so much to everyone who is still reading and reviewing :D!

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><p>"We're not picking up Santana again are we," my father said as we sat with my mother in the back of the limo, en route to pick up Rachel. "Because after the fiasco that happened last time, I am a little weary of bringing her again."<p>

"No," I sighed, remembering how Santana had gotten into a fight with a waiter the last time over a mixed up drink order, ending in me dragging her out of the club while she continued to scream out Spanish profanities, "We're picking up Rachel."

"The Broadway starlet," my mother questioned, looking up from her cue cards outlining her acceptance speech.

"Future," I nodded, as she smiled and turned to my father excitedly.

"I caught them in the pool together, the other day, I told you about that," she said, poking him in the chest with the stack of cue cards.

"First I'm hearing of this," he shrugged at her.

"I know I told you," my mother concluded, but turned back to her speech.

"Any history of insanity with this girl," he asked, for the most part I knew he was joking, but since he had issues with Santana on many different occasions in the past, I knew that he was still expecting an answer.

I thought about it for a moment and realized I wasn't too sure how to answer. Rachel definitely had her moments, like sending Sunshine to a crack house because she was afraid of her talent, or we all heard about the time that she had the major crush on Mr. Schue and showed up to his house uninvited, even cooking dinner and cleaning his bathroom. She had stormed out of Glee rehearsals more times than not and her fashion sense alone could have her committed, but getting to know Rachel, I had learned to adore the quirks that everyone else teased and loathed her for. Even her bossiness and control issues were no longer a problem, but maybe that was because I had noticed that when we were alone, not only was I able to be myself, an entirely different person from who the world knew, but Rachel was different too. She tended to relinquish the control, when we were together, that she usually fought so hard for with everyone else at school, and that made me feel special, like she trusted me enough to let her barriers down.

"Do I have a history of insanity," I asked my father, smartly avoiding the question, because what teenage girl wasn't insane in the eyes of a middle aged man?

My father smirked back and gave me a wink, "That old smarts is in there somewhere, Britt."

I shrugged and turned my attention outside the window, seeing the sign for Rachel's street pass, I began to feel my stomach flutter as we neared her house. It was silly to feel like this, we'd hung out a lot now and had even gotten our first date out of the way, but maybe the butterflies were what you were supposed to feel when you were with the right person. I had been with so many people, but always felt so empty. I thought I had felt something with Santana and maybe if she had accepted me it would've grown into something real, but the feelings that I got with Rachel, they didn't feel like they grew over time. It felt more like I got hit by a freight train of emotions one day, like I woke up and everything was completely different and somehow everything that annoyed me about her before were now my favourite things. Maybe she worked some kind of voodoo on me.

The limo stopped on Rachel's driveway and I could hear the thundering of my heart in my ears as I waited for the chauffeur to cross over to my side and open the door. I took a deep breath and let it out as I stepped out of the limo and heard my mother call out, "No dottling, dear. We're already running behind."

I found myself taking more slow deep breaths as I smoothed down my lime green halter cut gown that feathered to cream coloured at the bottom. It was fairly simple design with a quite low neckline, revealing more than enough cleavage, and a diamond broach in the middle, just below my breasts. I finished the dress off with a pair of matching lime green sandals with two inch heels. I had tried to stay away from heels that were too large so I wouldn't be towering over Rachel while we were there, but I couldn't bring myself to wear flats with the beautiful gown, it just didn't feel right. I left my hair down, against my mother's gentle prodding to wear it in an up-do that was usually required at these events, but Rachel liked it down, and I liked Rachel.

No sooner had I pressed the doorbell when the door swung open and Leroy's smiling face greeted me, "Well don't you just look like a perfect angel."

I gave him a little curtsy and laughed as he ushered me into the house continuing to speak before I could get a word out, "Just wait until you see Rachel. She looks absolutely like a real princess."

"I told her she should wear one of her tiaras, but she refused," Hiram added, as we walked into the living room.

"Where is she," I asked, peering into their kitchen as I passed the doorway hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

"You know, Rachel," Leroy chuckled, rolling his eyes, "She had to go back upstairs to make her grand entrance down the staircase."

"Why do you have to embarrass me so much," Rachel's shrill voice called from upstairs.

"It's our job as fathers," Hiram called back to her and I smiled at them. I hated to admit it, but I was quite jealous of their family dynamic. Maybe Rachel was tired of being smothered by them, but it had to be nice knowing someone was always there for you and they looked like they loved her so much. I knew my parents loved me, but I never saw them enough to feel it.

Suddenly Rachel appeared at the top of the stairs, angrily folding her arms across her chest and growling as she stomped down the stairs, "You've ruined it now! It was going to be a perfect moment from an old movie and now-"

Rachel froze three steps from the bottom as I walked closer to the stairs. I knew that with Kurt picking out her clothing again I would be blown away, I was even prepared for possible drool, but still all that preparation was not enough, because suddenly I felt as if someone had knocked the air right out of me. Her dress was cream coloured, matching perfectly with the bottom of mine, and strapless with a thick band of embroidered sparkles just below the bust, the material draping down to her toes where matching sandals were decorated with even more sparkles and peeked out beneath her dress. She was wearing long Audrey Hepburn style gloves, matching the dress, that went up her arms past her elbows and really did give her look that old movie feel. She had straightened the curls from her hair, leaving most of it down except for two thin braids on each side of her head that were tied together at the back and more simple white gold jewelry that made her sparkle all over. Her fathers were right, add one of her tiaras and she was a princess, or maybe even a beautiful look for her wedding day. The image of me standing at the altar in a tux and her walking down the aisle in that dress appeared in my head and yeah that was how I would want her to look. Also, I could totally rock a top hat and coat tails.

"Brittany," she gasped, tearing me back to reality and I realized that I was in fact drooling. "You look beautiful."

_Did I?_ I forgot I was even dressed out of the ordinary. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't find the word that meant a million times more than stunning or gorgeous or breathtaking or anything, so I simply took another step towards her, slowly raised one of her gloved hands in mine and gently placed a kiss to the back of it. My eyes never left hers as I did and her mouth had fallen open slightly as if she was in a trance.

I heard a clicking noise from behind me and Hiram's voice broke through the silence, "That one's going on the wall."

Rachel and I both broke from the spell as we turned to look, I had completely forgotten that her dads were even in the room, and found Hiram holding a large camera in his hands, while Leroy looked at the screen over his shoulder to see the photo he had just taken. I felt myself blush, realizing how cheesy the motion had just been, but suddenly his words sunk into my head and all I could feel was honoured. Looking around at all the pictures the Berry's had in their living room, the majority were of Rachel by herself and the only other pictures that had other people in them, were ones of her with her dads. There weren't any pictures of her with Finn or Jesse or Mercedes, no childhood friends, no one else and yet second date and I was already being welcomed onto the wall.

_Was I crying?_

"Brittany are you okay," Rachel asked, turning me towards her as I tried to quickly brush the embarrassing tears away. I forced a big smile and in one swift motion, wrapped my arms around her waist and swung her around, lifting her from the stairs and putting her down on the floor at my level, all the while I could hear the familiar clicking noise in the background that was making my heart tighten.

I leaned in towards her so I could whisper in her ear, "Whatever happens in the future, I will always look back on this moment to remember how perfect everything can be."

I kissed her cheek quickly as I pulled back from her, her eyes sparkling along with her dress as a sweet smile formed on her glossy lips.

"Alright girls, turn this way," Leroy said and I immediately turned towards them, feeling Rachel's eyes lingering on me a moment longer before she finally turned towards her dads. Her arms wrapped tightly around my waist and her head rested against my arm as Hiram took more pictures.

"Our carriage awaits," I said to Rachel, when Hiram had finally stopped taking pictures and Leroy had left the room complaining about something in his eyes.

Rachel raised an eyebrow as if she was half expecting a horse drawn carriage to be waiting outside her house and I laughed and corrected, "Okay, our limo awaits. And so do my parents so we should probably hurry."

"Limo," Rachel asked in disbelief as she waved to her parents and we headed towards the front door.

"Didn't I tell you that," I joked, knowing full-well I hadn't told her, and opened the door.

She stepped out of the house first and stopped at the sight of the limo in the driveway and chauffeur waiting patiently by the door to open it for us, "You most certainly did not."

"Don't get too excited," I laughed, holding her hand as I led her to the car, "my parents are inside."

Just before we got to the car, as the chauffeur was opening the door, Rachel tugged on my hand, forcing me to turn back towards her.

"What's wrong," I asked when I caught sight of the worried look on her face.

Her eyes looked past me at the open door and she leaned in and whispered, "What if they don't like me?"

"Who doesn't like Rachel Berry," I scoffed and then added, "Besides, you're not Santana. They'll love you."

I loved how I could make Rachel smile like she was now. Just a simple phrase and I could bring back that grin that could light up the Arctic in the winter.

I moved to let Rachel into the car first, but her nerves got the best of her and she practically pushed me into the open door, with her following timidly behind.

"Dad, this is Rachel," I announced, once the chauffeur had closed the door behind us and my father leaned across the car so that he could shake her hand.

"Strong handshake for such a petite girl," he noted and in that moment I knew she had managed to impress him already, without even saying a word.

"Thank you," and suddenly all the confidence was back in Rachel, "My dads always believe that a firm handshake is a good foundation to a future relationship."

"Dads," he questioned, "As in you have more then one?"

Rachel looked towards me, silently questioning if my parents were going to react badly, but I nodded her on, urging her to continue.

"Yes," she responded, holding her chin up, "I have two gay dads."

"Wonderful," my dad nodded, clapping his hands together, "They must be pretty excited about the legalization of gay weddings in New York."

"Yes," she smiled and I don't think even she was ready for such a welcoming response, "However, they will be much happier when it is legalized all over America."

"Of course," he said and then leaned over to give her knee a firm poke, "But we still have a lot of work to do."

"We," Rachel asked, her brow furrowed as she turned towards me.

"My parents are heavily involved in the LGBT community," I explained pointing towards my mother, "She's actually getting an award for all her community service and volunteer work with the Ohio chapter."

Rachel looked completely stunned and I think she was so used to being met with negativity towards her parents and family situation her whole life that she was surprised to find people that immediately accepted it.

"That's very commendable," Rachel said slowly, her eyes falling back to me for support.

"My father had a brother who committed suicide in his teens because of the harassment he was forced to endure," I explained, while my father nodded. It wasn't a hidden family secret, my father spoke out about it to the public whenever he could, making sure to get the awareness out there in the hopes that one day no more families will have to go through the same pain that he went through.

"Our family is all about accepting people for who they are and not trying to change them," my mother said, keeping her eyes on the cue cards as she continued to mumble her speech.

Suddenly I felt a hand moving along my thigh and I realized Rachel was blindly trying to find my hand as the shock still coursed through her body. I took her hand, interlacing our fingers and giving it a squeeze as the information she had just been given sunk in to her.

"So you wouldn't care if Brittany was gay," Rachel questioned boldly, and for some reason I couldn't help blushing.

"Brittany is who she is," my father answered, his face serious, "As long as she's happy, I don't care who it's with."

Rachel relaxed back into the seat as her eyes fell to the floor of the car and a smile spread across her lips. I knew what she was thinking. We may have problems at school, but both of our homes will always be a safe haven for our relationship.

As the limo pulled into the long driveway of the country club, a knot tightened in my stomach as I saw a couple of girls walking up the steps with their families. They were Cheerios and I knew them well. In all the excitement, I hadn't even thought about all the people from school that would be at this dinner, watching Rachel and I together and rushing home to report back to everyone they knew. I knew that by the end of the night, Santana and Quinn would both be entirely aware that I had brought Rachel with me. Quinn I wasn't so worried about, but Santana was ready to turn into the She-Hulk when she found out about the tutoring. I couldn't even imagine her reaction when she found out Rachel had taken her place as my guest.

"You okay," Rachel whispered, giving my hand a gentle squeeze and I turned my attention from the window to look at her.

"Just a bit of a headache," I lied, trying to bury my fears because I knew there was no possible way I could turn back now.

"I know the cure," Rachel whispered, glancing up to judge how much time we had before we got to the door and realizing we were a few seconds away she said, "I'll fix you when we get seated."

I gave her a puzzled look, wondering what could possibly be her cure for a headache when I clearly could not see a bottle of Tylenol hidden anywhere in her dress, but was instantly distracted as the chauffeur pulled open my door for me. I stepped out, looking around the area to see if I could spot anyone I knew from school and when I didn't, I offered Rachel my arm when she stepped our of the car. I knew she loved the small old fashioned gestures. Maybe we were two girls in princess dresses, but that didn't mean I couldn't add a little old fashioned romance into the mix.

Her hand gripped my arm and I didn't wait for my parents to get out before we began up the stairs and into the building. A man dressed in a very smart looking tux greeted us at the door and waited a second for my parents to follow in behind us as he led us to the head table.

"This is where we're sitting," Rachel whispered to me as he pulled out our seats for us.

"My parents practically own the country club," I whispered back, sitting down in the seat.

"What does your dad do again," she asked, her eyes scanning the ballroom at all the people that were sitting at their tables.

"He's the president of the largest insurance company in Ohio," I said, leaning back as the man laid the napkin in my lap. He turned to Rachel but she was leaning against the table watching the people and oblivious to him.

"Rach," I said, calling her attention and she finally noticed the man was trying to put the napkin in her lap and she sat up quickly, blushing slightly.

"Sorry," she apologized and when he left she leaned back in towards me, "I think those are Cheerios over there."

I followed her gaze and saw the two girls I had seen earlier staring towards us and whispering to each other.

"I know," I sighed, dropping my eyes to the table and wondering if I could slide under the white tablecloth and hide there for the rest of the night.

Rachel noticed my disappointment and said, "How's that headache?"

"It's getting worse," I groaned, chancing another glance at the Cheerios who were throwing disgusted looks at us.

Then, Rachel was removing her gloves, tugging at each finger before finally pulling them off completely and placed them on the table. She took my hand closest to her, holding it in her lap below the table, and began to use her thumbs to knead the flesh on the heel of my hand, pressing them in a circular motion. Her thumbs slowly moved around the palm of my hand before smoothing out each finger separately and then moving back to my palm. The sensation was amazing and all I could do was sit there and stare at my hand as this incredible feeling shot through my body. I had no idea that someone massaging your hand in this way could make you feel so good.

"How's your headache," Rachel asked again after a few minutes had gone by.

"What headache," I asked lazily and she gave me a smile as she placed my hand back in my own lap. "Where did you learn how to do that?"

"My dads used to massage my palms when I got headaches when I was little," she shrugged, "Something about distracting the mind so you're not thinking about the pain."

I was staring at her. I couldn't tell you what the look on my face was, but inside my head all I could think of was how did no one else see how truly wonderful she was? I wished everyone else could see her like I did.

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><p>Dinner came and went and was uneventful except for a frightened Rachel when she heard that they were serving steak. Before she managed to get too worked up I was able to assure her that I had put her down for the vegan dinner ahead of time and after she settled down she couldn't get over how sweet it was that I remembered. I thought that was silly, of course I remembered that she was a vegan, but apparently the others she dated, namely Finn, seemed to forget this little fact on an hourly basis, even trying to feed her a meatball once which caused her to shudder at the memory.<p>

After dinner my mother was called up to accept her award and say her speech, which went on way too long in my opinion, and then after that the music started up for people to dance. It was all waltzes and classical music and all those kinds of dances that you needed a partner to dance with. I saw Rachel watching the couples with such envy and I could see it in her eyes that she was dying to go up there. I was still having trouble with the fact that Cheerios members were here watching us and I had completely ruled dancing out until I saw Rachel's wistful gaze. I so badly needed everything to go perfect for her so I sucked up all my courage and stood up from my chair, holding out my hand towards her and looking into her eyes as I said, "May I have this dance?"

Rachel bit down on her lip as she smiled and took my hand with a nod, "You may."

I led her to the middle of the dance floor, hoping some of the other couples would provide us with enough camouflage, pressing one hand to the curve of her hip as her hand rested on the side of my upper arm, and our other hands clasped together. Our bodies were an arms length away and I figured as long as we stayed at this distance we wouldn't have any problems and with the amount of smiles and laughs Rachel was letting out as we circled around the dance floor, it seemed it was all worth it.

Suddenly the waltz ended and the string band began to play a slow song. Before I could decide whether it would be best if we moved off the floor or not, Rachel had decided for us as she moved in against me, resting her head against my chest and pulling our clasped hands in against our bodies. I wrapped the hand that was on her hip around the small of her back, holding her tightly against me as I closed my eyes and we swayed to the gentle melody. It was like something out of a storybook. So perfect, so amazing, so wonderful and all those fears I had had before vanished because once again Rachel was in my arms and I was invincible.

"What are you doing, Brittany," I heard an obnoxious voice lash out from beside me, ripping away my perfect moment and reminding me that I'm not invincible. The two Cheerios girls had come on to the dance floor and were staring at us with their arms folded across their chests like mirror images of each other. "You do realize who you're dancing with don't you?"

I didn't even think before 'Stupid Brittany' switched on and answered the question for me, "My mom says it's important to do community service."

Suddenly the soft, gentle hands that had been caressing me, pressed harshly to my shoulders as Rachel shoved me backwards with all her strength. I stumbled back and turned towards her just in time to see her run into a waiter, knocking him off his feet like a football player, on her sprint out of the country club. I looked over at the Cheerios who were smirking and sneered angrily at them, "What makes you think you're so special?"

I didn't wait for an answer as I took off after Rachel, leaping over the still fallen waiter as I ran faster than probably I ever had in my life. When I got to the door Rachel was demanding that the valet call her a cab and tears were streaming down her face. My heart broke because once again it was my fault.

When she saw I had followed her out, she quickly began to run down the stairs to get away from me but I wasn't giving up.

"Rachel stop," I pleaded, causing people who had gathered outside to have their after dinner cigarettes to stare at the commotion I was making. I didn't care.

"No," Rachel yelled back, continuing her descent down the stairs.

"Please, Rach," I continued and the fear in my heart that I was losing her drove me to move faster than I ever had. I grabbed hold of her wrist when we got to the bottom of the stairs and I turned her to face me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"I understand having to hide our relationship," Rachel spat, "for now, anyway, but I can't handle you making fun of me and talking about me like that to other people. You're supposed to care about me. Do you even know how much it hurts to hear you talk about me like that?"

"Please stop crying," I said, trying to brush away her tears with my fingers but she turned her face away from me when I tried to touch her. "How can I fix this?"

Rachel was quiet for a moment, her eyes like steel as they bore into mine with her jaw clenched and finally after a full minute she said, "Go back in there and kiss me."

"What," I answered, completely shocked, not even close to anything I had imagined her saying.

"You heard me," she said, determination filling her voice.

"I can't," I whispered in defeat.

Rachel ripped her wrist from grasp and tried to turn away but I grabbed on to her again, turning her to face me.

"I can't not just because of the Cheerios watching us or all those other people, but because if I take you back in there and I kiss you because you told me to, it would ruin it," I said softly, hoping she would be able to see that I had never held out for anyone before as long as I had with her, even if that was only a week and a half, I usually had sex on the first date no questions asked. I needed this kiss to mean something. "Do you really want our first kiss to be like that?"

I could see her thinking it over, but when a couple minutes went by and she was still staring at me I sighed and turned towards the door, dragging her with me.

"W-Where are we going," she asked, her voice sounding frantic as she tried to pull back away from me.

"I'm giving you what you want," I said, turning towards her again, "If that's what you want, if that's what you need then fine. I'd give you anything, Rachel. I just didn't think you'd ask for it all so soon."

"No," she whispered, her voice quivering as she began to sob, "I don't want that. I just don't want to be hurt by you anymore."

I cradled her face in my hands kissing her forehead before looking her in the eyes, "I promise. I promise that was the last time."

We were quiet for a moment, her face in my hands as she stared up at me, with tears still rolling down her cheeks that I brushed away every so often with my thumbs.

"You know you can kiss me," she whispered finally, her eyes dropping to my lips and then back up to my eyes.

I gave her a lopsided smile and pressed a long kiss to the tip of her nose, "Not yet. Now come on back in and dance with me."

Rachel glanced around at the crowd that had begun to form outside, watching our outburst and then noticed the cab coming up the drive.

"I can't," she said, shaking her head and trying to wipe her tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands, "I've embarrassed myself enough tonight."

"No, you didn't," I pleaded, wrapping my arms around her waist in an attempt to get her to stay, but she pushed my hands away.

"I'm tired," she said sadly, opening the door to the cab and getting in, "I think I just want to go home to sleep."

I caught hold of the door before she could close it and asked desperately, "Are we okay?"

She nodded back, pulling the door from my hold and closing it, but the look in her eyes made me question it. She rolled down the window and gave me a forced smile.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Remember when I was all like, the next chapter is going to be really short? I lied. This chapter contains the song Sorry by Buckcherry. If you are unfamiliar with it and even if you are familiar with it, I still suggest you go listen to it anyways... youtube[dot]com/watch?v=aEIhtvdU6b0

**A/N2:** Thank you thank you thank you for all your reviews. I'm so happy everyone is enjoying this and even turning some people to the Brittberry/Pieberry love lol. All Faberrittana love is awesome btw.

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><p>I stood watching the taxi cab depart, unmoving long after the cab had turned from view, somehow still believing that she would come back and the whole thing would be like a horrible nightmare. The entire night had been like a fairytale, I had even applauded myself for working up the courage to dance with her and then with one sentence I threw it all away and she was gone.<p>

I tried to suck it up and go back inside, but as soon as I caught sight of the two Cheerios, looking over at me and laughing, I lost it. I headed straight for them and shouted, "What do you have against Rachel?"

"You mean besides the fact that she's a loser and her nose could be used as a kazoo," the blonde laughed and her friend joined in with her.

The best way I could describe what happened next, was that suddenly everything went red. I never thought that I would result to violence to solve anything, but before I even realized I was raising my fist, it was already connecting with her nose and she instantly dropped to the ground. I just stood there and stared down at her as she screamed, clutching her bleeding nose and the entire room stopped what they were doing to come to her aid.

"I think you'd better let our driver take you home," my mother whispered, leading me away from the scene before fingers could be pointed towards me.

"I don't know what happened," I said in shock, shaking my head. I'd never hit anyone before and it didn't even make me feel better. It made me feel worse.

"I think I know," my mother said as we got outside and she signalled for the valet to call our driver, "You like this girl a lot, Britt, I've seen the way you look at some of your boyfriends and girlfriends, and you've never looked at any of them like you look at her."

"How do I look at her," I asked, a little taken aback that my mother had noticed anything about me.

My mother smiled warmly at me and touched my cheek, "Like she's your world."

"I think I lost her tonight," I said miserably, and saying it out loud suddenly made it feel so real and it was like I was being attacked by thousands of different emotions. I grabbed onto her as the tears clouded my vision and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"What happened," my mother asked, stroking my hair soothingly as I cried into her shoulder. It was so strange, I couldn't even remember the last time I had hugged her, and now I was crumbling in her arms.

"I insulted her, I said something really stupid and mean," I sobbed, gasping for each breath, I hadn't cried this hard since I was a kid. I almost forgot how horrible it felt.

My mother pulled me away from her, holding me out at arms length and dipped her head to look into my swollen eyes, "Rachel seems like the type of girl who would respond to a grand gesture. Do something that could risk hurting you as much as you hurt her. If you were ever going to use that big brain of yours again, now would be a good time to dust it off, Britt."

I stared back at her blankly, trying to understand what she was telling me, but before I could ask her to clarify, she was pushing me into the back of the limo.

"Get some rest, Sweetheart," she said with an optimistic smile as the car door closed.

_Grand gesture_. I would have to do something big, something huge to make up for this. It wasn't just about this one time, but all the times that I had taunted and teased and insulted her. I had even slushied her several times freshman year. I needed to do something to apologize for everything and to really let her know how I felt.

* * *

><p>"What the hell is going on with you, Britt," Santana demanded the next day as I sat down in my usual seat in math class, "First I get a text from some Cheerio that I don't even remember the name of, and I'm still curious as to how she got my number, telling me that you showed up to your little soiree with Yentl. Then I find out that you punched your own team member? You broke her nose, Britt."<p>

"I don't like you calling her that," I said softly, staring down at my books. I hadn't slept all night and I really was in no mood to get into a fight with Santana right now.

"Who," she questioned, placing her hands on her hips in her HBIC pose.

"Rachel," I said turning towards her, "I don't like you calling her names like that."

"Since when," Santana asked in disbelief.

"Always," I answered confidently, because although I had allowed myself to follow her and Quinn like a sheep in the past, I never liked calling her or anyone names.

"No," Santana said, wagging a finger at me, "She's brainwashed you to join her legion of losers, but I'm not letting you go to the fashionably-challenged side without a fight."

"What are you even talking about," I asked, throwing my pencil down against my book and turning all my attention towards her.

"You think I haven't noticed that she drives you home from school everyday, or that she even drove you _to_ school one day? Or the fact that you haven't been able to nail a single Cheerios routine in over a week? I haven't seen you outside of school in almost two weeks, when we used to hang out everyday and you don't even sound the same anymore," Santana said, harshly listing everything out.

I turned around in my chair to see if Rachel was paying attention to the commotion and although her head was down towards her books, I could see her eyes peeking out from under her bangs to look at Santana.

"There you go looking at her again," Santana said angrily, "What are you looking at her for?"

"She's my friend," I said with a sudden burst of confidence, standing up from my seat and looking down at her with as much ferocity that she was throwing at me.

It seemed like forever that we stood there, staring each other down and waiting for the other to back off and I knew that after what happened the night before, I wasn't backing down for anything. Finally she snorted and rolled her eyes, "Fine, you can sit with your _friend_ in math class."

She moved away to sit at a different table and I looked back at Rachel, who was biting her lip but she quickly looked away, not ready to meet my eyes. Our teacher came into the room at the same time and began slapping our corrected tests on everyone's desks. When he got to mine, he placed it down gently and said, "Excellent work Ms. Pierce. Keep that up and you just might ace your SATs."

I was almost certain he added "Didn't think I'd ever say that" under his breath as he walked away and I smirked as I looked down at my paper.

_Ninety percent_. _Ooops, I thought I changed more answers than that._ What caught my attention even more than the grade that I hadn't seen since I was thirteen, was the small gold star sticker beside it, mocking me and reminding me that it was all because of the girl sitting two seats behind me. I turned around, hoping to catch her attention so I could show her my mark, but she was staring down at her paper and still ignoring me completely.

It was alright, I still had a surprise in store for her that day.

* * *

><p>"You don't have to do this, Brittany," Mr. Schue said as he placed an encouraging hand on my shoulder as we stood just outside the entrance to the lunch room.<p>

"Yeah I do," I said with certainty, but my stomach was tied in so many knots I was sure there was a high probability I might throw up. "Grand gestures."

"What was that," he questioned, his brow furrowing as his concerned eyes stared back at me.

I shook my head and waved a hand at him, "Not important."

He gave my shoulder a quick squeeze before heading into the student lunch room. I slowly peeked in, seeing Santana, Quinn and the Cheerios seated at their table and then a couple tables away was Rachel with Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Mike, the four of them talking while Rachel pushed her salad around with her fork, miserably. The cafeteria was full and bustling with students talking and laughing amongst themselves and maybe I couldn't do this. This was all starting to be a terrible idea.

I started to jump up and down as I began to chant words of encouragement to myself, "You can do this. It's going to be fine. Rachel had to endure years of torture and you just have to put yourself out there for four minutes. I can do this. I can do this."

"You ready," I heard a boy ask from behind me, startling me out of my meditation and I turned around to find the jazz band carrying their instruments, drum set, guitar, bass, everything they needed.

"No," I said my voice shaking, I didn't think I'd ever been so nervous in my life. He raised an eyebrow at me and I closed my eyes and said the words that would seal my fate forever, "Yes, go."

With those words, they all began to rush into the lunch room, setting up their instruments and plugging in their amps in record speed as I waited and watched.

It wasn't until about four o'clock in the morning when I had realized what my mother had meant by 'grand gestures' and 'doing something that risked hurting me as much as she got hurt'. I didn't want Rachel to be put through what I went through with Santana, hiding the most important thing in your life from the rest of the world. It wasn't fair to anybody. I knew that I needed to do something that would let her know, without a doubt, that she was important to me and in a moment of clarity in the middle of the night I started to wonder why exactly it was that I was so afraid of telling people about our relationship. I had stopped caring about popularity a long time ago and I was pretty sure that after the initial shock, Quinn would be alright with it. Santana wouldn't, but if she couldn't get over it, it would be her loss. I wasn't really friends with any of the other Cheerios except Becky and she loved everybody. So what was I so afraid of?

Slushies to the face? Bullying? Rachel had already been through it all and if I had to deal with it for one year before we graduate, just so I could walk down the halls with her hand in mine, so be it.

I refused to hurt Rachel again because of my own selfishness, and I was about to show her that I was entirely serious about it.

So at four o'clock in the morning when I was listening to my iPod on shuffle as I contemplated the horrible life choices I had made so far in my seventeen years on this earth, a song came on that said everything that I wanted to tell her, word for word. It wasn't a song that I would normally think about singing, but the key was low enough to fit my limited vocal range, since it was originally sung by a man, and the lyrics were so eerily perfect I couldn't pass it up.

I had gone to Mr. Schue before classes started that day to inform him of my plan and asked him to come to the cafeteria at lunch so he could see me perform my assignment.

He was excited, but quick to inform me that this kind of thing could bring on a lot of bullying and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes like he knew there was something different about me, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Using words with four syllables was probably aiding in that confusion, but I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to be 'Stupid Brittany' anymore and I didn't want to hide who I was anymore.

So there I stood outside the cafeteria, jumping up and down again to try to shake the nerves away and stop myself from running in the opposite direction and never coming back. I just hoped Rachel really _really_ appreciated this.

I finally heard the guitar begin to strike the first few chords of Sorry by Buckcherry and I had just enough time to swallow the large lump in the back of my throat as I stepped into the cafeteria, keeping my eyes fixed on Rachel, as if she was the only one in the room, as I began to sing.

_Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away_

_I missed you and things weren't the same_

My voice was shaking so bad I had to close my eyes for a moment, clearing my head, and when I opened them again, I was a lot stronger and very determined. Rachel's posture had changed from slumped down over her tray of food to stick straight as her wide-eyes quickly darted around the room before looking back at me, stunned.

_'Cause everything inside it never comes out right_

_And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die_

I took a few steps closer to Rachel's table, doing my best to ignore the gaping mouths and wide eyes of the other four people seated there, but still leaving a large distance between us.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know, I can't take it back._

I took a deep breath before I sang the rest of the chorus, the fear of the school's reaction still prominent in my mind, but it would never stop me. I made sure to look Rachel directly in the eyes to make her feel it as I sang the words.

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds_

_And baby, the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

A smile began to spread across her lips, like she was amazed by my courage and couldn't believe that I was standing up in front of the whole school and saying these things for everyone to hear. The smile faltered as I suddenly rushed around to her side of the table, turning her chair out from under the table and dropping to my knees in front of her.

_This time I think I'm to blame_

_It's harder to get through the days_

_You get older and blame turns to shame_

I cupped her bare knees with my palms as I looked up at her and a tear began to roll down her cheek. Just another thing I loved about her, she was never afraid to show her emotions.

_'Cause everything inside it never comes out right_

_And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die_

I brushed the tear away from her cheek, before taking her hands in mine.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know, I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds_

_And baby the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

I let go of one of her hands, keeping the other in mine as I pulled her up from the chair and dragged her back to the open space where the band was playing. I took her other hand again as we stood, for everyone to see, but I always kept my eyes locked on hers as I sang each word from the heart.

_Every single day, I think about how we came all this way_

_The sleepless nights and the tears you cried_

_It's never too late to make it right_

_Oh yeah_

_Sorry _

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue_

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know, I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss,_ _I love all your sounds_

I dragged my thumb across her lips.

_And baby, the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

Once again I fell to my knees in front of her, begging for her to forgive me, because somewhere in the last ten days I realized that I needed Rachel in my life.

_I'm sorry baby _

_I'm sorry baby, yeah I'm sorry._

The way she was breathing and the hand that was pressed to her heart, I was pretty sure I had made my grand gesture.

"Forgive me," I whispered the question, when the music stopped playing and she wrapped her arms around my neck so fast I almost fell backwards.

"Definitely," she whispered back, "Thank you."

I heard a few people clap, but I couldn't care less if no one clapped. It wasn't for them, it was for her.

I caught sight of the Cheerios table, as I took Rachel's hand and began to lead her out of the cafeteria, and while Quinn looked entirely shocked, Santana looked entirely homicidal. She looked as if she was about to jump over the table and stab Rachel with the cafeteria butter knife she was white knuckling in her fist. I turned away from her, letting go of Rachel's hand to slide it around her waist and pulled her protectively towards me.

We spent the rest of out lunch hour sitting on the football field, my legs stretched out in front of me with Rachel resting her head in my lap and looking up at me.

"What," I asked, when several silent minutes had passed and she continued to stare.

"Would you like to be Pierce-Berry or Berry-Pierce," she asked casually and then added, "Because Brittany Berry would just sound strange."

"What," I laughed shaking my head.

"When we get married," she said with complete certainty that made me suddenly uncomfortable.

"Can we talk about this maybe when we're somewhere much _much_ further into our relationship," I asked, trying to keep my fears from sounding in my voice.

"Fine," Rachel sighed, turning her head away from me.

There was a long peaceful silence between us, until I said softly, "I like Rachel Pierce."

* * *

><p>When we got back to my place for our usual dance lesson I noticed she was without her duffle bag today.<p>

"I honestly didn't think I would be coming here today," she said softly, reminded of her earlier depression.

"It's okay," I said looking at her usual short skirt and the tight yellow t-shirt she was wearing today, "You don't need to change."

I did, though. As much as I liked wearing my Cheerios uniform, I couldn't wait to change into something lighter. Even though it was mid-September in Ohio, when the weather should've been cooling off, we were stuck in a heat wave and if I had my way, I would be walking around naked all the time. Instead, I found a pair of thin black shorts that fit to my body and a grey camisole in my closet and left my uniform in a puddle on the floor. Coach Sylvester would shoot me out of a canon for sure if she had ever seen me treat it like that.

I decided to mix our usual hip hop dancing with a bit of partner swing dancing, as I loved to combine different forms of dance, mixing old with the new and making it all exciting again. I came up with a routine that Rachel picked up on pretty quickly for the most part, and I was really quite impressed at how easily she was catching on to everything I taught her.

We danced to the music, as I swung her out and pulled her back in hard against me, where she ground her hips once against my thigh before twirling back behind me and I turned with her. She turned back to face me and I crossed my arms straight out in front of me and Rachel did the same as I took her hands in mine, letting me hold her up as she dropped her head back and arched her body, giving me an eye full of her long neck and slightly sweaty chest. She came back up and hopped off the floor and I began to take her weight as she pointed her toes and slid easily down and through my legs. Everything was going perfectly until I went to lift her back up and her elbows bent slightly before locking, causing her body to twist and her shoulders to roll. I thought that I would still be able to lift her, even though she'd lost some momentum, because she was so light I never had problems lifting her, but as she came back through my legs I could feel her body tense as she knew the move wasn't going as planned and her body twisted again.

I lost my footing as she fell back to the floor and I had just enough time to let go of her hands and let mine fall on either side of her waist in an attempt to break my fall, as my body came crashing down on top of her. My legs fell straddling her waist and I just barely missed knocking our heads together as my cheek brushed hers. I lifted my head quickly, worried that I had crushed her with my body, but there was a wide grin spread across her lips and she burst into a fit of giggles. I began to laugh along with her, the sound of her laugh was contagious, and repositioned my hands to try to lift myself off her. As my hands moved into position, my thumbs accidentally brushed her sides, inadvertently tickling her and causing her hips to buck up against my centre, as her hands, trapped between our chests, clung to my camisole.

A loud moan escaped my lips from the surprise contact and her giggling immediately ceased as she watched my expression, which I could imagine was entirely lust filled.

"I guess we're even," I managed to croak out, feeling the moisture pooling between my legs and I began to regret wearing the thin cotton shorts that clung to my skin.

"Yeah," she replied, but her eyes were glazed over and I could tell she had no idea what I had just said. Suddenly it seemed to register in her mind and she raised a confused eyebrow, "What?"

"From when we were grinding," I said, still trying to calm the tingling at my core, but making no attempt to move off of her. I was enjoying the feeling of her body below me too much. "When I made you moan."

Her face went completely red as she remembered the moment, when she was so close and when it all became too much.

"We've never kissed," Rachel whispered suddenly, her breath mingling with mine as my lips hovered dangerously close to hers.

"Huh," I asked, my eyes fixated on her pink lips.

"The song you sang today," she clarified, but her eyes were focused on my lips as well, "How do you know that you love how I kiss when we've never kissed? I could be terrible."

"Some things you just know," I mumbled, watching her tongue slide out quickly and lick her lips. I leaned in towards her and watched her eyes close as I brushed my nose against hers and moved my lips to hover just over hers, letting out a soft breath. Her lips parted in anticipation, but I moved my nose back to brush against hers again, tilting my head to the other side, teasing her. I let out another short breath over her lips and felt her chin bump up against mine as she tried to raise her lips to mine. When I evaded her again she let out a soft, desperate whimper and I finally gave in to her and touched my lips to hers with the lightest touch I could manage. The briefest feel of her full lips on mine sent me over the edge and I couldn't hold back anymore. I finally let my lips crash down against hers and I swear I saw fireworks behind my closed eyes. My lips attacked hers with such intensity that I even surprised myself, but she matched every movement with the same amount of fervour and need. I could feel her body lifting off the ground, pressing up against me as she tried to get more of me and I understood because I was pressing down against her with the same goal in mind. She was making light keening noises in the back of her throat that were driving me crazy and if I thought the moisture between my legs was an issue before, it was now cause for alarm. I felt her tongue drag along my lip and I didn't even have to think before opening my mouth to feel it tangle with mine.

_Terrible? More like mind-blowing._

I shifted my weight to one side and used my knee to nudge her legs apart and settled myself between them. The movement had caused her skirt to ride up around her waist and when our centres connected, separated by a couple thin pieces of cotton, she bucked her hips once again and broke the kiss to gasp. With her mouth open, I used the opportunity to take her bottom lip between my teeth and bite it lightly as I sucked it. Her hands were fisting my camisole now and pulling on it so hard I knew that it would never fit me properly again. I was also aware that he tugging had exposed my breasts, which were covered only by my lacy blue bra and the backs of her fingers would brush against the lace every time she pulled. I was quickly losing control and suddenly I realized that I had one hand digging my fingers into her hip, while my weight rested on my other forearm that had managed to snake under Rachel's shoulder blade and my fingers were gripping the top of her shoulder. I used the hand on her hip guide the movement of her hips and my hand on her shoulder was pulling her body down against me, while my hips ground against her centre. She broke away breathlessly from our kiss, our foreheads resting against each other for a short moment as I continued to thrust against her, but the tension building inside of me wouldn't let me stay still and my mouth found her neck where I bit down and sucked hard.

I was pretty sure I heard a ripping noise as her hands yanked even harder at my camisole and she let out a loud cry from the assault. She finally untangled her hands from my shirt, wrapping her arms around me and raking her nails down my back when I bit down on the other side of her neck and her knees came up to press into my sides. The hand I had been gripping her hip with slid down to the outside of her thigh, giving the flesh a squeeze as I recaptured her lips and slid my hand to the inside of her thigh. I slid my hand upwards towards her centre and could feel the wetness all along the insides of her thigh, unsure if it was mine or hers or a combination of the two and while I was thinking about that and caught up in her delicious lips, I suddenly felt her shudder against me and I realized I was cupping her mound through soaked panties.

"Stop," she moaned, breaking away from the kiss, urgently pushing me backwards. I sat back on my heels and let out my own moan, just from the sight of her. Her skirt was acting more like a belt than a skirt and I had a perfect view of the soaked panties I had just been touching. Her shirt was pulled up to just below her bra and her hair was wild and all over the place. She made no move to cover herself as she just stared up at me, panting, with black eyes.

Suddenly, she shot up into a sitting position, startling me as her hands fisted in my hair and her hungry mouth crashed against mine once again. The kiss was like a fight of who needed the other more and as our teeth gnashed and our lips bruised, I suddenly realized I had pulled her shirt over her head and my fingers were working the clasp on her bra.

"We need to stop," I groaned, backing away from her, pushing her hands away as she tried to pull me back. "We can't do this like this."

I think she was too wrapped up in the moment to realize how far we had taken things and seemed to be genuinely surprised when she looked down and realized her shirt was missing.

"You should go," I swallowed hard, handing her her shirt and when our hands brushed against each other and I almost lost it again, "I can't-"

"Me either," Rachel said, shaking her head as she straightened her shirt over her torso, "I didn't think one kiss would-"

"Make the world end," I finished and she paused to look at me with a smirk.

She bit down on her lip and looked at me through her dark lashes, "Exactly."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Ack the response to this fic is seriously blowing me away. Thanks sooo much for all the reviews! This chapter is pretty short, but necessary. I think the next chapter is going to be a little short too.. but hopefully that means I will be able to get it up before the weekend is over. Also, I posted a couple Brittberry/Pieberry sketches at my tumblr if you're interested (miseradreamer).

* * *

><p>"We need to talk," Quinn said, leaning against the locker beside mine as I got my books out for math class. I looked over her shoulder and noticed Santana hadn't been to her locker yet today, before glancing at Quinn.<p>

"About taxidermy," I asked, maybe 'Stupid Brittany' was useful sometimes, "Because it turns out it has nothing to do with taxis."

"Don't do that," Quinn sighed, rolling her eyes, "You know what I want to talk about."

I shrugged and closed my locker, turning away and beginning to walk towards my class, "Honestly Q, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She quickened her pace to keep in stride with me and said, "Umm let's see, long brown hair, five-three, name rhymes with Bachel, ring any bells?"

"Nope," I said, refusing to slow down.

Her hand grabbed my arm stopping me, "The girl you serenaded in front of the whole school in the cafeteria yesterday?"

"Fine," I sighed, folding my arms across my chest, "So are you going to ask me if I've lost my mind or tell me I can do better or-"

"You know me better than anyone else knows me," she interrupted, eyeing the passing students and making sure to keep her voice low enough for only me to hear, "You're the one I run to when I feel like I can't hold on anymore, when I'm falling away from the world. You see me at my weakest moments, the only one that sees me at my weakest moments. Do you really think I would say those things to you?"

"I don't know, Quinn," I said truthfully, Quinn was a bigger enigma than anyone I had ever met. I could never tell what was going on in her head, "You hate Rachel."

"I don't _hate_, Rachel," she huffed, rolling her eyes as if it was painful to admit it, "I just find her incredibly annoying sometimes. All the time."

"So why do you want to talk about her then, if it's not to tell me to stop seeing her," I asked, confused.

"Because the third person in our little trio, is having a mental breakdown as we speak," Quinn whispered, her eyes once again following the other students to make sure no one was listening.

"Santana," I said, I knew she would take it rough, but I really couldn't guess how hard it would be, I could never tell with her wild emotions, "Where is she?"

"Home," Quinn nodded and sighed, "working on her fifth container of Ben and Jerry's."

"Chunky Monkey," I said hopefully, but Quinn shook her head.

"Chubby Hubby," she whispered and leaned in towards me, "And she keeps adding whip cream and sprinkles to it."

"Well," I said taking a deep breath and falling back against the locker behind me, "At least she hasn't added the-"

"And Nutella," Quinn nodded with a disgusted face, "You need to do something. I hate it when you two are fighting."

"I'm not fighting with her," I protested, knocking my head back against the locker, "She's fighting with me. Right now, there's nothing I can do to fix this. I just gotta wait for her to come around."

"And if she doesn't," she suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you really think she'd throw away our whole friendship," I questioned, doubtful that Santana would actually let this ruin us completely.

"I think you underestimate how much she hates Rachel," Quinn said just as the late bell rang and gave me a pointed look before departing to her next class.

"What did she want," Rachel said, appearing on the other side of me and startling me, proudly wearing the hickey I had given her the evening before and not even trying to cover it.

"She's just jealous I got to you before she could," I shrugged, deciding it would be better if I didn't bring up Santana, "She was planning to serenade you with Seal's Kiss from a Rose at lunch today, but I guess I kinda wrecked that plan yesterday."

Rachel's eyes went wide as she played along, her gaze following Quinn down the hall, "Really? Head cheerleader Quinn Fabray is in love with me?"

She began to walk after her as if in a trance and I grabbed her arm and pulled her against me, wrapping my arms around her to rest my hands at the small of her back, chuckling as I growled, "My girlfriend."

"Girlfriend," she repeated with a smile as she dropped her eyes to her hands resting lightly on my chest.

"Is that okay," I asked nervously, maybe she thought we weren't there yet?

"Yes," her eyes switching between me and her hands, "It's just the first time you said it."

"Definitely not the last," I said, glancing around to gage how many people were still staggering through the halls to get to class. Deciding it was a small enough amount, who were more interested in their own lives to pay attention to mine, I leaned down and shared our second kiss in the halls of McKinley. I could feel her smile against my lips and she bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet and I broke the kiss to question her reaction.

"What," I asked, brushing my knuckles against her cheek as she beamed.

"I'm kissing my girlfriend in the hallway," she said, bouncing on her toes again, blinding me with her radiating, white smile.

"You know what else you're doing," I smiled back, kissing her lightly on her cute nose.

"What," she asked, her teeth biting down on her lip as she waited curiously for my response.

I leaned down towards her ear and whispered, "You're missing math class."

When I pulled back, I saw her expression had grown fearful as she twisted to see the clock on the wall, confirming the fact that class had started ten minutes ago.

"Come on," I laughed, taking her hand in mine, "Maybe we can slip in without anyone noticing."

As I turned, I was suddenly met with a blast of ice liquid, hitting my face as if I was being pelted by hail. The little shards of ice shot up my nose and flew into my mouth, momentarily cutting off my airflow and halting all my movements. I didn't understand what had just happened. I tried to open my eyes, but they burned when the sticky liquid came into contact with them and I squeezed them shut again, feeling the thick fluid ooze from my tear ducts and stream a new trail down my cheeks.

There was a cackle of laughter followed by, "That's what you get for dating a reject."

I felt Rachel's hand leave mine and then then both hands wiping the slushie from my face and eyes.

"Are you okay," she asked and I could finally open my eyes to see her worried look.

"Wow," I said softly, feeling it uncomfortably drip down underneath my shirt all the way down to the waistband of my jeans, "That really sucks. I feel extra bad for ever doing that to someone."

"Come on," Rachel sighed, taking my arm in hers and leading me towards the girl's bathroom, "Let's get you cleaned up."

When we got inside the bathroom she pushed a chair up to one of the sinks as I stood by the other, staring at my blue form in the mirror almost amused with my resemblance to a smurf. I turned on the water, leaning over the sink to clean my face, and then satisfied that I had that part of me clean, I stood up straight, sighing at my stained shirt and the chunky blue streaks in my hair. Without a second thought about Rachel's presence, being so used to stripping with an audience in the Cheerios locker room, I lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it into the sink, filling it up with warm water to try to soak the stain out. My white bra was almost completely blue, and I still had slushie chunks rolling down my chest and stomach.

"Sit," Rachel commanded, pointing to the chair in front of the seat, but her eyes fixed on my breasts and her tongue was swiping back and forth over her bottom lip. I hid my smirk as I sat down in the chair, leaning my head back over the sink so that she could wash the slush from my hair.

She turned the warm water on, tangling her fingers in my long blond hair and I closed my eyes to the relaxing sensations of the massage she was giving to my scalp. I bit my lip, trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle my low moan as her thumbs pressed to the tips of my ears, tracing the curve of them.

The bathroom was entirely silent, except for the sound of the water in the sink, and the light moans that escaped my lips, but Rachel wasn't saying a word and her silence left me wondering as to what she was thinking.

Her gentle fingers disappeared from my hair and for a moment there was nothing, then suddenly I felt a weight on my lap and my eyes shot open and I raised my head to find Rachel straddling me. Her finger traced a blue trail down my chest, in between my breasts, all the way down to where the ice had pooled in my navel and without a word, her tongue was slowly following that same path, scooting herself backwards so that she could dip her tongue into my navel. My hands grabbed at her hair and I pulled her head back after her tongue had traced the skin of my lower abdomen, just above the edge of my jeans, because unless we were planning to do the deed right now in the girls bathroom, I wasn't going to be able to keep control of myself. But I soon realized that holding her head back, with her eyes locked on mine, seemed to be just as arousing as her licking the slushie from my abs.

"Don't be a tease," I growled, roughly, my wet hair adding beads of water to roll down my torso along with the slushie.

"Sorry," she blushed as my grip on her hair loosened, "Blue's my favourite flavour."

"I don't have the strength to hold back when you do things like that," I explained, my eyes fixated on my thumb tracing her pouting, bottom lip, "I'm not used to waiting."

"Sorry," she whispered the apology and my eyes shot up to hers, breaking from the trance.

"That's not what I meant," I said sternly, "I want to wait. I want to know what it feels like to hold back everything until that perfect right moment. It's never meant anything to me before, but it does with you. With you it means everything. My first time wasn't memorable, but yours is going to be."

"Thank you," she smiled, about to lean forward to hug me then realized my torso was still covered in blue slushie and lifted my palm to her lips instead. "It means a lot to me that you respect me like that and are willing to wait with me."

"I'm clean," I said suddenly as the thought hit my head and she gave me a half surprised, half confused look, and I was mentally smacking myself in the head for blurting that out, "I mean, I know I've slept with a lot of people, but I just want you to know, I don't have anything."

She mouthed an 'Oh' and her eyes looked away for a moment before looking back at me, "Can we not ever mention again the amount of people you've been with? It kinda freaks me out."

"Never again," I agreed, tucking her hair between her ears and studying her face, reminded again just how much I loved looking at her.

She got up off me and I suppressed a disappointed sigh from the loss of her, but watched as she wet some paper towels and dropped them on my chest, "You better do it yourself. I wouldn't want to tease you again."

She was smiling slyly and her eyes watched with great interest as I wiped the slushie from myself, noticing how her eyes darkened as I slipped the paper towel beneath my bra.

"I don't even have an extra shirt," I sighed, tossing the soiled paper towel into the garbage and getting up from the chair. I pulled my sopping shirt from the sink, twisting it to wring out the water and looked over the large blue stains with dismay. It had been one of my favourite shirts.

Rachel moved towards her school bag by the entrance of the bathroom and said, "I think I have an extra t-shirt. It's probably going to be small, but it's better than wet and stained.

She held up the hot pink t-shirt with a picture of a cartoon pig on it and I stared back at her.

"What," she said looking at the front of the shirt and shrugged, "Pigs are cute."

I sighed, taking the shirt from her, before glancing down at my uncomfortably wet bra that was starting to itch, "Don't have an extra bra in there do you?"

"Sorry," she said shaking her head before sighing, "Even if I did, it definitely wouldn't fit. You're a little bit more... gifted."

I chuckled as I pulled the pink shirt over my head, noticing that it smelled entirely of Rachel, "I like your boobs."

Her eyes turned away as she blushed again, but they darted back to me and she tried to hide her laugh as her eyes looked the shirt up and down.

"What," I asked, turning towards the mirror and glancing at my reflection. The t-shirt wasn't overly tight, maybe a little in the bust area, but it only covered down to my navel, leaving a large patch of skin uncovered above my low rise jeans. The shirt looked like it was meant for a toddler to wear. "Pink looks good on you."

I rolled my eyes, trying to pull down the bottom of the shirt and stretch it out a little, "My tongue looks good on you."

She coughed a little, obviously not ready for that kind of response, and nervously began fixing her hair in the mirror.

"You coming to motocross practice after school," I asked, tying back my wet hair in a ponytail.

"If you are asking if I am coming to a dirt pit to drool over my leather clad girlfriend straddling a motorbike," her eyes drifting upwards dreamily as she spoke, "Yes, I will be there to cheer you on."

"It's kinda not fair," I said, taking hold of her hips as I pressed up behind her, watching her reflection in the mirror, "You get to see me in your leather fantasy, but I don't get to see you all dressed up."

Her eyes met mine in the mirror, "You're talking about the football attire again aren't you?"

"Maybe," I blushed, it was my favourite for now, but I could definitely imagine her in a multitude of outfits that would turn me on.

"I feel like it would only create needless unresolved sexual frustration," she smirked, bumping her butt backwards so that it pressed hard to my centre and the arousal I had been suppressing since she had straddled me was instantly back full force.

I groaned and nodded, "You're right, no need to fuel the fire."

"For now," she whispered and she was biting her lip again and I was sure she had to know how hot that was.

"I think we missed math class," I said, lightly kissing the hickey already present on her neck.

Her head rolled back against my shoulder as my tongue licked the spot and her hands reached back to tightly grip the tops of my thighs.

"I'll be sure to pay extra attention during tomorrows class," she said, her eyes closed and let out a soft whimper as I bit down gently on the sensitive flesh, "Now who's teasing."

"Like Quinn's mantra before she got knocked up," I smiled, mumbling against her neck, my fingertips digging into her hipbones, "It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing."

The sound of the bathroom door opening caused both mine and Rachel's heads to whip towards the door to see the intruder and our bodies froze together.

"Sorry, wrong bathroom," the startled dark haired girl said, looking at both Rachel and I in our compromising position before immediately turning back around and leaving.

I noticed Rachel's breathing had picked up when I went back to nibble her ear and I smirked, "Voyeur."

"Oh please," she retorted with a forced laugh, "Does that really surprise you?"

I thought about that, Rachel's need for an audience and the attention to constantly be on her. I gave the shell of her ear a long lick and whispered, "Nope."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Another short chapter, but I think updating twice in one night makes up for it right?

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><p>I rode to motocross practice with Jay like I did every Thursday. Rachel wanted to give me a ride, but I've always had a superstitious practice where I have to ride in the same vehicle as my bike in order to have a good run. It may sound silly, but I hear lots of athletes and performers have some kind of ritual they follow, too. When I told Rachel about it I thought she was going to laugh at me, but instead she gave me an understanding smile and said, "I draw a star on my hip with a black Sharpie every time I have to go out on stage. Even if it's a performance for Glee club, if I know I'm going to set foot on the stage in the auditorium, I have to do it before I can walk on."<p>

I had lifted up her shirt slightly to see if she was wearing one today, but she pulled her shirt back down quickly, eyes darting around the parking lot to make sure no one had noticed and said, "I didn't perform today!"

"What are you freaking out about," I questioned, confused by her reaction to me pulling her shirt up, "You showed the entire school your stomach when you decided to wear that Britney Spears school girl outfit for a day."

"I've been spending so much time with you lately and when I'm not spending time with you, I'm thinking about you and by the time I fall asleep it's so late," she explained and I was trying to figure out where this was going, but it was sounding like it was going to be another Rachel Berry rant and those were so hard to follow, "So really I'm only getting about five or six hours of sleep a night and that's not even close to the minimum of eight hours that I require to rest my voice and keep my complexion looking healthy and clear-"

"I thought I saw a zit today," I teased, interrupting her and picking a clear spot on her chin to stare at.

She gasped, covering her chin and bent down to look at it in her side mirror. Finding nothing there she turned back and glared at me, while giving a hard shove to my shoulder, "Anyways, I've been over sleeping in the mornings."

"What does that have to do with you freaking out about your shirt being lifted," I asked, I was pretty sure I had paid attention to her entire speech, but was still clueless at how they linked.

"I haven't been doing my morning workout routine for the past week and a half," she said, dropping her eyes guiltily, "and I skipped ballet practice twice to be with you."

"You did," I asked, feeling a little guilty myself for keeping her from doing the things she enjoyed doing without even knowing it.

"I have ballet on Tuesdays at six," she nodded, "But this week was the dinner at the country club and the week before, I was just enjoying spending time with you."

"Rach," I said softly, hearing Jay honk the truck's horn from behind me and I gave him the finger without turning away from her, "I don't want you to stop doing the things you love to spend time with me. We've got all the time in the world and you need to keep up your dance if you want to be on that Broadway stage."

She smiled and once again I was confused because it didn't seem like the right reaction, "What?"

"You're so different from Finn," she said, shaking her head.

"Uh yeah. Six inches shorter and different plumbing," I said, raising an eyebrow. "And I'm more talented."

"He always told me to blow off my responsibilities to spend time with him," she said, "But you make me feel bad for missing them."

"I don't want to make you feel bad for anything," I said and Jay honked again, "I'm sorry, I gotta go before he takes off, but I like that you want to spend time with me, I just don't want you to lose sight of your dreams."

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and lifted her shirt at the same time, letting my fingers slide down her stomach and smiling, "You've got nothing to worry about."

I caught sight of her blush for just a moment before turning and running down the parking lot to Jay's waiting truck.

"Jesus, Britt," Jay groaned, shifting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking lot, "Next time you get five minutes and then I'm leaving."

I looked down at the clock in the dash and realized I had been standing with her for twenty minutes, "Sorry."

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><p>When I got to the sand hills, Rachel was close behind and was already parked and standing outside her car by the time we had the trailer open and ramp pulled out. I walked into the trailer and got my bike and as I walked it down the ramp I heard Rachel's shrill scream, "Yay Brittany!"<p>

I glanced up at her and saw her jumping up and down, clapping her hands together excitedly and when she saw I was looking at her she raised a hand high into the air and gave an exaggerated wave. Some of the guys began to snicker and I couldn't help but blush. I stood my bike beside the guys, glaring at them as I laid my helmet down on the seat and walked towards her.

"Was that too much," she asked as I got closer to her.

I laughed, because even though it was a little embarrassing having my own personal cheerleader, I still wouldn't have it any other way, "Just enough."

Her enthusiastic grin made me laugh again and I said, "So I'm going to practice the run for half an hour and then for the last half of practice I'll come back and pick you up and I'll take you on the ride."

"You don't have to," she said, but I knew she was only saying it for my sake, the look in her brown eyes was telling me she was dying to get back on.

"I'd be happy to take you for a ride," I winked at her and her cheeks went pink from the innuendo.

"Brittany," Jay called and I turned to find him waving me towards the group.

"See you in thirty," I said to Rachel before hurrying towards the team.

I sat down on my bike as Jay began the meeting, my eyes drifting towards Rachel and taking my attention with them. She was wearing her pink plaid skirt today. I liked that one. With her white socks pulled up to her knees. I still couldn't believe the way she looked the evening before, when I had pulled away from our heavy make out session and her skirt was around her waist. Her panties had been so wet and I had done that. I couldn't wait until I got to taste-

"Brittany," Jay shouted, snapping my attention back to him.

"I was listening," I protested, but hoped to god he didn't ask me to repeat what he had just said because the only thing on my mind was Rachel's wet panties- and now my wet panties.

Jay shot me a dubious look and then said seriously, "This is our last practice before the competition on Sunday. You're our best rider, Britt, and if we want our team to come out on top we need you to keep focused today. We can't have a repeat of last week's practice, I don't think I've ever seen you bail out so many times."

"If we wanna talk bail outs, let's talk about the newbie," I shot back, pointing to Derrick, the newest member of our team, "I haven't seen him stick a single landing."

"She's got a point," another member, Tyler, agreed, "If he doesn't pull something off today, I really don't think he should be competing on Sunday."

Jay gave Derrick, who was looking pretty uncomfortable, a hard look and nodded, "They're right. I need to see something totally sick from you today or I'm pulling you from freestyle and you're just gonna run supercross. Which brings me to my next point. I heard word that there's gonna be some heavy hitter scouts in the crowd on Sunday. This is what we've all be working for so if you're serious about motocross, you better be bringing your game."

I felt a burst of excitement rush through me. There'd always been talk that a scout could be watching when we go to competitions, but the rumours never turned out to be anything, and I was definitely serious about motocross. I wasn't a novice to competitions. Rachel may have been winning dancing competitions and pageants when she was a tiny tot, but I was winning dirt bike races at the same time and before that, I was racing my Power Wheels. If there was going to be a scout at the competition they were definitely going to notice me.

"Alright, everybody be safe and have a good ride," Jay finished and we all secured our helmets to our heads and kicked our bikes into gear. Rachel was jumping up and down and cheering again as I rounded a corner near her and I gave her a quick wave before focusing my full attention on the run.

I rode hard, probably harder than I ever have. The goal in mind was driving me to attempt all the tricks I had been holding out on and although I bailed out once when I couldn't stick the landing on an attempted 'tsunami', I nailed the 'suicide can' and 'superman seat grab' earning extra loud squeals from Rachel that I could hear across the track.

Derrick was still bailing and even though I kept trying to give him pointers, I was pretty sure he was not interested in taking advice from a girl. I gave up after the fourth try and told myself I did all I could and if he broke his neck it was his own damn fault.

I checked my watch and after realizing that my thirty minutes were up, I was excited to bring Rachel in with my ride. Something about having a hot chick on the back of your bike was ridiculously appealing. I rode my bike towards her and watched her face somehow grow even more excited as she realized it was her turn to ride with me. The helmet hid my amused smile as I realized I really had the greatest girlfriend.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I could see Derrick take way too much air on a hill and lost control of his bike. He dove away, but the bike was sent hurdling in the opposite direction and before it even started moving I knew where it was going. Everything happened in slow motion, like in the movies. I wasn't thinking, there was no time for that, my body was just reacting to the situation. I leaped off my bike as it was still moving at full tilt, but didn't even stumble as my athletic legs tore into the dirt towards Rachel.

She was only a few feet away and I was pretty sure I was screaming at her to move, but I really couldn't tell. She hadn't moved, her body frozen in place, watching as the dirt bike barrelled towards herself and suddenly she regained the use of her feet, but she just took a step back, bumping against her car behind her.

It didn't matter, I was there already, standing in front of her and through my visor I could see her wide, panicked brown eyes fixed on mine before everything went black.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long, and after the cliff hanger, but now that I'm back in school, updates are going to be less frequent.. I'm going to try to post one every weekend, but it really depends how much school work I've got. On the upside, this is my longest chapter yet. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews and I hope everyone continues to enjoy this story!

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><p>I remember the singing. This perfect voice that choirs of angels couldn't compare with. Maybe it was an angel singing. I knew the song being sung, somewhere in my mind I knew that I knew it, the most beautiful song that could've only been created by some kind of mythical creatures, but I couldn't remember the name or any of the words. Sometimes the voice sounded like it was singing right into my ear, then the next it was so far away and I had to strain my ears to hear it. Everything was so dark and full of inexplicable nothingness, but this voice was pulling me somewhere, I didn't know where but I knew it was somewhere that I needed to go. I tried to follow it through the abyss, unsure if I was going the right way or the wrong way, until suddenly the voice was right there with me and I opened my eyes, blinded by an overpowering white light.<p>

"Brittany," I heard the voice say and this glowing figure towered over me, but the light was so blinding I couldn't see her face. I tried to blink my eyes into focus, but I could still only make out soft brown curls framing her face.

"Are you an angel," I mumbled, finding it so hard to move my lips to create the proper sounds for each word.

There was a soft laugh, almost as beautiful as the voice, and then I felt warm fingers stroking my face.

"It's me," she said, and I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, forcing them to focus.

"Rachel," I asked, when her full face finally came into view and then my eyes drifted past her, to the blinding white, which in focus, was a sterilized white hospital room. It suddenly all made sense, the voice of an angel, it was Rachel singing.

"Of course," Rachel smiled, but her eyes were swollen and red like she had been crying for a long time, and through her smile she looked so sad.

"What were you singing," I mumbled again, my lips felt like they were made of concrete, so heavy and dry and when I tried to wet them with my tongue, it felt like I was rubbing sand paper on them.

Rachel's eyes turned downwards and she looked embarrassed. I couldn't understand why because the song had sounded so flawless. I couldn't remember it anymore, but I remembered the feeling it gave me.

"My Headband," she said, biting her lip trying to hide her large smile.

"I need that as my ringtone," I said, closing my eyes to the pounding in my head.

I heard her soft laugh again, "I don't know how you even heard that song before. I only sang it to Finn and he thought it was terrible."

"I was walking by the choir room," I muttered, trying to remember that day that seemed so long ago now, but my mind was so fuzzy, "Your voice made me stop. It always makes me stop."

"Do you know where you are," I don't think I've ever heard her voice so soft before and I felt the bed dip beside me as she sat down.

"Hospital," I stated, groaning as the pain began to get worse.

"Do you remember what happened," she asked and her fingers were back, stroking my cheek and distracting me from the pain.

I opened my eyes, looking up at the plain white ceiling as I searched my brain for what happened. It was there, but the details were hazy, "We were at motocross practice and Derrick bailed out on another trick. I-I got hit by something."

"A bike," Rachel said and my eyes shot towards her with shock.

I got hit by a bike and was knocked unconscious. I had heard stories about people who ended up in a coma for months or years and wake up not realizing that much time had past and suddenly I was panicked by the fact that I had no idea how long I had been out for.

"How long have I been unconscious," I asked, prepared for the worst news. Maybe months had gone by and I didn't even know it.

Rachel checked the screen on my phone that was in her hands, "About an hour."

"Oh," I sighed with relief, relaxing back into the pillow, "Am I okay?"

"You're lucky," she smiled, "The doctor said if you weren't still wearing your helmet you would've died. The tire just clipped the back of your head, but you're going to need a new helmet."

She bent down to pick something off the floor and held up my helmet, now split down the middle in two pieces.

"Cool," I nodded, a little impressed and maybe a little smug about what I had just survived.

Her smile disappeared as she looked down, sadly, at the helmet, before placing it back on the floor, "The helmet may have saved your life, but you saved mine. I should've moved, if I had just ran out of the way we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have had to sit at your bedside spending forty-five minutes trying to decide what the best song to sing to you while in your coma and realizing that I didn't have a song for us."

"My Headband is my favourite song," I assured her. I could see she was trying to be strong and trying not to cry, but knowing Rachel her tears were inevitable.

"You saved my life, Brittany," she sniffled, her swollen eyes fixed on mine, "You didn't even hesitate before running between me and the bike."

I shrugged, "You would've done the same for me."

Her eyes turned down, "I would like to think so, but I don't know if I have that hero mentality. I can be quite selfish and-"

"Rach," I interrupted, gently, "You act selfish to preserve yourself. It's not who you are. Before we all banded together in Glee you had no one, nothing to keep you company, but your talent. You had no friends, no brothers or sisters, how can anyone blame you for wanting to protect the one thing that was always there for you, your voice. Just because you're driven to be the best, doesn't mean you don't care about other people. I don't have a doubt in my mind that you wouldn't save me if I needed it."

She stared at me long and hard, the tears spilling down her cheeks and finally she inhaled a trembling breath, "How are you so smart even when you've been hit by a flying dirt bike?"

"Because it's not about being smart," I explained, wishing I could just sit up and wrap my arms around her but my head was still throbbing hard, "It's about saying what you feel."

She sniffled, wiping at her falling tears before leaning down and giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"I think I need you to rub my palm," I sighed, the pain was intensifying and I tried to lift my left arm to give her my hand. Nothing happened. I tried to move my fingers and I couldn't even feel them. I tried to sit up to see, my right hand frantically grabbing at the sheets to try to push myself up, but Rachel laid her hands forcefully on my shoulders pushing me back down. "W-What's wrong with my arm. Is it still there?"

"Calm down," Rachel soothed, her hands stroking my shoulders up and down to try and calm me down, "It's okay, it's still there. It's just broken."

I felt like I was having a heart attack, but when her hand carefully lifted my arm to show that it was in a cast, and still very much attached to me, and her fingers gently began to rub the feeling back into mine, I managed to relax a little.

"They gave you some pain killers and said you're gonna be a little loopy," she explained, continuing her delicate massage of my fingertips, being careful not to aggravate my broken arm.

"How did I get the broken arm," I asked, confused.

"After the bike hit your head, you fell to the ground and then the bike smashed my windshield and ricocheted off, landing on your arm," Rachel explained, bringing each of my fingertips to her lips to kiss the pads.

"Talk about bad luck," I sighed, "So how long do I have to stay here?"

"The Doctor explained that once you've woken up they will just have to gave you a quick test to make sure you didn't break your brain and then you need a parent to sign you out," she said with a smile.

"Broke my brain," I questioned, smirking back at her.

"Highly technical term," she nodded seriously before breaking into a smile again. She held up my phone and added, "I had to go through your phone to get your mom's number. She's on her way."

"Oh," I said and then it dawned on me that she went through my phone and all of the things I should've deleted by now but I hadn't, "Those pictures are really old and I completely forgot they were even-"

"I just looked for your mom's number," she assured me, "I didn't look at anything else."

I tried not to show my relief, making a mental note to delete the naked pictures of Santana she had texted me a month ago when she was trying to entice me to come over. She succeeded, but the moment was now no more than a happy memory.

"So how can I repay you for saving my life," Rachel asked, bringing my fingers back to her lips but this time she bit down lightly on my index finger. I don't think she meant for it to be sexual, she did it as if it was a natural thing to do, but I have to say that the feeling and the look of my finger in between her teeth like that, well it was definitely taking my mind off the headache.

"You're going to come home with me and nurse me back to health," I said definitively, taking her hand with my good one and lacing our fingers together.

Her face grew nervous and she stared down at our hands, "I don't know."

"You're car is smashed so we're gonna have to give you a ride anyway," I persuaded, "You may as well come back with me."

"Okay," she agreed, giving me a lopsided smile and leaned in, kissing me on the lips. She backed away with a sour look on her face, "Have you been rinsing with Dr. Pepper again?"

"Give me a break," I rolled my eyes, "I got knocked unconscious by a flying bike."

"Okay," she said, narrowing her eyes at me, "I'll let it go this time. But I want you to know that oral hygiene is very important to me."

"Go get the doctor," I ordered, pointing to the door, with mock annoyance.

She tossed her head back and tried to give me a defiant look, but she caved and got up from the bed, leaning in to give me another kiss on the lips she stopped and thought better of it, kissing my forehead instead, before leaving.

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><p>The doctor's test was pretty juvenile: <em>What day is it? Who's the president? If you were an animal what kind would you be?<em> Okay, maybe not the last one, but it would've been an interesting question. I'd definitely pick a cat so I could climb on the top of door frames, wait for someone to walk through and then pounce on them screaming _CAT ATTACK!_

Suffice to say, I passed the test with flying colours and he gave me the grim, obvious, news that I would not be competing in the motocross competition on Sunday, nor would I be getting back on a bike in at least a month, if I was lucky. Rachel looked absolutely miserable as he said those words, the guilt so clear on her face I thought she might burst into tears again, but I made sure to stay strong. Inside, I was completely crushed and very angry, not at Rachel of course, but that idiot Derrick who tried to kill my girlfriend. We would definitely be having some choice words the next time I saw him around the playground.

I didn't tell Rachel about the scout, I was going to tell her about it once practice was over, but then the accident happened. I felt like if I told her now it would only make her feel worse and that was the last thing I wanted. I was trying to keep my spirit up for Rachel's sake, she looked like she was going to break down into tears at any moment and I felt like I needed to be strong for her. I saw her cry far too often.

On the inside, I wanted to cry like a little kid. It seemed like all my dreams were being dangled just out of my reach. Rachel may have been this new, wonderful person in my life that I was very thankful for, but just like her Broadway dream, I had dreams of my own too. To have them squashed like that, for now, was pretty heart breaking. Who knew if I'd ever get another chance at this?

My mother finally showed up another hour later, apologizing that she just couldn't get away from work. Sounded familiar. Her daughter lying unconscious in the hospital and she's busy saving the world from insanity. To say that I was a little bitter that the rest of the world came before me to my parents was a bit of an understatement.

"Thank you for waiting with her, Rachel," my mother said, but it could've sounded a little more sincere.

Rachel gave me a confused look and then replied, "Of course, I wouldn't just leave her here."

"That's nice," my mother said, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't listening as she began tapping the keys on her Blackberry, "Hurry up, Brittany, and get changed. I left an important meeting for this."

"Sorry to trouble you," I muttered, throwing back the hospital sheet, noticing some nasty looking bruises on my shins that I assumed were from the fall, and Rachel gasped at the sight of them.

My mother glanced up from her Blackberry and noted, "You should ice those when you get home and honestly Brittany, when was the last time you lotioned your legs? You've got armadillo legs."

I pulled the sheet back over my legs, suddenly feel self-conscious in front of Rachel, for probably the first time. I didn't know how my mother always managed to act like 'mother of the year' one day and then beat my self esteem into the ground the next. Thankfully one of the nurses came in instructing my mother needed to come with her to sign paperwork, leaving Rachel and I alone.

"That was mean," Rachel whispered, sadly, almost as if she was trying to apologize for my mother.

"She must be having a bad day," I shrugged, trying to pretend like it didn't bother me.

"You don't have armadillo legs," Rachel soothed, pulling the sheet off me, "They're perfect Brittany legs."

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and Rachel wrapped me in her arms. I rested my head against her chest and it was a nice change to be in this position. I could hear her heart beating inside her and it was such a strange thing to hear a rhythm coming from inside someone. She broke away a moment later, the hug not lasting near long enough for my liking, and picked up a stack of carefully folded clothes.

"You folded my clothes," I smirked as she placed them on the bed beside me.

"Well you weren't going to," she quipped, turning around to face the window to give me some privacy.

"I guess," I laughed, struggling to try and reach the ties at the back of my hospital gown. The third try strained my shoulder and a bolt of pain shot all through my arm, up my neck and into that sore spot in the back of my head. I stared at Rachel's back nervously, while I tried to work up the courage to ask for her help and finally I took a deep breath and said, "I-I need your help."

She turned around slowly and looked about as nervous as I felt.

"I can't reach the ties," I said, motioning behind me with a tilt of my head.

She hesitated for a moment, chewing on the inside of her cheek, then stepped towards me, reaching around and feeling for the ties. I felt her fingertips graze my shoulder blades and then my bare spine as she found the top tie and tugged it loose. The next one was much lower, at the small of my back, and I watched her face get closer to mine as she bent down lower to reach them. Her lips were so close to mine I could feel her breath and it was literally torture to be that close to her and not be kissing her.

I felt the last tie come loose and the shotty design of the gown, of course, made it slide right off my shoulders and onto my lap. Her face was still mere centimetres from mine and I could feel my cheeks growing warm.

"Don't look," I whispered, but I didn't make any motion to cover myself and Rachel's eyes were locked on mine. That same darkness clouded her usual brown eyes once again and all I could think of was how long I would be able to wait to have sex with her without imploding.

"Not looking," Rachel whispered back and she wasn't, her eyes were still trained on mine and the only tell she was giving was the arousal in her eyes and the huskiness in her whisper.

"You're gonna be the death of me," I swallowed, mentally kicking myself for the poor choice of words considering why we were there.

She ignored it though, blindly sliding her hands up my bare shoulders to my neck and said, "You're the one who's half naked."

I licked my lips and let out and embarrassing groan, "Please tell me you're fighting this as much as I am."

She blinked and a small, telling smile spread across her lips, "Yeah, but as glamorous as it would be to lose my virginity in a hospital room, while you have a concussion, and while your mother could potentially walk in at any moment..."

"Details," I chuckled, pulling the gown up to cover my breasts and Rachel's eyes finally left mine when I was safely covered.

I got dressed with Rachel's back turned, with a lot of difficulty I might add. As hard as I tried I couldn't get the button fastened on my leather pants and when I was fully dressed, I got Rachel to do it for me. I skipped the bra, deciding that I was not in the mood to fumble with tiny hooks, but realized that probably wasn't the best idea since I was still wearing the pink shirt Rachel had given me and it was pretty thin. It didn't matter though, I felt like I had a pretty good excuse for looking like I belonged downtown after dark.

The doctor sent me home with some heavy duty pain killers and told me to come back if I started vomiting, as if that thought wouldn't cross my mind. My mother spent the entire ride home on her cellphone and her constant chatter was only aggravating my pounding migraine. I had opted to ride in the back seat with Rachel and after ten solid minutes of her insistent voice, I groaned and buried my head into Rachel's chest. She wrapped her arms loosely around my head, covering my ear carefully with one hand to block out some of the noise. It helped for awhile, until the beat of her heart began to pick up its pace and grow louder with each thud. I'm sure any other time it would be a soothing and wonderful sound, but with my head in its current state, it was anything but.

"I'm just going to drop you guys off at the door," my mother said as she pulled into the driveway, "I need to get back to work. You'll be fine on your own, right Britt?"

I shrugged, I was always fine on my own, "I've got Rachel to keep me company."

"Excellent," she said, coming to a complete stop and continuing her phone conversation.

After Rachel got out of the SUV, she rushed around to my side and helped me out. She wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me close to her as I put my good arm around her shoulders. I leaned some of my weight on her, but was careful not to put too much on her because she was so much smaller and although I knew she was stronger than she looked, her tiny frame made me cautious. She led me into my house, up the stairs and into my room, sitting me down on my bed before going back and shutting my door like I always did.

"Do you need anything," she asked, "Water or something to eat or something?"

I shook my head, my stomach was still turning from the painkillers they had given me and the concussion, "No, I just want to change into my pajamas and go to sleep."

The September heat wave was continuing in full force and my leather pants were growing increasingly disgusting. I wasn't even looking forward to stripping down to pajamas, instead wishing I could strip down naked. Even our house, which had central air, was not used to the extreme humidity and couldn't keep up with the heat. Rachel was shining with sweat too and she was pulling at the front of her shirt to try to fan herself off, with one hand, while using the back of her other hand to wipe the sweat off her brow. Somehow, sweaty Rachel looked delicious.

"Do you want me to find you some pajamas," she asked, glancing towards my closet.

"Actually," I said slowly, drawing out the word, nervous about her reaction to my next question, "It's really hot, would you mind if I just slept in my underwear."

Rachel shifted her weight from one foot to the other, chewing on her lip as she sucked in a soft breath and then tried to cover up her reaction with a shrug, "I suppose it's nothing I haven't seen before."

I took that as a yes, because my head was starting to swirl again and I needed to lay down to make the world stop spinning. I tried to stand up but her insistent hands on my shoulders kept me from doing so,

"What do you need," she asked calmly, her hand brushing back the bangs that had stuck to my damp forehead.

"I'm not wearing a bra," I sighed, closing my eyes because the movement had caused the dizziness to increase, "I just need a sports bra from my drawer."

"Okay, hold on," she whispered and the loss of her hands made me open my eyes and watch her disappear into my closet. I heard some shuffling of drawers as she tried to find the right one, then finally emerged holding a white sports bra, "Is this one okay? I just grabbed the first one I saw."

"Yeah," I said, closing my eyes again and feeling myself beginning to sway. I could feel the nausea beginning to build, but I refused to let it take me over, because there was no way I was going back to the hospital tonight. She handed me the bra and turned around as I immediately pulled the shirt over my head. I fumbled with my sports bra, trying to maneuver it over my bulky cast and getting the straps caught a few times before I finally got it on properly.

I must've groaned or something, because Rachel's head tilted to the side and she asked softly, "Do you need some help?"

The pain in my arm and head had become unbearable and I didn't have the strength to try to stand up and try to undo the button on my pants. The simple everyday things I did seemed like the most impossible tasks and combined with the pain, I was extremely frustrated.

"Rachel," her name came out as a fatigued whine and Rachel quickly turned towards me, closing the distance between us.

"Lie down," she whispered, nudging my shoulders down so that I was lying flat on my back with my legs still hanging over the edge. She got to work, kneeling at my feet to first remove my shoes and socks before standing back up and leaning over me. I could feel her fingers trembling against my lower abdomen as she tried to undo the button on my pants and after her third try, I held her hands with my good one.

"Relax," I groaned, cracking an eye open to look up at her.

"I've never taken off anybody's pants before," she said nervously, but she managed to regain control of her fingers and got the button undone.

"This is different," I said, lifting my hips off the bed as she slowly peeled the leather from my legs, "It's not supposed to be sexy."

I could feel her fingertips on the tops of my thighs after my pants had been completely removed and she said, "Everything is sexy with you."

I forced a smile through my haze and then crawled to the top of my bed, resting my head on my pillow and looking over at Rachel. She shut off the lights and I waited a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness before I could see her in the moonlight again. I saw her hesitate at the side of the bed and I knew she was trying to decide whether she should lay down beside me clothed, or strip down like I had.

After at least a minute had gone by and she hadn't moved I whispered, "No pressure."

I heard her soft sigh and then watched as her hands gripped the bottom of her shirt. She hesitated again and it felt like ages had gone by before I finally heard her take a deep breath and pull her shirt over her head. I couldn't see much in the dark, but I was pretty sure her bra matched the colour of the shirt she had given me to wear. Her skin was glistening in the moonlight with the sheen of sweat and through all of my pain, I still couldn't keep myself from straining my eyes to watch her undress. The silence that had fallen in the room was broken by the sound of her zipper being dragged down and her skirt followed her shirt to the floor. Her panties didn't match the bra, they were white with some kind of a pattern that I couldn't quite make out in the low lighting and I didn't want to stare too hard incase she could see me looking. She bent over to pull off each sock and then straightened back up. I had seen this much of her before when she wore the bikini, but this was different. When I had seen her then, it was before we were together, before I had admitted to anyone, nevermind myself, that I had romantic feelings towards her. Now I knew I did and having her half naked standing next to me was completely different. If I had felt even a little bit better than I did, I don't know if I would've been able to hold back.

I didn't know what she was so worried about. Her body looked amazing and I wondered what she saw when she looked in the mirror. I was a little curious if she had a warped sense of body image and was a little guilty that the Cheerios and I might be to blame for it. In freshman year, Santana picked out the nickname 'Blubber-Berry' for her, even though she was never really overweight. All she had was a bit of baby fat in her cheeks and arms, but we were always pretty good at picking out people's insecurities and beating them up with them. I think it may have taken a week of being constantly called that name for her to drastically change her diet. Suddenly she went vegan and the only thing I ever saw her eat at lunch was half of a salad, the other half she only pushed around her plate with a heart-wrenching dejected look on her face. I wouldn't be surprised if that was when her morning ritual of exercises began as well, because a month later the baby fat had vanished and Santana settled on her favourite new nickname 'Hobbit'. Now it just alternated to whatever she felt like calling her that day.

I forced myself to sit back up over the edge of the bed, fighting through the pain in my head because I couldn't be half naked and her half naked and not make something out of it. She took a step back, not expecting me to move, but my good hand reached out and caught the curve of her hip, pulling her back to me until she was straddling my legs. I looked up at her as I ran my hand along her stomach, feeling the muscles contract as her body reacted to touches she wasn't used to feeling.

"Do you even know how beautiful you are," I whispered, my eyes fixed on hers as I tried to read her reaction. Her eyes glanced away as she shyly tucked her hair behind her ears, and my hand went back to her hip, giving it a firm squeeze until her eyes returned to mine, "I mean it, Rachel."

Her hands found my cheeks, her thumbs stroking the corners of my mouth and then my lips before she leaned down and pressed her lips to mine. It was gentle at first, but as my hand snaked up her slick back she deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue past my lips and tangling with mine. I felt the bed sag on one side of me and then the other as she placed a knee on either side and suddenly she was sitting on my lap, with only a thin piece of cotton separating her butt from my bare thighs. We both moaned into the kiss when we felt the contact and it was like fireworks all over again. My hand on her back travelled downwards, gripping her butt through her thin panties as I ground her down against me. She broke the kiss with another soft moan, pressing her forehead to mine as she rolled her hips, this time without my encouragement, and then moved her head down to my shoulder, pressing her lips softly against my neck.

My head was beginning to swirl again and the room began to spin, unfortunately not in a good way. I halted her movements with my hand and leaned back away from her.

"What's wrong," she asked breathlessly, her hand trailing from the side of my neck down my chest and then hooking her fingers into the front of my sports bra.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I sighed, swallowing hard to try to make the lump in my throat go away. She immediately pulled away from me and rose to her feet.

"Please don't throw up on me again," she said and through the moonlight I could see her crinkle her nose, "Being thrown up on once is enough, thank you."

I forced a chuckle as I laid back on my bed, "I still feel really bad about that."

She crawled across me to get to the other side of the bed, careful not to hurt my broken arm, or create too much movement in the bed, and then settled onto her back. She gently pulled me against her and I rested my head on her chest, wrapping a leg around hers and letting my cast rest against her stomach.

"Too heavy," I mumbled the question, referring to my cast on her stomach.

Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling loosely at the strands as her other hand massaged the fingers poking through my cast, "Just right."

I felt my head slowly begin to settle, the feel of Rachel beneath me and surrounding me, somehow making me feel better and after a long silence she whispered, "You're beautiful, too."

"Thanks," I said, smiling to myself. It felt really good to hear her say it. To be honest, nobody really said it to me very often.

"Thanks for saving my life," she said, her hand stilling in my hair for a moment before returning to its previous rhythm.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat," I replied, meaning every word. "But let's not make a habit of it."

"I will certainly try not to."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Just wanted to add this before the school week starts again *sigh*. Boo... I'd much rather write fic than go to school. Enjoy :).

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><p>The feeling of light fingers grazing up and down my spine slowly lulled me out of the dream world and even though I wasn't cold, the touch sent shivers all through my body. I felt every single hair on my body stand up and I broke out in goosebumps all over. I opened my eyes and from where my head was resting on her chest, all I could see was her breasts nuzzled in their hot pink bra.<p>

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she said, the pressure of her fingers increasing and causing me to shudder against her again, "Are you cold?"

We were still laying on top of the blankets and with the sun now up, I didn't have to strain my eyes to catch darkened glimpses of her body. It was all there for me to see and I could see now that the pattern on her panties was pink and floral and remarkably similar to the wallpaper of my room. It was a little weird. I was used to seeing Santana's Victoria's Secret thongs, not little flower patterns, but I figured as long as they didn't have cartoon animals on them or Sponge Bob, I should be fine.

I lifted my head off her chest, laying it on the pillow next to hers, and let my cast arm slide slowly down her stomach, catching my thumb in the waistband of her panties and hooking it there.

"Not cold," I said, watching her expression change as my thumb began tight circles on her hip, a foreshadowing on what was to come in the future on a different area.

"I guess you're feeling better," she gasped as my thumb teasingly pulled the material less than half an inch down her hip.

I did feel better, a lot better. My headache was completely gone and so far, no dizziness at all. There was still a dull throb where my arm was broken, but I had definitely had to deal with worse pain in the past. I wasn't sure what the female equivalent for 'morning wood' was called, but I had it, just like almost every other morning. Having Rachel beneath me, half naked, was a mixture between a blessing and a curse. There was so much skin I had never touched or tasted before and I wanted all of it. I wanted to know all of her.

"Good as new," I smiled, taking her earlobe between my teeth and sucking it lightly before giving it a tug.

Her breath caught again and I felt her hips lift slightly off the bed as the fingers on my spine turned into nails digging in my flesh. It was definitely a good hurt. I guess I forgot about holding back, because the low throaty moan that passed through her lips caused me to move from her ear to suck on her neck and in that movement my hand pulled her panties further down her hip. With my head buried in the crook of her neck, I couldn't see the skin I was uncovering, but I was trying to distract her with my lips while trying to strip her completely naked. I wasn't a bad person, I remembered how she wanted her first time, the romance, the moonlight, the soft music, but my body was making demands that I couldn't refuse. I wasn't used to having a warm, sexy body beside me that was a no touch zone.

I combined the lips on her neck with teeth and bit down roughly as I sucked hard and in response she did the exact move I wanted her to. She let out a loud moan, lifting her hips up off the bed and as soon as her butt was off the bed, I pulled hard on her panties until they slid down the curve of her ass. Her hand shot to my fingers, pressing them down against her hip and holding them there to still my movement. I felt the purple fiberglass of the palm of my cast digging into her, but her hold on my fingers wouldn't let up as she began to pant and squirm beneath me. I raised my head from her neck, trying to get a look down her body, because I knew I had to have pulled them down enough to uncover the area that I was dying to get a taste of the most, but to my dismay, although her panties were sitting incredibly low, they were still managing to hide her from view. I gave a sigh of frustration since my hand was now locked against her hip, unable to continue my goal to get her naked, and turned my head to look her in the eyes. Her head was tilted back, straining her neck as her mouth opened and closed with each gasp, but her eyes were on me, dark and half lidded as if she wasn't sure whether she wanted to beg me to stop or keep going. I dug my thumb into the dip in her hip, stretching it out until I could feel the beginning of the 'V' in her pelvic crease and her hips bucked upwards in response, against the thigh that I had slid between her legs. I could feel how wet she was against my thigh and I pushed it harder against her, creating more friction as I tried to stretch my thumb out even further down her crease.

"I can't," she groaned in frustration, her nails digging painfully into my back and the fingers she was holding against her hip, "Not yet. I'm not ready."

I sighed, which probably wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I understood 'no' and the sigh was purely from my sexual frustration. I wasn't sure how Rachel got through being worked up so much to no resolve, but I knew that if I didn't excuse myself and finish off in the bathroom at some point in the next little while, I would have a throbbing between my legs for the rest of the day that I would not be able to ignore.

"I'm sorry," I apologized softly, embarrassed that I had turned into a typical teenage male trying to pressure a girl into having sex. I really didn't mean to push her but I never realized how hard it would be to hold back. She didn't even have to do anything and she turned me on and I found myself trying to think of how I had never felt like this around her before. Why hadn't I ever noticed how beautiful or sexy she was before? How had I ever gone through life without feeling wet between my legs at just holding her in my arms.

"I don't ever want to be apart from you," I whispered, before biting down on her bottom lip and tugging it back, "It's kinda scary."

"Because of who I am," she asked, her eyes meeting mine and I could see the fear and uncertainty she was trying to mask.

I swiped my tongue across her lips playfully, "I like who you are, you know that. It's just scary because I've never felt like I needed someone before. I can't remember what it was like to not need you with me."

She didn't say anything and I suddenly felt embarrassed again. What if she didn't feel the same way or worse, what if I just scared her by saying that? I wanted to laugh it off and say something like 'just kidding' but the words weren't something that I could easily take back and she was just staring at me with eyes that I couldn't read.

"I shouldn't have said that," I said finally, when the silence had carried on too long and I couldn't take it anymore. I had never done this before. I'd never been so open with what I was feeling and Rachel knew more about me than anyone ever had. I'd never allowed myself to give anyone that much power.

"Do you love me," she asked after another long pause and I felt that nausea coming back, but for an entirely different reason now.

_Love?_ I liked her a lot. I wanted her. I needed her. Did I love her? _Maybe._ I didn't want to be the first one to say it when I was so unsure, though, and Rachel hadn't opened up much about her feelings and I had no idea where she was in the relationship. I was used to relationships moving fast. I hadn't been in one that hadn't started with sex until Rachel, but love, that was never a part of any relationship I had had yet. Santana was the closest I had ever come and maybe it was there with her, but she hadn't let me find out.

She saw my hesitation and used her arm beneath me to nudge me on top of her so that I was settled in between her legs. She raised her head off the bed and kissed me hard, our teeth gnashing together as she wildly sucked at my lips. It took a second, but I realized what she was doing. The nails scratching hard at my back, her thighs squeezing my hips tightly and the hungry growl that came from the back of her throat, she was telling me she needed me too. She was saying that we were on the same page, but-

She broke the kiss, falling back to the bed as she caught her breath, "I can't give myself to someone until they're sure, until it's real. It's important to me that it's with someone I love and someone who loves me back. We're just not there yet. It doesn't mean you don't turn me on and I do find that I'm fighting my body's urges constantly, but I really want to get this right."

"Me too," I nodded, "But I can't stop myself from trying to touch you."

"It's okay," Rachel smiled, "I'll stop you when it gets to be too much."

I rolled my hips playfully and watched her head tilt back and her eyes roll up, "Is that too much?"

"Almost," she breathed, her legs tightening around me again. I let my good hand slide down her bare side, further and further until I realized that it was gripping her bare ass. I had forgotten her panties were still that low and feeling the soft flesh of her ass made me moan and thrust against her, hard. She let out a high pitched squeak as I tried to pull myself back under control again, her nails raking up and down my back were not helping though.

"What about that," I growled, licking a line up the side of her neck, past the large purple hickey I had just given her a few minutes earlier.

"Yes, too much," she cried, her hands pushing my shoulders urgently, "Too much, too much."

I smirked, pulling away from her and lying down on my back beside her.

"You're terrible," she groaned and I could see her squeezing her thighs together to relieve some of the tension I had just caused as she quickly secured her panties back in place. The motion only made me more smug and even more turned on, but I forced myself to ignore it and think of something else. If I didn't, I would only be torturing myself.

"Are you going to school today," she asked, making me glance over at the clock to check the time and noticed we had missed our first couple classes.

"Yeah," I sighed, "But I'm just going to go in for the afternoon."

"I can't believe I'm skipping classes again," she whispered softly.

"I guess you're not going to get the perfect attendance award again this year," I chuckled lightly, but she frowned at the comment.

"It's only September and I've already been skipping classes all over the place," she said, "This is my senior year, this isn't the time to slack off. This is the time to work harder than ever to maintain my perfect grades and do everything possible to make sure that I get in to Juilliard."

I pulled her against my side and kissed the top of her head, "You have nothing to worry about. Once they hear you sing they'll have to take you. They'll be kneeling at your feet begging you to join them."

She smiled and kissed my cheek, "Thank you, that's very sweet, but there are hundreds of other girls like me who will be auditioning to get in."

"Maybe, but you have something they don't," I said, my fingers tickling her side lazily.

I felt her shiver against me and let out a soft sigh that I knew she was hoping I didn't hear, "What's that?"

"Destiny," I whispered, "Just like Barbra and Audrey and all those famous people that are known by their first names, you're fate of becoming one of them was written in the stars when you were born."

"That's beautiful," she smiled, rubbing her hand across my stomach, "But I'm still not having sex with you yet."

I laughed, caught off guard by the comment and Rachel's adorable giggles followed. When I finally managed to get myself under control, I laced my fingers through her hair, "That wasn't what I was trying to do."

"I know," she said simply, giving me a kiss on the cheek, "I just want to be clear."

"You're clear," I nodded, "No sex."

My mind drifted to the competition on Sunday and the scout and I flexed the fingers extending from my broken arm and tested the amount of pain. It seemed manageable until I squeezed my hand into a fist and a horrible pain shot all through my arm to my neck, catching me off guard and making me wince. I was maybe a little in denial about my injury and was wondering if I could just power through the pain and compete anyways. I heard of the pros doing it all the time.

"What is it," Rachel asked, and for a moment I had forgotten she was there.

I sighed and looked down at my broken arm, lifting it into the air and flexing my fingers again. I winced again at the familiar shooting pain through my arm, but noted that it wasn't quite as bad as the first time.

"No," Rachel said sternly, pushing my arm back down to the bed and in one swift movement she was on top of me, straddling my hips and towering over me with a harsh finger pointed to my chest.

"What," I asked, pretending to play dumb, I didn't think she could know what was going on in my head.

"I know what you're thinking," she said, "And no."

"What am I thinking," I rolled my eyes.

"You think you can still compete," she said and I was a little surprised that she had caught on to me. It was probably obvious, but I wasn't used to people knowing what was going on in my head, "You can't. What if you crash? You could mess up your arm forever and never be able to compete again. Just one little jolt to your arm from a hard landing could injure your arm further."

"You don't understand," I sighed and decided I needed to admit the truth, "There's going to be a scout there."

I felt her body stiffen above me and I looked up at her. I had almost expected her to ask me what a scout was, but judging by her guilt stricken face, she knew already.

"I may not get another chance," I sighed, my eyes focusing upwards to the ceiling. "This is my dream."

"I do understand," she said, her hands framing my face and forcing my eyes to her, "But I would never do anything that would risk damaging my voice forever. You make one wrong move with your broken arm and you could end up dead."

I wanted to roll my eyes again at that comment, but she did have a point. Not being in top condition to compete, not only could I bail hard on a trick and possibly injure myself permanently, but what good would I be riding half-assed in front of a scout? First impressions were important and if this guy saw me bail on some tricks, even if it was because of my arm, he might look me over and decide I'm nothing special. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that I may never get another shot at this.

"Please, Brittany," she said, her thumbs stroking my cheeks.

"I haven't made any decisions yet," I said, truthfully, "I'm gonna see how I feel tomorrow and maybe try running the course, then I'll go from there about Sunday."

She shook her head and I could tell she was about to give me an earful, but instead I pried her fingers from my face and gently pushed her off me, giving her a light kiss on the lips before getting up from the bed.

"I need to take a shower," I said, heading towards the bathroom, but I was far more interested in taking care of the urgent throbbing between my legs.

"Don't forget to put a plastic bag on your cast," she reminded, just before I had the door to the bathroom closed.

"Thanks," I said, closing the door and turning the shower on. I found a bag in the cabinet underneath the sink and tied it around my cast before slipping off my clothes and stepping into the warm stream of the water. I pulled the shower curtain closed and turned to face the stream, letting the water fall over my face and body before pressing my forehead and casted forearm to the cool tile. I let my other hand drift over my stomach, sliding over my abs before cupping my trimmed mound. As I slid my middle finger through my slick folds and found my clit, I knew it wasn't going to take long. I circled my clit with my finger, imagining it was Rachel's fingers, Rachel's tongue, imagining she was kneeling between my legs with her dark eyes looking up at me. I was so close and could feel myself tumbling closer and closer to the edge, unable to contain my moans as I envisioned pushing Rachel up against the wall of the shower and thrusting my fingers up inside her.

"Are you okay," Rachel's voice rang out through the bathroom and I heard the door squeak as it opened a crack, "Are you hurt?"

I tried to let her know that I was fine, but I was so close and when I opened my mouth a moan slipped out. I heard the door creak open more, "Do you need help?"

_Yes._ Was the only thought I could manage, but her fingers on the shower curtain pulled me from my fantasy.

"No," I croaked out, before she could pull the curtain back and her fingers disappeared, "I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," she said, but her voice sounded unsure.

"I'm fine, Rachel," I said in a more reassuring tone and after a few seconds I heard her soft footsteps leave the bathroom and the door click behind her.

I breathed a sigh of relief, my fingers quickly resuming their task and a few circles later I felt my muscles tense and I bit my lip to try to stifle another loud moan. It didn't do much good though, because while I was still shuddering from my orgasm I heard the door open again.

"Brittany, I can hear you," Rachel's voice sounded again and although I couldn't see her, I knew her hands were on her hips, "What's wrong."

_Jeez I can't even masterbate without her_.

I pulled the curtain slightly and poked my head out, forcing a bright smile to my lips and hoping I could cover my flush with being in the hot shower, "I'm fine, my muscles are just a bit tense."

I would have to remember to lock the door next time I planned on getting myself off with her around. As much as I would've loved for her to come in, catch me, and then help me finish myself off, I was pretty sure that wasn't what would've happened. It probably would've been really awkward.

"Now, unless you planned on getting in here with me and giving me a massage," I winked at her, giving her a playful smile.

I could actually see her thinking about it, as she looked past me into the shower, but after a second she shook her head as if to shake off the thought and said, "I can give you a massage when you get out."

She turned and left, pretty quickly I might add, as if she was afraid she was going to change her mind, and I sighed against the tile again. The water had cooled off quite a bit and I knew that if I didn't hurry and actually clean myself off, I would be doing so in a cold shower.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea, though.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long and sorry it's so short. This weekend has been kinda hectic and I also got distracted drawing again. This chapter was suppose to include glee club too, but I guess that'll have to wait for the next chapter. Sorry. Enjoy!

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><p>"Are you sure you're well enough to operate your vehicle," Rachel asked nervously, hesitating at the passenger side of my car.<p>

I looked at her over the top of the car and shrugged, "You can't drive stick and your car's broken, if you want to get to school we don't have many other options."

She seemed to mull it over, staring down into the car with a conflicted expression, but making no movement to open the door and get in, "I'm still not entirely certain you should be going to school today."

"It's just a broken arm and it feels fine," I pushed, "Besides, I need school to make me smart and you only need one hand to drive."

"I believe you need two in order to drive standard," she replied matter-of-factly, causing me to sigh as I opened my driver side door.

"Alright," I nodded, "I'll drive myself to school and you can walk then."

She gave me a Rachel Berry glare, but I just smirked as she rolled her eyes and flopped down into the passenger seat.

"Honestly, Rach," I laughed once the car was started and I was shifting into reverse, "I feel fine, there's nothing to worry about."

"I just don't feel like this is taking it easy," she said and she had this stubborn look on her face as she folded her arms across her chest.

"You wish we were back in bed, don't you," I joked and chuckled when her head snapped towards me with pink cheeks.

She didn't respond, but turned thoughtful as her attention was drawn to the houses flying by outside her window. It bothered me a little that she wasn't speaking her mind, I was so used to her doing that in the past and not holding back for anything. Now, more often than not, I found myself wondering what was going on in her head and wishing that the open book that she once was, was back.

"What are you thinking," I asked, unable to bear the serious face that was staring out her window, no longer.

Her eyes dropped to the hands in her lap for a moment before glancing back out the window, "I just think you should've stayed in bed today."

I glanced over at her a couple times, switching between the road in front of me and her, until I finally said, "That's not what you were thinking."

"No," she replied, her eyes dropping back to her lap, "That wasn't what I was thinking."

"Tell me," I prodded, slipping my hand into hers while I didn't need it to shift and keeping one of my fingers on my injured arm curled around the steering wheel to hold it steady.

"I think I'm still a little in shock that you saved my life," she said, her eyes fixed outside the window again, "These whole past two weeks seem so... surreal. I don't think I've ever been so sure and confused about something all at the same time."

"You mean me," I said, my hand disappearing from hers to downshift as we came up to a red light.

There was a long pause and then I heard her take a deep breath, "Yes. Two weeks ago I was resigned to spend my senior year like all the rest of my high school years, at the bottom of the social food chain."

"Two weeks ago I was sure that I'd be repeating high school until I was twenty-five and they forcibly refused me from enrolling," I shrugged, "Life changes."

"I know, but the future is," she paused again, obvious that it was not a subject she wanted to talk about, so she shook her head, "Can we please talk about something else?"

"Sure," I nodded, disappointed but also aware that it wasn't the right setting to have important conversations like that, not when school was ten minutes away and I couldn't give her my full attention.

The car was silent for a while and I'll have to admit it wasn't the easiest thing driving with my bulky cast on. On top of that I had to fight to keep the pain hidden every time I twisted my arm to turn the steering wheel around a corner, because I was sure that if Rachel even noticed me wincing, she would force me to pull over and call AAA or something. I could see her watching me out of the corner of her eye, she was trying not to call attention to it and pretending she wasn't, but Rachel was anything but sneaky, especially when she was trying to be. So every time an extra bad pain shot through my arm, I clenched my jaw a little harder and prayed she didn't notice, and also that my teeth didn't break.

"You're going to have to teach me how to drive your car," she said softly, when we were just about a block away from the school.

"Trust you with my baby," I teased, "I don't know, you somehow managed to hit a dirt bike while you were parked."

I felt a hard punch to my right shoulder and was glad that my injured arm wasn't the one nearest to her. I was pretty sure that she would've hit it anyway, forgetting it was broken.

"Sorry," she said when I winced, "But you deserved that."

* * *

><p>I got this sort of lump in the pit of my stomach as I pulled into the parking lot at McKinley, and it wasn't because I had to squeeze my luxury car into the only parking spot left available, risking its pristine paint job. I couldn't really explain it, but it was this sort of nauseous feeling when you know something bad was going to happen. Something about this day just didn't feel right and after the horrible day I had yesterday, I didn't know how much I could handle.<p>

I went to grab my school bag from the backseat, but Rachel grabbed it before I could, "You need to take it easy, Brittany, you can't possibly think I'm going to let you strain yourself under the weight of your school bag."

I half smirked as she braced herself to pick up the bag, while already having her own strapped to her back, and I could tell she was expecting it to be just as heavy as hers. When she pulled the bag up and it was much lighter than she expected, she shot me a confused expression, "Do you even have anything in here?"

"My duck pencil sharpener and rainbow sticker album," I replied, straight faced and right back into 'Stupid Brittany' character. "What else would I need?"

I saw her try to hide her smile and so I took a couple steps towards her, pressing her up against the side of my car, "What?"

"Sometimes," she said, "Only on rare occasions, when I'm not worried about how you've risked your future, your alter ego is a little adorable."

"Alter ego," I repeated, furrowing my brow and looking up towards the sky in confusion, "Is that like a table where you pray to waffles?"

"Brittany," Rachel said sternly, guiding my arms to wrap around her lower body and I locked my fingers at the small of her back.

"Yes, Rachel," I replied, cheekily.

She let in a slow deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes as she blew it out through her mouth, "Shut up and kiss me."

The corners of my mouth twitched as she leaned in towards me and when she was breath away from my lips I whispered, "I think I need an adult."

* * *

><p>"Oh my god, Britt-Britt," Santana gasped, holding my broken arm tenderly in her hands as she took the empty seat next to me in class. I didn't have a class with Rachel until Spanish last period and I was expecting the seat next to me to stay empty with Santana still angry with me. I was shocked that she even noticed my injury while trying to ignore me and shoot angry glares at the same time. "What happened?"<p>

That was a loaded question. Definitely not one that was going to go over well with Santana, and as much as I liked Rachel, it was like Santana's sudden concern was an in to get my best friend back. So I sucked in a breath and tried to push the guilt away as I left out the most important part of my story, Rachel, "Motocross practice. Derrick hit me with his bike."

"Excuse me while I put rat poison in his water bottle," Santana growled, her eyes narrowing towards the front of the class. Derrick was a freshman so we didn't have any classes with him, luckily, because I wasn't a hundred percent sure she was exaggerating about the rat poison. As much as I hated the kid right now, I still didn't want him dead.

"It's okay, San," I said soothingly, she looked like her blood was boiling and when I lightly put my hand on her arm to try to calm her down, she looked down at it with sad eyes, as if remembering that we had been fighting.

"I miss you, Britt," she said so quietly I almost didn't hear her, and her dark eyes gave me a side-long glance as they began to redden.

The words went straight to my heart and tore it out. I thought I was over her, but I was kidding myself. This was the Santana I loved, the one that only I saw in her most vulnerable moments. The one who would spend an hour massaging my neck after a cheerleading competition because she knew how sore my muscles got and how much it relaxed me. The same girl who would grab my face in both hands just before she came, look straight into my eyes and say, "No matter what I say, I will always love you more than anyone else in the world."

I opened my mouth to tell her how much I missed her too, how much I wanted her wrapped in my arms again, but before I could, the teacher walked into the room, calling all of our attention to the front of the class. It was for the best, because it snapped me out of the trance she had put me under, reminding me that I was with Rachel now and how much I liked being with Rachel. There was no heartache with her, except the good kind, and maybe it was because it was still too new that we didn't have a chance to get to the pain yet, but it didn't matter, because there was something that I had with Rachel that I never had with Santana. The freedom to be myself and acceptance.

When class ended she acted like we had never been fighting in the first place and I hadn't broken her heart because of Rachel. It was like she had gotten a sudden case of amnesia, walking through the halls with me, her ponytail swishing from side to side as she linked pinkies with me, just like nothing had happened. It was strange and I should've questioned it, but the feeling of being friends with her again distracted me, and I was too busy being content to realize it could be a problem.

We parted ways just before Spanish class and about five seconds before Rachel came bouncing down the hall towards me. She bounced up onto her toes as she pressed a quick kiss to my lips and said, "How's your school day going?"

"It's been alright," I nodded, pushing Santana from my thoughts, "How's yours?"

"Quite dull," she sighed and then brightened instantly as she grabbed my hand, swinging it gently from side to side, "Much better now."

I smiled back, giving her another closed lip kiss and lingering a little longer than the last. She had put lip gloss on since I last saw her, it tasted like vanilla and something even sweeter that was distinctly Rachel.

"Is that a new lip gloss," I asked, licking the remnants off my lips.

She reached into the waistband of her skirt and pulled out the stick of Lip Smacker liquid vanilla gloss, holding it at my eye level with a reluctant smile, "You liked the vanilla right?"

"Yes," I nodded, hooking my finger in the front of her blouse and tugging her towards me to taste her lips again.

"Hey Lesbos, keep your disgusting PDA outside of my line of vision," a Cheerio snarled, shoving Rachel into me with her shoulder as she walked by, laughing with a couple other girls. They were freshman, the baby unholy trinity who would take our place at the top of the pyramid next year, after we graduated. They were already fashioned into their roles, berating anyone who wasn't their kind, and able to create the most hurtful nicknames on a whim. We had trained them well.

Rachel gave them a quick glare before turning back to me with her bright smile as if nothing had happened. It was sickening, the fact that she was so used to it, it didn't even phase her anymore.

"So," she started, but I cut her off before she could get any further.

"No," I said, gently pushing her to the side and storming after the freshmen Cheerios.

"Excuse me," I said, tapping the blond on the shoulder, I think her name was Kristen, and judging by her black eyes, she was the Cheerio at the country club dinner I punched in the face, "Do you know who I am?"

"Brittany Pierce," she said, folding her arms across her chest and giving me a look that said she couldn't care less.

"That's right," I nodded, "Brittany Pierce, senior Cheerio and the girl that punched you in the face and I don't really feel bad about doing it again. So I think you'd better apologize to my girlfriend, unless you'd like a broken jaw to go with that nose."

I wasn't sure where the words were coming from, I was almost sure that I wouldn't ever hit her again, or anyone for that matter, but I was sick of watching Rachel take crap from everyone and there was no way I would ever let anyone push me around like that. I felt Rachel's hand take hold of two of my fingers poking out of my cast, gently nudging me backwards, but I ignored it. She was going to get her apology, one way or another.

The girl had the nerve to scoff at my threat and while her two friends nervously took a step back, I grabbed hold of the front of her Cheerios uniform, balling the tight material in my fist and yanked her downwards, until she was at face level with Rachel.

"Apologize," I commanded, my fist tightening even more in her shirt. I could see Rachel's anxious expression, her mouth open slightly as she watched in almost horror at what was happening. I guess she didn't expect me to ever act like this, of course I never expected me to act like this either.

"I'm sorry," Kristen mumbled, her eyes rolling away from Rachel and refusing to look at her. That wasn't good enough.

I let go of her shirt, instantly grasping her blond ponytail instead, wrapping the hair once around my fist for a tighter hold and yanked her head back, "Say it like you mean it."

"Ok, ok," she shrieked, her hands trying to reach back to pry my fingers off her hair and I pushed her back down to Rachel's level, "I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry."

"Apology accepted," Rachel muttered, still in shock.

I let go of the girl's hair, but spun her around to face me, gripping her shoulders as I glared angrily into her eyes.

"Now, one last extremely important question, and you better think hard about your answer," I said through grit teeth, enunciating every word so there was no doubt in her mind what I was asking, "Do you have any rainbow stickers to trade, preferably ones either with unicorns or lots of sparkles, scratch and sniff would also be alright?"

She stared back at me blankly, trying to decide if my words had a hidden meaning, "No. I-I don't have any stickers."

I felt Rachel's smirk press against my bare shoulder, obviously her surprise had worn off at my last comment and I nodded towards Kristen with a sigh, "Okay, but if I find out you're hoarding rainbow stickers from me, we're going to have another talk."

I watched Kristen and her friends scamper down the hallway like scared mice, and Rachel hooked her arm around my elbow, just above my cast.

"My hero," she said, "Again."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Holy crap, guys, chapter 20! I can't believe I've written so much for this story. Sorry this is late.. crazy weekend and so much to do all the time :(. Trust me, I'd much rather be writing this. Thanks sooo much for all the awesome reviews :D! Keep em coming, they make me happy!

**A/N2:** This chapter contains the song Hero by Mariah Carey. Go listen to it to familiarize yourself with it again, listen to it while you read.. or whatever lol. youtu[.]be/0IA3ZvCkRkQ

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><p>Rachel and I got to Glee club early, she pretty much skipped the entire way to the choir room, and trying to hold someone's hand while they're skipping, and you're not, is more difficult than you think. I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm anyway, I loved the spirit she always had, it was really beautiful. The choir room was empty when we got there, it was only a couple minutes since the last bell went and she had made me rush, even putting my books in my bag for me impatiently, and wouldn't even let me stop at my locker to put my bag in there.<p>

"So what was that big rush about," I asked as she dropped her bag on one of the front row seats, front and centre where she loved to be. I put my bag down in the seat beside hers and watched her skip towards the piano, letting her finger trail across the smooth black top until she reached the front of the piano. She tapped the highest key twice to test it out and then turned back to me with another one of her bright smiles.

"I like being in here when there's no one else here," she said, sitting down on the bench and patting the open space next to her, beckoning me to sit beside her.

"I thought your favourite place was the auditorium," I replied, walking around the bench to take the seat beside her and staring down at the keys as if they would start playing on their own. I hoped she didn't expect me to know how to play because although I was semi-confident that I could remember how to play 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' she wouldn't be able to get anything else out of me.

"Of course it is," Rachel said, exaggerating the words as if the question should never have been needed asked, "but this is a close second. It's kind of like where all the magic happens."

I looked over at her and she was staring up at the ceiling so intently with this reflective expression and I turned my gaze up towards the ceiling, wondering what she was seeing instead of ugly beige tiles with water stains.

"What do you see," I asked softly, maybe it was a dumb question, maybe she was just staring off into space and not even realizing she was looking at the ceiling, but for some reason I felt like I needed to know. It seemed so important. I wanted to be inside her head.

"Stars," she whispered, in the dreamiest voice I'd ever heard her use. My eyes turned back to her and I suddenly felt very small beside her, even though I towered over her everyday. She had so much confidence, so much certainty in life and right at that moment, I realized that one day Rachel Berry was going to be the biggest star. I may have said it many times, that she was born for stardom and she was going to be famous and all that, and I guess I believed it, but sometimes in life you get this strange moment of clarity when you suddenly understand the words you've been repeating over and over again. I could clearly see her up on a stage every night, singing her heart out and wiping the tears out of her eyes after every heart wrenching solo. Even more surprising, in this moment of clarity, I could see myself standing in the wings, watching every performance with the same amount of admiration, like watching a legend perform.

I leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. It snapped her out of her daze and despite all we had done together already, she blushed, smiling down at the white and black keys as her fingers ghosted over them, "What was that for?"

I was so close to saying those three words, they were on the tip of my tongue and it seemed like it was the most natural thing. But I couldn't. Something inside of me was stirring up doubt and I couldn't do that to Rachel, tell her those words if I didn't truly mean it. I wasn't going to play with her heart like that.

"Just because," I smiled, putting my hand on her thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

She stared at me hard, waiting for a better answer, but when I didn't give her one, she finally turned back to the keys and said, "Do you want to play Heart and Soul?"

"I can't play," I admitted, a little embarrassed by the tone of her question, as if she expected me to know how.

"That's alright," she said taking my hands in hers, "I'll show you how."

She gently took both of my pointer fingers in her hands and pressed my left hand to one of the keys.

"This is 'C', you press it twice," she said, pushing my finger down into the key twice as a demonstration and the sound of the note rang out through the quiet room. She took my other hand and placed that finger on a key higher up that looked the same as the last, "This is 'C' also, it's just an octave higher, you're going to press it twice too, just like the last."

She pressed my finger down again, even though we both knew I could do it myself, it was much better when she helped me. She showed me 'A', 'F' and 'G' and their higher counter parts and a minute later I had my part of the song down. I pressed the keys down in sequence and she told me to just keep repeating it over and over again and not to stop until she told me. She nodded as she watched, a smile across her lips as her head bobbed with the notes.

"You've got it," she said with approval, then turned to her end of the piano, placing her hand over a section of keys and waiting for her time to start in. Once I got back to the beginning of the sequence again she started and I almost lost my rhythm as she began to play. She giggled as my pace slowed and gave me a little nudge with her shoulder, "Keep going."

I tried my best to concentrate as her fingers moved and I listened to the music we were making, but it didn't take long for all the keys to start looking the same and suddenly I began pressing the wrong ones. I groaned, but she just laughed that amazing, gorgeous laugh of hers that always makes my stomach tingle, and I realized I was far more interested in keeping her laughing than trying to remember the notes. I took my hands from the piano and put them to better use, tickling her sides as her body jolted and she tried to move away from my torturous fingers. Her hands pressed to my shoulders as her elbows tried to lock at her sides, and she tried to push me away, but I refused to end my torment. She screamed and gasped for air in between giggles and I probably should've been a little bit worried about how that sounded.

"What's going on in here," Mr. Schue demanded and I instantly pulled my hands away from Rachel, as if we had been caught doing something really bad.

Rachel cleared her throat and smoothed her hair down before pushing her skirt down, which had ridden up some in the tickle fight, "Nothing Mr. Schuester, I was simply teaching Brittany how to play the piano."

"There's too many keys that look the same," I shrugged, "I like uncomplicated instruments like the kazoo, plus it's a fun word to say. Kazoo."

Mr. Schue gave us a weary look as we stood from the bench and made our way over to the seats we had put our bags on. It wasn't long before all the rest of the club members began to file in, one after another, and fill in most of the empty seats. We never filled up all of the empty seats, because Glee was never that big, but I liked our size anyway, it was family sized.

When Santana swayed into the room with Quinn at her side, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Rachel sitting beside me, her jaw clenching and her eyes narrowed at us. It was like she had entirely forgotten that we were together and she was learning about it again for the first time. She looked like she was about to lunge at Rachel like a wild cat and rip her throat out with her bare hands, but in an instant her entire demeanour changed and her body relaxed. She walked towards us, Quinn keeping stride beside her with a nervous look on her face, obviously unsure of what Santana was going to do next as well. Santana gave me a tight smile as she took the seat beside me, it was fake and forced, and looked twisted on her lips. She never looked at Rachel.

I think Rachel was a little bit scared of her, because I suddenly felt her hand in mine and it was ice cold, which was very unusual for Rachel, she was normally so warm. I looked over at her as my thumb began to rub against her hand, trying to massage some warmth into her, and her face was pale as she stared at the lone hand in her lap.

"What's wrong," I whispered in her ear, the answer was obvious, but I needed her to confirm it anyway.

"Santana," she whispered back and her voice was shaking a little as she said it, "She looks like she's going to kill me."

I offered her a confident smile back and said, "Santana wouldn't actually hurt you."

I hoped I had said that believable enough, because I sure didn't feel it. Santana had been acting so strangely today, and it wouldn't be the first time she turned to violence to solve her problems. Or the second. Or third. There had been many times. It was different though with Rachel, because no matter how many times she berated and threatened her, she never really tried to hurt her or get in a physical fight with her. Even those times when we had to hold her back, I could feel the way she struggled against us, that she was putting on a show. Another reason why I always suspected Santana had a hidden liking for her.

I kept hold of Rachel's hand in my lap and saw Santana give a side glance our hands, then she turned her gaze straight ahead of her, "Hey Britt-Britt."

"Hey San," I replied back uneasily.

"How's your dog," she spat out and then turned to face Quinn without waiting for an answer, effectively cutting me out of whatever they were going to talk about. I saw Quinn lean over and give me an apologetic half smile and I nodded in acknowledgement of it.

"Alright guys, today is the big day," Mr. Schue said, excitedly, clapping his hands together, "Who's ready to sing some love songs?"

That caused Rachel to immediately forget her troubles with Santana and she suddenly sat straight up in her chair, wide smile and hand in the air. Almost everybody else seemed to grumble about it and I heard Mercedes start laughing, and when Rachel noticed their reactions she slowly lowered her hand, but the smile never disappeared.

"I think everybody saw Brittany's valiant performance in the cafeteria this week, so she's off the hook," Mr. Schue said, giving me a nod of approval, "As for the rest of you, who's first?"

I thought my arm was going to get ripped out of its socket, and it was my good arm at that, as Rachel leapt from her seat pulling my hand and the rest of me with her.

"Although my girlfriend technically went first, I would like to be the first person today to perform the song I have chosen," Rachel said, speaking quickly in that way she always did when she was excited.

"Okay, Rachel," Mr. Schue said, extending his hand in a gesture of giving her the floor as he took a seat on the end next to Quinn.

"As some of you may or may not know, Brittany heroically saved my life yesterday with great risk to her own well-being," Rachel said, holding up my broken arm and I could almost see the smoke shooting out of Santana's ears as she realized that I hadn't told her the entire story, "I will spare you the disturbing details, but I will just say that Brittany stood in between me and a flying dirt bike, unbelievably saving my life, but unfortunately resulting in a concussion and broken arm."

"My god, Brittany," Mr. Schue gasped, "Are you alright?"

"It's not like she has any brain cells to lose," Santana growled and I decided to just stare at her blankly and shrug.

"Yes, she's fine and thanks to her I am too," Rachel beamed.

"There is no god," Santana shot out again, causing a hard look from Mr. Schue, as if that would do anything.

Rachel didn't even flinch, she just continued on her rant, "The piece I have chosen to sing to Brittany today, may not be classified as a love song exactly, but since I will be singing it to the girl that I l-"

She paused and looked at me before the word came out but quickly recovered and turned back to the club members, "The girl that I like and I will be singing it from the heart, I believe that that is what will make it a love song."

She turned to look at Mr. Schue for approval and he gave her a go ahead nod.

"Then in light of the events that took place yesterday," she said, turning towards me and taking both my hands in hers, or a cast and a hand, her smile softened and her eyes had a glow to them, like everyone else in the room had disappeared, "I will be singing Mariah Carey's Hero."

I groaned inside because I knew the song, everybody knew the song, but I knew she was going to make it so sappy and I knew she was going to start crying, that was inevitable, but I was a little afraid that I might start crying. I just felt so naked, standing up there in front of all my friends as they watched Rachel and I open our hearts to each other. I knew I was making things worse than they would be, I mean I had stood up in front of the entire school and told everyone that I had feelings for her, this should've been a breeze. I didn't even have to do anything but stand there and look at her. I can't even explain why I was so nervous about it, I just was.

She gave Brad a quick tilt of her head to start playing and the room filled with the piano's soft melody and I could see her taking slow deep breaths. She was nervous too. It was strange because I don't think I'd ever really seen her nervous before she was to perform. Even when we had competitions at regionals and even nationals, she always looked excited, not nervous. When she was on stage it was like she was home. So to see her here, to feel the slight tremble in her fingers as she breathed, she felt so real and normal. It also made me feel special, like I could do something to her that no one else could.

I smiled at her and squeezed her hands and her tense shoulders relaxed slightly as she closed her eyes for a moment, opening them as she began to sing.

_There's a hero_

_If you look inside your heart_

_You don't have to be afraid_

_Of what you are_

That first part of the verse came out quite shaky and a little gravelly, very unlike Rachel, and I could see the panic in her eyes as she realized it wasn't sounding perfect. I gave her hands another squeeze, when I really wanted to wrap my arms around her instead, and ran my thumbs over the soft skin on the backs of her hands.

_There's an answer_

_If you reach into your soul_

_And the sorrow that you know_

_Will melt away_

It sounded a lot better, not quite up to Rachel's standards, but I could see the confidence and determination return to her eyes.

_And then a hero comes along_

_With the strength to carry on_

_And you cast your fears aside_

_And you know you can survive_

_So when you feel like hope is gone_

_Look inside you and be strong_

_And you'll finally see the truth_

_That a hero lies in you_

By the end of the chorus she was pitch perfect, capturing every note with that amazing voice, and her eyes never moving from mine. I could feel every word that she sang and it was like we were somewhere else entirely. Like back in my room, lying with each other half naked again on my bed. She suddenly let go of my hands, taking a step away from me as she sang the next part.

_It's a long road_

_And you face the world alone_

_No one reaches out a hand_

_For you to hold_

I almost laughed when I realized she was making an attempt at theatre choreography, but I held it in because it entirely wasn't the time. Then she leaned in just slightly, and held her hand over my chest, without making any contact, almost as if she was teasing me.

_You can find love_

_If you search within yourself_

_And the emptiness you felt_

_Will disappear_

As she sang the last line, the hand over my heart twisted into a fist as she pulled it down and against herself, squeezing her eyes shut, before opening them again to sing the chorus. She was crying and I was a little surprised that she had managed to hold out as long as she had.

_And then a hero comes along_

_With the strength to carry on_

_And you cast your fears aside_

_And you know you can survive_

_So when you feel like hope is gone_

_Look inside you and be strong_

_And you finally see the truth_

_That a hero lies in you_

She walked a few steps further away from me and I already missed her, I was too quickly growing accustomed to how she felt. Her voice strengthened as the music began to climax and I could tell this was her favourite part. The parts where she was allowed to unleash the full force of her voice, when she could show the world that she wasn't just a little dwarf. That she was better than all of us.

_Oh ho, Lord knows_

_Dreams are hard to follow_

_But don't let anyone_

_Tear them away, hey yea_

_Hold on_

_There will be tomorrow_

_In time, you find the way, hey_

She was back on me again, but instead of holding my hands she had one of her hands gripping the waistband of my jeans and the other clutching at her own chest, like her heart was almost physically hurting her.

_And then a hero comes along_

_With the strength to carry on_

_And you cast your fears aside_

_And you know you can survive_

She was so beautiful when she was singing, I couldn't even be sure if I was still breathing. The only way I knew that I was still alive was the way my body tingled all over every time she belted out a high note. When her nails scratched into the skin of my hip and her hand left her own heart to press against mine, I felt my tears fall. Maybe it was sappy and stupid and everyone else could wonder why a song would make me cry, but nobody could possibly understand what it was like to be a part of her. To feel like you mattered to her. She had this amazing way of making you feel like the most important person on the planet when she looked into your eyes and told you how wonderful she thought you were. Even if the words were borrowed.

_So when you feel like hope is gone_

_Look inside you and be strong_

_And you finally see the truth_

_That a hero lies in you_

_That a hero lies in you_

_Mmm, that a hero lies in you_

As the music stopped neither Rachel nor I moved. I suddenly understood Finn's idiotic impulse to kiss her at nationals, at the end of their duet. There was like this force pulling us together and the only thing I could think about was how I needed her lips on mine.

"That was amazing, Rachel," Mr. Schue said enthusiastically, rising from his chair to clap and make his way over towards us.

The sound of his voice released us from the moment and I tried to quickly wipe the tears from my eyes as she gave her own the same treatment. We both took our seats and I risked leaning over and kissing her cheek, before whispering in her ear, "Thank you."

"Okay guys, tough to follow that," Mr. Schue joked, "Who's next?"

"Me," Santana said, standing from her seat and turning around to face us. I saw Finn slowly rise to his feet out of the corner of my eye, but Santana threw a demanding finger at him and yelled out, "Sit down Frankenteen, this one isn't for you."

Her eyes turned straight to me and that pit in my stomach that I had earlier was back full force.

This was not going to end well.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** This chapter contains Adele's One and Only, I strongly suggest you listen to it.. youtu[.]be/CoEplQ5eNn0

**A/N2: **Hope everyone is still enjoying this! Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Next chapter will probably be a little short and I will try to get it up as soon as I can.

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><p>"Sit down Frankenteen, this one isn't for you."<p>

"Oh Jesus," I heard Mercedes sigh from somewhere behind me.

"Quiet," Kurt said as the snap of his fingers echoed through the room, "I smell drama."

My stomach was knotted and sitting somewhere in my throat area and that dizzy, nauseous feeling I had before had returned with a vengeance. The only thing I could think about was that Santana was about to embarrass herself. I knew what she was going to do. She was finally going to do the only thing I had been asking her for all this time. Except that she was setting herself up to get burned.

"Quinn," Santana beckoned her and with another apologetic look, Quinn rose from her seat, standing a step behind her to back her up.

Santana's eyes turned on Rachel for a brief moment and Rachel grabbed my arm, digging her nails into my skin as her fear returned. I used the fingers on my other hand to lazily stroke the back of her hand, but really I was too caught up in what Santana was doing to even realize that Rachel was near drawing blood.

"Don't San," I heard myself whisper, but I felt like I wasn't even in my body anymore.

Her face softened as her eyes fell on me and for a moment I thought she was going to listen to me. Her expression told me she was going to give in before things got messy, but then her eyes dropped down to Rachel's hand in mine and the fire was back behind her eyes.

She turned towards Brad and demanded, "Adele, One and Only."

The music began instantly and she shot a final glance at Rachel before her eyes calmed on me. I had seen that look before, it was exactly the same as when she had sang Songbird to me. Back when she didn't have the courage to do it in front of an audience.

_You've been on my mind_

_I grow fonder every day,_

_Lose myself in time_

_Just thinking of your face_

_God only knows_

_Why it's taking me so long_

_To let my doubts go_

_You're the only one that I want_

Her smokey voice reminded me of something inside me that I had missed. It was over. I was with Rachel. But as she sang to me, I could see all those good moments we had, the laughs we shared, the intimate nights, and it was sad to know that they were gone.

_I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before_

_Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,_

_You never know if you never try_

_To forgive your past and simply be mine_

I could hear the apology in her voice and the begging for another chance. It tugged at my heart and made that nausea all too real. I could see her eyes begin to redden like Rachel's always did when she sung and I was just praying that no tears came. There had been too many tears.

_I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_

_Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_

_So come on and give me the chance_

_To prove that I'm the one who can_

_Walk that mile until the end starts_

I'd be lying if I said her voice wasn't sending chills up and down my spine. Her words were literally begging for a second chance and god she was doing it. She was finally singing her song to me in front of everyone and I wanted to enjoy it and marvel in it and just feel the infinite amount of pride for her for finally being brave. It all felt like a dream, but a dream from long ago, when it mattered.

_Have I been on your mind_

_You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time_

_At the mention of my name,_

_Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?_

_And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go_

I felt my head shaking slightly as I listened to the words, because they were all lies. For some reason, pangs of guilt erupted inside of me when I realized that only one person had been on my mind and it wasn't Santana, not anymore. Obviously Rachel should've been the only girl on my mind, she was my girl, but it hurt so much to betray Santana.

_I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before_

_Every feeling every word, I've imagined it all,_

_You never know if you never tried_

_To forgive your past and simply be mine_

Her eyes. So sad. I could see the tears filling her eyes and they must've been filling in mine too, because it was getting harder and harder to see her.

_I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_

_I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_

_So come on and give me the chance_

_To prove that I'm the one who can_

_Walk that mile until the end starts_

All I could think about was that if this was a few weeks sooner, I would be the happiest girl in the world. Instead, I felt like my entire world was crashing to pieces. It wasn't about Rachel, it was about watching my best friend in the whole world crumble before me and beg me for something that I couldn't give her.

_I know it ain't easy_

_Giving up your heart_

_I know it ain't easy_

_Giving up your heart_

Quinn's sultry voice sang along with Santana's and suddenly it was like I was letting them both down. Like I was suppose to know that Santana would eventually come around and that we were destined to live happily ever after.

_(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)_

_I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart_

_(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learnt it)_

_I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart_

The problem was, I had already given up my heart.

_I know it ain't easy_

_Giving up your heart_

To the beautiful songstress on my right.

_So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only_

_I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms_

_So come on and give me the chance_

_To prove I'm the one who can_

_Walk that mile until the end starts_

_Come on and give me a chance_

_To prove that I am the one who can_

_Walk that mile until the end starts._

The room was silent as the song ended and Santana took a moment to gently dab at the tears rolling down her cheeks, careful not to smudge her mascara. I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say.

"Thank you, Santana," Mr. Schue said, finally breaking the silence when a couple awkward minutes passed, and everybody began to clap. Even if they knew it was inappropriate to sing a song like that to me with Rachel there, she did an amazing job of it and the applause marked that.

Santana dropped back down in the seat beside me and I could feel her eyes on me, but I refused to take my eyes off the whiteboard at the front of the room. I was stunned, definitely, but I also was not prepared to deal with what was to come after that song.

Rachel's nails were still dug deep in my arm and when I looked down at it, I realized that she had drawn blood. I couldn't even feel it. I couldn't look at her right now either, because I knew how terrified she was that she was about to lose me and I honestly didn't have the strength right then to convince her that I was hers. I hardly had the strength to breathe.

The rest of the club all sang their songs, most of the time breaking down into laughing fits by the end, but I could hardly pay attention. I knew I was about to lose Santana for good and it wasn't fair that I had to give up my best friend for my girlfriend.

"Remember guys, just a few weeks away until invitationals," Mr. Schue said as glee club came to an end, "Let's not get lazy just because we made it to Nationals last year."

Santana was the first to run out of the room as soon as Mr. Schue was finished and I was a little relieved that we weren't going to have a confrontation right there.

"So this is the boy from your synagogue," Kurt said, eyeing me up and down, "Not what I was picturing, Rachel."

"Sorry," Rachel said, looking towards me with a smirk, "We weren't ready to tell everyone yet."

"I understand," Mercedes said, coming up beside Kurt, "When Sam and I were dating, we thought it would be best for the club if we kept it low key."

"I'm gonna get my stuff from my locker," I said blandly, still shaken up and not ready to have a discussion with them about our relationship.

"I'll be right there," Rachel nodded and I grabbed my bag and headed out of the choir room.

"Don't you kinda feel like a pedophile, though," I heard Mercedes question as I left the room and I stopped on the other side of the wall to eaves drop on the conversation.

"What are you talking about," Rachel said and I could tell by the shaking in her voice that the question had upset her.

"Well," Kurt said for Mercedes, "You're sixteen and she's got the brain of a five year old."

"You don't know her at all," Rachel said angrily.

"Hey, I dated her too," Kurt said, "She wanted me to kiss her armpits."

I chuckled lightly at that, that was definitely all 'Stupid Brittany'.

"What," she said and I could hear the horrified shake in her voice.

"All craziness aside, Rachel," Mercedes cut in, "I'm really happy for you. And I really hope she doesn't break your heart."

"Mmmhmm," Kurt agreed, "Cause then we're gonna have to beat her pretty little Cheerio ass."

I smiled, knowing that Rachel was feeling pretty good right about now, knowing that she had friends who would stand up for her. I let her be and began to walk down the hall to my locker, noticing Santana standing and waiting by it. I sighed, knowing that we were about to have a talk I really did not want to have.

"I did it, Britt," Santana said softly as I fumbled with my locker combination.

"I'm really proud of you, San," I said sadly, refusing to meet her eyes as I opened my locker and began putting some books in my bag.

"I did it for you," she continued, "So you can see now how much I care."

I nodded and finally turned towards her, my heart breaking when I found her crying again, "Yeah, it was nice."

"So we can be together now," she asked, hopefully.

I sighed, "No, San, we can't."

"Why not," Santana demanded angrily.

"Because I'm with Rachel," I said, tired of the fact that I even needed to say this to her.

"No," Santana said, "See I did a lot of thinking and I understand now. This whole time I was wondering how in the hell you could fall for that midget and then it hit me. You were just doing it to make me jealous, so that I would realize my feelings and find the courage to stand up in front of everyone and do what you needed me to."

"That's not true," I said, shaking my head, "Rachel and I aren't together to make you jealous, I really like her."

"Come on," Santana groaned, taking my hand in hers, "Can't we just go back to my place and gets our sweet lady kisses on and put everything back to normal."

"No," I said firmly, not sure how I could be more clear to her, "I'm with Rachel."

"Why," Santana demanded, letting go of my hand and folding her arms across her chest, "Why does it have to be her?"

"Who would you rather it be," I asked, because really I didn't understand why the fact that it was Rachel meant anything different.

"Me," Santana shouted at me, "I'd rather it be me."

"San," I said, gently, "We had our moment, it just didn't work out for us. We both have to move on."

There was a pause as she just looked at me with such misery, "But I love you."

My heart was literally breaking and all I wanted to do was tell her things to make her feel better, but there wasn't anything for me to tell her, "I love you too, but only as my best friend."

"Please, Britt," Santana pleaded, "She's just a loser, be with me."

"I'm sorry," I said shaking my head as I closed my locker, "You're just going to have to accept that I'm with Rachel now."

As much as it hurt to leave her there crying, I had to. I turned around and found Rachel leaning against the lockers halfway down the hall. She was obviously eaves dropping and there was a small smile that she was trying to hide for mine and Santana's sake, but I knew what it was for. I rejected Santana for her and that was probably the biggest hurdle she needed me to cross in order to believe that she truly was my one and only.

I walked towards her and held out my hand for her to take and she took it with excitement as she bounced beside me. I couldn't help but smile at her and almost laughed as she began to swing our clasped hands.

Suddenly Rachel went flying forward and if I didn't have a strong hold on her hand, she would've gone face first into the ground. We both quickly spun around and found Santana, eyes ablaze as she lunged for her again, shoving her shoulders hard and sending her skidding down the hall on her ass.

"Santana," I shouted and tried to grab her, but she ducked under me and dove for Rachel.

"You ruined my life you stupid dwarf," Santana shouted, grabbing Rachel by the hair and forcing her back on her feet.

Rachel screamed in response and once again I was in motion, trying to get to Santana before she could do any serious damage. Just before I could grab onto her, she launched Rachel into the lockers, hitting her shoulder hard as she slid down into a heap on the floor. Her eyes wide in shock and tears streaming down her face as she watched Santana in horror.

I wrapped my good arm around Santana's neck and held her in a choke hold as I screamed, "What are you doing?"

Santana struggled against me, screaming out a slew of Spanish that was definitely all profanities, but I twisted her head and forced her to look down at Rachel.

"Look what you're doing," I whispered in her ear and she stopped thrashing for a moment. Rachel looked like a scared tiny girl, cowering away from her, "I really never thought you'd hurt her."

Santana had stopped moving and I let go of her, dropping down in front of Rachel and putting my hand on her cheek so she'd turn to look at me.

"Are you okay, Rach," I asked and her eyes slowly switched from me to Santana, still completely in shock. I shook her lightly and said, "Rachel, are you alright?"

She blinked and looked down at herself, "Yes, I-I think so."

Wrapping my good arm around her waist, I lifted her to her feet where she trembled while taking small, shaky steps. I glared at Santana and spat out, "I hope you realize you just lost any chance of us ever being friends again."

Santana looked just as shocked as Rachel did and I watched as she turned her gaze down to her hands, as if she couldn't believe what they had just done. I began to walk with Rachel down the hall towards the front doors to the school, keeping my arm tight around her waist for support.

"It wasn't for her, Britt," I heard Santana call from the other end of the hallway.

"I know," I said, turning back towards Santana, "It was for me."

I turned back around and opened the door for Rachel, helping her through as we got outside.

"What did you guys mean," Rachel asked softly, resting her head on my shoulder as we made our way to my car.

I didn't look at her, because I knew that Santana just realized something about herself and it really wasn't my secret to tell, "Better off if you don't know, Rach."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** To all those people who were entirely confused with the end of the last chapter, don't worry, you were supposed to be. A couple people got it and I think more people will understand it this chapter, but it won't be fully explained for a bit. Anyway, enjoy and R&R please :D!

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><p>My head had been swimming ever since the encounter with Santana in the hallway. I felt like I needed to go to her and help her through the confusion she was going through, but now I was just so torn between her and Rachel. Yes, I had told her that it was the end, that our friendship was over at that point, but in all truth, it wasn't. It was something said in the heat of the moment. Rachel wouldn't understand yet, why I would be so quick to forgive her, although forgive was too strong a word for now. It was more like I understood. It was absolutely wrong and horrible and the fact that she laid hands on my girlfriend like that continued to anger me, but that poor lost soul was going to need a good friend at her side right now. Rachel wouldn't understand. But Rachel didn't know.<p>

I sent Quinn a quick text, after I killed the engine on my car, telling her that Santana needed her right now, whether she wants her there or not. Quinn sent back a confused text mere seconds later, asking if it had to do with her performance in glee, and I wrote back that it wasn't adding the words _Spanish_ _berries_. Not even a second passed before the words _on my way_ were sent back.

'Spanish berries' was a stupid code word Quinn and I had made up two years ago, figuring we needed a code word to tell the other when shit was about to hit the fan in this situation. We knew that when Santana realized what we both had suspected about her, she was going to need some serious friend time to help her make sense of her life. It was more of a joke though, laughed about over raspberry flavoured coolers and a bowl full of chocolate chip cookie dough. We also didn't think it would take two years for this moment to happen, if we were right in our suspicions, so now the code word idea sounded silly, but it did its job anyway. Right now, I couldn't be a part of the serious friend time, either. Quinn, as broken as she may be herself, would have to go it on her own. To be honest, that worried me a bit. Two depressed people alone in a room could lead to either murder plots or suicide pacts. Of course it could just lead to comfort sex, so maybe I'm overreacting.

"Are you sure you're okay," I asked, helping Rachel sit down on the couch in front of their large screen television. She hadn't spoken the whole drive and the look of shock had been present the entire time. Her eyes slowly turned towards me and she gave an equally slow nod. She looked like a zombie, she had the pale skin, far off gaze and stiff movements, all she needed was rotting flesh and a constant repetition of the word 'brains' and I would be seriously debating whether to put a bullet in her brain or keep her as a pet.

"Physically," Rachel said, drawing the word out, "I'm fine. The bruises will heal. But I really did not think Santana would come after me like that. I, of course, am aware of the scraps between her and Quinn and Lauren, so I'm not sure why I find it so surprising."

Definitely not a zombie, they can't talk that much. I sighed wrapping an arm around her slender shoulders, laying a kiss on the side of her head, "She didn't mean it, Rachel. She's not mad at you, she's mad at me. She's just taking it out on you because she can't touch me."

Her hand slid into my lap, holding onto the inside of my thigh as she said, "Because you could kick her butt?"

"No," I laughed, "I mean it would definitely be a fight to bet money on, but we've been too close to take our anger out on each other like that."

"So she takes it out on me," Rachel sighed and her fingers began to absently stroke my thigh. I hated what that was doing to me because right now was not sexy times. I was supposed to be having a heart to heart with Rachel and instead my body was kicking into overdrive once again. What was it Finn thought of to cool down again? _Mailman. Mailman. Mailman._ I didn't get it, it wasn't working for me at all.

"Ever since Santana realized she was gay, she's been making one wrong decision after the next," I tried to explain.

"Like Karofsky," Rachel snorted and I cringed at that thought. Yes, that thought helped. Santana and Karofsky was my mailman.

"Exactly," I said, lazily stroking the strands of her hair that had been tickling my hand, "She keeps trying to fight who she is and deep down inside there's just this scared little girl begging for everyone to love her."

"If she wants us all to love her she has a funny way of showing it," Rachel scoffed and I think I even heard the hints of a soft snort.

"Everybody has their own way of doing things," I said, "Quinn and her have a lot in common. They both need someone to love them and they're both so alone."

"So why is she so mad at you," she asked, moving her head off my shoulder to look me in the eyes.

I debated telling her the real reason. I couldn't tell if it was a good idea or not. I hated lying to her, but it would just complicate Santana's life more than it was already.

I guess I had hesitated too long, because Rachel put her head back on my shoulder and said, "It's okay, you don't have to tell me."

"I'm going to take you out on a date tomorrow night," I said, changing the subject.

Her head raised back up again and I was so relieved to see that radiant smile, "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," I laughed as she pouted.

"You and your surprises," she said, her eyes narrowing at me.

"You liked the last one," I said and I could hardly believe that it was only a week ago. It felt like Rachel and I had been together for months, even years.

"Yes," Rachel admitted, her lips finding my neck as she mumbled the next words against it, "I loved it."

Her light kisses escalated to soft sucking and then little nips with her teeth and before I knew it, she had one hand gripping one side of my neck while she left dark hickeys on the other. It felt fantastic and all I could do was rest my head back against the couch, close my eyes, and give myself to her. My hand fell from her shoulders, down her back and all the way down to the curve of her butt, where I nudged her lightly until she moved over me, straddling my lap. Her lips never left my neck and her hands began pressing lines up my chest to my shoulders and back down, each time getting closer and closer to my breasts. I let in a shaky breath that got caught in my throat as she bit down hard on the muscle on the side of my neck and my hands quickly grabbed at her hips as mine thrust up against her. Her nails dug into my shoulders and her head fell back as she began to grind her hips against mine.

"Where are your dads," I moaned more than spoke. I almost didn't care, but I still wanted to make a good impression with them.

She moved one of her hands to grip the front of my shirt, her eyes barely open as she looked down at me and whispered, "They always work late on Fridays."

Her hips never slowed and I knew the bunched crotch of my jeans was hitting her in just the right place by the soft keening noises she was making in between each gasp. Her left hand found my right one at her hip and slowly began to trail it upwards, underneath her shirt and along the taught stomach muscles that fluttered beneath my touch.

"What are you doing," I whispered, watching my hand beneath her shirt as she continued to guide it upwards. I didn't want this to end, but I also knew that this was not the way she wanted her first time, and it looked like that's where this was heading.

"I'm," she said but her words were interrupted by her gasp when my hips involuntarily bucked up against her as I felt the ridges of her ribs, "I'm rewarding you."

"Oh god," I moaned as she let my fingers slip underneath her bra and I could feel the delicate skin of the underside of her breast. I dragged my thumb over the curve for a second until she pushed my hand up higher, squeezing my hand and forcing it to close around her breast. She gasped louder at the sensation and rolled her hips more frantically, arching her back into the touch. I felt my thumb graze her nipple and I pinched it between my thumb and forefinger, eliciting another loud moan. Her free hand left my shirt and rested on my knee behind her, using it as leverage to grind harder against me. More than anything I wanted to drop my other hand between her legs, but my broken arm and the cast were preventing me from maneuvering it the right way, so it stayed on her hip.

"Can I see," I asked in a husky voice, licking my dry lips as I stared down at the breast beneath my grasp. Her eyes widened as she looked at me, hesitating for a moment before shaking her head.

"Not yet," she whispered, biting her lip as her eyes fell shut again. I was a little disappointed, but her hand covering mine on her breast, squeezed my hand against her harder and the noise she made distracted me.

I watched her face in awe as her mouth fell open and her eyebrows creased together, "Has anyone ever touched-"

"No," she groaned out, shaking her head as she licked her lips trying to formulate complete sentences, "You're the first. Others just over the bra."

The knowledge of this made me feel special. I was the first that she allowed this close to her. I must've been doing something right in comparison to the others. I dragged my thumbnail over the tip of her nipple causing another cry out of her lips and I marvelled at how sensitive she was. I pinched it between my fingers again and with a quick glance to make sure her eyes were still closed and her head was back I leaned in and took her nipple between my teeth, through her clothes. Her eyes shot open as she looked down at me, but instead of pushing me away, like I thought she was going to, both her hands tangled in my hair and held me against her.

I was so wet. I could tell she was too because I could feel it. Even through her panties and my jeans, I could feel it on me.

"I'm so wet," I mumbled against her nipple and suddenly she was pushing my head back against the couch and I was suddenly very terrified that my words had just ended this. Instead her fingers found the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head and to the ground before I even knew what was happening.

"Me too," she whispered, softly, her eyes never leaving mine as she took my good hand and slowly dragged it down her body, underneath her skirt. I was holding my breath wondering if this was it, but her hand stopped at the inside of her thigh, that was soaked with her, "Can you feel it?"

I nodded, because I was still having trouble breathing and words at that point were impossible. She leaned down and began to kiss and suck down my chest. Her hips had stilled against me and I figured it was because she was too close to continue. I felt her hands at the front of my jeans and realized she had already popped open the top button and was dragging the zipper down.

"What are you doing," I whispered, staring down at her shaking hands.

She bit her lip again and said, "I just want to feel how wet you are."

Her hand slipped into my jeans, her short nails grazing my centre as her hand rested against the inside of my thigh. She made a short whimper as she discovered my arousal on my thigh and her soft fingers began to stroke up and down.

I couldn't take it anymore. How much was one horny girl supposed to be able to take before she spontaneously combusted? Not even the image of Santana and Karofsky naked and fornicating could save me now.

Ignoring my broken arm, I grabbed Rachel's hips swiftly and tossed her on the couch beside me so she was lying down. My body followed naturally with hers and settled in between her legs, like I was made to be there. The movement didn't even phase Rachel. Instead she smirked, grabbing the back of my head with both hands and pulling me down to her lips.

Right where I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

"Please," she moaned, breaking from my lips and catching me off guard. What did that even mean? Was that her way of telling me that she was ready?

Her lips immediately found mine again and I slid my good hand down her side and gripped the back of her thigh. I broke the kiss enough to ask, "Please what?"

"I need you to stop," she breathed, before pulling me back into a kiss and grinding her hips up against me.

If our pre-game sessions were any indication, I was entirely certain that when we finally had sex, the world would implode. Call me selfish, but even if that were the case, I'd do it anyway.

I was the one who pulled away, eliciting a whimper as my body left hers and I agreed with her reaction. Moments like this I wondered why in the hell we were waiting. I guessed moments like this would make the actual experience that much better, though.

"I should go," I sighed, my body still hovering over hers and it took all of my willpower not to fall back into her arms. My jeans were still open and now sitting halfway down my butt and I saw her eyes drift downwards to my panties that had been uncovered.

"You're very beautiful, Brittany," Rachel said, licking her lips as she trailed her finger tips down my abs and hooked them into the hem of my panties.

Rachel was the queen of mixed signals and hot and cold, and with a shaky breath I groaned, "You're going to be the death of me."

Her eyes flashed up to mine and there was a sexy smirk on her face as she bit down on her lip, "You make me wanna be bad."

"You have no idea," I growled, my eyes staying locked with hers, fighting for dominance or maybe just to tell her that I needed her as much as she needed me. I did. I needed her. Not just sexually, it was like she was my soulmate or some kind of cliched term like that. It felt like even if she wasn't my girlfriend, we still were meant to be the best of friends. We were meant to always be there for each other and help each other through the good times and the bad. Weird right? That I had known her for so long and nothing had come out of it before now. Except maybe there were signs before, and maybe I had noticed without noticing. The little pangs that I felt when I was around her of something that I couldn't decipher so I ignored completely. The little shocks that erupted through my body each time I touched her or brushed against her, they were so slight I could easily shake them off as nothing at all, but now, thinking back, maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. Maybe when you found that one special person in the entire world you got those real sparks between you that you could actually feel. Not the ones that you think you feel because you're attracted to someone, this was different. I wondered if she knew it to.

"What do you feel," I whispered, brushing my nose against hers.

Her lips parted, expecting me to kiss her and completely drawn in to my body. She licked her lips slowly as her hands wrapped around me to my back, pulling me down until I was once again pressed between her legs, "You, all over me."

I rewarded the answer with a kiss to her lips, even though it wasn't what I had meant, and then tried again, "I mean inside."

I shifted my weight to lean on my cast, digging into the couch below her, then dragged my right hand down the middle of her chest, "Do you feel the sparks?"

I was so lost in her and my thoughts that I forgot she probably didn't know what that meant, she hadn't been included in the conversation I had been having with myself.

"I think I've felt them since the first time you hugged me," she breathed, her eyes never drifting from mine and I felt like I could see into her soul. Even without being included in the conversation, we were still on the same page. She still understood everything, "I always knew there was magic between us. It's different with you. I feel like the world makes sense and for the first time in my life, someone really understands me. I'm also a little scared. I've never felt like this before and so fast. I've never wanted to lose control so badly as I do with you."

"You're safe with me," I promised, kissing her gently and taking the time to really feel her lips locking in mine, savouring her. I had to admit, she was the best kisser I'd ever had, and I had kissed a lot of people. Maybe it was because of this strange cosmic bond we had, where we both knew which way to tilt our heads and when the best time was to deepen the kisses. The explosion of fireworks I saw behind my eyes each time was something new too. I always thought when people claimed they saw fireworks when kissing that it was just something they said, and maybe it was for them, but for me, there were real fireworks. Hell, I could hear the whole Macy's Parade in my head.

"I know," she whispered, in between soft kisses and the vibration of her words tickled my lips.

We laid like that for awhile, never escalating past the tender kisses that were too sweet to not enjoy. My body cooled down considerably, as we enjoyed our make out session, and although I was still very aware that I was near half naked with my jeans almost entirely off my butt, the fingers kneading gently into my shoulder blades was enough to satisfy me for now.

A soft beeping noise interrupted us and I broke away from Rachel with a questioning look.

"My dads will be home soon," she sighed, stroking the sides of my face with her fingers.

"You have an alarm to tell you when your dads will be home," I laughed, confused by why she would need that, other than the present time.

"I like to have supper ready for them on Fridays when they get home," she shrugged, "They're always so tired it's just one less thing they have to worry about."

"You're such a good daughter," I smiled, kissing her one final time before sitting back on my heels and retrieving my shirt from the floor. I jumped as I felt her hands on my lower abdomen and looked down to realize that she was helping to button my jeans.

She giggled lightly at my reaction and said, "I thought I would help you because of your arm."

"Thanks," I said, feeling my cheeks grow hot as she zipped up my fly. I threw my shirt over my head before leaning down to kiss her again, "I'll see you tomorrow at seven."

"Tomorrow at seven," she nodded with a smile.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** Sorry guys, school is piling up like crazy and I've been trying to get a portfolio together to send away to the art school I'm applying for. I got midterms coming up, starting October 17th, so I'm going to be horribly busy this month. I really wish I had more time to write, but unfortunately that is not the case. I will try not to make you guys wait so long for the next chapter, but I really can't make any promises. School comes first. On the upside... I believe I will be able to get the next chapter of Summer Nights up tonight too if you follow that. No I haven't forgotten about that story, it's apparently impossible for me to write 2 stories at the same time and I really love this one.

**A/N2:** I think I wrote this chapter 4 or 5 times... for some reason it was really hard. Maybe because I'm just so distracted with school and real life, but everything I wrote sounded terrible, so I hope this turned out alright! Thanks for reading!

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><p>The first thing I did, once I was safely tucked away in my room, was send a text message to Quinn to see how Santana was doing. About twenty seconds went by before my cell erupted into song, signalling a call coming through, and I didn't even have to check the screen to know it was Quinn.<p>

"It's Brittany... Bitch," I said, using the greeting I had started after finding new love for Britney.

"Hi," Quinn said curtly, and I could hear Santana's over dramatic sobs in the background.

"I just don't understand what happened," I heard her sob and it sounded like she was sobbing into Quinn's shoulder, "Just one minute you're-you're hating someone and you're planning their death and then the next-the next-"

"Brittany," Quinn said, her voice sounding strained as Santana continued to incoherently sob, "I need your help."

"Is that Brittany," Santana said, her sobs halting and I heard her sniffle.

I sighed as I thought it over, slumping down onto my bed. I felt like it would be a major betrayal to Rachel if I went, and yet I still felt a loyalty to the Unholy Trinity. I was still angry with Santana too, but we tended to work things out better when we talked, or shouted at each other.

"Britt," Quinn said and I realized Santana's cries had started up once again, "You still there?"

I went to brush my hand through my hair, nervously, but forgot about the cast and ended up knocking myself in the forehead with it. I decided to blame that one on Stupid Brittany.

"Yea," I sighed again, getting to my feet, "I'm on my way."

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><p>When I got to Santana's, her and Quinn were both a mess. They were sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, several cartons of different flavoured, half melted, ice cream created a circle around them, and Santana was licking at her spoon while quietly sobbing against Quinn's shoulder. Once Santana noticed my presence her silent sobs immediately vocalized and she began to babble incoherently, while Quinn's eyes were screaming at me to save her.<p>

That was about the moment when I realized I should never have come at all. I wasn't sure what I thought I would accomplish by coming, but I was suddenly realizing that being there could only make things worse.

"What is wrong with me," Santana cried, in a brief moment of clarity, mascara running down her cheeks and puddling on the white tiles beneath her.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Quinn sighed, her voice sounding tired and strained, demonstrating to me how long she had been at this with her.

"I'm in love with-," Santana paused staring up at me and then wrinkling her nose in disgust, as if saying it out loud was physically too painful for her, "I-I I'm in love with-"

"Rachel," I finished for her, unable to bear another stutter, especially at my girlfriend's expense. That would be the reason why I shouldn't have been there. It didn't even make sense. What was I going to do? Convince her that it wasn't that bad to be in love with my girlfriend? Rachel was mine and although I was pretty confident that she wouldn't leave me for Santana, I still felt like I was competing with the guys like Finn and Puck for her attention. The last thing I needed was to add another girl to the mix, not to mention my supposed best friend.

So, really, what on earth was I doing there?

"I shouldn't be here," I sighed, shaking my head as I quickly turned to leave. I heard the spoon clatter to the floor behind me and suddenly I felt Santana leap onto my back from behind. Her arms wrapping tightly around my neck as her legs locked around my waist.

"Stay, Britt," she sniffled, pitifully, in my ear and I could feel the tears on her cheek as she pressed it to mine, "I need my Britts."

"You don't need me," I said, rolling my eyes. If anything I was going to make things worse, "And I really don't need to hear you talk about my girlfriend like she's a leper."

"This is hard for me," Santana said, dropping down from my back and moving in front of me, "You may be comfortable with dating the girl who we deemed to be the school loser for the fourth year running, but this is completely new to me."

"San," I said, shaking my head and folding my arms across my chest, "This isn't new to you, you just refused to see it."

"What are you talking about," Santana demanded, her eyes narrowing at me.

"Come on, Santana. You've been in love with Berry since freshman year when she found you crying in the janitor's closet and stayed with you, holding your hand," Quinn replied, stepping beside me. "You wouldn't shut up about how much of a loser she was and made us all start calling her 'Man-Hands'. It was so obvious."

I had never heard this story before and it was a little odd hearing that this happened without my knowledge. I had always believed that Quinn originated that nickname for her, but I had never really thought to wonder where it came from. Quinn was creating new horrible nicknames daily, so it never occurred to me to ask how it started. I began to wonder if Quinn had actually come up with any of them or if it had been Santana this whole time.

"I didn't know about that," I said, turning towards Quinn.

"It was disgusting how she was drooling all over her," Quinn groaned then quickly recollected herself, remembering that Rachel was now my girlfriend and added, "I mean, disgusting because she was pretending that she hated her when it was obvious she totally loved her."

I looked back over at Santana who was staring blankly at the wall behind us, her mouth had fallen open slightly as if she was about to say something at one point, but was now frozen in thought. After a minute past and Santana hadn't moved or even blinked, Quinn and I exchanged a look before I gently gave Santana's shoulder a nudge.

"I think you're right," Santana said softly after another minute had passed, "All this time, all this energy that I had been putting towards hating her, it's just been one massive cover up."

I was starting to get that uneasy feeling again. Now that Santana had realized she had these feelings, I wanted to make sure that she understood that Rachel was mine and there wasn't going to be some fight for her because I already had her.

"I'm glad you've had this epiphany," I said softly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, "But I want to be clear that Rachel is off limits. She's my girlfriend, San, and I really don't want to fight with you over this anymore. More than anything, I just want us to be friends again. All three of us."

"Me too," Quinn nodded, wrapping her arms around each of our shoulders, "Your fighting is totally throwing off the Unholy Trinity dynamic and this is our last year. We should be ruling this school together, not sinking to the bottom of the barrel with our feuding."

"I miss us too," Santana agreed, "But I don't know how to just push these feelings aside now that I know what I know."

"You've been doing it for the past three years," I reasoned, but I knew that hiding feelings like that for someone was definitely no easy task and I also knew that once Santana got attached to someone, her tunnel vision could be deadly. "Please, San, for me."

"Sure," she smiled, leaning her head on Quinn's shoulder, but I could see in her dark eyes that she was not at all ready to drop this. If my thinking was right, I was going to need to have a talk with Rachel about everything.

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><p>I made it to the competition site by six-thirty the next morning and the entire place was deserted, which I was very thankful for. It looked like it was mostly set up and ready to go and only had a few touch ups to finish off today before the competition began tomorrow.<p>

I slowly walked my bike to the start line of the supercross course and sat down on my bike. I sat there for a few minutes, eyes closed, just taking deep breaths and concentrating on what I was about to do. I could almost hear Rachel screaming at me not to do it, that I could get hurt and end everything. Part of me wanted to listen to her, but there was that dread still inside me that I might only get one chance at this.

Finally, I opened my eyes and stared hard down the course, as much of it as I could see from my angle. I could do this. It wasn't my fear holding me back, it was Rachel's. I kick started the engine, testing the movement in my wrist as I revved it, trying not to wince at the pain that erupted. Braking was going to be an issue too, I realized as I stretched my fingers out to grasp the brakes. I was more than determined though, and no amount of pain was about to hold me back. I put my helmet over my head and leaned forward into my bike, lifting my feet at I began to accelerate through the course.

The first hill was small and the impact absorbed by my wrist wasn't so bad, but the next hill was quite larger and consisted of hitting the tops of two more smaller hills on the way down. I hit the last hill hard, allowing too much of the shock to be absorbed into my arm and I immediately felt the cast crack and cut painfully into my skin. I stopped my bike, kicking it to the ground angrily as I threw my helmet at it. It wasn't fair. I knew I could do this. I knew that I could win this entire competition.

I felt something warm begin to trickle down my arm and I took off my leather jacket to find a piece of fiberglass stuck deep in my arm. I could hardly even feel it I was so angry.

"Fuck," I screamed in frustration, kicking my bike again.

"Brittany," I heard someone call from behind me, startling me and I almost fell over when I spun around to see who was there.

It was Rachel, sitting in the front row of the stands, watching me with a sad and guilty look on her face.

"What are you doing here," I asked, trying to calm myself down so I didn't start to flip out on her.

"You told me yesterday you were going to try running the course, I was worried," she said, moving her legs over the fencing that separated the stands from the course. I wrapped my good arm around her waist before she could jump down on her own and hurt herself, and then pulled her against me, slowly lowering her. "Are you alright?"

Hearing those words, I broke. I felt like my dreams were slipping away, if I didn't have motocross, I had nothing. I buried my face into her shoulder and began to cry, falling against her as she leaned back against the fence, somehow supporting the majority of my weight with her small frame.

"It's okay," she soothed, rubbing her hands up and down my back. I could feel her begin to tremble slightly and I knew she was starting to cry too, "Please don't cry, Britt. I don't know what to do when you cry."

I couldn't stop, though. All I could do was wrap my arms around her tighter, dig my fingers into her skin and clutch her like if I let go, I would be letting go of everything I had.

"This isn't the end, Britt," Rachel continued, "You're going to have many more chances to prove to the world how amazing you are. One competition is nothing. When your arm is healed we can take a road trip somewhere and find an even better competition than a tiny Lima one."

"The season is over," I sighed, pulling away from her neck, knowing that my face had to be a mess of tears and possible drool, "It's over until next year."

"I'm so sorry, I should've moved out of the way," Rachel said, tears streaming down her own cheeks, "This is all my fault."

"Stop," I shouted at her, "I'd do it again. You mean more to me than this."

"I do," she asked, her voice sounding so small as she looked up at me with her big brown eyes.

"Of course you do," I sniffed, pulling her against me and sliding down the fence until we were both sitting in the dirt and leaning back against it. "You know how much you mean to me."

"Tell me," she said slowly, shifting so she could look me in the eyes, expectantly.

She placed her hand on top of my forgotten broken cast and I licked my dry lips as I stared back at her.

"Rach," I said, pausing as I realized what I was about to say to her and yet I wasn't nervous at all to say it, "I lo-"

"Oh my god," she interrupted, her attention turned downwards and I followed her horrified gaze. Somewhere between the anger and tears, the blood had managed to paint almost my entire arm, from the elbow down. The cast was almost completely split down the middle and I could suddenly feel the piece digging into my arm near the top of the cast.

"Pull it out," I groaned, holding my arm out to Rachel who only stared back at me with the widest of eyes.

"I-I can't," Rachel cried, cringing from the thought.

I sighed, using my right hand and gripping the large piece of fiberglass firmly between my fingers. I closed my eyes, slowly counting down from three in my head and when I reached zero, I pulled at the piece as hard as I could. I felt the piece move out a few millimetres, but my fingers slipped and couldn't get it out all the way.

I opened my eyes, fresh tears leaking out the corners of my eyes from the pain, and I really did not want to try doing that again. Rachel's delicate fingers were suddenly on my arm and I studied her face as she gave me a sure nod.

"On three," she whispered, holding the fiberglass tightly with one hand and stroking the back of my upper arm with her other, "One... two... three."

On three, I closed my eyes and felt the piece rip all through my skin and out of my arm. I opened my eyes as I let out an unsteady breath, the pain in my arm almost unbearable now. Between the lack of support on my wrist from the broken cast and the slash in my arm, the pain was blinding.

"Are you okay," Rachel asked softly and I watched as she tore a strip of material from the bottom of her shirt.

"Not really," I said and I was crying again. I leaned my head down on her shoulder, watching my arm as she tied the strip of material tightly around my cut.

"We need to get you to the hospital," she sighed, getting to her feet and helping me up with her.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in sweat pants," I said, staring down at the grey sweatpants that were rolled down low on her hips. It was amazing how she could make anything look good.

She blushed lightly, "I didn't change after going through my morning workout."

That was when I realized that her hair was tied back in a tight ponytail and there was a light pink headband keeping any strays that might want to fall, away.

I was about to tell her how amazing she looked, how beautiful she was, but she began to speak before I could say anything.

"It's nice that you give me so many compliments," she said, chewing on her lip nervously as her eyes met mine, "But I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Inside and out."

I watched her walk outside the track, towards her dad's car, lost and almost stunned by what she had said to me. Finally I gathered myself up, and chased after her, jogging up behind her as her hand grabbed for the door handle on her car.

"Rachel," I said, spinning her around until her back was pressed up against the car. I cupped her face with my good hand, tracing the little moles on her cheek before drifting down to her lips where I let my thumb drag across her full lips. I swallowed, feeling the words once again on the tip of my tongue, but this time there would be no interruptions, this time there would be no uncertainties. I don't think there ever really were any.

I sucked in a breath, moving my lips closer to hers but keeping my eyes locked on her own, "I love you, Rachel."

Her mouth fell open slightly as her brow furrowed together and I knew I had caught her entirely off guard. It felt so good to say it though, even if she didn't feel the same and didn't say it back. It just felt so good to finally know where I was and understand my own feelings.

Her eyes were searching mine and she had a doubtful look in her eyes as if she wasn't sure if she should believe me or not.

"I know it's soon," I said, feeling like I should explain, "I know we haven't been seeing each other for very long, but I don't even know how to explain it. I feel like I've been with you all my life and I already can't imagine living without you. I don't mean to scare you, but when I lie in bed at night I can't sleep because images of our future keep playing over and over again in my head like home movies. I just realized that I don't want to be anywhere except beside you."

I stopped speaking because her eyes had filled up with tears and they were beginning to pour down her cheeks. Her eyes had fallen to the ground and I was suddenly wondering if I had read everything wrong. It was possible that I had just freaked her out with all this future talk, when she was happily living in the safe new relationship we had just started.

It was certainly far too early in the relationship to be talking about love, but for the first time in my life I could feel it. I could feel the burning in my chest and the uncomfortable ache in my bones that told me I needed this girl. She was the only thing I could think of, the only thing I dreamed of, she had taken over my entire life and turned it upside down in a matter of weeks. Any longer and I couldn't imagine how much more she could affect my life.

I heard her sniffle as her eyes stayed fixed on the gravel below our feet and I could see the tears dripping off her chin. I was crying again too. I really wasn't normally an emotional wreck, but being around Rachel seemed to have this wild affect on my tear ducts.

"Rachel," I whispered, my thumb wiping away the tears on her cheeks, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Her hand covered my mouth before I could finish speaking and she finally lifted her chin so I could see her tear stained face. She bounced lightly on her toes as she bit down on her bottom lip, fresh tears escaping out of the corners of her eyes as her hand left my lips. It caught on my shirt and she pulled me towards her, closing the small distance between us as our lips met in the gentlest kiss we'd ever shared. Her lips tasted salty from the mixture of our tears and yet, oddly enough, it was the sweetest tasting kiss I'd ever had, topping any flavoured chapstick she owned. It was real. The emotion behind it was so real and we could both feel it. The kiss never deepened, it was just a simple array of our lips softly locking and then releasing moments later. Slow and steady and every once in awhile another tear from either one of us slipped in between and salted the kiss further.

"I love you so much," I whispered in between kisses, no longer ashamed of how much I needed another person.

She cupped my face in her hands, pushing me back slightly so that she could look in my eyes and whispered the words I was praying for, "I love you too, Brittany. I think that I always will."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** So sorry this took me so long to write! I've been falling behind in school and didn't do so well on my midterms so I need to focus more on my school work. On the upside, this chapter is far longer than any of the others that I have written, so hopefully it will be able to keep ya happy for a little while. I'll try to update as soon as I can.

As always R & R and thank you so much for sticking with me! I LOVE reading everyone's comments :D!

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><p>I have to say, life felt quite different after that. Once I admitted to Rachel, and to myself, that I loved her, and when she said it back, it was like we were living in a different place or an entirely different world altogether. We had our own world, just the two of us, that no one could touch us in. Everything felt natural and it was really hard to explain it in words, but I realized that I had never felt so content in life than I did at that moment. Those three words I never hesitated saying, again and again, every chance I got. It was how I said good night, how I said good morning and absolutely everything in between. Once they came out, I never wanted to put them away again.<p>

Looking back on that moment now, it was easily one of the best moments of my life.

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><p>The hospital trip was fairly short and uneventful, except that we couldn't stop staring at each other with silly, stupid grins. Rachel would just glance over at me, innocently enough, then I would look at her and she would begin to smile a little and I found myself mirroring her until we were both sitting in the waiting room and giggling. We must've looked insane, but neither of us could care less.<p>

I got seven stitches, which wasn't too bad (I'd had much worse), and a new cast. I was awake to pick the colour this time and I picked pink, for my girlfriend. When we got back into her car, she found a Sharpie marker in the glove compartment and signed my cast in big black letters, taking up the entire length and adding her signature star at the end. Her eyes were concentrated and determined as she tried to write her name perfectly on the curved, uneven surface and she blew a puff of air at the stubborn bangs that repeatedly fell into her view. Her tongue had poked out for just a second as she bit down on it while drawing the star and I smiled to myself as I watched her, so encased in what she was doing. She blushed as she finished, realizing that I had been staring at her the entire time and she ducked her head while tucking her hair behind her ears and asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

My smile grew but I didn't respond, instead I turned down the passenger visor so that I could see her signature on my cast in the tiny vanity mirror and the uneasy breath I inhaled caught me off guard. I could remember that not so long ago I was worried about having Rachel on my arm as we walked around school and sometime, when neither of us was really paying attention, the world had turned upside down on its axis and the pride that I felt, for just having a simple signature on my cast, was overwelming. It was her signature and that made it irreplaceable.

I took the marker from her hand, before she could put it away, and lightly pulled the neckline of her camisole down with one hand and used my other to sign my name over her left breast.

"What are you doing," she asked as I placed a gentle kiss to the area when I was finished.

It was silly and cheesy, but I had acted on impulse and suddenly the entire thing seemed embarrassing, but I shrugged and answered anyway, "You signed my broken arm to help heal it, I signed your heart to protect it from ever breaking."

I could see her breath catch in her throat as she locked her fingers around the back of my neck and pulled me towards her for a kiss. She mumbled how much she loved me against my lips and I responded in the same manner as I awkwardly leaned over the stick shift. I broke away from her, reluctantly, a few minutes later, knowing that we couldn't sit in the hospital parking lot all day and a disappointed sigh left her throat as my body moved away from hers.

She dropped me back off at the competition site, where I had left my car, and the site was now bustling with people. I leaned into the driver side window, giving her a kiss to tide us both over until we saw each other again, and when I leaned away from her she had a sad look on her face.

"What's wrong," I asked, lifting her chin towards me with the tips of my fingers.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said, forcing a smile, "Silly really."

"Tell me anyways," I urged, resting my cast on the window frame and swiping my thumb across her chin.

"Well," Rachel said slowly, taking in a large breath and rolling her eyes as she let it out, "I don't want you to go."

I smiled slightly, because I knew the feeling and it felt good to know that we were both, truly, on the same page. Even if we were apart for mere minutes it felt like days and I understood how crazy that sounded. I knew that most people would scoff at how quickly and deeply we had fallen for each other, but my only response to that was that those people had never really experienced true love. In the past I had never even considered that there was one person out there for everybody, who when you met them and were with them, everything would be exceptionally amazing for the rest of their lives. Soulmates I supposed the term was. I was too busy keeping score in the race to the most people I could sleep with, relationships just felt like something to hold me back.

Rachel had made things different from the start. I could always feel it, that invisible chain holding us together and drawing us back when we had strayed too far from each other. I was sure no one else around us had even noticed that there was any kind of connection between us, there really wasn't anything to see. Rachel and I had never spent much time together, but when we did have our brief encounters, no one was watching us. The times when I would wrap an arm around her during a musical number, or dance a little nearer than needed in rehearsal, remembering how my stomach would flutter when I had to stand next to her and her bare arm would graze against mine, there were so many little hints that I had been ignoring for a long time and had gone unnoticed by everyone around us.

"You'll see me tonight," I reasoned, for both her sake and mine, knowing that I wanted to leave as much as she wanted me to, but she pouted in response.

"It's going to be a long six hours," she sighed.

"Text me when you get home," I smiled, leaning in to bite her earlobe playfully, as my hand teased her side.

"You could just stay with me," she said softly, hooking a finger into the neck of my shirt and tugged it towards herself, pulling me into a kiss.

I broke away, finding the strength that she obviously didn't have at that moment, and winked at her as I straightened.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I said, turning towards the motocross track and leaving her behind to watch me walk away and find my discarded bike.

* * *

><p>I had just closed the door to my bedroom behind me when I heard the familiar chime of my phone, telling me I had received a text message. I dropped back onto my bed unceremoniously as I fished the phone out of my jeans and illuminated the screen.<p>

_Entertain me.  
><em>_-Rach_

I pressed my lips together as I tried to think of a way to pass the time, but, as usual, my hormones were controlling my brain and all I could thing about was sexting.

_Did you have something in mind?  
><em>_-Britt_

I switched my phone to vibrate and dropped it on my stomach as I stared up at my plain, boring, white ceiling, patiently awaiting her next message. It came about thirty seconds later, and I smiled at the feel of the vibrations against my stomach.

_Tell me about your first time._

The words surprised me. She had said that she didn't want to talk about my past sexual relationships and now she was asking for the information. I wasn't sure what she was getting at, what the information she was looking for was, so I decided it was best to ask her to clarify before I put my foot in my mouth.

_What do you want to know?_

The wait was longer in between texts this time, two minutes longer, and when you're waiting for a text, two minutes is a very long time. But it finally came and I eagerly scooped up my phone, from the bed this time, to see what she had texted back.

_How did it happen? How old were you? What was it like? Were you scared? Did you love them?_

I smiled at the list of questions because with my eyes closed, I could actually hear her blurting them out, one after another without even taking a breath, and expecting me to answer just as quickly.

I wasn't prepared to give all that personal information away for free, though, and I was an expert in trading.

_Send me a pic and I'll tell you._

I hadn't said _naked_ picture, so I figured the probability of her agreeing to the request would be pretty high. It took even longer for her to reply this time, though, and I wondered if I had upset her. Maybe from her point of view she was really just trying to have a conversation with me, a heart to heart, open conversation, and I was ruining it by asking for things in exchange.

My fears vanished though when I clicked a button to illuminate the screen on my phone and found a picture loading. I held my breath as it loaded. I'm not sure what I was expecting, I knew that she was going to be fully clothed, but I think it was the fact that she was doing what I told her to that was so exciting.

My breath still managed to catch when the photo finally loaded and my hand began to travel down my body as I took it in. She was laying on her bed, just as I was, and she had held out her phone above her to take the picture. Her hair was lightly messed around her pillow, her camisole wrinkled and raised enough so that I could just make out a small glimpse of her tanned stomach, and she had a nervous smile that told me this was the first time she'd ever sent anyone a picture like this before. My absolute favorite part of the picture, though, the part that was driving me wild, was that the angle she had taken it, was the exact way that I would be seeing her if I was laying above her on that bed with her.

_Did you know I have the sexiest girlfriend in the world?_

I smirked as I typed it out and sent the message, because maybe not everyone would associate Rachel Berry with 'sexy', but I knew better.

_You really think so?_

The words stung a bit, because I knew it was a real question. She was so insecure inside and I was still trying to get over the guilt of being one of the perpetrators to have had a hand in putting those insecurities there in the first place.

_Do you really think I'd be with you if I didn't?_

After I sent the text I realized that I could've probably responded with something a little better than that. A definite 'yes' or an 'of course' would've likely been better than the open ended question I had sent, but I hoped she understood the meaning.

_Sometimes I wonder why you're with me..._

My heart broke as I read the text, genuinly upset that she still didn't get it. She still couldn't see past the teasing and bullying and realize how extraordinary she was.

_I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. If I were to make a list about the reasons why I'm with you, it would be never ending. I love your smile and the way you get excited at the littlest things. I love how you're always able to pick yourself up off the ground when things get rough and your almost entirely consistent positive outlook. I love the way you roll your eyes at me when I say something stupid, or your ability to make me feel like the only person in the world when you look at me. I'm with you because when I think about where I'll be in ten years, all I can see is you._

I was typing the message frantically, not stopping to read the words over again, as my mind began to spit out sentences. By the time I had it all written out I realized that there was so much more I wanted to say, but decided I better let her sit with those words for now.

Minutes went by and a response from her never came and I tried to think of all the things she could be doing that would prevent her from writing me back. It was frustrating, not knowing what was going on at her end. I rolled onto my side, hugging my phone in my arms and closed my eyes for a moment as I tried to wait as patiently as I could.

Almost immediately after my eyes had shut, my phone erupted into vibrations and I quickly mashed the buttons to turn the screen on. When it finally lit up, it showed another loading screen, indicating that I was receiving another picture from Rachel. My heart skipped as I waited, anxious to see what this one would show.

When the image finally loaded, I would've probably passed out, had I not already been lying down on my bed. She was still in the same position, lying back on her bed with the camera angled above her, but her camisole was gone, leaving her in a black bra with hot pink stars, and she was playfully biting the tip of her index finger on her free hand. Her skin looked so soft and smooth, except for the bite marks and hickeys that I had given her on our previous adventures, and the look in her dark, dark eyes, was one purely of need.

_Is this enough? Can you answer my questions now?_

Her text message interrupted my daydream and I felt myself nodding idiotically as I typed my response.

_Yes. That's more than enough._

I sent the text and then hesitated as I recalled my first time. I had no regrets about it, I had very few in life despite the many major mistakes I had made, but I was always one to believe that to have regrets meant that you didn't like the person you had become. Every little mistake made in life shapes who that person becomes. It still wasn't something I was exceedingly proud of. I probably should have waited until it meant something, or until I was a little older, but sex had never meant more than sex to me.

_I was 14 and it was with a boy named Hayden. I had a bit of a crush on him, but I wasn't in love with him. It was his 15th birthday party and he asked me if I wanted to see his room. I agreed and once in his room we started making out on his bed and he asked me if I wanted to go all the way. We had sex. It was uncomfortable and awkward. End of the magical story._

I'd never actually talked to anyone about my first time before and it felt strange doing it with Rachel. I really hated the fact that I couldn't see her as I was telling her to gauge her reaction to everything. I hoped that I wasn't turning her off from the idea of sex or giving her a bad image of me. Thankfully, I did not have to wait long for her next text.

_That sounds a little sad. This may sound selfish, but if you want to, I would like to think of our first time and my first time as your first time too._

The words confused me. It sounded nice, but how was it suppose to be my first time when I had sex with almost the entire school population.

_How would that work?_

There was a lump in my stomach that was making me wish I waited. That I had waited for someone special and for that perfect moment just like Rachel had been doing all this time. I had never really cared about it before, but being with her made me cherish the intimate moments and understand what it meant to share your body with someone you love and only that person. In the past I would never hesitate to cheat on the person I was with, I had 'Stupid Brittany's innocence as an excuse, but in all truth cheating didn't mean anything to me. Now that I was with Rachel, I couldn't even imagine hurting her like that, nor did I even find anyone remotely attractive anymore. Maybe it was because it was all too new and we hadn't had sex yet, but I knew in my gut that was not the reason. I couldn't imagine a situation where I could rationalize cheating on her in my head.

She was mine and I was hers and that was it.

_Just believe it. You're not the same person you were when you had your first time. You're not the fake Brittany you created to fit in with the Cheerios. This will be the first time that the real Brittany S. Pierce has sex. It really will be your first time, Brittany, and I really want it to be with me._

The last sentence gave me great pause. She wanted my first time as the real Brittany to be with her. There was no indication on when that first time would be, but I knew, somehow I knew, that I would not be waiting much longer. We had gotten to our 'I love you's. We had admitted them truthfully and openly and we had come out to the entire school. There were no secrets and we were living this perfect relationship and sex was the inevitable next step that I knew we would be getting to soon. The build up was excruciating and extraordinary all at once and as much as it frustrated me that my lower half was tied in knots with the unresolved sexual tension, I was still loving every minute of it. The uncertainty of when it would happen and the rush of taking it that little bit further each time was making it that much more exciting.

_You're right, as always ;). This will be the first time that I will be having sex as myself, and not playing a part, and I'm so glad it's going to be with you. I'm so thankful to have you in my life, Rachel. You keep calling me your hero, but you're the real hero. You saved me from the hole I had kept digging for myself and didn't know how to crawl back out of. You're my angel. You're the only person who's ever really known me and I promise that you will always be safe with me._

I was near tears as I typed the message, my thumb shaking as I pressed the 'send' button, but being so open to another person was never my strength. People always thought that they knew me, but every bit of information I gave them was always just a lie. Even Santana didn't really know anything about me. Quinn didn't either, but she was so inciteful and although I never confided in her, she knew that all I was speaking was lies. I loved her for never calling me on it and simply giving me that all knowing half smile. As much as I considered Quinn to be a sister to me, in another life, I could've seen things between us being very different.

_Thank you for waiting for me, Brittany. It means a lot to me that you are willing to do this for me. I've had so many people try to pressure me into having sex and, although we can get carried away at times, you always respect me enough to stop and not press it upon me. When I ask you to stop, I never have to feel guilty about it, because I know you understand. _

I was happy that she could see how hard it was for me to hold back, her sending me that message and awknowleding the struggle I had been having and thanking me for it, made me glad that all my efforts hadn't gone unnoticed. It was so hard not to pressure her, but I didn't want to be one of those kinds of people, and more than anything I did want our first time to be special. I wanted it to be just as perfect as Rachel imagined it.

_We have all the time in the world, Rach. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. _

* * *

><p>"Brittany," Leroy exclaimed as he welcomed me at the door later that evening. He quickly wrapped me into a warm embrace, as he said, "You truly are a godsend."<p>

I wished I was welcomed like this in my own home.

"Why," I asked as he pulled away from me and ushered me into the house.

"Rachel told us about the song you sang to her in front of the whole school and saving her life at your own expense," he said motioning towards my cast, "It's so nice to know that Rachel has found someone that cares for her as much as Hiram and I do."

"Oh," I smiled, not sure how to respond to such a wonderful compliment.

"No need to be bashful," Leroy said, his warm smile seeming to grow larger with each word, "You're a hero."

I shrugged, feeling my cheeks grow hot as I wasn't used to getting such kind words from adults. I decided to quickly change the subject before the water works began and looked up the stairs, "Is Rachel waiting to make her grand entrance again?"

"Not today," Leroy laughed and then leaned in to whisper, "Although between us, she has asked how she looks a few hundred times in the past hour."

"So where is she," I asked, looking into their sitting room and finding it empty.

"Here," Rachel bounced out of the kitchen, "I needed some water."

She looked stunning as always, wearing a short black skirt and a dark red top with a low neckline. It was a little fancier than something she'd wear to school, a little more adult, and I think what I loved the most was that I was getting both worlds. During the day I got my school girl fantasy and at night I got something a little more elegant.

"I have a surprise for you," she said excitedly, skipping around behind me and covering my eyes with her hands. She pressed up against my back, using her body to guide me where she wanted me to go and after we had walked a few steps, her hands fell and she said, "Open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and found myself in their sitting room facing their back wall. The wall had several framed pictures of Rachel in different stages of her life and in the middle, the biggest out of all the pictures, with the most elegant gold frame that could be imagined, was the photo of Rachel and I in our gowns for the country club dinner. She was standing on the steps, with her arm extended, and I was leaning down and kissing it. It looked like something out of a fairytale movie, even if there were two princesses. It was a modern fairytale.

What struck me more than the beauty of the photo, was that I was on the Berry family wall, framed and all. It was like I was a part of the family already, like this was their welcoming gesture, and I could feel myself beginning to get emotional once again.

"Rach," I breathed, blindly reaching for her hand and after a few failed attempts at finding it, she took pity on me and slipped hers into mine, "It's so perfect."

I felt her chin rest on my shoulder as I continued to stare in awe at it, still in disbelief that her and her family had accepted me so easily, and she whispered, "You're perfect."

I finally tore my eyes away from the photo and turned my head to look at her face still on my shoulder, smiling modestly as I gave her nose a soft kiss and whispered back, "I love you."

She squeezed my hand in hers and used the fingers on her other hand to gently draw lines up and down my arm, "I love you, too."

"Hiram, aren't they just adorable," I heard Leroy say from somewhere behind us, reminding me of their presence.

"Dad, you're embarrassing me," Rachel said through clenched teeth, but I knew it was an act. She was loving all of this. Her dad's knew as well, smirking to each other as Rachel rolled her eyes and pretended to be annoyed with them.

I kissed the top of her head, momentarily realizing that, motocross aside, my life was perfect. Maybe not perfect, but all the parts that were less than perfect, Rachel made up for by just being with me.

"Oh, Brittany," Hiram spoke up as if he was just recalling something.

"Yes," I asked, turning towards her dads, but keeping her hand in mine.

"Leroy and I would like it if you came for dinner tomorrow evening," he smiled, "You know, in honour of your heroic endeavors towards our daughter the other day."

"I'm cooking," Rachel exclaimed, her grip on my hand tightening as she rocked back on her heels.

"I can't wait," I smiled back down at her, resisting the urge to kiss her in front of her dads.

"Excellent," Leroy said and I turned back towards the photo for one last look before leading Rachel towards the front door.

"We've gotta go," I said, almost apologetically, to Rachel's dads. I wanted to stay and talk to them longer, it actually felt better to be in Rachel's house, with her family, than to be in my house with mine, but once again, my surprise had a specific time.

"Not too late, now," Hiram warned Rachel and she rolled her eyes once again in response.

"Dad," she said, drawing the word out and using a tone to say that he was being unreasonable, even though he hadn't really given her a curfew. It felt like it was a ritual that they always did. I could tell they trusted her completely and had so much faith in their daughter that she would make the right choices, but they still wanted to keep her close by and were fighting with themselves to give her the space to grow into an adult.

Leroy laughed at Rachel's whined response and said, "Have fun girls."

I gave them both a smile and nod as we left her house, leading her down the front steps to my car, keeping her hand in mine until she was sitting in the passanger side and I had to close the door behind her. Once I had settled into the driver's side and had my door closed, Rachel's hands were around my neck, pulling me towards her until our lips were crashing together. As much as I loved being in control and being the one on top, Rachel's new found confidence in her romantic actions was very sexy and she'd also started doing this little moan in the back of her throat when we kissed, like she wanted me to devour her, and it drove me wild. I wasn't even sure she was aware that she was doing it and, to be honest, it was even hotter knowing that it may be involuntary. I wrapped my arms around her waist as I awkwardly leaned into her, across the stick shift, and shivered as I felt her nails scratch lightly against the skin on the back of my neck. I trailed my right hand down to her hip, rubbing circles there with the palm of my hand as Rachel bit down on my bottom lip and then sucked on it. I moaned softly, letting her know the effect what she was doing was having on me, and she did it again as I leaned even closer to her, pushing my hand down her hip and down into the seat so I could grip her butt. As soon as my hand got there, one of her hands left my neck and pulled my hand up from underneath her, and I couldn't cover the disappointed sigh between kisses. Rachel was full of surprises though, and instead of moving my hand back to her hip, she continued to trail it up her body, over the jutting bone of her hip, the gentle flutter of her stomach, and the bumpy ridges of her ribcage to the soft flesh of her breast. She pressed my hand against her, closing her hand on mine until I had her breast squeezed under my fingers, the same way as the evening before, and she broke away from our kiss to gasp, her dark eyes fixed on mine. Her chest pushed forward against my hand as she heaved in a breath, my name on her lips as she exhaled, making me want nothing more but to have her lips on mine again. Before I could close the distance between us, my attention was turned to the front window of her house and although the street lights were casting a reflection on it, obstructing my view inside, I realized that if Rachel's dads were there, they would likely not be impressed by what I was doing to their daughter.

"Rach," I sighed and her gaze followed mine to her front window.

"I've been thinking about this all day," she whispered, taking her hand off mine and turning in her seat until she was sitting on it properly.

"Me too," I admitted, being with her was the only thing I ever thought about, "but we probably shouldn't be doing this where your dads can see us."

I saw her blush out of the corner of my eye as I turned the ignition and started my car and she slowly licked her lips before she replied, "I can't even think logically when I'm around you anymore. I've suddenly become one of those teenagers who make decisions based soley on their raging hormones, no matter what the consequences."

"No you haven't," I giggled as I pulled out of their driveway and headed down the street, "You're exaggerating."

"I'm really not," she protested, folding her arms across her chest, "So where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise, remember," I smiled, reaching over and giving her knee a squeeze, "Nice try."

She pretended to pout, but a few minutes later she looked more interested in where we were going than keeping up her facade and as we left the lights of Lima behind us, she began to get even more confused.

"Brittany," she said slowly, looking out at the dark empty Ohio fields around us, "Are you kidnapping me?"

"I wish," I laughed, taking the back of her hand to my lips and giving it a loving kiss as we stole away into the darkness of the highway. "We'll be there soon."

"Wouldn't it be lovely to run away together, though," she said excitedly, and her eyes took on the sort of glow they got when she was talking about her future on Broadway.

"Anywhere with you would be great," I said, and for a moment I allowed myself to believe that that was what we were doing. Our suitcases were packed in the trunk of the car as we headed to New York, where Rachel would fulfill her Broadway dreams and I would... I would... Figure something out when I got there.

"It could be like an old black and white movie," Rachel continued, "Two girls in love, heading to the big city to make all their dreams come true. I believe a flapper dress would fit my body perfectly, what do you think?"

"I think we're here," I smirked, pulling off the highway and up to the admissions window. Rachel quickly looked out her window and saw the large sign, almost leaping out of her seat when she read the words.

"Barbra Streisand marathon," she shrieked as I rolled down the window to pay for the ticket at the drive-in movie theatre.

"I saw it in the paper the other day," I explained, taking my change from the lady and driving into the lot. The car rocked as Rachel bounced up and down in her seat and when I finally found a good spot and turned the car off, she practically leaped into my lap as she hugged me.

The old drive-in usually played old black and white movies, like the one Rachel had just been explaining, and I enjoyed coming to see the old Hitchcocks on the big screen. Tonight, however, they had decided to put on a Streisand double feature, consisting of What's Up, Doc? and, of course, Funny Girl. Both movies sounded boring to me, I would much rather watch a good horror or action movie, but obviously I was going to take Rachel when they were playing a Streisand marathon, no matter how much I didn't care for it.

"I have a gift for you," I said softly, suddenly embarrassed at the choice in gift I had made.

"Really," she asked, her face lighting up and she bounced in her seat. Her eyes began to dart around the car before she asked, excitedly, "What is it?"

I reached over her into the glove compartment and retrieved the small white box, handing it to her as I nervously fidgeted with my fingers.

"Open it," I urged, watching her face and wanting to remember her exact reaction to the gift.

She gave me one final look before turning her eyes down to the box and gently pulling off the top.

"Oh, Brittany," she gasped, her hand going to her heart as she stared down at the piece of gold jewelry.

"I know how much you like wearing the name of the person you're dating around your neck," I explained, hoping that she understood that and didn't think it was because I wanted to own her or something crazy like that, "Now, it can be my name. If you want it to."

"Of course I want it to," Rachel whispered, her fingers outlining each letter that spelled out my name. Finally she looked back up at me and held out the box, "Would you put it on me?"

I nodded, cursing my shaking fingers as I carefully pulled the delicate chain from the box and wrapped it around her neck. My fingers fumbled a few times with the tiny clasp until it finally latched and I uttered a celebratory, "There."

She turned back towards me, her fingers playing with my name as she smiled and asked, "How does it look?"

"Absolutely perfect," I breathed, feeling myself getting emotional at my name hanging from her dainty neck.

She leaned forward and kissed me, before settling back into her seat, all the while playing with it as she smirked happily to herself.

As we waited for the movie to start, I watched as Rachel began to shift uncomfortably in her seat and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quickly and then shrugged, "It's just, I would like to cuddle with you, but the shifting thingy is in the way."

"We could sit in the back seat," I offered, pointing my thumb in its direction, and before I had even finished speaking, she had climbed over the centre console and into the backseat. I smirked back at her as she bit down on her lip, "You were just waiting for me to say that, weren't you?"

"Maybe," she shrugged playfully, then grabbed my arm and dragged me back with her on the seat. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she leaned her head against me and I tried my best to pay attention as the movie started.

It definitely wasn't my kind of movie and a few times, when I thought I had blinked, I would discover that at least ten minutes of the movie had gone by. By the time the first movie ended, I was wishing that it wasn't a double feature on tonight, I didn't think I would be able to stay awake for another Streisand movie, but Rachel looked so blissful I wouldn't allow myself to put a damper on it.

"What did you think," she asked as the intermission between movies began.

"One of my favorite movies," I lied, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Really," she asked, her face looking surprised, "I didn't know you could see it through your eyelids."

_Busted._ I really hadn't thought she'd even noticed.

"It's all right," she laughed, bumping my shoulder with hers, "I know it's not your sort of thing and I'm very thankful that I have a girlfriend who is willing to do things that make me happy."

"I want to make you very happy," I said suggestively, turning towards her so that I had one knee on the seat and gently laid her back onto the seat. She shifted beneath me, pulling her knee towards her chest before wedging it inbetween me and the back of the seat so that I could settle between her legs, where I always fit so perfectly. I put my injured arm down on the seat near her shoulders and supported my upper weight there as I leaned down and kissed her. I slipped my good hand between our bodies as we kissed, and had barely gotten it under the hem of her shirt when I felt her hands pushing my shoulders back.

"We should set some rules," she reasoned and then added, "We can get a little carried away when we're making out."

"Okay," I agreed, although not happily, "What are the rules?"

She lifted the bottom of her shirt until I could just see a sliver of the bottom of her black bra with the pink stars, then wiggled her skirt down her hips until I could see the pink hem of her panties. She bit down on her lip, watching me as I stared down at all the skin she was showing me and wondering where the rules part came in.

"You can only kiss the skin you can see," she said, her knuckles caressing my cheek as she spoke. "Is that satisfactory?"

I dragged the fingers of my good hand down her smooth stomach, watching her muscles flutter under my touch and nodded, "For now."

I leaned down to kiss her, but she stopped me again by saying, "Wait."

"What," I whispered, rubbing my hand up and down her side because I assumed she had grown nervous and I was attempting to soothe her. Instead, her fingers found the bottom of my t-shirt and slowly lifted it over my head, her eyes watching my reaction the entire time.

"I want to feel your skin too," she said, her voice so low and filled with arousal it seemed foreign.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to stop," I warned as her hands pressed up along my abs to my lime green bra with the orange polkadots. The feeling was incredible and I closed my eyes as I felt her small hands squeeze the cups of my bra, moving my hips against hers as my nipples hardened in reaction.

"Yes you will," Rachel sighed, leaning up to plant kisses along my neck, "I trust you."

I pushed her hands away from my breasts, resting my cast on the seat beside Rachel's head and supporting my weight on it, while using my good hand to lock one of her wrists against the seat of the car.

"I will never leave you," I whispered the promise against her lips, kissing them softly before adding, "Not ever."

Rachel moaned at the admission, her hips bucking upwards as if the words were enough to send her over the edge.

"Tell me you love me," she cried as my lips had moved down to her neck and I had begun to mark new hickeys on top of the old ones.

"I love you, Rachel," I sighed blissfully, against her neck, loving the way each word felt on my tongue. She let out another moan as her hips rolled against mine again, and I licked a long line up her neck before teasing her bottom lip with a bite.

"I love you too, Brittany," she said, her free hand wrapping around to my back and digging her nails into the soft flesh she found.

I kissed along her jaw, soft, wet kisses that turned into gentle nibbles as I got closer to her earlobe, earning keening noises from the back of her throat. I could tell Rachel was desperately trying to keep her body under control, but there was a big part of her that just wanted to give in, close her eyes and let me take her over, bring her over that line with me and make her a new woman.

She was the same age as me, but as I pulled back and looked down at her, with her eyes closed and her head back as her mouth closed and opened with each new sensation, she looked so young. The mature clothes weren't fooling anyone. Even though she wasn't wearing a sweater with a quilted animal on it, or a pleated skirt made famous by the school girls in Japan, that was who she was. This young, innocent girl who had barely had her first drink nevermind anything else. I could put a joint down in front of her and convince her it was a tobacco cigarette. I felt like I was corrupting her into something she wasn't.

"Why are you looking at me like that," Rachel whispered, nervously, making me realize that I had been staring down at her for awhile.

"You're so innocent," I breathed, brushing my nose against hers, "I don't want to wreck you."

The corners of her mouth twitched into a soft smile, "You can't possibly wreck me. You're making me better. You're completing me."

The way she spoke, so firm, so believeable, my body became frantic as I kissed down her chest, on the skin that was visible, my hands roaming all over her body as my mouth passed over her covered breasts, to the bare skin of her stomach. I felt her stomach rise and fall against my mouth as she gasped for each breath and my hands locked against her writhing hips. I kissed over her subtle abs, stopping to dip my tongue into her naval as she moaned strings of words that meant nothing together.

I licked the line where the hem of her panties sat on her hips, tasting the salty skin that I was craving so much. I was so turned on, but I was determined to comply with the rules Rachel had set out and I discovered a way to get more of the skin I desired, by only bending the rules slightly.

I grabbed on to the backs of her thighs and pressed her knees up to her chest, causing her black skirt to fall around her waist and reveal new skin that I was allowed to touch and taste by her rules. I expected her to push her skirt back down, maybe giggle and tell me that I was cheating, but when I looked back up at her, her eyes were dark and watching me, waiting for my next move.

I sat back on my heels, turning my head to kiss the inside of her knee and bite at the tender skin of her thigh. She let out a startled cry as my teeth bit down a little harder on the inside of her thigh, getting closer towards my goal, but instead of pushing me away, her hands threaded in my long blond hair and almost urged me to keep going. I continued my path up her thigh, stopping every once in awhile to leave a hickey in my wake and then soothe the area with my tongue. Suddenly, when I was just a few inches away, and the smell of her arousal was driving me wild, the taste on her thigh, changed from the almost tasteless skin, to the salty, tangy taste that I knew immediately was Rachel. I was finally getting my first taste of her as I sucked the inside of her thigh and I was already hooked on the addictive taste.

"I can taste you," I groaned, pressing the thigh that I hadn't been licking into the back of the seat and holding it there, holding her legs open as wide as I could. I heard her moan extra loud in response to my comment, but my eyes were drawn to the soaked panties just inches from my nose. I glanced up at her, noting that her eyes were shut and her head was still thrown back, I wondered how much of a taste I could get before she pushed me away.

I went to the crease, were her leg connected with her centre and licked the bare skin there there, pushing my tongue as far under her panties as I could go, while still somewhat sticking to the rules and not removing her clothing. As soon as my tongue swiped across the smooth lip underneath, her fingers tightened in my hair and she quickly sat up, curling her body forward as her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped. She made a sound that I couldn't describe and her body jolted a couple times before she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Did you...," I asked, softly, afraid that I had gone too far and she hadn't been able to stop me in time.

She struggled to catch her breath for a few seconds before finally shaking her head and slumping forward against me, "Too close."

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling her against me as I sat back on the seat, "You taste so good."

She snorted at that comment, but didn't respond, only sat against me, panting in silence.

* * *

><p>We had missed the second movie, spending the entire time making out in my backseat, so after we had become decent again, I started the car, navigating it towards her house.<p>

Rachel was eerily silent the entire time, refusing to even look at me or pull her gaze away from the darkness outside her window. Her hand was continuously playing with the chain I had just given her and I was really starting to worry that I had pushed her too hard tonight.

The drive seemed so much longer and all the while all I could think about was how I had pushed Rachel away and that she was going to tell me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. She would tell me that she thought I respected her more and obviously I didn't because I pushed her so hard.

All of these horrible thoughts just played over and over in my head and every time I looked over at Rachel she was still staring out the window, playing with her neckless, with a look on her face that said she was deeply contemplating something. I just knew that she was think about breaking up with me.

When I finally pulled into her driveway and put the car into park I expected her to bolt from my car. Maybe later I would get a text message saying that things just weren't working between us or she'd call and say she was sorry, but I was pressuring her too much.

But she didn't bolt from the car, or even move at all. She just continued to stare out the window and play with her new necklace. After a few minutes I finally cleared my throat and began to start my apologies, "I'm really sorry, Ra-"

She interrupted me before I could finish with a jumbled outburst that I almost didn't quite understand, "Do you want to come inside?"

My head shot towards her, but she still wasn't looking at me, although her eyes had moved to stare out the front window instead of the passanger. I knew what she said, but I felt like I needed her to repeat it, because maybe I had made it up, "What?"

She was silent for a minute before she finally forced her eyes towards me. They were nervous and shimering in the moonlight, but that determined look that she got when she wanted something was there. She licked her lips slowly before pressing them together and then nodding as she whispered, "I'm ready."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Longest chapter ever.. Once again, I apologize for the wait but school and etc etc life is busy. Also... This story is now over 100k words! I've never written anything even close to this long before.

Hope you enjoy, this was definitely the hardest chapter for me to write. As always please read and review :D!

* * *

><p>"I'm ready."<p>

The words rang out in my head like it was echoing off the inside of my skull, a CD skipping on the same part of a song over and over again, and somewhere far away, I heard someone with a voice remarkably similar to mine ask, "What?"

My eyes were focused outside the front window of the car, but I couldn't tell you what I was actually looking at. My eyes may have been open but they weren't seeing anything. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was so dry I actually choked and ended up in a coughing fit. I was almost positive Rachel was speaking to me, a jumble of words that all ran together until they sounded like one long syllable, and my mind was not at the capacity to keep up.

It wasn't until I felt the soft fingers graze over the back of my hand and then squeeze it tentatively, that I finally broke out of my stupor and was brought back to the here and now. I turned back towards her and my eyes caught on my name sitting so boldly around her neck for a moment before dazedly trailing up to her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, my voice raspy from my dry throat, "I'm having some trouble with-you're going to have to repeat that."

"I'm ready," Rachel said again, her eyebrows knitting together in such a way to tell me that it wasn't the first time she's repeated it.

"To give Fondue for Two another chance," I asked, spitting out words that were in no way connected to my thought process. I knew what she was talking about, but it was so far from what I was expecting, the exact opposite in fact, that I couldn't seem to wrap my brain around the concept.

_Rachel was ready to have sex._

But when did that happen? Wasn't she just pushing me away a half an hour ago?

"I'm ready to be intimate with you," Rachel said softly, and at some point in time she had moved my hand with hers into her lap, but I couldn't recall when that motion happened, "Unless you're not ready?"

"I'm not ready," I said immediately, meaning for it to come out as an absurd sounding question, because of course I was ready, but I was still having such trouble getting a handle on my shocked state that it instead came out as more of a statement. I saw Rachel's eyes disappointedly turn to her lap as she muttered a quiet 'oh' and I realized that I was really going to have to get a grip on myself if I didn't want to ruin everything.

"No, that's not what I meant," I said, my voice steady as I concentrated on keeping the excitement that was starting to build in my veins at a minimum, "I'm ready as long as you're sure, but I'm just wondering what made you change your mind?"

She let in a long breath and let it out slowly, her eyes never leaving mine as the hints of a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth and she whispered, "Before, when you were- when _we_ were in the backseat, I realized that the only thing stopping me from letting you go further, was the fact that we were in the backseat of a car. I wanted to wait until I found someone that I could trust enough to give myself to and I found that person. Maybe I'm just being naive, I know sometimes I want to believe in fairy tales, but I feel like I can trust you with anything."

"So you're ready," I replied, because I felt like I needed repeated confirmation, over and over again to let it sink into my mind.

She sat up straight in her seat, lifting her chin with a firm nod as she gave me a definite, "Yes."

"Right now," I asked, because I wanted to be sure we were on the same page, even though I knew she had invited me inside, I just needed to be absolutely sure.

"Right now," she nodded, squeezing my hand again as her smile grew.

My eyes fell back to the front window and stared up at the garage to the Berry's house that I was parked in front of.

"What about your dads," I asked, realizing that they would likely be asleep in the next room, definitely at home.

"Well, we'll have to be quiet on our way to my room," Rachel answered thoughtfully, "But after the numerous complaints my dads have received from our neighbours about the noise coming from my room, my dads decided it would be best if they had it sound proofed. So, once inside, we could set off fireworks and they wouldn't have any idea."

"That's the plan," I mumbled before I even realized I had said it out loud and I quickly looked back at Rachel to gauge her reaction and found her blushing as she chewed on her bottom lip, trying to hide a smile.

"Are you nervous," I whispered, brushing a hand through her long brown locks.

Her lips twitched before she shook her head and whispered back, "No."

I smiled a little at her blatant lie and rested my hand at the back of her neck, kneading the tense flesh there before leaning over and pressing my lips to her cheek.

"It's me, Rach, you don't have to pretend," I sighed against her skin, closing my eyes as I pressed my nose against her cheek.

She let out a breath she seemed to have been holding and cupped the side of my face, closing her eyes as she leant in to me, "I am nervous. I've never been with anyone like this before. I'm not just going to be naked, but I'm going to be baring my soul to you and showing you all my secrets. I'm going to be trusting you with everything I have."

"No pressure," I sighed, for once actually realizing what having sex meant to her, and it was a little scary. I was ready for sex, no question about that, but sex with Rachel wasn't sex. It was a full body, mind, and soul experience that maybe _I_ wasn't ready for. I wasn't sure if I was ready to completely bare my soul to her, just as she was willing to do for me. I was so sure about everything, so sure that I trusted her with everything, but everyone had their secrets and even though I had divulged most of mine to Rachel, there was still one big one that I hadn't told her about. Was I allowed to be intimate with her like that if I knew I was hiding this secret? Would it feel like a betrayal to her?

"Am I scaring you," she asked softly, as I continued to brush my nose back and forth across her cheek.

"I have secrets," I sighed, giving her cheek a kiss before pulling away from her, "Secrets I'm not ready to talk about."

"That's acceptable," Rachel replied slowly, after a moment's pause, "There are things about me I haven't told you either, but I plan to, one day when I'm ready."

"Me too," I agreed, "It's not about not trusting you with it, I know I can trust you, but it's things I've never told anyone and it's-it's mine."

"It's okay," Rachel said, her eyes watching me for a long while before she added, "Is this your way of telling me you're not ready?"

"I'm ready to give you all I can, but somethings I can't give you," I explained, turning her hand over and planting a kiss on her palm, "If we go upstairs right now, I need you to understand that I will be there with you, all of me; mind, body, soul, spirit, everything, but I can't give you all my secrets. Not yet. If you're alright with that, then I'm more than ready, but I wanted you to know, before anything happened so that you could decide for yourself."

"Does this secret affect us," Rachel asked, her free hand returning to play with her necklace, thoughtfully.

"No," I said with certainty, "It's not about us at all."

"Then it doesn't matter," Rachel nodded, "You can tell me when you're ready. But as for tonight, I've made up my mind about what I want."

I closed my eyes with a sigh of relief, allowing a small smile to tingle on my lips before I snapped back to reality, leaned over the centre console and kissed her. The swiftness of the movement surprised her, but within seconds she was kissing me back with as much intensity.

"I can't believe it," she said, her voice filled with awe when the kiss broke.

"What," I asked as I undid the clasp on my seat belt, preparing to exit my car.

"I'm," she said, then paused, her eyes focusing somewhere outside the front of the car, "I'm about to lose my virginity."

Her eyes were on mine as she said the last word, her cheeks blushing as if it was the first time she had used the word, and searching my eyes for my true response, my true feelings towards the matter.

"Me too," I whispered, "In a different way, but me too. I wish so much that it had been you."

"It is me," she smiled, let go of my hand and within seconds the passenger door was open and she was almost running to the front of the car to wait for me. I watched her for a moment through the front windshield, looking in at me while rocking back and forth on her heels as she impatiently waited for me. I closed my eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply and giving myself one last short moment to reflect on what I was about to do. It was possible that I was more nervous about it than Rachel was, silly as that may have sounded.

When I finally met her at the front of the car, for a moment she just stared up at me with her eyes shining in the moonlight and her lips curled into a blissful smile. I didn't dare to speak, not wanting to break the night's silence in case I somehow woke someone up and ended our plans before we could even begin them. I wasn't entirely sure what she was doing, just standing there and staring at me, but I assumed it had something to do with savouring the moment, or maybe giving herself extra time to make sure it was what she wanted. Either way, after a few minutes, she finally took my hand in hers, entwining our fingers as she turned around and led me up the steps to her front door.

"Wait," I whispered, quickly running down the steps (on my toes as to make as little noise as possible) and opened my car door. I pulled my iPod from the car docking station and shoved it in the pocket of my jeans, before closing the door again and hurrying back to where she still stood on the porch. I locked our fingers back together, giving her an assuring smile to let her know I was ready and had what I needed and she turned back to the door. She pushed her key into the lock and turned it, silently pushing the door open as she turned back to me and pressed a finger to her lips in a muted 'shhh' motion. I gave her a nod back in understanding and she led me into her house.

Her hand stayed locked in mine as she blindly led me through the dark house, not taking a risk in turning on a light. It was her house though, and I assumed she knew it well enough to walk through it with her eyes closed, but luckily enough for me, the moon was casting enough light through the windows to allow me to see my way around the major pieces of furniture. We made our way up the staircase that she always made her grand entrances on and I stumbled into her once, missing a step in the darkness. Her hand caught my elbow, keeping me steady and preventing me from falling down the stairs, and she had to bite back a giggle as I righted myself, before we continued on our silent path to her room.

The stairs led to a very dark windowless hallway and all I could see was the flicker of a blue light, coming from beneath the door at one end of the hall. She turned the other way down the hall, leading me to the room at the opposite end and pushed open the door to her room. Just as she was taking a step inside, I gave her hand a tug backwards, forcing her to turn and press against me. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she silently mouthed the word 'what?'

I was going to do it right. There may not have been time for preparation, but I was going to do the best I could with what I had. I wrapped my good arm underneath her butt while holding my cast against her back to brace her, and then bent my knees as I lifted her against me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her legs around my hips as I carried her into her room. I gently pushed the door closed with my heel, careful not to make any sounds, and once it was closed, she reached behind me and turned the lock.

"This is the best I can do with my broken arm," I said, apologetically, shifting her weight slightly against my good arm.

She smiled as her eyes glistened, looking like she was near tears, and it was an odd change to be looking up at her for once, as the way she sat in my arms gave her about an inch above me.

"I like this," she whispered, brushing her nose against mine and crossing her ankles above my butt.

I glanced around her room, the moon shining so bright through her large window that I could see everything clearly with a blue hue, and realized that I had never actually been in her room before. It was just about everything I was expecting, however, with an ample amount of pink, enough to make Barbie jealous, and it more resembled the room of a six year old rather than a sixteen year old.

She had a white bookshelf with a few trophies on one of the shelves but all the others were lined with colourful books of all sorts and the odd stuffed animal propped up against them. Her desk matched the bookshelf and held her pink laptop and portable stereo, along with a few pencils, pens and a working pink lava lamp, and there was an elliptical machine in one corner of her room. There wasn't much else except for her rather large bed, dressed in hot pink sheets and covered in fuzzy pink and green pillows and several stuffed animals.

I shuffled her towards the bed and sat her down gently at the edge, where she looked back up at me and silently waited for my next move.

"I like your room," I whispered, not because I did but because I felt I should say it. She saw through me instantly though and smirked.

"No you don't," she said, but the news didn't seem to affect her one way or another, "You think it's immature."

"I think we both have some issues that we're going to have to deal with at some point," I shrugged, running my hands through her hair and pushing her bangs back.

"I already have a therapist, what about you," she answered, playfully.

"Not what I want to talk about right now," I whispered, bending down and closing the distance between us as my lips met hers. I sucked in her bottom lip and let it go with a 'pop' as my hands found the bottom of her red shirt and I pulled it up with me as I straightened back up, pulling it over her head and dropping it on the carpet. I watched her hair fall around her shoulders, the soft curls bouncing as they tickled her bare skin and I had to shake my head for a moment as I twisted my finger around a lock.

"I wish I could read your mind," she breathed and my eyes finally broke away from her hair to notice that her hands were tightly gripping the edge of the bed and the expression on her face was all nervous. "You always get so quiet when you look at me and I don't know what to think. Is it good or bad?"

"It's always good," I assured her stroking her cheek with my knuckles, "I just have trouble getting over how beautiful you are."

She scoffed at that as her eyes turned downwards, "I'm not beautiful."

"Do you know what makes you more beautiful than anyone in the world," I asked, tilting her head back up and forcing her to look me in the eyes. She rolled her eyes at the question and shrugged as I answered, "Because you don't even know how beautiful you are.

"I'm standing here, staring at you, trying to figure out how you could possibly be real and what did I do to deserve you and you don't even know. You have no idea how special you are. Not really. You know you can sing, but in your head, you think that's all you are. You think that without it, you would be nothing, but you're so much more than just your voice, Rachel. You're so smart, sometimes scary-smart, the way you can make plans in your head, and you're an amazing writer and I'm not talking about your songs, although they are really good. I've read that blog you write."

"You did," Rachel asked, startled, her eyes darting from side to side as if she was embarrassed, "That's kind of personal."

"You wrote it on the internet for the world to see," I laughed.

"Yeah," she shrugged, "But I figured it would be like my Youtube channel, where it's mostly just ignored except for hateful comments."

"Well, in the beginning we did go on it to just find new ways to torture you," I admitted, my fingers stroking her bare shoulders as she slumped forward, miserably, "But when I started actually reading it, the way you describe things, I always felt like I was right there with you, everyday."

"How long have you liked me for," she said suddenly and the question completely threw me off guard.

I stared down at her for a while, feeling my mouth fall open but not being able to do anything about it as I mulled over the question, "I don't really know. I guess longer than I thought."

She was on her feet so fast I almost fell backwards as her hands locked around my neck and pulled me down into a kiss. My hands scraped up and down her bare back, enjoying the feel of her soft, smooth skin beneath my fingertips as I dragged my tongue across her bottom lip, waiting for her to open herself to me. She did in an instant and her back arched as our kiss deepened, attempting to hold me against her closer than physically possible and I wanted it just as bad. I fisted the clasp of her bra, tugging the elastic material away from her skin, but not yet making an attempt to take it off as she moaned into my mouth and inhaled sharply through her nose.

I felt like I was losing my mind. I was so lost in the feel and the smell of her, all of her surrounding me and I needed more. I broke the kiss and my teeth immediately found her neck, sinking down into her flesh rougher and hungrier than I usually did, inciting a cry from her lips that was a mixture of pain and pleasure. Her fingers found the bottom of my t-shirt and she pulled away from me just enough to yank the shirt over my head and toss it aside.

Her eyes fell to my breasts and her hands followed after, roughly grabbing them through my bra as I kissed her again. Her hands tried to pull my bra down, but I stopped her, pressing my hands to the tops of her shoulders and guiding her back down to sit on the bed.

"We have all night," I explained, spotting her iPod docking station on her desk, "I want this to be all that you've wanted."

I pulled the iPod from my pocket and she stayed quiet, watching me as I moved to her desk and sat it down in the station. I scrolled down to the playlist I had created after she had spoken of how she wanted her first time, just in case I found myself in this situation, and pressed play. Soft piano music began to fill the air as I turned back around to face her. She smiled, chewing on her lip as she closed her eyes and listened to the music.

"I wasn't sure what kind of music you wanted, so I picked some softer instrumentals. Mostly piano, violin, some saxophone, I think," I said, thoughtfully, trying to recall all the songs that I had put in the list.

"You're amazing," she sighed, watching me as I walked back towards her and kneeled at her feet, "I couldn't ask for anything more."

My eyes fell to her chest and for the first time, I noticed the black marker still on her breast, from where I had signed my name earlier that day. It was faded, but still quite legible and I gently traced the signature with my fingers.

"I washed around it," Rachel admitted, blushing slightly when I laughed, "I don't want it to ever go away."

I kissed the mark lightly, "I guess I'm going to have to learn my way around a tattoo gun so I can put it there permanently."

"Maybe I wouldn't mind that," she whispered, her hands combing through my blond locks.

"Really," I asked playfully, my attention turning to the strappy sandals still on her feet. I picked up her right foot, slowly unbuckling the strap and slipping it off her foot. She wiggled her toes, likely an unconscious move, and I took a moment to massage her small foot. I started with her heel, kneading my thumbs into the thick flesh before smoothing out her arch. She moaned as I pressed my thumbs into the skin there, her hands leaving my hair to lean back on them and support herself. I continued to the pad of her foot, taking the time to massage the flesh there before moving to each toe and rubbing them individually. Her eyes closed and her head fell back as my fingers moved higher, to massage the delicate bones in her ankle and then even higher to the firm muscle in her calf. I placed an open mouthed kiss to the inside of her knee when I was done with her tanned calf, and lowered her barefoot back down to the carpet before doing the same to her left foot.

She was biting her lip, her eyes squeezed shut tightly, by the time I had finished the massage, and the emotion on her face was a mixture of arousal and nerves. I could feel her legs quiver as I ran my hands up the outside of her thighs, not yet dipping my hands under her skirt. I wanted this to last forever and I was planning on drawing it out all night. It was going to be slow and perfect and everything Rachel could have ever possibly wanted in a first time. Everything I could've ever wanted in a first time.

"Don't be scared," I whispered in her ear, my hands moving up and down her bare sides to soothe her as I leaned into her body, doing my best to not scratch her skin with my rough cast. I could feel the tension in her muscles, beneath my touch, and more than anything I wanted her to be relaxed with me.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, but her body still didn't relax so I moved my lips to her neck, kissing her there to distract her, while keeping my hands busy at her sides. She let out a shaky breath and said, "I just can't stop shaking."

I pressed my hand to her chest, pushing her back until she was lying down on the bed, keeping my lips on her neck as I laid my body down against hers while putting a good amount of weight on my thick cast. I felt her thighs lock against my hips as she lifted her feet from the floor, digging her heels into the edge of her bed, and I began to slowly rock my hips against hers. Between the biting I was doing on her neck, the fingers tickling her side and my hips grinding against her centre, it didn't take long for her soft whimpers to brush my ear as her nails dug into my back.

My own arousal was beginning to turn unbearable after a few minutes of grinding and my hands drifted lower down her sides until they reached the waistband of her skirt. I tried to wait longer, tease her sensitive skin with feather-light strokes, but with a grunt that I had never meant to utter, I pushed myself off her. I slowly unzipped the zipper on the side of her skirt and her hips lifted off the bed as I pulled it down her legs and let it drop to the ground. She looked up at me nervously and I could tell she was fighting to cover herself, even though she was still wearing her matching pink and black starred bra and panties.

"You have nothing to be nervous about," I soothed, running my hands up and down her stomach, "Like I said, you're beautiful."

She licked her lips as she grabbed on to the waistband of my jeans, using it to pull herself into a sitting position. She looked up at me as her fingers unbuckled my belt and then popped open the button on my jeans. It was probably the hottest look I had ever seen. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth as her dark eyes watched me. It was innocent and sexy all wrapped together and I couldn't help but tangle my hands in her hair as she slowly dragged down the zipper on my fly. Her eyes finally drifted down my body as she pushed my jeans down my hips, all the way down my legs and I toed off my shoes and socks as I stepped out of them. Her hands trailed back up my bare legs, to my hips and over my abs and then back down, alternating between using her whole hand and just the tips of her fingers.

I let her explore because she seemed content in doing it, learning my body, and it was sending shivers all through me. I could feel my heartbeat increasing each time her fingers drifted over the hem of my panties, or crept a little higher on the insides of my thighs, but she skipped over the parts I wanted her most and I was almost certain it was because she was afraid to touch me there. She wanted me to touch her first and show her how it was done.

"You're wet," she whispered after a while, her eyes focused on the front of my panties.

I looked down at my green panties that had a growing darker patch as I got more aroused, and I leaned down to her, biting her earlobe for a quick second before whispering back, "I've been wet since we started dating."

I heard her soft giggle as she buried her face into my shoulder for a moment before admitting, "Me too."

I pinched the clasp on her bra and it fell to her lap as I planted kisses down her neck to her shoulder, stopping every once in awhile to gently nip at the flesh with my teeth. She gasped as the material fell away and I pushed it aside as I gripped her underneath her arms, ignoring my broken arm, and lifted her to the top of the bed, so that she was lying back against the pillows.

She reached up, near the top of the bed, and pulled back the covers, lifting her hips until they were pushed all the way to the bottom, and then she laid back against the pillows. I sat on my knees, between her legs, my eyes finally able to take in the skin that I had, so far, been forbidden to see and I let out a soft moan at the sight. Her skin looked so smooth and glowed in the moonlight, and her dark nipples were already hard from our foreplay.

I dragged my fingers lightly down her chest, starting at her collarbones to the hem of her panties, drifting around to the edges of her breasts as she shivered and whined quietly as I teased her. I leaned towards her, about to follow the same path with my lips when I noticed two pairs of eyes staring back at me.

"Do you want them to join in or...," I asked, smirking as I lifted two stuffed monkeys off her bed and waved them at her.

"No," she laughed, her smile wide as she watched me rock them in my arms.

"How about they just watch then," I said, carrying them to her bookshelf and sitting them up against the books beside a purple elephant and teddy bear with a bow tie.

"You're going to corrupt their innocence," she teased and I glanced back at her as she watched me, resting back on her elbows.

"Should I turn them around," I asked, trying to keep as much seriousness in my face as I could muster, but her giggles broke me and I couldn't contain my smile.

"Would you just get back here," she demanded, her voice low and husky and within seconds I was back, kneeling on her bed and kissing her lips. I kissed down her chin and neck, pausing to nip at her collarbone before continuing down to her breasts. My good hand covered one breast while my tongue traced a circle around the nipple of her other, before I sealed my lips around it and sucked. Her back arched off the bed as a cry passed her lips and the sound went straight to my core, increasing my arousal, and I bit down on the sensitive peak while my fingers pinched the other. Her hips thrust up against my stomach as the sensations overwhelmed her and I moaned against her skin as I felt how wet she was through her panties.

I raised myself off her enough to hook my fingers into her panties and slowly pulled them down her hips as she brought both her knees to her chest so I could remove them from her completely. I sat back on my heels, once her panties were lying somewhere in the bed beside me, and she stretched out her legs, her thighs resting on top of mine, as I looked down at her bare sex.

"You're-," I started, my fingers trailing over the smooth skin of her mound, but realized that any way I could finish that sentence would sound entirely inappropriate for the moment.

She was blushing when I looked back up at her, deep and red, and a hand went down to cover herself from my view, signifying she knew what I was going to say. She bit her lip and whispered, "After getting the nickname 'Treasure Trail' I may have gotten a little paranoid."

"Sorry," I said and meant it, but I pushed her hand away as I added, with a small blush of my own, "I like it, though."

I spread her lips and it was probably the first time I had really taken the time to look at a girl that way. I trailed my finger around her clit, purposely avoiding it, and then circled her entrance, hearing Rachel's sharp intake of breath and biting down on her lip to stifle any noise. It was dark, but I could still see it, the sliver of white skin amongst the pink and a sense of panic began to wash over me knowing what I was about to do. I was literally going to break her.

I had been with so many guys and some of them were virgins, but being with a girl who was a virgin, who had never touched herself before, that was something else entirely.

Would there be blood? I couldn't remember bleeding my first time, but my first time happened so fast it was all a blur now. I knew some girls bled.

Would that freak me out? I wasn't sure.

No.

No, because it was with Rachel and honestly nothing about her could scare me. I didn't want to hurt her, though. She was trusting me with so much and I was still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that it was me in Rachel's bed. She wanted me to be her first time, not Finn or Puck or Jesse St. James. She picked me. I didn't even feel worthy of it.

"What's wrong," she asked in a small voice, and I realized that I had been staring down at her most intimate parts, spread open by my fingers, for far too long. Her face was filled with worry, her brow furrowed and looking like she was on the verge of tears, "Is there something wrong with me? Take off your panties."

My head was swimming with so many thoughts and insecurities that it took me a moment to understand what she wanted. She wanted to see me, to see how we were different, and I shook my head, pushing away all the thoughts that were ruining my moment with my girlfriend.

"No, Rach," I soothed, reaching up and rustling her bangs, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're perfect."

She didn't quite look convinced and instead, she sat up, kissing me ferociously while her hands wrapped around to my back and fumbled with the clasp of my bra. After a few tries she finally succeeded in unhooking it and I shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor with my other discarded clothing. Her lips never left mine, biting and sucking, as her hands trailed down from my shoulders to cup my breasts and I moaned into our kiss, which only seemed to fuel her further. She dragged her thumbnails over my hardened nipples and the sensation was too much for me to handle, as I broke away from her breathlessly and pushed her back down onto the bed. My body followed with hers, locking in another heated kiss as she somehow used the insides of her feet to roll my panties down my hips, all the while whimpering frustratedly into our kiss at the effort it was taking. Once they had reached my thighs I pushed them down further and kicked them off, into the bed, before retaking my position on top of her.

My confidence had returned, no longer plagued with the thoughts of being unworthy of her, because I couldn't possibly imagine loving someone more. Every little sound she was making and every place her hand touched was setting me on fire and in such a way that I had never felt before. We'd barely started and I already knew that this was going to be the best sexual experience of my life. It may have had its awkward points, but all first times did, right?

It didn't matter, because right then, while resting my weight on my cast underneath her and shifting my body to allow a small amount of space between us, my right hand was slipping down between our bodies. With her hands fisting my hair and her teeth tugging on my bottom lip, my hand reached her centre and I delicately traced her wet slit, partially to tease her and the other part to give her one last chance to turn back before I made her mine.

Her hips bucked up against my hand and her teeth released my lip as she let out a high keening noise. I bit my lip as I watched her face, softly smiling as I watched all that control that Rachel loved having so dearly, melting away without a care for it. As my fingers slipped between her folds and circled her entrance again, gathering the wetness there before finding her clit, the fingers in my hair tightened and her eyes closed, her body convulsing at the first touch of my fingers to her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Don't close your eyes," I whispered to her, as my fingers massaged her with tight circles.

I watched as she forced her eyes open, unfocused at first, and black with arousal, and everything about that moment was perfect. Her breath was coming in sharp gasps and every few strokes she would let a short moan slip, and I knew she was getting close. With a final stroke, my fingers left her clit, causing Rachel to whimper in disapproval, but then my fingers were at her entrance and her body tensed in reaction.

I stretched my thumb up to her clit, continuing the circles until she was relaxing again, and brushed my nose against hers, giving her one final chance to tell me she wasn't ready. Her eyes were determined, though, and lacking any real bit of doubt, so I gently rubbed my fingers at her opening for a moment before sliding two fingers into her in one swift motion and breaking through her barrier.

Her eyes went wide and her fingers left my hair to dig into my shoulders, painfully, as a cry that she couldn't keep in, filled the room. She squeezed her eyes shut as I kept my fingers still, continuing my strokes on her clit, and lowering my lips to her neck to kiss away some of the pain.

"You alright," I mumbled against her neck, giving it a final lick before raising my head so that I could look at her again. Her face was still slightly contorted in a pained expression, but her grip on my shoulders lessened and, after awhile she opened her eyes again.

"Yes," she breathed, low and entirely filled with lust, "You can-I'm alright now."

I ran my tongue along her lips as I gently pulled my fingers out before thrusting them back inside her and her thighs clenched around me. She was unbelievably tight around my fingers and every time I pushed back inside her, I felt her walls somehow clench even further around me. After a few more careful thrusts, she was back to her soft whimpers, only this time my name would fall from her lips every so often, and then as her nails dragged down my back she moaned, "Harder."

I thought I might come, just from hearing her say it, but the sounds she began to make when I complied and began to thrust into her with more strength kept me on the edge, watching her and never wanting it to end. She was trying her best to keep her eyes open and locked on mine, but I could tell it was getting harder as my pace picked up because her lids began to droop and her blinks lasted longer. Her mouth hung open and her head pressed back into the pillow, as her hands roamed all over my body, gripping my neck, my shoulders, my arms until they finally found their place on my back, scratching into my skin and kneading with her palms.

I could feel my own arousal dripping down the insides of my thighs as I rocked my hips against her with each thrust, wanting some kind of friction to get myself off, but also knowing that right now it was all about Rachel. I kissed her chin as she threw her head even further back, pressing my thumb harder to her clit as she moaned my name for the millionth time and I loved every second of it.

"I love you," I whispered into her ear, licking the shell before continuing a hot path of kisses down her neck.

She tried to respond, started the short sentence several times, before she finally gave up and lowered her head back down to kiss me. Our lips met for only a second before her mouth was falling open again and her soft grunts were in my ear.

"I think-," she whispered against my ear, her heels pressing into my butt as her hips began to buck up against my hand inside her, "I think..."

The whimpers, the cries and the moans were all escalating, drowning out the music playing from my iPod and I knew she was close. I curled my fingers inside her with each thrust, making sure to find that spot inside her as my thumb managed to keep her clit stimulated and with a sudden high pitched squeak, I felt her entire body tense. She held on to me tightly, thighs squeezing around me, hands gripping at whatever skin she could find, and her face burying in my neck as I felt her walls begin to spasm around my fingers. I slowed my pace to ride out her orgasm and didn't still until her legs finally dropped back to the bed, followed by her head on the pillow, then her arms, looking entirely spent.

She swallowed, her breathing slowing as she stared back at me through half lidded eyes, and a lazy smile began to play across her lips.

"That felt," she breathed, licking her lips before continuing, "just as good as singing at the Gershwin."

I raised an eyebrow at her comment, feeling a small pang of disappointment that I wasn't better, but she let out a short laugh and said, "It might've been better, but I feel like I would betraying my Broadway dreams if I say that I enjoy intercourse more than it out loud."

"It'll be our secret," I smiled back at her, slowly withdrawing my fingers from inside her and feeling her shiver against me from the feeling. I brought my fingers up to my lips, sucking each digit clean as Rachel watched curiously with eyes still dark, finally getting my first taste of her and enjoying every bit. I had wanted to go down on her so badly, but by the way she held on to my body throughout, I knew that for her first time she wanted a body on top of her, surrounding her, being all over her and everywhere at once. There would be other times.

I soon realized that the pain in my broken arm, which I was still leaning on, was increasingly becoming unbearable and with great reluctance, I gave her a final kiss on her lips before rolling over her and onto my back.

My arousal was also refusing to decrease, no matter how many times I told myself it had been all about Rachel, and I found myself squeezing my thighs together in an attempt to relieve some of the tension. Less than a second later, Rachel was straddling me, sitting on my hips with her hands pressed to my ribs.

"I don't really know what I'm doing," she admitted as her thumbs began to stroke the undersides of my breasts, "so if I'm doing it wrong, please feel free to instruct me on the correct procedures."

"You don't have to," I said, surprised that she was willing to return the favour, but impossibly turned on by seeing her straddling me naked, hair wild and still looking like she had thoroughly been... well... fucked.

"I want to," she almost purred, her hands dropping from my ribs to the bed to support herself as she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to one of my nipples. My hips bucked up against her at just the slightest touch, because I was really _that_ turned on, and I knew that it really wasn't going to take much to send me over the edge.

She smiled at my response, her eyes turning up to watch me as her tongue slid out and flicked the bud. I groaned, my hands gripping into her thighs as the sensation sent little shocks throughout my body.

"I'm too close for you to tease," I whined, the neediness in my voice even surprising myself. Rachel's smile grew for a moment before she suppressed it by pressing her lips together and nodding her understanding.

When she finally took my hard peak into her hot mouth while using her hand to pinch the other, I thought I was going to lose it. Between the feeling and the actual sight of her doing it, I suddenly understood the problem boys had with stamina. When I suddenly felt her tongue flicking it inside her mouth while she sucked I had to push her away with a desperate, "I need you now."

I watched her nervousness begin to return as she chewed on her lower lip and shifted above me, pushing my legs open with her knee and moving in between them. She sat back on her knees, her hands resting on the insides of my thighs as she stared down at me as if she was contemplating something. I watched, wondering what she was thinking about and was about to ask her, when she suddenly gave herself a nod and slid down so that she was laying on her stomach with her head between my legs. I would have to remember to pick my jaw up off the floor in the morning, because of all the things I was expecting, that was not one of them.

"Rach," I swallowed, not really wanting to stop her, but it seemed like a big step for her first time. The only response I got was a shushing noise and the fingers spreading my folds eliminated any thoughts I had.

All I could do was watch as her eyes closed and I felt the slightest touch of her tongue on my clit, forcing me to fist the sheets so that I didn't grab at her head and pull her against me. Her tongue returned a second later with more pressure, becoming bolder after her first taste, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't watch her anymore as my head fell back against the pillow. Her tongue circled my entrance, before dipping in with her nose bumping my clit, then dragged back up to suck on the bundle of nerves. My hand flew to her head, tangling in the masses of brown hair, having enough restraint to not actually put pressure on her, but lightly fisting the tangled locks.

I was so close. I could feel it building inside me and I knew that it was going to be intense, but I was not quite there. I was trying not to be loud, not entirely trusting the sound proofed room, but with Rachel Berry's lips wrapped around my clit, it was proving to be impossible, along with the ability to control my cursing.

Suddenly, Rachel's mouth disappeared completely from me and my eyes shot open, head snapping up to protest, even beg for her to continue. She was watching me and slowly she sucked her index finger into her mouth and then her middle finger, swirling her tongue around each one and capturing me in a trance. Then she lowered her fingers until they disappeared from my view between my legs and I felt them press against my entrance. My head fell back against the pillow again when her tongue returned to my clit and she thrust her fingers inside me, causing my hips to thrust back against her.

I was a complete wreck as her fingers kept up their pace inside me and her marvellous tongue worked my clit. The moans and whimpers were uncontainable and I couldn't have been quieter if I wanted to. I was so close, so so close. The tremors were beginning to build in all of my nerve endings but I needed her to hit that spot and she wasn't quite getting it.

"Curl your fingers," I groaned, as my hips bucked up against her again, involuntarily.

"Like-," she started, but she didn't get to finish because as soon as her fingers curled and hit the spot, my back was arching off the bed and I was falling over the edge. Her lips returned to my clit as the most intense orgasm coursed through my body, sending wave after wave of pleasure to every part of me and making me shake all over.

Once the feeling had subsided, I collapsed back onto the bed with no ounce of energy left in me. I felt Rachel's fingers slide out of me and then she was lying with her chin pressed to my chest and the biggest Rachel Berry grin she could possibly muster.

"Just another thing I am absolutely exceptional at," she said, matter-of-factly, licking her fingers as if they were covered in chocolate instead of me.

"Better add it to your college application," I joked, feeling my eyes begin to close and fighting off the overwhelming need to sleep.

"I'm not sure that's something colleges would be too interested in," she sighed, wiping her wet fingers on the sheets.

"I thought colleges were all about your extracurricular activities," I yawned and wrapped my arms around her.

"Will you write a letter of recommendation for me," she asked, pulling the blankets up from the bottom of the bed and sliding onto the space beside me. She reached back and pulled my arm around her, tucking it against her stomach so that I was pressed against her back.

"After that," I whispered in her ear, "I'll buy you the college."

"You can't buy the college," she scoffed, then after a short pause she twisted in my arms with excitement, "Could you buy the college?"

I chuckled lightly, holding her closer as I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, "Probably not. But it would be a waste anyway. You're going to get in because of your talent."

She was quiet for awhile and I closed my eyes, snuggling further into the pillow and enjoying every minute of lying naked with Rachel. _Naked_ Rachel.

While I was already replaying everything that had just happened in my mind and beginning to doze I heard Rachel ask in the softest of voices, "Do you still love me?"

I opened one eye, but all I could see was a mass of dark hair, "Of course I still love you, why wouldn't I?"

She shrugged, but didn't say anything and I leaned up on my elbow, rolling her back so that I could see her face.

"Hey," I said with concern, as her eyes turned to stare out her bedroom window, "What's wrong? Did I do something?"

"No," she answered softly, her eyes returning to meet mine and I could see she was trying to hold back tears.

"Then what," I asked, wiping the tears as they began to fall, urgently needing to know the cause of them.

"I'm scared," she said, with a short embarrassed chuckle as her eyes flashed back to the window.

"Of what," I whispered, my fingers stroking her wet cheek as I tried to get the information out of her.

She rolled her eyes and looked back at me, holding her breath as she tried to keep it under control but finally lost it with a hiccup and it was the first time I had ever seen her cry like that. Everyone had seen her cry, while she performed or when she got bullied particularly harshly, Rachel was a crier, but this was entirely different and I didn't know what to do. Her whole body was shaking and all I could do was hold her tighter against me.

"Rach," I said, kissing the side of her head as she clung on to me, "Tell me what you're scared of."

"You're going to think it's silly," she hiccuped again, trying to take in a breath.

"I'm not going to think anything that is affecting you this much is silly," I said, truthfully. Whatever was making her this upset was obviously nothing to shrug off.

"I-," she started, sighing and then sniffling, "I love you too much and I don't think you love me as much as I love you. Perhaps it is because I spend my time buying into musicals about love that lasts forever and believing that when you find that person you will live happily ever after, but I keep thinking that I've found that person and then it never works out and they end up being very mean to me. I really love you, I mean more than I've ever loved anyone and I'm scared that you're- you're going to be the same. You've had so many partners and-and do I really mean enough to you for you to only be with me. Now that we've- are you going to lose interest now? Should I have waited longer, it just felt so right, but-"

I broke her rant by gently kissing her lips and when I pulled back I smiled down at her, "I love you just as much. The forever kind."

"Are you sure," she asked, but most of her crying had ceased except for the occasional tear that would slip out.

"I'm sure," I nodded, laying my head on the pillow next to her and pressing my nose to her cheek, "You're the only one I want, Rachel."

* * *

><p>We had to have fallen asleep soon after the conversation, because the next time I opened my eyes, Rachel's alarm clock read five AM and her body was tangled with mine with her lips pressed against my shoulder. The moon had moved past the window and the room was much darker than before and I could only just make out Rachel's face, inches from mine.<p>

I knew I had to go, before her dads woke up and discovered my car in the driveway, and there was no way I was going to let Rachel wake up to find me gone, so I nudged her gently until she made a soft, "Hmmm."

"I have to go before your dads wake up," I whispered, watching her face, but when her eyes didn't open and she responded with the same noise, I knew she would not remember this. I shook her harder until she groaned and then repeated myself.

Her eyes opened slowly and there was a pout on her lips as her arms tightened their hold on me, "I don't want you to go."

"How do you feel about me getting murdered by your dads for taking their daughter's innocence," I asked and her pout turned into a sigh and her arms loosened around me.

"I don't like that more," she agreed as I slipped from the bed, trying to locate my clothes.

It took me a while of searching the floor to remember that my panties had never actually made it off the bed and I pushed my arms under the blankets, blindly trying to feel for them.

"What are you doing," Rachel whispered as my hand bumped her knee.

"I'm trying to find my panties," I whispered back, continuing my search.

She began to stretch her legs out, using them to feel around in the bed, then finally she reached under the covers and pulled out a pair of panties, tossing them at me as she snuggled back into her pillow.

I quickly stepped into the panties, noticing they didn't quite feel right, but not realizing there were stars on them until I was fastening the button on my jeans. I looked over at Rachel, deciding whether I should find my own, but seeing that she was once again fast asleep, I decided to just get home as quickly as possible.

Within a minute I was dressed and tip-toeing out of her room, racking my brain trying to remember the layout of the house as I made my way in the darkness. I found the stairs, carefully feeling out each step as I safely made it down and turned towards the front door, almost ready to celebrate my success. _Almost_.

The kitchen light switched on behind me, making me freeze mid step as fear washed over my entire body and I wondered if I could just run. If I just ran out of the house and into my car and sped away, would they be able to catch me?

But my body wouldn't move. It was completely frozen on the spot and I cringed as I heard Rachel's dad say, "Brittany?"


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** The end of the school term has been keeping me very busy, but here is the next chapter (finally). Finals are next week, so I probably won't be able to post the next chapter for awhile.

Thanks for all the reviews! Keep em coming :)

* * *

><p>I had been caught having sex enough times to know that it was never a good thing. One particular instance with an angry mother wielding a broom and screaming, "Come back here you dirty skank" has been branded in my mind for likely the rest of my life. I had found her quite comical, but still, parents tend to frown upon teen sex and I was in love with Rachel.<p>

I don't know exactly what I was expecting, something along the lines of being chased by both of Rachel's fathers swinging matching bedazzled chainsaws, but I definitely wasn't even remotely prepared for what happened.

* * *

><p>I still hadn't moved from my frozen position facing the front door, staring at it as I knew it was my ticket to freedom, and distraught by the fact that I couldn't just run and leave this mess behind me. My feet felt like they were trapped in concrete blocks and my heart was pounding so hard I could hear each thunderous beat in my ears.<p>

The entire night had been so magical and surreal bundled together to make it the best of my life and I figured that it was only fair that the next day be equally as horrible to balance it out. That was how the world worked, right?

"Brittany," the voice boomed again and I finally turned, reluctantly, to face my punishment. Leroy was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a large dark blue robe tied tightly around his body and his arms folded across his chest. He watched me for a moment, as if waiting for me to explain, but my jaw was wired shut and even if I wanted to speak, I couldn't think of a thing to say.

So after an uncomfortable moment of silence he sighed, dropping his hands to his sides and turned towards the closet by the front door, opening it as he began to speak again, "My daughter takes after me in many ways and her early riser mentality is one of those things she picked up from me. I like to be up early, five o'clock on the dot, everyday. I like to get the paper and sit at the table, browsing the headlines while I wait until five-thirty, when Rachel has finished her morning exercises, and comes skipping down the stairs to sit across from me and tell me the newest tales in her life. It's a ritual we have and one of my favourites. I love being able to have that time alone with my daughter. Lately, it's been few and far between."

He paused, glancing over his shoulder at me while he pulled a pillow and a blanket off one of the shelves. His face was emotionless and his eyes simply looked tired as he tucked the bedding under his arm and closed the closet door. His hand motioned for me to follow as he lead me back into the kitchen, pointing to a chair at the table and silently commanding me to sit as he walked past the table towards the couch across from the television.

I sat down in the chair, not knowing what else to do, and watched as he laid the blanket down on the couch, ruffling it slightly, and dropped the pillow against the armrest. He pressed his large hand into the centre of the pillow, creating a head sized indent when he pulled his hand away, and then came back to the table, taking the seat across from me.

"I don't mind losing out on my mornings with Rachel as much as I would've thought," he continued, folding his hands on the table as he spoke softly, "She's growing up and I knew that it wouldn't last forever. She'll be graduating this year and as long as she gets her wish, she'll be flying out to New York to begin the rest of her life. I would never stop her or want to stop her, so gradually losing our morning talks is like slowly preparing me for the day that Rachel leaves."

I nodded as I listened, hanging on to every word and wondering when he would pull the chainsaw from beneath his robe and begin swinging at me. He wasn't going to catch me off guard.

"She's happy," he said and there was a soft smile on his lips as he stared up at the kitchen lights, a look that I knew Rachel got from him, "She hasn't been happy for a long time. She's been driven, always looking to the future and telling herself that the present didn't matter because once she got to New York it would all make up for it, but she's never really been happy. Then something happened with you."

His eyes dropped from the lights and were back on me again, but his gaze was so warm I began to relax slightly.

"You're all she talks about now and I have to say, it is wonderful seeing her happy for a change," he said, leaning back in his chair, "I'm relieved that she's found someone who treats her better than anyone else ever has and I really like you, Brittany. I have always put a great amount of faith into my daughter to make the right choices and although she falters at times, like any teenage girl, she makes the right decisions when it counts, and that's why I'm not surprised to catch you sneaking out of my house at five-thirty in the morning."

"Mr. Berry-," I started, finding my voice suddenly and knowing that I had to say something to attempt to explain my actions, but he cut me off before I could finish.

"It's always been Leroy," he said, holding up a hand to stop me, "And I understand. You're two hormonal teenagers in love, I was there once, perhaps a long time ago. I'm not angry, maybe a little disappointed that Rachel is growing up so fast, but I've always believed that she would know when she was ready to have sex better than I do."

I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat, partly due to the topic that I did not really want to discuss with him and the rest because of the panties that were a size too small and currently bunching up in all the wrong places.

"At least I don't have to ask if you used protection," he chuckled and I nervously tried to laugh along. His soft laugh died down and for awhile he just stared back at me with a calm smile before shaking his head and pointing towards the pillow and blanket on the couch, "My wonderful partner has never had the same open view as I do, so this is going to be our secret. When he finds you here we're going to tell him that you were too tired to drive yourself home so you decided to use our couch as your bed for the night, understood?"

"Yes," I nodded hastily, completely awestruck that there had been no chainsaws involved.

"Answer a question for me, Brittany," he said seriously, leaning forward with his arms folded on the table, "What do you plan to do next year when Rachel goes to New York?"

I swallowed thickly as my eyes turned down towards my hands. It wasn't that I hadn't thought about Rachel leaving, but I really hadn't decided on what would happen when she did. I was still worried about graduating from high school, it felt too early to be thinking about what would happen after that.

"I know you two haven't been together very long," Leroy said, sensing my hesitation, "But if Rachel is comfortable enough to progress your relationship in the way that you did last night, then obviously this isn't just some fling."

"No," I agreed, my eyes still on my hands, "It's definitely not just some fling. I think I would follow Rachel anywhere if she would let me. She's the only person I've ever felt like I could be myself with. I don't have to worry about pretending with her."

Leroy nodded along as he listened and then replied, "But what would you like to do? Rachel has Broadway, what are your dreams?"

I tapped my cast softly against the table, trying not to sigh as I realized my answer was not one that most parents would feel very good about, especially those whose daughter's I was dating. Parents wanted to hear doctor or lawyer or something equally as stable, but I never wanted any of those.

"I really like motocross," I said softly, keeping my eyes down so that I wouldn't have to witness the disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm not here to judge you, Brittany," Leroy replied and I finally let my eyes raise from my hands, "Most people would say that Broadway isn't an acceptable career choice, but Hiram and I have backed Rachel up ever since she told us that's what she wanted. You have to follow your heart and not let anyone else dictate what you should do. Only you know what you want and what you need."

It seemed that Rachel also got that ability to reduce me to a crying mess from Leroy as well, since I began to feel the familiar sting in my eyes. Leroy was like the model for the perfect father. He was what I had been craving for my entire life. I didn't hate my own father or anything like that. It was the complete opposite in fact. My father was wonderful, very kind and loving and accepting and, like Leroy, he always told me that I just needed to follow my heart. He didn't care who I loved or what I wanted to do with my life, as long as I was happy. The only problem was, I never saw my father. He was always flying around from city to city for some kind of a business meeting or deal or something else that kept him away from home. Even when he was in Lima, he was never at the house. He was always working late at the office, going to dinner parties or something else that had to do with work.

My relationship with my mother was a little more rocky. Sometimes I wondered if all the crazy she dealt with everyday had rubbed off on her because one day she would be kind and caring and the next she would be berating every little thing about me. I saw her a bit more often than my father, although she spent most of her time away from home as well. Every couple of days I would catch a glimpse of her for a few minutes before she ran off to work, or some days she would appear at random with a few snarky remarks and then disappear as quickly as she came.

Both my parents had the same mentality about home life and I grew up with a thought lurking inside of me that they would rather be at work than with me.

Leroy took an interest though and I immediately wanted to cling to him for it. Rachel may not have grown up with a pool in her backyard and a private movie theatre in her basement (which I was still trying to think of the perfect way to break that news to my girlfriend), but the doting parents she did have trumped my material luxuries. I would have easily given it all up for a father like Leroy.

"One more thing," Leroy said, his voice becoming stern as he interrupted my thoughts. My eyes had fallen to my hands while I fought back the tears and I now raised them back to Leroy to let him know he had my complete attention. He drummed his large fingers against the table once before saying, "You are welcome to stay in our house at anytime, Brittany. Rachel has told me that your parents spend a lot of time working and if you ever want to get away from the empty house we're glad to keep you company. However, from now on, while Hiram and I are in the house, you may sleep in either the spare bedroom or the couch, but Rachel's bed is not an option. Understand?"

"Yes," I said, nodding so hard I thought my head might fall off, "Thanks."

Aside from Rachel, Leroy Berry was now my favourite person in the world.

"Good. Now that we've had our little heart-to-heart," he smiled, tapping his palms against the table before pushing his chair back and walking around to where I was seated, "I'm going to hug you now."

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped as I rose to my feet and accepted the embrace, because he was Rachel. He was a foot and a half taller and black, but essentially Rachel took after him in so many ways that it was almost comical.

"What's going on," Hiram asked, walking into the kitchen wearing a matching red robe.

"Morning, dear," Leroy smiled, pulling away from me to press a kiss to his husband's temple, "Look who made use of our couch last night."

I watched nervously as Hiram glanced towards the couch and when he saw the wrinkled blanket and pillow, with the centre indent still present, he seemed satisfied and offered me a smile.

"Did our daughter tire you out last night, Brittany," he asked, shuffling his slippered feet towards the coffee maker and pouring himself a mug. I felt my face grow hot, remembering how she most certainly did tire me out, when I was in her bed, on my back, with her tongue on my-

"Sometimes our dear girl just can't find her off switch and can rattle on forever about anything under the sun," Hiram continued, blowing on his mug before taking a hesitant sip.

My eyes caught Leroy's as he settled back into the seat across from me and rustled his paper, winking before dropping his eyes to the pages.

"We went to the drive-in," I explained, running a hand through my tangled hair as I slumped back into my seat, "It was a double feature and by the time I was dropping her off, I realized I was beginning to fall asleep while driving. Rachel suggested I spend the night on the couch, to prevent any accidents."

"Good thinking," I heard him say from behind me, still standing by the coffee maker, "Rachel has always had a good head on her shoulders. Would you like some coffee, Brittany?"

"No, thank you," I replied, half of me still wanted to run from the house and away from this awkward moment, but the other half was actually enjoying just being around people in the morning.

"You must've tired Rachel out as well," Hiram noted, placing his mug down on the table as he chose the seat with his back towards the kitchen entrance, "She's usually up by now."

I decided not to add any comment to that. I was already worried that I suddenly might crack and start admitting to everything, and figured it was best if I kept my mouth shut until an actual question was raised towards me. I watched silently as Hiram stole the business section of the paper from Leroy, who did not bat an eye and I figured it was another one of those rituals that they went through every morning. A minute later and Leroy stole Hiram's coffee, sipping on it as he flipped through the sports section and it was Hiram's turn to take no notice in it. A couple minutes later and Hiram was on his feet, humming showtunes while he poured himself a second cup and returned to his seat.

I smiled as I watched them in their morning routine, trading pages without so much of a word, just knowing what the other wanted and when they wanted it and freely surrendering it to the other without a care for it. It was really beautiful. They were the kinds of parents you would see in a fifties sitcom that showcased the perfect family. Of course one was black and one was Jewish and they were both men, but their actions were so in tune with each other, it was inspiring to watch. That was what I wanted one day. To sit around the table in the morning with a coffee in one hand and a paper in the other and my wife softly humming beside me as she read the entertainment pages.

"Good Morn-" Rachel exclaimed, skipping into the kitchen before stopping short as she saw me, cutting her greeting short as her eyes went wide. My eyes went wide when I saw her too, for a completely different reason. Rachel was dressed in a pair of black, skin tight yoga pants and a black workout tank top that was hugging her curves like a second skin, with her hair tied back in a messy bun. The outfit looked glorious on her and I would've loved to stare at her if her hairstyle choice wasn't creating an unobstructed view of the dark purple hickeys and bite marks that were covering her neck and shoulders. My eyes shot to Leroy to see if he noticed, which he did, and his eyes were as wide as mine as he stared at her silently before looking sternly at me and quickly tilting his head towards Rachel. I immediately understood what he wanted without him even having to say a word and I swiftly rose from my chair before Hiram could pry his eyes away from his paper and greet his daughter. I ran towards Rachel as she continued to speak, "Brittany, what are you still- I mean what are you doing here so early?"

I grabbed her hand before she could continue to ruin the cover Leroy and I had concocted and yanked her from the kitchen as I mumbled, "I need to tell you something in your room."

"I will show you where my room is, then," Rachel said loudly, so that her parents could hear as I dragged her up the stairs and once we reached the top she whispered harshly, "What is going on? I thought you were leaving?"

I didn't respond until I had dragged her into her room and softly closed the door behind us.

"I was leaving," I whispered, then realized I didn't have to whisper anymore and calmed myself before continuing in a normal voice, "I was leaving, but Leroy was already awake when I tried to sneak out. You didn't tell me he got up at five every morning."

"I didn't know it was already five," she defended, her eyes wide and I could see how scared she was, "What did you tell him?"

"I didn't _tell_ him anything," I sighed, leaning back against the door, "He just knew."

"Oh my god," Rachel gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"It's okay," I soothed, stepping closer to her and running my hands up and down her bare arms, "We talked and he's not mad or anything. It was actually pretty nice. Hiram doesn't know, though. Leroy thought it would be best if we put together a decoy bed on the couch and tell him that I spent the night there because I was too tired to drive home."

Rachel stared back at me blankly, "He wasn't mad?"

"No," I confirmed, shaking my head, "He said that he trusted your decisions and that only you could decide when you were ready."

"Oh," she said simply, releasing the tension in her body as she let herself fall against me, resting her head against my chest as I held her.

"We're going to be okay," I smiled as the realization settled into me that, contrary to my previous experiences with getting caught, I was still permitted to date Rachel and love her and wasn't even banned from their house. More than that, I felt like I had Leroy in my corner, actually cheering on our relationship.

"If my Dad found out, he'd kill you," Rachel sighed, wrapping her arms around my waist, "You're lucky my Daddy is the one that caught you."

"I know," I said, kissing the top of her head before pulling away from her and taking her hand again as I pulled her towards her bathroom, "Now, don't you look at yourself in the mirror before you leave your room?"

"No, I usually change into my workout clothing, go through my elliptical exercises, then head down for breakfast. Why do you-," she responded as I led her into the bathroom and before she could finish her question I spun her around so that she was facing the mirror. She gasped at the sight of herself as she poked tenderly at a bruise and winced, "Holy hell! What did you do to me?"

I smiled as our eyes caught in the reflection of the mirror and wrapped my arms around her waist as I pressed my lips to her ear and whispered, "Nothing that you didn't want."

Her lips formed a knowing smile and her head fell back against me as my casted hand pulled the tight material of her workout top away from her body and my other hand snuck underneath, teasing the sensitive nerves in her stomach. She pressed her butt back against my hips and began to grind against me, easily working me into a heightened state of arousal, as her hand covered mine under her top and followed my movements. Her eyes stayed locked on mine through the mirror as she said, "Even still, what am I suppose to do about all these marks?"

I gave her shoulder a gentle kiss, careful not to make any new marks or irritate the bruises she already had, then reluctantly moved away from her. She let out a soft sigh of disappointment, but brightened when she realized I wasn't going too far, and I picked up her concealer off the counter, hopping up onto it and moving her until she was standing in front of me. I set to work at attempting to cover up the dark hickeys, patting them as gentle as possible with the pad so I didn't hurt her, and I could feel her eyes focused on me as I did.

"So how do you feel," I asked, keeping my eyes on the spot I was currently working at concealing.

She didn't answer right away and I knew she was thinking about it and trying to figure out the exact way to describe it. I gave her the time, waiting patiently as I worked, knowing she would answer when she was ready and there was no reason to rush her. A few minutes later and I felt her hand on my knee, tracing light circles as she said, "Everything. Happy, worried, excited, scared, and quite sore actually."

She spoke quickly and her cheeks reddened as she admitted the last point, shifting her weight from one foot to the other nervously.

"Sorry," I said, my eyes momentarily catching hers before returning to her neck, "To be honest, I don't remember much about my first time, other than the basics. I don't remember what it felt like, or how I felt the next day. I just remember this sort of empty feeling and I thought I had done it wrong. I thought it was suppose to make me feel mature and like I had suddenly become a woman, but instead I just felt alone."

"How do you feel today," she asked and there was an uneasiness in her voice that told me she was afraid of the answer and it made me want to smack her and ask her how many times I have to tell her that she means everything to me.

I looked back up at her with a smile, "Like I found that thing that I was looking for when I was sleeping with everyone else. Who knew Rachel Berry would be the one to steal my heart?"

"Certainly not me," she giggled, both of her hands now resting on the tops of my thighs, "If someone told me a couple months ago that I would be in a relationship with Brittany Pierce I would've laughed in their faces. But I also didn't know the real Brittany Pierce back then."

"Yeah," I said softly, dabbing a mark on her shoulder a couple more times before sitting back up straight, "Best I can do."

The marks were a lot less noticeable now, but not completely gone, so I pulled the tie from her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders at least providing a bit more cover.

"You should probably put on a shirt that covers your shoulders," I suggested, as she peered around me and checked out my work in the mirror.

"Yes, I think that would be best," she nodded, bringing a hand up to poke at one of the spots again before thinking better of it and letting her hand fall back down to her side.

My mind drifted as I stared at her light blue shower curtain decorated with duckies carrying umbrellas, because it was Sunday and even though last night was the best night of my life so far, the night was over and reality was back. I had been looking forward to this day for months, but now it was ruined.

"You're thinking about the competition, aren't you," Rachel said, startling me from my thoughts. As much as Rachel said she had difficulty reading me, she always seemed to prove herself wrong with her impeccable ability to pull the thoughts from my mind.

"Yeah," I admitted, not really wanting to talk about it since I had been so emotional about everything lately.

Her warm hand squeezed my knee as she said, "You can't-"

"I know," I interrupted, not wanting to hear the words again. I couldn't compete. I got it. My attempt yesterday proved that.

"You still want to go to the competition, though," she nodded, her eyes filled with understanding and it warmed my heart to know that Rachel comprehended how much motocross meant to me.

"I do," I nodded back.

"I thought you would say that," she said, excitedly, bouncing on her toes, "I have a surprise for you."

"You do," I said, but she was already rushing out of the bathroom and skipping towards her desk.

Within seconds she was back in the bathroom with a huge grin as she held out a CD case, pushing it into my hands, and I stared down at the disc inside, reading the words she had written on it with a black marker, "'Brittany Pierce' and my phone number?"

"I downloaded all the videos of you on your bike from the school website and burned them onto a DVD," she explained, her huge grin never faltering as she spoke, "So now you can find that scout, use some of that Pierce charm and give him the DVD to watch."

I was completely speechless. The idea had never occurred to me and it was so brilliant I didn't know what to say.

"When did you have time to do this," I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Yesterday, when you insisted that we spend the afternoon apart," she shrugged, as if it was nothing, "I remembered seeing the motocross page listed under the school teams when I was looking up football videos of Finn, a very long time ago. I decided to look it up yesterday and I found a bunch of videos featuring you. You're quite amazing, Brittany, it's much more exciting to watch you execute the stunts in person, but I believe the videos do you great justice. Any scout who watches them would not hesitate in signing you."

I stared at her blankly for a moment, still in shock, and then I yanked her towards me, wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her as tightly as I could with the disc clutched in my hand.

"I love you," I whispered, burying my face in her neck as I fought the urge to cry for the millionth time, already, that day.

"I love you too," she answered back, her hands around my neck squeezing me just as tight, "Now we just have to go to the competition and find this scout."

"_We_," I asked, pulling back just enough so that I could raise an eyebrow at her, "You want to come?"

"Of course," she replied, as if it should've been known already, "You're going to need your agent there to help seal the deal."

"My agent," I chuckled, because of course Rachel would find a role for herself.

"Well you need someone to make sure you keep your head on straight," she said so seriously that I couldn't tell if she was playing with me or not.

"What would I do without you," I mused, giving her nose a loving kiss.

"Hopefully, you will never have to find out," she said, closing her eyes to the tender kiss.

I brushed my nose against hers playfully, before nudging her aside so I could slide off the counter and head back into her bedroom, unbuckling my belt and popping the button on my jeans as I moved.

"What are you doing," Rachel asked, following behind me as I unzipped my fly and then threw back the covers on her bed.

"I thought we'd have a quickie," I shrugged, keeping my expression serious as I looked over the bed for my panties.

"Oh," Rachel said, then took a seat on the edge of the bed in front of me, "Okay."

"Okay," I repeated, with a laugh, not expecting her to agree to the idea, which had been a joke. I spotted my panties at the bottom of the bed and reached over to grab them, holding them in front of her as she watched with confusion.

Her eyes moved to the panties I was wearing, hers, and she raised an eyebrow, "Why are you wearing my panties?"

"Because these are the ones you tossed at me this morning," I replied, quickly pushing my jeans and the panties off me before stepping into my own.

"So," Rachel said, drawing the word out as her bottom lip protruded into an adorable pout, "We're not going to have a quickie?"


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** Sorry for the extremely long hiatus. This is really only half of my planned chapter, but since it's been taking me so long to write it, I figure I'd post it anyways to give you guys something. It's pretty fluffy lol.

As always, please Read and Review. Reviews keep me writing :)

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><p>After the talk I had with Leroy, quickies were out of the question, while her fathers were home anyway. Making out on Rachel's bed, however, seemed totally within the rules. So when she still hadn't retracted her bottom lip, several minutes after I broke the news about the quickie being a joke, I found myself falling onto the bed on top of her, kissing away the disappointment. Despite Rachel's dismay, I discovered her body really hadn't recovered from the previous night, as I settled between her legs and she winced from the fly of my jeans coming into contact with her centre.<p>

"You okay," I whispered, brushing my lips teasingly against hers as I shifted my weight onto my forearms and knees.

"Perhaps I was a little overeager when agreeing so hastily to your fraudulent proposal of intercourse," Rachel blushed, groaning lightly and tightening her grasp on my shirt from the sting, "It would appear that after participating in sexual activities for the first time, it takes longer than I expected for my body to convalesce even though my libido may be urging me forward."

I stared down at her blankly for an entire minute before shaking my head, "Just because I've only been faking stupidity, does not mean I can follow when you talk like you've swallowed a thesaurus."

"You're only saying that to poke fun at me," Rachel said, rolling her eyes, "You understood every word I said."

She was right, of course, but it was so easy to mock her and she knew I was only playing with her.

"So the just of it is, you're too sore for round two even though you want it," I chuckled, kissing my way along her jaw while tangling my good hand in her soft hair.

"Why do I get the feeling you're teasing me," she gasped as the fingers on my free hand found bare skin at her hip to tickle.

"Doesn't sound like something I'd do," I answered playfully, planting a final kiss to her lips before pushing myself off her bed and pulling her up with me, "Besides, we gotta be good and follow the rules."

"What rules," Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly as I disappeared into her closet with the excuse of finding her a sweater to hide her bruised and bitten shoulders with, but really more interested to see if it truly was all short skirts and argyle.

"Oh," I said nonchalantly as I flicked my finger through the hangers, stopping momentarily to enjoy the pink plaid school girl skirt, one of my favourites, "Leroy made me promise that I would stay out of your bed."

"That seems a little extreme," Rachel pouted, folding her arms across her chest as she leaned against the entrance to her closet.

"Does it," I said, giving her a pointed look over my shoulder before continuing to snoop through her clothes. There was a lot of argyle, some shirts with animals on them that I was certain she'd had since she was a kid but figured she still fit into since she was still kid-sized. Near the back I even found a Power Rangers t-shirt and behind that a Strawberry Shortcake one.

"Perhaps not," she admitted then stopped when she noticed me staring at her while holding up the Power Rangers and Strawberry Shortcake t-shirts, "What? Sometimes I like to work out in them."

I looked down at the shirts that I likely wouldn't be able to get over my breasts, then back at her, "You can't still fit into them."

"Of course I can," Rachel scoffed, quickly whipping her workout tank top over her head and grabbing for the Power Rangers shirt, dead set on proving me wrong. I hid my smile with my hand as I watched her struggle into the shirt and was even more amused when she had gotten it on. To say the shirt was tight would be a drastic understatement. I wasn't even convinced that she could breathe, nevermind workout in it. It also didn't even reach her naval, but despite its impractical use as an article of clothing, I had to admit, she looked pretty adorable. Or hot. Or maybe both.

"See," Rachel said triumphantly, her hands placed firmly on her hips, "Fits just fine."

"You're sucking in," I giggled, poking her stomach, causing her to double over and cover herself from my impending torture.

"Don't even think about it," Rachel warned, trying to turn away from me, but I was already passed thinking about it and instead I was tackling her to the floor of her closet and attacking her with vicious tickles.

She squirmed and laughed, squealing as she feebly attempted to bat my hands away from her and slide out from under me. She managed to turnover onto her stomach, using her hands and feet to try to grip the carpet and get away. It was a useless attempt. Even with my broken arm, I was still a lot stronger than her and my entire body was pinning her to the floor. I felt her try to push off the ground with her toes, making her butt stick up and press against me in just the right way, causing my right hand to instinctively take hold of her hip while a moan escaped my lips. Rachel raised her head, smirking back at me as she rolled her hips against me, knowing all my weaknesses.

"Can we do it like this next time," I whispered hotly into her ear, beating her at her own game as I ground my own hips against her, gripping her hip tightly.

She froze at the words, chewing on her bottom lip, and I wondered if it was too soon to be saying things like that. It probably wasn't a good idea to be assuming next times already and thinking that just because we did it once that we would be doing it regularly. Even if she had jumped on the idea of having sex just a little while ago, it could've still been the excitement of the night before extending into the morning. Plus, she was a virgin last night and I was already talking about different positions. I was probably going too fast again. This was all new territory to me and ever since I received the backlash from Artie after the first time I had sex with him, it was hard to not second guess myself with every decision I made. Especially with Rachel. I loved her too much to screw it up over a stupid comment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-," I apologized softly, loosening my hold on her hip and sliding my hand up and down her side in an attempt to relax her again.

"No," she said, cutting me off, taking my hand from her side and pressing it back to her hip, "What else do you want to do?"

"Ummm," I stuttered, not expecting that to be her answer and really not knowing how to respond to it. The things I wanted to do to her were endless, some maybe a little out of the ordinary and others perhaps downright twisted, but even the tamest of answers I could think of seemed too explicit to tell her. Other than a few mild comments made during her sophomore year, Rachel never really talked about sex and continuously blushed whenever the topic was brought up, no matter what the setting. Maybe things were different now that she had experienced it, maybe one night had matured her and caused her sexuality to take a new hold on her, but whatever the case, I felt like I was walking a very fine line.

I decided to go the safe route and fish for the correct answer, tugging lightly at her earlobe with my teeth before whispering, "What do you want me to do?"

She saw right through me.

"Nuh-uh," she warned, her hips continuously grinding to a steady rhythm while her fingers pressed mine deeper into her hipbone, "I want your answer."

"Normal stuff, completely vanilla and nothing at all out of the ordinary," I lied, it seemed like the right thing to do. It was hard to tell if Rachel would think my fantasy of tying her to my bed would be hot or demeaning to women, even if I was female myself.

"I think you're lying," she moaned, pushing my hand down from her hip and pressing it between her legs. Her hips bucked against the contact and her head fell to rest against the back of her hand on the floor, "Tell me. I won't judge you."

_No, of course not. Why would you judge me for wanting to screw you doggie style in the ass with a strap on._

"Maybe if you tell me one of yours first, I'll feel more comfortable with sharing mine," I answered, choking on the words as I discovered how wet she was even through her thin yoga pants.

She rocked against my hand one more time before rolling beneath me onto her back and said without any hesitation, as if she was just waiting for her chance to blurt it out, "I want to do it on the stage in the auditorium."

"Really," I said, smiling as I thought about it, not that it was all that surprising, "With or without an audience?"

"Well," she said, a blush covering her cheeks and her eyes dropped to focus on an invisible spot on my t-shirt, avoiding eye contact, "When I fantasize about it in my head, there may be people watching, but if we were fulfilling this fantasy in real life, I would rather it be just the two of us."

"Anyone in particular in that audience that you fantasize about," I pressed, taking great satisfaction in watching her squirm uncomfortably.

"There may be some people that we know," she shrugged intending to leave it at that, but I silently stared her down, waiting for her to break and name names, and she did after less than half a minute of the silent treatment, "Okay, I don't know. Maybe the glee club."

"You want to have sex in front of the glee club," I asked, raising an eyebrow with curiosity. I wasn't judging her or really thought it was _that_ weird, scat fetishes were weird to me, I just wanted to understand why she wanted to have sex in front of them. I wanted to know why it turned her on.

"You think I'm insane," she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut in embarrassment.

"Yes," I admitted with a soft chuckle, "But not because you're an exhibitionist. You're a performer so I can get it. I just want to know why you want them, specifically to be watching?"

"I guess," she started then let out a heavy sigh, rolling her eyes as she nervously began to pick at the fabric of my t-shirt with her fingers, "I don't know. Everyone thinks I'm repulsive and that no one would ever want me, especially not sexually. I guess I would like to shove it in their faces that someone like me could be with someone as beautiful as you."

"That doesn't make any sense," I said, shaking my head, "Finn and Puck both dated you and tried to sleep with you so many times and Santana's in love with you so-"

"What did you just say," Rachel interrupted, her eyes narrowed and her fingers stilled immediately.

Shit, I forgot to tell her about that. Actually, I had thought about it a little more and decided that I wasn't going to tell her unless I absolutely had to. There was no getting around it now.

"What are you talking about," Rachel snapped again when I didn't respond right away.

I sighed, not really having the energy to get into this conversation, "Santana has a crush on you."

"No," Rachel said firmly, shaking her head, "Santana hates me. Santana slushies me in the halls, smears cat poo on my car door handles and cuts my hair when she sits behind me in home ec."

"And you think she tortures you because she doesn't like you," I said, sitting back on my knees. Rachel stared at me with a look of pure shock, eyes wide and jaw slack, "She's obsessed with you, Rach. No one spends that much of their time thinking about someone they really hate. It was a lie she forced herself to believe so that she didn't have to admit to herself that she was in love with you."

"I don't believe you," Rachel whispered, staring blankly at the floor, "She hurt me. She pushed me against the lockers."

"Because she was angry with me for stealing you away from her," I explained. I knew it sounded crazy, especially to Rachel who had been suffering for so long by Santana's hand, and it was hard to explain that it was just how Santana was. She had been fighting who she was for so long, the only way she knew how to cope was to deny everything and lash out at the ones she cared about most.

"Stealing me away from her," Rachel repeated bitterly, "She never had me."

"But in her mind, you were hers," I said, "Didn't you ever wonder why she was so quick to have sex with Finn and how she kept trying to break you guys up? Or how she's been extra psychotic ever since we started seeing each other?"

"Because she wanted you back," Rachel said, getting to her feet and walking out of the closet as she began to pace around her room. I followed her outside the closet and sunk down onto her bed, watching her as she paced frantically, "She was angry because I stole _you_ away from her, Brittany. She's always loved you."

"No," I said softly and a little sad as my eyes fell to my hands in my lap, "Santana never loved me. I think she wanted to and she tried to, because even though I'm a girl, at least I'm a Cheerio and popular. In Santana's mind, if she had to be with a girl, if she had to have those feelings, at least it was for a cheerleader and not you."

"A loser you mean," Rachel spat the words with a short, miserable laugh.

"That's not how I see you," I said, grabbing her wrist as she paced past me and forcing her to look at me, "I love you, more than anything, ever. You're smart and beautiful and strong and passionate and no one in this world will ever be able to hold a candle next to you in my eyes. I'm just trying to explain Santana's view. She never meant to hurt you, she's just lost and so miserable that she's taking it out on everyone else. She hates herself for loving you, so she torments you."

"Why didn't you tell me," Rachel whispered, her teeth clenched and her eyes welling as she stared off past me, still refusing to meet my gaze.

"At first I thought it wasn't my place to say anything," I answered truthfully, "It wasn't my secret to tell. Santana only recently realized it herself and I thought that we could just ignore it. I was going to tell you after Santana had her breakdown on Friday, but I... I guess I felt a little insecure."

"Insecure," Rachel questioned, her eyes finally meeting mine as her brow furrowed, "You thought that I'd find out that one of the girls who has been making my life a living hell for the past few years is in love with me and I'd jump for joy and get on the Santana Lopez band wagon?"

I shrugged, my eyes falling back to my lap, "That's kind of what happened with us."

"Uh no," Rachel said, folding her arms across her chest, "That's not at all what happened with us. I didn't fall in love with you because I found out you liked me. I fell in love with you because I got to know the real you and what an amazing person you are. Okay, so maybe you were one of those girls who bullied me in the past, but you weren't the malicious one. You didn't come up with new ways to hurt me, you just followed orders and to be honest, if our lives were reversed, I would have done the same thing. It's no secret that I don't mind stepping on a few backs to get where I want to be in life so I understand why you did what you did, even if I don't like it. But Santana is an entirely different story. She's evil to the core. She's not following orders, she's making them."

"She's not that bad when you know her," I said, because it was true. I knew how sweet she could be and how caring she was towards her friends. She had built so many walls around her, that the only people who got to see the real Santana was Quinn and I. Not even Quinn knew as much about her as I did, they spent too much time competing with each other.

"She threw me into the lockers, Brittany, don't you remember how I got this bruise," Rachel screamed, lifting the sleeve on her t-shirt to reveal a large dark purple and blue bruise. I winced at the sight, remembering how petrified she was, cowering against the lockers and looking so tiny, "How can you say she's not that bad?"

"I'm sorry," I apologized softly, standing up and cupping her face with my hands, "Can we please stop talking about Santana? I don't want to fight about her. You're the only thing that matters to me and I don't ever want to fight with you."

Rachel took a deep breath, closing her eyes and then let it out slowly as she opened them again, "We're not fighting. I just find it hard to believe that you would actually think I would leave you for her, just like that. You've made me happier than anyone else ever has. I thought last night proved how much I care about you."

"It did," I smiled, stretching my arms out and resting them on her shoulders as she wrapped hers around my waist, "It was the best night of my life."

"Mine too," Rachel smiled, eyes dropping to my chest as a blush returned to her cheeks. I pressed a light kiss to her bangs covering her forehead as she whispered, "My life is so perfect right now that it scares me."

"Why," I asked, pulling my head back slightly so I could catch her eyes. She was avoiding eye contact again though, focusing on my t-shirt as she pressed her lips together.

"It never lasts," she whispered and when she finally did lift her eyes to mine there were tears in them, "At least not to me."

"This," I said, folding my arms around her and tightening our embrace, "This is going to last forever. I don't know what the future will bring or how many obstacles will be thrown at us, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that I will love you for the rest of my life. I'll never leave you, Rach, not for anything. No matter what happens, you can always be sure of that and never worry about it."

"Really," Rachel smiled, her eyes wide as the tears spilled down her cheeks, "You really want to be with me forever?"

"Definitely," I smiled back with a firm nod, "I'm going to be there when you get your acceptance letter to Julliard-"

"Actually it's NYADA now," Rachel interrupted.

"Okay, NYADA," I corrected, "I'm going to be there on the day we graduate. We're going to get a tiny, dank apartment in New York where the heat only works half the time and the super tells us everyday that he'll get on top of it tomorrow. But it won't matter, because you will be going to school for what you love and we'll be together and that's all we need to be happy. I'm going to be there on opening night, with flowers, when you get the starring role in some obscure off-Broadway musical and every night after that. Then when you get your big break and move to the lights of Broadway, I'll be there too."

"What else," Rachel whispered, caught up in my fantasy of the future.

"Well," I said softly, thinking for a moment before I continued, "Of course I'll be there on our wedding day, now that the laws have changed in New York we can have the perfect wedding, and I'll have a reason to wear a top hat, cause I think I could totally rock it."

Rachel laughed, biting her lip as she waited for more of my story.

I curled my fingers into her hair, teasing the locks as I said, "Then we'd honeymoon Vegas-"

"Paris," Rachel interrupted again.

"Paris," I laughed, "Staying there for a whole month, walking through the city, hand-in-hand, under the stars, then staying in bed until noon, but not because we were sleeping."

I felt her fingers dig into the small of my back as I spoke and she closed her eyes as she imagined it.

"When we got back to New York," I said, "You'd continue your leading role on Broadway, or maybe you'd have a new one, either way you would be collecting all the awards at every award show because of how fabulous you are. We'd have to convert our spare bedroom in our house to a showcase room, just to have a place to put them all. After awhile, though, we'd decide on a better use for our spare room."

"What could possibly be a better use than a showcase for all my awards," Rachel scoffed, opening her eyes and glaring at me.

"Barbra," I answered with a smirk.

"Barbra Streisand is going to move into our house," she asked, her eyes widening at the thought.

I laughed and shook my head, "No silly, little Barbra or Sheila or Liza or Sandy or whatever."

Rachel's brow furrowed in confusion, "Huh?"

"Our daughter," I shrugged, "I figured you'd name her after a Broadway character or star."

"Daughter," Rachel repeated, chewing on her lip as her fingers dug even further into me, "You want to have kids?"

"One day," I nodded, "With you."

"How would we-," she asked, letting the end of the sentence hang.

"We'd figure that out later," I said, "Maybe find a donor or a good friend. There's ways. I mean if you wanted to."

"Who would be the pregnant one," she whispered.

"You," I answered, "I want our kids to be blessed with your good looks. Plus, I think you'd look really beautiful pregnant."

She blushed as she instinctively removed a hand from my back, staring at it as she pressed it to her stomach, "Let's hope they get their father's nose."

"I like your nose," I said, lightly kissing the tip as I covered the hand on her stomach with my own.

She sucked in a shaky breath, closing her eyes as more tears rolled down her cheeks, "I want that. I want all of that."

"Anytime you feel sad," I whispered, pressing my lips to her ear, "Whenever things go wrong and you feel like your life is falling apart, think of our future. It's not just a story, Rach. It's what we have to look forward to."

"How does it end," she asked as I leaned my head back so I could look her in the eyes again.

"What," I asked, glancing down at our fingers laced together against her stomach and for a moment it all seemed so real. It felt like we were there already, married, expecting and with every aspect of our lives perfect. I'd never wanted anything more in my life.

"The story," she answered, pulling me back from the future, "Every story has an ending, right?"

I smiled and captured her lips with mine as my arms moved to wrap around her waist and hers locked around my neck. Everything about her felt so right and I was more than convinced that she was made just for me. There was no one in the world whose body would fit so flawlessly against mine and I was never going to let anything ever come between us.

I broke the kiss, smiling as her eyes stayed closed even after, and she ran her tongue over her swollen lips, "You'll just have to wait and see."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** First I just wanted to point out that I wrote a side story: "The Things Only You Know: The Origin of Man-Hands" to anyone who may have missed it. Then I would like to give myself a pat on the back for not taking too long to update again, and with a fairly long chapter too. Some porn is ahead, but far more porn to follow in the next chapter. Sorry for any and all mistakes, I was trying to get this posted as quick as possible since I took such a long hiatus on this story.

As always, please R&R! I love hearing your opinions and predictions :).

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><p>The second we stepped out of my car and I gazed around at the atmosphere of the competition, I was already fighting back tears. It should've been the day that started my career in motocross and instead I was only there as a spectator. As amazing and thoughtful as it was for Rachel to make the DVD for me, it was akin to a snowball's chance in hell of actually getting viewed by a scout. Sure I may be able to woo him into taking it with him, but the chances of it actually getting into his DVD player were pretty astronomical. It would probably be forgotten the moment I walked away. If I was here competing, I would've blown him away.<p>

"You okay," Rachel asked softly, slipping her hand in mine as we began to walk towards the bleachers, "You look so sad."

"I just really wish things were different," I said, stopping at the railing, barricading the public from the course, to stare out at the mountains of dirt and imagine myself tearing over them on my bike.

"We can have sex after," she suggested and the remark easily drew my focus from the course to her.

"Huh," was all I could respond, momentarily stunned by her bluntness.

"After the competition we'll have dinner with my dads then you could drive me back to your place and we could spend the rest of the evening, and perhaps part of the night, copulating," she smiled, saying the words as if she was talking about going for pizza, but the slight hints of a smile she was trying to mask were giving her away, "I mean we can't do it all night because we have school tomorrow and I do need my beauty sleep, but I figure we could probably get anywhere from eight to ten orgasms in. Maybe even more depending on the number of breaks you need to take. Maybe we can even fulfill some of those dark fantasies you have."

"Dark fantasies," I repeated, whispering the words and glancing around the crowded area to make sure no one was eavesdropping on our conversation, "What makes you think they're _dark_?"

Rachel shrugged with a knowing smile, slipping between me and the rail and tugging on the bottom of my t-shirt, "Because every time I so much as inquire about the kinds of things you enjoy sexually in the bedroom, or about things you've always wanted to try but haven't had the right partner to do it with, you avoid the topic. This leads me to believe that the desires you harbour are likely not of the common variety. So what is it? Is it furries? Would you like me to refer to you as Daddy?"

"What," I swallowed thickly, my tongue suddenly feeling like sandpaper in my mouth, "No, no. Nothing like that."

"So then why won't you tell me anything," she asked frowning, "You don't trust me enough to confide in me?"

"I do," I sighed, chancing another glance around at the crowd who wasn't paying us much attention at all, "I just feel like you're new to all this sex stuff and I don't want to scare you away or make you think that I expect you to do any of the things I fantasize about."

"You won't scare me away," Rachel insisted, her fists tightening in my t-shirt, "There's nothing at all that you could ever say that would scare me away. Just tell me one fantasy, just one and then I'll stop bugging you."

I sighed, chewing on my lip as I stared back at her, deciding which fantasy to admit to.

"Okay," I said finally, causing Rachel to immediately bounce up and down on her toes with a smile bright enough to light Broadway, "You know, I have already told you that I have a thing for your football uniform, so it's not like I haven't told you anything at all."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "All you said was that the uniform was a turn on and I haven't forgotten about it. Now that we've entered into maturity and are free to explore our sexuality, the right moment for dusting off my football uniform for the purpose of sexually stimulating you could arrive at any time. However, since it was the first inkling you've ever made to any sort of desire you conceal, I really want to save it for a special occasion and when you least expect it. For now, I don't just want a vague mention of an outfit you think looks good on me. I want a scenario and details. Explicit details."

"Right now," I asked, lowering my voice and eyeing a young boy as he passed a little too close to us, "Is this really the place to be discussing this?"

"Yes, right now," Rachel replied firmly, "I'm not letting you avoid it any longer."

She was staring at me with such seriousness, like a married couple discussing their financial difficulties, and I couldn't help the chuckle that broke through me.

"I demand to know what you find so funny, Brittany Pierce," Rachel demanded, folding her arms across her chest as her eyebrows knitted together.

"You," I said shaking my head, "I can't figure you out. One minute you're blushing and stuttering at the mention of sex and the next you're talking about it as if you do it as often as you brush your teeth. So which one is the real you and which one is the act?"

Rachel's arms dropped limply to her sides, her mouth twitched, and she turned towards the course, staring off somewhere into the distance. Her fingers delicately curled around the railing and the corner of her mouth twitched again, but she stayed silent.

I covered my hand over hers, giving it a light squeeze, "What's going on, Rach?"

She shrugged as her eyes fell to the railing and her lips curved into an embarrassed smile, "I thought it would turn you on if I was a little more assertive when it came to sex. Your past relationships all seemed to revolve entirely around sex and I just wanted to try to keep up."

"What," I questioned, I thought we had been over this numerous times already and the fact that Rachel needed constant reassurance about it was getting tiresome. Of course that didn't mean I wasn't going to keep reminding her how much I loved her and just wanted her to be herself every time it came up, "Rachel, for the millionth time, I just want you to be you. Didn't you just accuse me of not being comfortable enough to confide in you and now you're pretending that you're someone you're not."

"I just want to make sure that you stay interested in me now that we've had sex," Rachel said, staring down at our linked hands on the railing.

"How can I make you believe that our relationship isn't just about the sex," I asked, moving behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist as I rested my chin on her shoulder, "I'm pretty sure I told you all about my deep dark fantasy about you this morning. The fantasy that I can't ever get out of my mind and has even taken over all my dreams."

"I don't remember you-," Rachel started, her arms covering mine encircling her.

"Our future," I interrupted, "The one about us being together for the rest of our lives. That's my fantasy. And yeah, I have sexual fantasies about you and us, but you're acting like that's the only thing I care about. If you decide that you never want to have sex again, although it would suck like a lot, I wouldn't break up with you. If you want to wait awhile before we have sex again, I'm okay with that Rach. I just like being with you."

She inhaled a deep breath and sighed heavily, nodding as she said, "I'm sorry. You must be getting really sick of having to tell me that. I've just never loved someone so much before and all I want to do is make you happy."

"I know," I whispered, nuzzling her cheek with mine, "You make me happy by being yourself and you have to remember that it's when you let your insecurities get the best of you that causes your downfall. As long as you continue to stay true to yourself, you have nothing to worry about."

She turned around in my arms, her fingers playing with the fabric of my t-shirt as she smiled softly, "Don't think that I didn't notice you avoiding the question once again, Brittany Pierce. I still want to hear at least one sexual fantasy that you have."

"Okay," I said, lowering my voice again as I spoke, "I fantasize about you wearing my Cheerios uniform and performing a little dance for me while I watch."

"That's it," Rachel said with a disappointed tone, her bottom lip pouting comically as her fingers picked at the fabric of my shirt, "All you want me to do is dance for you and you couldn't tell me this before? I said explicit details and you gave me a Disney rating."

"You want the full scene," I sighed, which wouldn't have had as much trouble telling her all about if ten-year-old boys weren't constantly walking by us, "I really don't think this is the place-"

"No one is paying attention to us," Rachel protested, looking around, "They're too busy being interested in the competition starting and buying their snacks that they could care less what two teenage girls are gossiping about."

I chewed nervously on my lip for a moment, giving her a long stare, before finally giving in and divulging the scene that my mind had been drifting back to lately, "I'm sitting down, maybe in a chair or on the edge of a bed and you come into the room wearing the Cheerios uniform, hair tied back in a tight ponytail with every detail down to the white tennis shoes."

She tilts her head and smiles, her fingers stilling on my t-shirt as she listens to my story.

"You dance to the music playing," I continue, dragging my knuckles gently up and down her sides, "swinging your hips to the beat and teasing me with your moves, but you don't touch me. For a long time you just dance while I watch, moving your hands slowly all over your body, in your hair, your neck, your breasts and stomach, hips, and... everywhere."

My eyes drifted over her neck, staring at the discoloured marks that _I _put there and feeling a pang of arousal shoot through my body at the realization that I owned her. Not own in the sense of dictating her actions or taking away her freewill, I would never want to control her, one of my favourite things about Rachel was that she was her own person, but owning her in the way that she was mine and I was hers. The marks that I had left were like proof that she belonged to me, just like the ones on my neck were the evidence that I belonged to her.

"Then what," she pushed, softly, urging me to continue my story.

I tore my eyes from her neck, recalling where I had left off in my fantasy, as my hands moved around her to join at the small of her back, "You finally close the distance between us, straddling my lap while still moving and grinding your hips to the beat on top of me. I try to touch you, unable to resist the need to feel your skin beneath my fingertips, but you push my hands away and tell me that I'm not allowed. You're in charge. You torment me, touching me everywhere, pulling at my hair, massaging my neck, and stroking up and down the top of my chest and shoulders, but refuse to let your hands go to the places where I really want you to touch me. You tease me even more by leaning in close and making me believe that you're going to kiss me, but then you back away again before we do.

"It seems to last forever, until I'm shaking with anticipation and begging you to touch me in all those places and I'm so turned on that I'm sure I'm going to cum from just the grinding alone. Then you smile, this almost evil smile, and slide off my lap, standing back up and making me think that you're just going to leave me there, aching. But instead, you reach underneath your skirt and pull down your spanks and panties, closing your eyes and dropping your head back as you touch yourself with your fingers sliding through your wet pussy. Your hips keep swaying to the music and I just want to reach out and touch you, but I know I'm not allowed, so I just watch, mesmerized and hungry.

"Then you drop down to your knees in front of me, your eyes opening to look up at me with this sexy look as your fingers work the button on my jeans and slowly drag down my fly. Your eyes never leave mine as you yank my pants and panties off my legs and push my legs open with a hand on both of my knees. Your eyes finally leave mine to stare at how wet you've made me, but before you touch me, your fingers slide back between your legs, gathering your wetness before smearing it between my folds and painting my clit with it. You bite the inside of my thigh before moving your lips to my pussy and licking up all of our combined juices before closing your lips on my clit and sucking.

"You're driving me crazy with your mouth as your hands hold my hips and I can feel your wet fingers along my hipbone which is somehow making it even sexier. It doesn't take long before I'm on the verge of cumming, all the teasing you did turned me on so much that I'm almost there and your mouth is so hot and talented that you barely have to make any effort. But just when I'm about to cum, you stop and stand back up.

"I beg you to keep going, but you just giggle then go back to straddling my lap. You sit far back, on my knees instead of my thighs, lifting your Cheerios skirt and spreading your legs as wide as you can. Not only can I see how wet you are, but I can feel it all over my legs and you finally let me touch you. You take my hand, obviously my good one, and slip it under your skirt, keeping your fingers over mine and guiding me over you, circling and pinching your clit until you push two of my fingers inside you. You grind down on my fingers, rolling your hips and fucking yourself on them until you've worked yourself to that edge you left me hanging on. Then you push me down so that I'm laying on the bed, shifting higher up my body until you're straddling my abs with my fingers still inside you, and you reach behind and push your fingers inside me. A few seconds later and were both cumming together."

Rachel's eyes were wide, mouth hung open and she made a tiny squeak as I finished my story. I had gotten lost in the fantasy, completely forgetting where I was or anything about my surroundings, and I blinked myself back to the real world, nervously glancing around as I whispered, "Is that what you wanted?"

She made another little squeaking noise then clamped her mouth shut as her eyes darted around while she said so quickly it took me a second to understand her words, "How long until the competition starts?"

I unlocked my hands at her back and glanced down at my watch, "They should be making the opening introductions in about ten minutes."

Without warning, and less than a second after I had spoken, she was grasping my wrist tightly and dragging me back towards the parking lot, as I stumbled behind her.

"We can miss that," Rachel announced, her voice sounding shrill and her pace had turned into a mixture of a jog and power walk.

"Where are we going," I asked helplessly as she continued to drag me down the rows of cars and all I could do was mindlessly attempt to follow. She may have been small, but she sure could move when she wanted to, and her grip on my wrist was so strong I wasn't entirely certain I could break it if I tried.

"Unlock the doors," Rachel demanded as we neared my car, her voice still far higher than normal, and I urgently fumbled around in my pocket for the keys, trying to press the button on the remote locks as quickly as I could.

"What's going on," I tried again, but Rachel had already yanked open the backseat door and was shoving me down onto my back on the seat. Less than a second later, the door was shut and she was on top of me, her lips crashing down hard onto mine, teeth clashing and biting ruthless as her hips erratically ground down against mine. It didn't last as she grabbed my hand and, without any hesitation or romance of any kind, she shoved it underneath her skirt, pressing it hard against her centre while rocking against it.

"Shit," I mumbled against her bruising lips as my hand came into contact with her soaked panties and she broke the kiss completely to moan.

"I need you right now," she pleaded and her eyes were so full of arousal that she was on the verge of tears, "Please. I-I just need it now."

"Okay," I nodded dumbly, in shock and not knowing what else to do but comply. I quickly pulled her ruined panties to the side before dipping my fingers between her folds and finding her clit, sliding my fingers up and down over it, while her hands pressed heavily into my shoulders. There was no need to dip down to her entrance and gather wetness, she was already dripping down her thighs and her clit was so wet I was having trouble keeping my fingers from slipping off it. Her hips bucked against my hand as she buried her face in the nap of my neck, panting and whimpering and crying as she quickly neared orgasm. Her hands were everywhere at once, pulling hard at my t-shirt, squeezing my arms and digging her nails painfully into anywhere she could as if there was no place for them to comfortably settle. I couldn't imagine anything as sexy as Rachel was then, so turned on that she didn't even know what to do with herself.

"Inside," she moaned frantically against my neck, her nails creating deep scratches down my chest, "I need you inside."

"I thought you were too sore," I reasoned breathlessly, trying to keep up with her needs, but not wanting to hurt her.

"Just do it," she growled and the sound of her voice was so foreign and commanding that I certainly didn't need to be told again.

With a final pinch to her clit, I slid my fingers lower, trying to be as gentle as I could, but her hips were still moving so erratically that it made it impossible. Finally I gave up and plunged two fingers inside her and her teeth sunk down into my neck as she screamed against me.

I didn't have a chance to ask her if she was alright, before she pushed herself up, letting one foot drop to the floor of the car while she lifted the other so it was resting on the seat, finding space between my hip and the back of the seat, and holding her knee to her breast. She lifted her skirt, looking down at where my fingers were inside her and we both let out simultaneous moans. The sight of her stretching tightly around my soaked fingers and her clit so swollen it was hanging out from between her folds, was intoxicating. I couldn't tear my eyes away as she used her toes as leverage to raise and lower herself on my fingers, one hand still holding up her skirt while the other fisted my t-shirt on top of my stomach.

I pressed my thumb to her clit, curled my fingers inside her and a second later she was screaming my name as her walls began to spasm around my fingers. Her small body shook as she continued to ride out the waves, slowly rocking on my fingers before she finally collapsed down on top of me, laying her head on my chest.

The car was silent for a long time, the only sounds coming from the announcer introducing the riders in the competition and the combined sound of our heavy panting. After a few minutes had passed and neither of us had moved or spoken, I finally broke the silence, "I guess in the future I should probably only talk about my fantasies in a more private place."

"Mmmm," Rachel hummed, quiet for another couple minutes before she found her voice again, "I dunno, I kinda liked this."

"Sure looked like it," I teased, about to brush my fingers through her hair until I realized they were still covered with her and decided against it.

"I don't even know what came over me," Rachel mumbled, as if she was too tired to even move her lips, "I've never been that turned on in my entire life. I felt like I was going to die if we didn't have sex right then."

"I guess that's twice now that I've saved your life," I chuckled and she found enough energy to lift her head and rest her chin on my chest as she smiled lazily at me.

"Thanks," she said and I felt her hand moving between us and sliding down my stomach, "And what about you?"

I caught her hand as it was about to slide into my jeans and gave her a smile, "I can wait until later. I mean I have to save up my energy if we're going to be spending all night having sex right?"

"You really want to get back to the competition don't you," she said, but there was no disappointment in her tone, only understanding.

"Yeah," I admitted, leaning down and kissing her sweaty forehead, "I need to see how bad my team sucks without me."

"Okay," she agreed, slowly pushing herself up and fixing her panties, "But just so you know, I definitely plan on rewarding you all night. Perhaps while wearing a certain red, white and black uniform."

I swallowed, watching her scoot out from the backseat of the car and imagining her in my Cheerios uniform.

It was going to be a very good night.

* * *

><p>By the final event of the competition, I still hadn't been able to spot the scout. Unfortunately he wasn't wearing his 'I'm a scout' t-shirt today.<p>

"Is that him," Rachel asked, pointing to a guy in the bleachers who looked to be somewhere in his late twenties.

"I don't know," I groaned in frustration, "I have no idea what he looks like."

"Oh," Rachel said, taking my hand in hers and giving it a sympathetic squeeze before her eyes drifted back into the crowd, "Is that him?"

"Rachel," I snapped, not meaning to take out my anger on her, but my mood was already starting to sour without her pestering.

"Sorry," Rachel said softly, slumping down into the seat.

"No," I sighed, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her against me, "I know you're just trying to help."

"So you did make it after all," Jay said, appearing on the stairs beside our seats, "I wasn't sure if you'd come out or not after what happened."

"Still gotta support my team, even if I can't compete," I said, trying not to let all the disappointment I was feeling in my voice.

"We cut Derrick from the team," Jay said with a nod, "He should've been banned a long time ago for not listening to his leader and I'm really sorry it took a hospital trip for me to realize it."

"It was a freak accident," I assured him, "You couldn't have known he would cause that much trouble."

"Hey Rachel," Jay nodded towards her with a smile, causing her to brighten immediately and look almost shocked at the acknowledgement of her presence.

"Hi," Rachel replied shyly, her hand sliding over to rest on my knee as she leaned even further against my side.

"What's that look for," Jay asked suspiciously at her reaction.

"Nothing," Rachel said, shaking her head and blushing slightly as she smiled, "I just didn't know you knew my name."

"Course," Jay scoffed, giving me a light punch on the shoulder, "You're Britt's groupie."

"Actually it's girlfriend now," Rachel beamed, proudly.

"My mistake," Jay chuckled, giving her a wink.

"Have you caught sight of any scouts," I asked, eager to discover one and figuring he probably knew what some of them looked like.

"I've only seen one," Jay replied, twisting his head to scan the crowd before pointing at a man sitting on the other end of the bleachers, "There's the dude."

The man looked to be somewhere in his thirties, fairly well dressed, but not too overly dressed for the occasion, and was watching the current rider intensely, pausing every so often to jot down notes in the book on his lap. Now that my attention was drawn to him, he definitely looked like a scout, or at least how I always pictured one would look like.

"You look like you got a plan," Jay remarked as I studied the scout.

"We brought a DVD," Rachel said excitedly, holding it up with a large toothy grin.

"That's some good thinking," Jay nodded, "If anyone's going to get any kind of deal, it's gonna be you."

"What's he scouting for," I asked, unable to take my eyes off the man who could be in charge of my future.

"Not sure exactly," Jay shrugged, "Rumour is he's starting up a new a stunt team focusing more on performing than competitions. But it's just a rumour."

"Performing," Rachel questioned and I could see the stars in her eyes from just saying the word.

"Putting on stunt shows at arenas and other events," I explained, "Sometimes you see stunt teams performing at like Monster Trucks and car races."

"Supposedly," Jay said, leaning in as if the news he had was top secret, "He's trying to create a team that headlines their own show. No more opening up for oversized trucks that crush small cars."

"It's a nice dream," I shrugged, "But it's not really realistic. There's not enough money in motocross for it to stand on its own."

"Times are changing, Britt," Jay mused, placing a hand on my shoulder, "You never know. Five years from now, I wouldn't be surprised if you're on the cover of every magazine."

"Really," Rachel hummed, her voice filled with awe at the possibility of fame.

"What was it, MXA that named you the future of motocross," Jay smiled, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"MXA," Rachel asked, her eyes darting between Jay and I.

"You didn't tell her," Jay laughed, then turned his attention to Rachel, "Britt here was featured in Motocross Action Magazine last year when they did a feature on high school riders. They said that out of all the riders they watched, Britt was far more experienced than any of them. Said that she could easily be competing with the pros already."

"It wasn't that big of a deal," I blushed, remembering the day when the reporter had flown all the way out to Lima just to see me. It had been a big deal.

"Not that big of a deal," Jay exclaimed, "I heard that the only reason we have a scout here is because of that article. He looked pretty disappointed when your name wasn't called in the line up."

"Go talk to him," Rachel squealed, shoving the DVD onto my lap, "Go, now."

I nervously glanced over at the scout again as my hands shook against the DVD, "What should I say?"

"Hello, I'm Brittany Pierce and I'm the next motocross superstar," Rachel said, using the same tone she used every time she was introducing her solo during Glee.

"Shit," Jay said, his attention turning to the current rider who was finishing up his run, "I gotta go and get ready, but let me know how it goes, Britt."

"Good luck," I called after him as he ran down the stairs.

"Go," Rachel ordered, pushing my shoulder and giving me a stern look.

"I don't know what to say," I sighed, my nerves beginning to eat away at my confidence.

"I just told you what to say," she said, pushing me again.

"It doesn't sound right," I protested, "What if he just laughs in my face or tells me to get lost?"

"I don't think he's going to do that," Rachel said, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it tightly, "But even if he does, this is your dream, Brittany. You have to fight for your dreams. I am aware that my choice in occupation will lead to a fair amount of rejection that I will be forced to face in the future, but that is just the price you pay for following your heart and refusing to settle for a mediocre life. Even if he laughs in your face or views the DVD and deems you unworthy, at least you made an effort to put yourself out there. What if he doesn't laugh in your face? What if he watches your videos, is stunned by your talent, and begs you to join his team? And in the end all it took was a little bit of courage and a five minute conversation."

I stared back at the scout, as the butterflies danced nauseatingly in my stomach, and knew Rachel was right. I would regret it forever if I didn't go over there and talk to him.

"Come with me," I asked her, feeling childish as I said the words, but knowing that I could feed off her courage if she was at my side.

"Sure," she smiled, warmly, standing and pulling me through the bleachers before I could change my mind. Before we reached him, she stopped, pushing me in front of her so that I was leading the way and let go of my hand as she followed behind me.

"Hi," I said to the man nervously, shifting my weight to each foot as I shoved my hands into my pockets. He glanced up from his notebook and gave me a once over, before narrowing his eyes on my face as if trying to remember where he knew me from. I felt Rachel's elbow poke me in the side and the jolt forced me to blurt out, "I'm Brittany Pierce."

"I thought I recognized you, Dan Renner," he smiled with a nod, extending his hand towards me.

I shook his hand, making sure it give it a firm shake like my dad always told me, then searched my brain for the next thing I should say. I saw him glancing towards Rachel and decided that it would probably be best if I introduced her as well.

"This is my," I paused briefly, skipping over the 'girl' part, "friend, Rachel."

I chanced a look towards Rachel as they shook hands, hoping that I hadn't offended her by not introducing her as my girlfriend, but she seemed to be completely unaffected by it. It wasn't that I was embarrassed of her or anything like that, I just didn't know what this man's views on lesbian relationships were and I didn't want to do anything that could hurt my chances of getting some kind of a deal.

"I was hoping to see you riding today," Dan said disappointedly, drumming his pen against his notebook.

"Had a little accident," I sighed, holding up my cast, then quickly added, "Unrelated to motocross. Well, sort of."

"She saved me from a flying bike," Rachel offered, proudly.

"Bummer," Dan replied, raising his eyebrows at the 'flying bike' part.

"I heard you might be starting up a stunt team," I said, cutting to the chase.

"Where'd you hear that," he asked, leaning back in his seat with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Rumours," I shrugged, then eagerly pushed forward, "So is it true?"

"Don't believe everything you hear," he laughed, then after a hard stare his gaze softened as he seemed to give in, "But, in this case, the rumour has some grounds. I'm thinking about starting up a team, but nothing is written in stone yet. I'm on a countrywide tour, looking for some talented fresh blood that might be interested in that kind of a team."

"I'm interested," I spoke up, just as he barely finished speaking.

"Good to hear, but I've already found hundreds of interested riders and have been able to witness their talent," he said, pointing his pen towards the course, "I can't just take your word for it."

"I know," I brightened, holding out the DVD towards him, "I brought a DVD. It has videos of me riding from previous competitions and practices. Most of the videos are from last year, so it doesn't show any of the new tricks that I've learned, but I think it's still good enough to give you an idea of what I'm capable of."

"Hate to break this to you, kid," he sighed, staring down at the DVD, but making no movement to take it, "But I'm not allowed to accept media from outside riders. Could put me in a tight spot legally. I'm not going to lie, I did come here to watch you, specifically, but if you're unable, my hands are tied."

"If you could just make an exception this once," I pleaded, feeling my stomach begin to knot as my dreams seemed to be slipping through my fingers, "My arm should be better in a month and then I can show you in person."

"I can't take your DVD," he answered firmly, shaking his head and pushing it back towards me, "Maybe I'll make a trip back here next year, anything is possible."

"Please, take it," Rachel begged, suddenly, sounding as though she was about to cry, "I'm the reason that she's not competing right now and winning all the events. It's not her fault and she shouldn't be punished for being brave enough to save my life. All we're asking is for you to watch the DVD. I don't understand why that's so hard for you to do."

"Because legally, as soon as you put that DVD in my hand, I'm liable for copyright issues and a whole bunch of other legal problems that I can't chance," he explained, and he did sound as though it pained him to refuse, "It's not a matter of not wanting to watch your video, I gotta protect my ass."

"Wait," Rachel said, excitedly and I couldn't understand why, "You're allowed to watch the DVD, you're just not allowed to take it."

"Right," he nodded, pointing his pen at her.

"Stay here," Rachel instructed the both of us, quickly turning and running down the steps through the bleachers. For a moment I just watched after her, confused as to what she could possibly be up to and why she was suddenly so excited.

"Cute girlfriend," Dan remarked, causing my head to whip back around towards him.

"How did you know she's my girlfriend," I asked nervously, hoping that it wasn't going to have any affect on my chances. I knew that it shouldn't, but people tended to let their personal biases cloud their judgement in situations like this.

"She's got the eyes of a teen girl in love," he chuckled with a mock-dreamy air to his voice, then his gaze drifted back to where she was last seen, "Saving her life, huh. Very smooth."

"Not that smooth," I scoffed lightly, glancing down at my broken arm.

"It'll heal," he said, "You're young and from what I hear you're extremely talented. I'm not the only scout that's ever going to come knocking at your door. There's going to be other chances."

"I know," I sighed, "It's just, I'm graduating at the end of the year and I want to have something to do after that, somewhere to go. I want to know what I'm doing."

"Your girlfriend's going to college and you don't want to be the girlfriend that flips burgers for minimum wage while she's off getting a higher education," he said, with so much understanding it surprised me.

"Yeah," I chuckled, slumping down onto the bench beside him, "Motocross is my dream and I know I'm good enough to go pro one day with the right coach. I'm not new to the sport and know that motocross careers don't last very long. I'll be lucky if I'm able to still do it by the time I'm thirty and don't have any major accidents that force me to retire before then. I'm seventeen and the longer I wait to get my career started, the less time I will have in it. I know that if you give me this opportunity and put me on your team, I'm going to have the best trainers and the best chance at launching my career sooner rather than later."

He smiled, staring at me for a long time before turning his attention back to the course, "You're smart, Brittany, smarter than a lot of the riders I deal with everyday. I have a feeling you don't need to worry too much, though."

"Why," I asked.

"Your girlfriend seems pretty determined to get you that spot," he smirked, and as if on cue, I caught sight of Rachel running full speed up the stairs to where we were sitting.

"Please follow me to the Brittany Pierce Movie viewing theatre," she said breathlessly, with a huge smile as she attempted to straighten out her ruffled clothing.

"Huh," I said, but she immediately shot me a look that told me to not question her and both Dan and I followed behind her.

Rachel led us back to the parking lot and through a maze of cars until she finally stopped beside a van with the rear sliding door open.

"Please make yourself comfortable next to the child's car seat and your movie will begin immediately," Rachel instructed, holding her arm out and ushering Dan into the van. I glanced into the back of the van, noticing the built in televisions made to occupy children, and gave Rachel a smile as she bounced with pride at her idea.

"She's good," Dan remarked to me with a wink as he settled into his seat and Rachel turned the DVD on before shutting the door.

"Whose van is this," I laughed as she half skipped and half jumped towards me, almost expecting her to just leap into my arms.

"That kind man right there," Rachel said, pointing to a man standing by the front of the van.

"How much money did you have to give him," I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist as we talked.

"Twenty dollars," she admitted with a shrug.

"I'll pay you back," I promised, still in disbelief that she had come up with this idea.

"Never," she huffed as if it was the silliest thing I could've ever said, "Besides, it was a bargain. I would've easily paid a hundred."

I leaned forward and kissed her lightly, resting my forehead against hers as I continued to smile and shake my head.

"I thought we were just friends," Rachel whispered, jokingly.

"You caught that, huh," I said, wrinkling my nose.

"It's alright," she whispered, her eyes dropping to her hands resting on my chest, "I understand why you said it."

"He knows anyway," I replied, squeezing her closer.

"You told him," she smiled, eyes shinning as she looked up at me.

"No," I admitted, then joked, "Apparently you need to work on your acting."

"My acting is just fine," Rachel defended, "Just as long as I never have to act alongside you as your nemesis."

"Thanks, Rach," I said softly, brushing my nose against her forehead, "The DVD, the van, everything. You're amazing."

"I'm just trying to repay you for all the things you've done for me," she shrugged, her arms extending to reach around my neck.

"I'm impressed," Dan said, as he opened the back door and stepped out of the van, "You've definitely got some wicked skills and if you're telling me you can do more, then I can't wait to see it."

"Does that mean I'm on the team," I asked, hopefully, breaking apart from Rachel, but taking her hand instead.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Dan answered, seriously, "Like I said, I've been scouting hundreds of riders and a good many of them have a lot of potential. I'm starting off with a small team of elites, about ten riders and five alternates, so choosing my riders isn't so easy. If it takes off I'll think about making more teams, but for now I gotta keep it small. You're good, Brittany, but I've seen a lot of good riders and I still have a lot more places to visit and to be honest, I really can't give you a spot on my team based on a five minute video of old competitions."

"Well, thanks for your time," I said, trying to keep my appearance professional and hide my disappointment.

"Which is why I'm going to be coming back here in a couple months, when your arm's all healed, so I can watch you ride in person," he added with a smile, causing Rachel to leap up and down beside me.

"Are you serious," I asked, shocked that I was actually going to get a second chance to prove to him what I was capable of.

"I've let great riders slip through my fingers in the past," he said, "I'm not going to let that happen to you without giving you a fair shot."

"You're not going to regret this," Rachel squealed, and I could tell she was holding herself back from hugging him, "Brittany is the best motoring girl you will ever see."

I giggled at her terminology as she blushed.

"You ever thought about modelling, Brittany," he asked, drawing my attention back towards him.

"Modelling," I repeated doubtfully, the idea of it sounding odd.

"A good friend of mine works in the advertising department at Fox Racing," he continued while nodding, "Would you mind if I gave him your name? He's always looking for pretty girls that can actually ride."

"Sure," I said blankly, glancing over at Rachel who I thought might keel over from excitement.

"Great," he exclaimed, then threw a thumb in the direction of the competition, "I better get back and watch the rest of the competition, but you'll definitely be hearing from me in a month. Nice meeting you Brittany. And Rachel."

"See," Rachel screamed after Dan and left, "See what happened!"

"You were right," I laughed, "Absolutely right."

"And modelling," she added dreamily, "Can you believe it?"

"Actually no," I admitted, shaking my head, stunned at everything that had just passed.

"I'm actually jealous," Rachel said, seeming to be saying that to herself before her eyes returned back to me with fresh excitement, as if a thought just occurred to her, "Oh my gosh, I'm dating a model!"

"I'm not a model, Rach," I said, attempting to calm her down.

"Not yet," she replied quickly, still screaming, "But you will be. Who knew motocross could be so glamourous. I had no idea that there would be magazine articles and performances!"

"Do you need to sit down," I teased, pressing a hand to her forehead as if I was checking her temperature.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in a magazine," she said, her tone suddenly accusing as she pushed my hand away from her forehead and poked a finger to my chest.

"I don't know," I shrugged, sheepishly, "I didn't really think about it. I don't ride for the publicity, I ride because it makes me happy."

She stared up at me, her head shaking slightly as her smile returned and said "Are you ready to go back to our seats."

"Actually," I smiled, taking her arms and wrapping them around my neck as I folded mine around her waist, "I think I'd rather have dinner with you and your dads."

"You don't want to watch the rest of the competition," she asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion, "I thought this was really important to you."

"It is," I nodded, tightening our embrace until every inch of her body was pressing against mine, "But I just realized that I don't really care who wins. We've been here for two hours and thanks to you, I just got what I really came here for. I wanted the scout to notice me and now he does. Now, I want to spend the rest of the day with your family, then take you back to my bed and ravish you all night long."

She smiled as she raised herself up on her toes and locked our lips in a slow and passionate kiss. Her fingers tangled in my hair, nails grazing my scalp as she moaned softly into our kiss before dragging her tongue across my lips. I parted my lips, deepening the kiss as my tongue joined with hers, dancing and teasing, while my hands drifted downwards to squeeze her ass. I expected her to break the kiss immediately following that, maybe giggle or give me a playful glare, but she didn't. Instead, she let out another moan into the kiss, fisted my hair in her hands, and roughly turned the kiss from passionate to hungry. Our teeth clacked together before hers bit down on my bottom lip, tugging it back before letting it go and doing it all over again.

"I'll give you your twenty bucks back if you do it in the van and let me watch," the van's owner said, interrupting our kiss.

I rolled my eyes and snorted my disgust, before glancing over at Rachel, her eyes half closed as she chewed on her lip and said, "Okay."

"Rachel," I snapped in disbelief.

"I mean, that's disgusting," Rachel yelled, folding her arms across her chest, "What kind of a pig are you?"

"Whatever," the man mumbled, walking back to the competition.

"You really do get off on an audience," I said, watching a blush instantly colour her cheeks.

"I'm in therapy," she sighed, her fingers fidgeting nervously as she stared down at the gravel beneath her feet.

"It's okay," I chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "I mean there are weirder things you could get off on."

"Please tell me there's something that turns you on that is just as embarrassing," Rachel pleaded, pouting as she curled against my side.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about my fantasies in public anymore," I joked.

Rachel opened her mouth to reply, but the sound of my cellphone ringtone interrupted us. I fished my phone out of my pocket, staring down at the number before quickly silencing it and pushing it back into my pocket.

"Who was that," Rachel asked, curiously.

"Telemarketer," I replied, but after she raised a skeptical eyebrow, I shrugged and added, "I'm satisfied with my long distance package."

She chuckled, before taking my hand and leading me back to my car.

* * *

><p>Once we arrived at Rachel's house, I excused myself to the bathroom as Rachel headed towards the kitchen to begin preparing supper. I closed the door behind me and took out my phone, staring down at the screen that displayed '1 New Message" and hesitantly running my thumb over the button without pressing it. I stared at it for a few minutes, until the screen darkened, and took a deep breath as I pressed the button on my phone to retrieve my voice mail message. I entered my code, selected the correct number to play the new message, then leaned back against the door as I listened.<p>

"Hey, BB, it's Kay. Kaylee. Your sister. I was just wondering if you were going to come out and see me soon. It's been a long time. A really long time and I miss you. I know you're going to be going off to college soon and then after that you probably won't get any chances to visit and I know you hate coming here, but I really miss you and my birthday is coming up too. You probably forgot. October 16th, though. You don't have to come out for my birthday, but just... soon. Please. Okay, well, call me back. I have a different room now. This time I'm by myself, so there won't be any problems like last time. Same number. So, call... I miss you."

I sighed, deleting the message as my head fell back against the door and I shut my eyes tightly.

"You alright in there," I heard Hiram's concerned voice, from the other side of the door, startling me, "Rachel demanded I check on you since you've been gone for ten minutes."

"Fine," I said quickly, pushing my phone back into my pocket as I leaned over and flushed the toilet, "Just washing up and then I'll be out."

"Excellent," Hiram said, "Leroy's just putting in a movie for us. Something to do with talking animals."

I smiled, thinking about hanging out with the Berry dad's and said, "Sounds great."

I heard the soft patter of feet depart as I turned on the sink, staring back at the guilty expression on my face in the mirror.

"Sorry, Kay."


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Remember last chapter when I promised lots of smut this chapter? I lied. Sorry. But absolutely with 100% certainty there will be lots next chapter. As saddened as you may be by this, know that I made this decision with you guys in mind for a couple reasons. First this chapter was already fairly long and if I added in the next part it would likely be more than double its size. The biggest reason, though, was because it takes me forever to write smut and I have to take lots of breaks, so I wanted to give you guys this to read while I take my time with the other and not have such a long wait in between chapters. So there's my reason.

**A/N2:** I also wanted to mention that this story has passed 100,000 hits! Wow! that's crazy! Thanks to all my lovely readers who are still with me as I drum out this ridiculously long story (I believe it's somewhere around 220 pages as a single word document)!

All that being said, I hope you still enjoy and as always Read and Review :D!

* * *

><p>I ended up watching the movie with Rachel's dads while Rachel prepared our dinner in the kitchen. I had asked her if she wanted help when I got out of the bathroom, but she told me she was fine and before I could press it further, Hiram's hand was on my elbow, leading me to the couch.<p>

Although there was a couch and a Lazyboy, the Berry men insisted that I sit in between them on the couch and spent more of the children's movie debating the accuracy of it, than actually watching it. I wasn't interested in watching it anyways, I was fairly sure that no one over the age of five was interested in watching it, and listening to them bicker on either side of me was much more exciting.

I couldn't remember the last time I had actually sat down with just my parents and done anything as a family. I couldn't even remember the last time we'd had dinner together. So spending time with the Berry men made up for all that I was missing with my own family. Best of all, at no point did Rachel's dads ever make me feel left out, or as if my opinions weren't important. I didn't have too many opportunities to share my opinions, since it quickly became clear that Rachel acquired her abundant need to express herself vocally from both of her parents, but it didn't matter. Just like I had enjoyed watching their morning routine, I enjoyed their afternoon one just as much.

"Have you decided which colleges you're applying to yet, Brittany," Hiram asked, halfway through the movie.

"Dear, I already told you that she's training for a biking career," Leroy said, before I could answer.

"Biking," Hiram questioned, "As in Tour de France? Have you seen the thighs on some of those men?"

"Actually," I said, shyly, "It's motocross, not cycling."

"Sorry, Brittany," Leroy apologized, covering his mouth with the tips of his fingers, "I'm much more fluent in Broadway than extreme sports."

"Extreme sports," Hiram gasped dramatically, "That sounds dangerous. I once saw one of those skateboarders that hang around the library lose his manhood by falling onto a railing."

"Well that's one issue that I'll never have to worry about," I giggled earning a soft smack on the shoulder from a smirking Leroy, then I regained my composure as I admitted, "It can get pretty dangerous at times and it is true that you'll never be a good rider if you don't take any risks. But I've been riding since I was six and I'm pretty good at knowing when I'm going to fall and how to fall properly so that I don't hurt myself. I'm not going to lie, though, even the best riders fall, break bones, or worse. It's just the risk you gotta take."

"Have you told Rachel about this," Hiram asked, glancing nervously towards his partner.

"Sure," I nodded, but then when I thought about it, I realized we really hadn't discussed the fact that injuries were almost a usual occurrence in motocross and I knew that all of her knowledge about the sport was likely what had come from me, "I mean, I think she knows. She's watched me practice and went to the competition today so she can see how dangerous it could be. I don't think I've specifically talked about the dangers, though."

"That's probably a talk you're going to want to have with her," Leroy suggested, then added, "Soon."

"I don't think she'd be as enthusiastic and pushing you into it if she was aware that there's a risk of death every time you get on your bike," Hiram said, reluctantly.

"You think she'll try to get me to do something else," I asked disheartened, my eyes falling to my fidgeting fingers in my lap.

There was a pause between the Berrys and I refused to glance up at their faces, afraid that I would find the answer I didn't want to hear in their expressions.

"I think Rachel will support you in whatever you want to do," Leroy replied, finally, "She knows first hand the need to follow your dreams. I just think she should be aware of the dangers and if she doesn't find out about it from you, it could cause her to react a little harshly."

"Rachel has always been known to act a little over dramatically," Hiram reasoned, with an assuring pat on my knee, "Don't worry so much. Even if Rachel is a little apprehensive of the idea, she'll come around after some time."

"I'm certain that at this point, there's nothing that can break you two up," Leroy chuckled.

I forced a smile, but I suddenly wasn't feeling so confident anymore.

* * *

><p>Rachel cooked a vegan lasagna for supper that was so good I could hardly believe it was vegan. I always expected the food to be tasteless or gross, but was surprised to find that I was wrong.<p>

The actual dinner went smoothly, her dads even making a toast to our relationship and couldn't possibly look more happy that we were together. I wasn't normally a favourite among parents, especially when I was 'dating' their child, so it was a nice change to have her fathers like me so much.

I helped her fathers with the dishes after dinner and once we were finished I saw Rachel coming down the stairs with a duffle bag hanging over her shoulder. I watched as her dads exchanged a glance before Hiram spoke up, "Are you going somewhere, Rachel?"

"Yes," Rachel nodded, "I'm going to be staying over at Brittany's tonight."

Leroy shot me a pointed look, raising an eyebrow as Hiram responded, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not," Rachel asked and I could see that she was starting to get angry, "I've slept at Brittany's before."

"Yes," Leroy agreed, "But now that your relationship seems to be getting serious, I'm not sure if it's such a good idea that you two continue having sleepovers without parental supervision."

"That is entirely unfair," Rachel protested, "I'm not a child anymore, I'm sixteen, and I'm old enough to make these kinds of decisions for myself."

"Rach, you are still a child," Leroy gently reasoned, "You're our child and we just worry about you."

"You don't need to worry," Rachel defended, "Brittany and I aren't doing anything wrong and we will still be at school tomorrow, on time for all our classes. What are you so afraid of?"

Hiram and Leroy exchanged another glance and Leroy gave him a shrug as if he was backing down. Hiram sighed as he turned back to his daughter and said sternly, "Alright but if I get any calls from school tomorrow that you were even a minute late for school, this will be the last time."

"You won't," Rachel said excitedly, hopping towards her fathers and wrapping her arms around both at the same time, "I promise."

"Go," Hiram said, shaking his head, "Before I change my mind."

Before I knew it, Rachel was grabbing my hand and dragging me towards their front door, with a skip in her step and cheerful tone to her voice as she said her goodbyes. Then we were out the door and in my car before I'd even registered exactly what had taken place.

Her hands cupped my cheeks as she yanked me towards her, kissing me eagerly as I was still trying to catch up. When she finally released my face and broke the kiss, her entire face was beaming with excitement.

"Wha-," I tried to ask, but she was already speaking before I could even finish the word.

"Do you see how much they like you," she shrieked, her eyes lighting up and wider than I'd ever seen them, "They've never once liked any of my suitors, but they absolutely love you. I can't believe they just gave us their blessing to have intercourse."

"They did," I asked, trying to think back to when that happened.

"They're not ignorant to believe that we wouldn't be sharing a bed tonight, especially without your parents around," Rachel explained, "Although I really can't picture your parents minding even if they were around."

"They wouldn't," I commented, slightly bitter, but Rachel was too excited to notice.

"They were so hesitant to let me go because they knew we would be having sex," Rachel continued to explain, "But they gave in, they gave me permission to spend the night knowing that you would be defiling their daughter and they're alright with that."

"I'm not sure I like it when you say it like that," I said, frowning at the term. It made it sound like I was doing something bad to her that she didn't want.

"Sorry," she apologized, "I just mean that is how they would see it. I'm their baby and well, at least in my Dad's eyes, I'm still their innocent virgin. But after tonight they will both know that I'm a woman and they gave their blessing for me to do so."

"I think you may be over-analyzing it a bit too much," I said, blankly staring at their garage door in front of my car as her words began to make my head spin, "I don't think that's exactly what they were doing. I think they just trust you to be able to make the best decisions for yourself. That doesn't exactly mean that they're giving us their blessing to have a sexual relationship. I don't think any dad does that. They're probably hoping you'll decide the best decision for yourself is to wait until you're twenty-five."

Rachel's posture slumped as I finished speaking and I instantly felt guilty for killing her delight.

"Still," she said quietly, after a brief silence, "They're letting me stay overnight at your house. They've never let me do that with anyone I was dating in the past and were always very strict that they leave the house by nine o'clock. I think that is something to celebrate."

"Definitely," I smiled, taking her hand and lifting the back of it to my lips, "You ready for those orgasms."

"You have no idea," Rachel blushed as I started the car, "I've been uncomfortable all supper just thinking about it. I thought I was going to lose it when I watched you lick your fork clean when you were finished your meal. Never have I ever wanted to be a fork so badly."

"Don't worry," I chuckled as I pulled the car out of their driveway and began to head towards my house, "I'll be forking you soon enough."

* * *

><p>I expected us to fall into my bedroom, unable to take our hands off each other, and start going at it as soon as we got back to my place, but apparently Rachel's recurring shyness returned and instead we innocently made our way to my room holding hands. I closed my bedroom door behind us and moved towards her, my hands tucking her long silky hair behind her ears as I pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, pulling back for a moment before repeating the kiss several more times. She didn't really seem to respond each time I kissed her, her lips unmoving and not even attempting to lock against mine as I continued to place fleeting kisses against hers. A dozen or so pecks later I finally pulled back with a frown.<p>

"What's wrong," I asked, brushing my knuckles over her smooth cheeks as she gazed up at me.

"I'm not really that good of a dancer," she blurted out suddenly, "I mean, unless in your fantasy I was performing one of the scenes from Swan Lake. Realistically, though, you're probably imagining less ballet and more exotic dancing and I'm not really all that good at sexy."

"And maybe a month ago I would've accepted that as a valid excuse," I smiled, dragging my thumb across her swollen bottom lip, "but I know better now, or did you forget all those lessons I gave you and the amount of cold showers we had to take after those lessons?"

"That was different," she smiled, her eyes shifting away from me, "You weren't watching me like how you're going to be watching me now."

"Well," I said, "For the record I was, I was just good at hiding it. What's freaking you out?"

"That I'm not going to be sexy at all and you're going to laugh at me," she confessed, anxiously, "That I'm not going to live up to your fantasy me."

"I can assure you I won't be laughing," I promised, "and everything you do is sexy to me. You, just standing here and admitting your insecurities is sexy to me. Watching you tie your shoes or brush your teeth is sexy. You don't even have to try and you turn me on. I know you can do it. I know you are capable of doing this dance for me because I've seen you do it before. It's what we've been doing during all our practices. But if you don't want to, of course you don't have to. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to and I won't be angry. There's a million other things we can do instead."

"I want to," she said, her fingers finding the bottom of my shirt and tugging lightly on it, like she had been all day, "But is it alright if we just lay down for awhile and talk?"

"That is perfectly fine with me," I nodded, pressing a final kiss to her lips before leading her to my bed. I laid down on my back and she settled on top of me, her head resting on the pillow beside mine as our legs tangled together and she placed her hand on my chest.

I felt her eyes studying my face as her fingers picked at the fabric of my shirt and I whispered, "What would you like to talk about?"

She was quiet for a while before she whispered back, "Anything you want."

I tried to think about something non-sexual to talk about, but after awhile I decided that maybe if we talked about it and were more open about it, she would feel less nervous and self-conscious.

"What else turns you on, besides the audience thing," I asked, running my fingers up and down the length of her back.

"You," she smiled, without missing a beat, "Everything about you. You're so different than the person I thought you were and every time I learn something new about you I find myself even more attracted to you."

"I know what you mean," I agreed, turning my head so that I could stare back at her, while our noses now were less than half an inch apart, "But I meant, tell me about your fantasies and give me explicit details."

She smirked as I used her own words against her, then answered, "I thought you were going to tell me a fantasy that was just as embarrassing as my audience one."

"As I recall," I said, smartly, "I basically gave you a novel length response, while you've only given me a vague description. I need details."

"Honestly," she said softly, lifting her head off the pillow and propping it up with her hand as her expression turned serious and she watched me carefully, "and I'm not saying this because I think it's what you want to hear, but I'm willing to try anything and everything with you. I don't really know what turns me on, exactly, because I don't really know too much about sex, except for the normal stuff and the things I've seen on television. I just want to do everything and try everything with you and we can figure out together the things that we really like doing and the stuff that maybe doesn't turn out so well. I think figuring all that stuff out with you is the biggest fantasy."

"Everything," I asked skeptically.

"I think so," Rachel said with some uncertainty, "I trust you and I meant what I said before, I would never judge you or get scared away because of something you like. I also hope that anytime I may find something that I would like to experiment with, you would be open to trying it as well."

I thought about her fantasy of someone watching us while we had sex and had to admit that it wouldn't be the first time that I had done it. In the past, Santana and I had sex a few times with Puck watching and although it wasn't specifically a turn on for me, it wasn't horrible.

"I am," I said, after awhile, offering a smile as I combed my hand through her hair, "And if you really want to try this having sex with someone watching, I'll do it. Just as long as it isn't some creepy old stranger."

"Really," Rachel beamed, her eyes lighting up as I nodded, "I don't want to have sex with anyone else, I'm not looking for a threesome or anything like that, just-"

"Performing," I finished for her, "You get off on the attention."

"Yes," she said, playing with my shirt for a moment before saying, "I feel like you have a lot of things you think about doing and I want you to feel like you can be open with me."

"Maybe I just want to keep some mystery," I chuckled, "If I tell you all my fantasies in one night, there will be nothing to tell later on. Let's just try them one at a time."

"Fair enough," she agreed, with some reluctance, "but how about we make a deal?"

"Bargaining," I questioned with a teasing tone, then gazed up at the ceiling while I thought that over, "Alright, what are the terms?"

"Every time that we fulfill one of your fantasies, you have to reveal a new one," she answered with a smile, her fingers tracing a line down my chest, between my breasts, and down my stomach, stopping at the waistband of my jeans.

"Sounds reasonable," I nodded, smiling back at her, "But I want you to do some research and come to me with ideas too. I don't want to be the only one dictating how our sex life is going to be."

"You want me to watch porn," Rachel asked, quirking an eyebrow.

I had been thinking more a long the lines of internet research, but porn movies would basically be the same thing anyway, "Sure. Make use of Google, watch some movies, then come back to me with things you want to try."

"Can we watch the movies together," she asked, her eyes focusing on my wall as her finger absently traced a line just above the hem of my jeans.

"Would that be something that would turn you on," I asked, a hint of amusement as I watched her blush slightly and her eyes began to shift between mine and the wall.

"Maybe," she whispered, "I've never watched a video of that sort before. It may be stimulating to watch one together."

Before I could respond, I felt my phone begin to vibrate in my pocket, exactly where Rachel's hip was covering, and she giggled while raising her eyebrows at me. She shifted so that she could dig her hand into my pocket and I watched her with amusement as she pulled out the phone and looked at the screen.

"It's your sister," she laughed, handing me the phone, and my amusement immediately vanished.

I silenced it without a second thought and dropped my phone on my night table while turning my attention back to her.

"You don't want to talk to her," Rachel asked curiously, glancing over at my phone.

"I can call her back later," I said, tightening my hold on her, "She probably just wants to tell me about the most recent frat party she went to and how many numbers she got. I'd rather give you my full attention while you're here."

Rachel smiled at my response, rewarding me with a brief kiss before resting her head back on her hand.

"Can I ask you something," Rachel said hesitantly after a short silence, her eyes falling to watch her hand tracing circles on my stomach.

"Course," I said, "You can ask me whatever you want."

"What happens if you get a motocross deal with this guy," she said softly, as if she was afraid of the answer, "What happens to us when I go to New York and you go to wherever it is you'll go to be a part of his team?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully, and I could feel her body slump at the response, "I would want to still stay together. I could come visit you on breaks and we could still talk on the phone everyday and have video chats. If you're serious about us, we could make it work."

"I am serious," she answered quickly, her eyes meeting mine to show her certainty, "I'm just worried because when I move to New York, I'm not going to leave. My future is there and I've always planned on spending the rest of my life there. But you don't know where you're going and it sounds like you'd always be moving from place to place. I can't be the girlfriend that follows you around going from event to event like some kind of groupie. I want to be with you, but realistically, I don't know how long I could stay in a relationship with you when I can only see you for a few weeks out of the year."

"You don't want me to do motocross," I sighed, thinking back to the conversation I had today with her dads.

"No, I do," she nodded, "I would never want to get in the way of your dreams, just like you would never get in the way of mine. If you ever quit motocross for me, I would feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. More than anything I want you to be able to do what you love. I'm just afraid that our dreams will force us to go our separate ways."

"We'd make it work, Rach," I repeated confidently, "You'll get breaks where you'll be able to come see me and I'll get breaks where I'll be able to go to New York. Don't get yourself worked up about this yet. We don't even know if I'm going to get on his team and even if I do get on it we don't really know what it's about. We have no idea where it would be based and where I would be training. If it follows the regular motocross season I would get months off that I could spend with you. Even if it doesn't, I promise that I would find a way to make it work."

"You sound so sure," Rachel commented, doubtfully.

"Because I am sure," I laughed, giving her a gentle shake, "If I can feel this strongly about you after only a few weeks, I can't imagine how much I'll love you by the time you're ready to move off to New York. I'll do whatever it takes to keep us together. Even if I have to spend every last dime I earn, paying for plane tickets every weekend, I'd do it. Happily."

"I-I wouldn't be able to leave Broadway for you," she admitted guiltily, her eyes never leaving some insignificant spot on my shirt, "I'm not trying to hurt you and I don't want you to think that I don't love you-"

"I would never ask you to leave Broadway," I interrupted, taking her hand that was still fidgeting on my stomach with my injured one, "It's not an either/or situation and it will never be. And you don't have to feel bad for saying that. Anyone who would ever make you choose between them and your dream is not someone who understands who you are, nor are they someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I keep telling you that you were born to be a star because I mean it. You were meant to sing on stage and share your talents with the world. I will never mind taking second place to that because that's one of the things that I love about you."

"I can't believe you're so understanding," she chuckled, "Finn would never-"

"You have to start realizing that I'm not Finn or Jesse or any of those other people," I interrupted again, "Like I've said before, I'm nothing like them. Finn never once treated you the way you should've been treated and no one could understand why you'd still be all over him. It was like you thought so bad about yourself that you actually believed it was alright for him to act like an ass to you. I mean, he actually broke up with you so he could go on a date with San and I, thinking he would get a threesome out of it, then when we ended up paying more attention to each other than to him, he instantly tried to get back with you. Then he-"

"Okay," Rachel said, covering my mouth with her hand, "I get it. I was foolish for thinking a relationship with him would work. I don't know what possessed me to believe he was the right person for me, or even that I could love someone who never showed me any respect, but it's not like you've never been in an unhealthy relationship. Take Santana for example."

"What about Santana," I asked, curiously, pulling her hand from my mouth.

"Come on," Rachel scoffed, "You can't honestly believe that was a good idea."

"Why not," I asked again, beginning to feel a little defensive, "The Santana you know isn't the real Santana."

"Oh I know the real Santana," Rachel said, bitterly, rolling her eyes, "She's cruel and selfish and you said so yourself that she could never really love you. She's not capable of it."

"That's not what I said," I corrected, my tone a little harsh, "I said that she couldn't love _me_. As in me specifically, because she was already in love with you."

Rachel's eyes shot up to mine, stunned, as if we never had a conversation about this earlier. Then after a few minutes of silence she rolled her eyes and said sourly, "I can assure you that whatever _feelings_ Santana may have for me, love is certainly not one of them."

The hard look she gave me before pushing away angrily and laying back on the bed beside me, told me that there was something she wasn't telling me. It was obvious something had happened between them that I didn't know about.

"What did she do to you," I asked, rolling onto my side and resting my head in my hand.

"You've seen what she has done to me," Rachel protested, folding her arms tightly across her chest, "She has bullied me everyday for the past three years. She calls me names and throws slushies at me."

"That can't be it though," I pressed, knowing there was more.

"That's not enough," she demanded, her eyes burning with fury when she finally looked at me again, "How about physically assaulting me in the hallway? Is that enough?"

"There's something else, though," I said, "Rachel, you have to tell me. Santana's my friend and if she did something to you that I don't know about-"

"Friend," Rachel repeated, almost screaming as she said the word, "I thought after what happened on Friday you weren't friends anymore. I remember you telling her that you would never be friends again."

"She's my best friend, Rach," I sighed, "We fight and then we make up. It's what we do. She wasn't herself on Friday and I think now that she's realized her feelings she's going to be a lot different. She's always going to be my best friend."

"How can you still be friends with her after everything that she did to me," Rachel yelled with such ferocity I actually shrunk back into the bed, "How many times do I have to keep reminding you that she assaulted me? You were there. You saw it happen. Even after that you can still be friends with her?"

"She wasn't herself," I tried to explain, "We all get a little crazy sometimes and do things we don't mean to do."

"Normal people don't physically attack others when they're upset," she spat, shaking her head as her hands balled into tight fists.

"I do," I said softly, causing her head to whip towards me, "Remember the cheerleader I punched in the face at the country club dinner? After she insulted you I got so angry that I punched her right in the nose."

Rachel was silent again, her eyes still blazing as she stared at me.

"Are you really going to tell me I can't be friends with Santana anymore," I asked, nervously, "I really think things are going to be different now. She's been suppressing her feelings for so long that it was inevitable that they would come out into the scene that unfolded in the hallway. If you knew what it was like to fight who you are for all these years and then watch your best friend go off with the girl you've been in love with all this time, I think you'd understand. If you knew her like I know her-"

"Stop saying 'love' like it's something she can actually feel," Rachel said, her words were spoken with so much hate in her voice it was worrying me, "I know the real Santana. You're the one who is being deceived."

After another minute of silence, she hastily pushed herself up and leapt over me, off the bed, "I think it's best if I leave."

I swiftly grabbed her wrist tightly, before she could move and held her firmly, "No. We need to talk about this. Obviously this is something that bothers you a lot and I know, Rach, I know that you're not telling me the whole story. Something is going on. I can't fix this if you won't tell me everything. Most of your reasoning for hating her are things that I did to you too and you were able to forgive me for it. So why can't you forgive Santana if she changes?"

Rachel stilled, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as her jaw clenched, "There are things she's done that I just can't forgive. I can't ever forgive."

"Did she," I paused, swallowing hard as my eyes swept over her body, "Has she forced herself on you or-"

"No," Rachel sighed, opening her eyes and looking down at me. The anger was gone, but she looked tired and defeated, "Nothing like that. The hallway was the first time she'd ever physically hurt me. She just- a long time ago she fooled me into trusting her, then used that trust to break me. I've been bullied all my life. I've always been different and people have always picked on me for it, but it never really hurt me. Those kids meant nothing to me and I couldn't really care less about their opinions, so their words were unpleasant, but never crippling. Santana was the first person who hurt me. The first person to show me how cruel the world could be. She gave me hope, made me believe I could trust her, then the second I finally let someone in and allowed myself to be vulnerable, she took advantage of me and hurt me in the most painful way imaginable. She was the first person to break my heart."

"You were in love with her," I breathed, my stomach in so many knots I thought I was going to throw up, and my hand fell limply from her wrist. I never imagined that. I never thought that Rachel had ever had feelings for Santana and hearing that she had was sickening. Suddenly those fears that she would ever leave me for Santana didn't seem too silly anymore and the panic building inside me was unbearable. Rachel's eyes shot up to mine as I said the words, but then quickly looked away with an expression that resembled guilt.

"She didn't break my heart in the romantic sense," Rachel mumbled, " I thought I had finally found a friend."

Even though she denied it, I still couldn't relax. I couldn't make myself believe that there was nothing more between them. Jealousy was such a new emotion for me and I still didn't know how to deal with it. It was a stupid feeling that made me want to cry and scream and punch holes in walls all at the same time. Maybe she was being honest and there really wasn't anything that had happened between them, but my mind just wouldn't accept it. Suddenly all I could think about were these images of Santana and Rachel having sex and I couldn't push them away. I knew that part wasn't true because it was obvious that Rachel had just lost her virginity to me last night. But my mind was running wild with all these crazy scenarios and no matter what I kept telling myself, they wouldn't go away.

"When was this," I whispered, my voice cracking as I stared down at my hands, clenching into tight fists that made the pain seer up and down my broken arm.

"The first week of freshman year," Rachel answered emotionless.

"The janitor's closet," I said, everything suddenly starting to make sense.

"Yes," Rachel admitted, sitting down beside me on the bed, "I-"

"Stop," I said firmly, but still whispering, "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Rachel didn't respond, staying quiet as she sat beside me on the edge of the bed pulling and twisting her fingers in her lap. I was feeling so many emotions right then, it was hard to differentiate one from the other. I knew I shouldn't be so upset over something that happened so long ago, especially since I had no idea what exactly had taken place, but the funny thing about emotions was that it was almost impossible to control them.

"Are you mad at me," Rachel asked with a shaky voice and I could see the fear in her eyes as she looked up at me.

I sighed, calming myself down because I knew that for Rachel's and also our relationship's sake, I needed to bury whatever I was feeling now and not let myself take it out on her. I threw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her against me and pressing a kiss to her temple, "For what, Rach? You haven't done anything wrong. I'm just tired of fighting about Santana. Every time her name comes up we have an argument and I don't want her to be the reason we break apart."

"Me either," Rachel agreed, moving her hand to rest on the inside of my knee, "But you always stand up for her, despite all the bad things she does to not only me, but lots of other people and I'm wondering what she has to do for you to finally take a stand and say that you won't put up with it anymore? How far does she have to go?"

"Just one more chance, Rach," I pleaded, nuzzling my cheek against the top of her head, "If anything happens, anytime you so much as feel threatened, I'll end our friendship. I'm not asking you to be friends with her or even to like her, but just let her have one more chance before I have to end things."

Rachel was silent, watching her finger trace different patterns on my knee, before finally covering it with my hand and whispered, "One more. For you."

"Thank you," I sighed with relief and pressed another kiss to her forehead. She leaned into me for a moment longer then stood up from the bed, leaving my embrace. I panicked, worried she was heading for the door again and said, sadly, "Please don't go, Rach."

She turned around and looked down at me with a bit of surprise in her eyes and then shook her head, "Oh, no. I'm not leaving."

She smiled as she stood over me, her fingers stroking my cheeks as she leaned in and locked our lips together. Her hands moved from my cheeks to the back of my neck as mine held her hips and the kiss carried on for a few more seconds before she broke away, smiling down at me lazily.

"Where were you going then," I asked, enjoying the feel of her fingers playing with my hair.

"Well," Rachel said, combing my hair back with her fingers, "I thought I might change into something less comfortable. Like one of those silly red uniforms you enjoy so much."

"Really," I asked, surprised, "I thought our conversation would have killed the mood."

The sly, sexy smile that appeared across Rachel's lips seemed strange when she always looked so innocent, but it did a very good job of making my panties uncomfortable as she twined it with a slow and deliberate swipe of her tongue across her top lip.

"We just had a fight," she said, regaining some of the innocence to her eyes, but I knew it she was doing it purposely, "A pretty big fight, I think. Definitely the biggest we've had since our relationship turned sexual."

"Well, it's only been a day since our relationship turned sexual," I said, narrowing my eyes at her and trying to understand where she was going with this.

"Nevertheless," she continued, tracing my lips with her finger, "We had a fight and although my knowledge of sex is lacking, I have heard that make up sex is extremely fulfilling. I believe we should test out this theory. If you are willing of course."

"Rachel," I said firmly and with enough seriousness in my tone for her sexy act to falter slightly, "I could be dead asleep at three in the morning and I will still be willing. Now let's test that theory."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** Once again, sorry for the long wait, but I do have a real life and it is pretty busy. Plus this chapter was super hard to write since it's somewhere around 12,000 words of mostly smut. I feel like I should have some warnings since it's a little smuttier than usual so if you don't want to read smut with some anal, rimming and squirting, you should probably just skip this chapter. I'll try to not leave you hanging so long for the next chapter, but I make no promises.

As always, please R&R :)

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><p>I found my old Cheerios uniform from freshman year, in the back of my closet and although I knew it wouldn't be a perfect fit, it was at least a size smaller than the ones I currently wore. I was lucky I even had one left as we were required to return them when we either needed a new size or were leaving the squad, but I had sentimental feelings towards that one and so I had made up a story that my closet monster had eaten it. To my good fortune, Sue had taken an extra dose of her horse estrogen pills that day, was feeling especially emotional, and instead of punishing me gave me a very awkward hug and told me that if I needed to talk about it she was there for me. I did want to talk about it. So I spent an afternoon in her office retelling the epic tale of how I heroically fought the beast, armed with my expensive salon hairspray and lacrosse stick, but in the end traded my uniform for my life. She cried.<p>

The real reason I was hanging on to the uniform was because it was my first. It was the first uniform I was gifted with and I still remember how happy I was to feel like I belonged to something important for the first time in my life. I felt important. I felt exclusive. For the first time in my life, I actually liked myself.

The feeling didn't last long once I realized what it was like to be a Cheerio and all the bullying that was required with it. Still, sometimes I liked to pull back the clothes in my closet and stare at it for awhile; trace my finger over the lettering and brush my fingers through the pleats in the skirt. Sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I could almost taste that feeling again, before the bitterness returned and I pushed the clothes back in front of it.

Things were different now, though. I had Rachel and, with her, a whole new excitement for life.

Rachel had taken the uniform into my bathroom to change and after the door closed behind her, I picked up my blinking phone from my night table.

_1 New Voice Message_

My eyes got caught on the words for awhile, lost in thoughts of my sister and that whole other world that I kept trying to runaway from. I knew it wasn't right, that I was being selfish and cruel to ignore her, but the last time I saw her... it was scary.

She used to be my best friend when we were growing up, always so wild and adventurous with new games of make-believe to play everyday. When she was around, it was never boring. One day we would be running for our lives from giant hamsters and the next we would be warrior princesses, saving villages from mythological creatures. There were sword fights in the dining room, forts in the sand dunes and underwater worlds to explore in our backyard pool. The kind of childhood that every kid lives for. But as I got older and traded my warrior wardrobe for a cheerleading uniform, things between us changed. I started to understand the things my parents would say to each other, when they thought we were too young to comprehend.

I heard the toilet flush in the bathroom and realized my screen had gone black while I was lost in thought. I took a deep breath and called my voicemail, pressing my phone to my ear as I laid down on my bed, closing my eyes while I listened to her voice:

_I'm sorry to bother you again Beeney. I was just sitting here and thinking that maybe my message didn't get through or got deleted before you could hear it, or maybe I had called the wrong number. I think I remember hearing your name on the voicemail, but now I can't be sure, so if you did get my message and you're just too busy to answer, then I'm really sorry for bothering you again. I would really just like to hear your voice, though. Call me soon, Beeney. I promise things are good now. I'm not..._

The message ended there, whether it was because the time had run out or she had hung up, I couldn't be sure. I knew I would have to call her back, though. Not tonight. Not with Rachel here. I wasn't ready to talk to her about it yet. But maybe during my free spare tomorrow I would give her a call.

The jingling of the bathroom doorknob instantly captured all of my attention as I tossed my phone back onto the table and threw my legs over the edge of my bed, sitting up with my back as straight as a board. My hands gripped the mattress edges as the door opened slowly and Rachel moved to lean her side against the door frame, while extending her arm as far up it as she could reach, with her other hand on her hip. The uniform fit even better than I thought it would. The top was still a little loose around the bust and a little longer than we typically wore it, but the skirt fit perfectly, with the strips of material hanging just above mid-thigh and exposing tiny teases of her tanned legs beneath. Her hair was tied back in a tight ponytail with even her bangs slicked back and off her forehead and when my eyes had finally made their way down her long smooth legs, I found that her feet were bare with bright pink polish on her toes.

I had never been so entranced with someone before, so much so that I couldn't pull my eyes away, close my gaping mouth, blink, or even breathe. She just looked too perfect that I didn't want to do anything but sit there and just stare at her for the rest of my life. That sounded like a good life to me.

My eyes drifted back up her body, very slowly I should add, and when they reached her eyes I realized that they were rapidly darting around my room, anxiously looking at everything that wasn't me. Her teeth were biting so hard into her lip that the natural red had turned white around them and I could see the slightest tremble in her fingers.

She was trying so hard to be sexy, to stay in this pose and take on a personality that wasn't hers, and I was starting to worry she might break into tears.

"You look," I breathed, with a slow shake of my head as her eyes finally shot to mine once, then twice, then settled away again, "You look like... like... I don't know."

I couldn't think of a single word that was good enough to give my feelings justice, but I knew I had to find something and calm her nerves before she cracked.

"A goddess," I said, finally, then added with a shrug, "I mean, a cheerleading goddess. You look so perfect, I don't even know what to say."

Her teeth released her lip as she smiled shyly, glancing down at herself before asking in a meek voice, "I look okay?"

"No," I blurted out, my hands tightening into the mattress, "You're nowhere near okay and more in the ballpark of Jesus fucking Christ Rachel Barbra Berry, you could literally ask me to drink the cult kool-aid right now and I wouldn't even think twice about it."

She giggled softly, dropping her hand from the door frame and taking a single step into the room. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking in a big breath through her nose before letting it out through her mouth and I tried not to smirk as I watched her 'get into character'. After another few seconds went by, she opened her eyes slowly, locking them on mine with a completely different look in them. There was no trace of the anxiety and self doubt they had been filled with only a minute before, and instead they were dark, confident, and hungry. She kept her hard gaze as she played with one of the pieces of her skirt before slowly trailing the other teasing hand up her body. She started at her hip, running her fingertips over the waistband of her skirt before drifting a little higher, purposely catching her fingers on the hem of her top and pulling it up just enough to catch a quick glimpse of her tanned stomach, then letting it go and continuing up her path. They traced over the material covering her stomach, up to her ribs and creeping even further, between her breasts, over her collarbones and lightly scraping her nails against the front of her neck before moving to the side as she tilted her head. Her fingers wrapped around to the back of her neck, finally breaking eye contact as they slipped shut, her head fell back, and then she began dragging her hand back down with a firmer pressure.

I was so turned on I was already near begging for her to come closer to me. I remembered the rules of my fantasy and knew that she would be making sure I stuck by each one, so getting up and going to her wasn't going to work. But in my head, I was already slamming her back against the wall and pushing my hand into her spanks. My spanks. I was fully aware that once she actually touched me, this would be all over. In fact, I was a little worried that I wasn't even going to make it that long. Like I always said, thank god for multiple orgasms.

"Rach," I heard myself croak, and my voice was so choked and needy I didn't even recognize it.

She opened her eyes slowly, as if she was waking from a dream and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I need you," I said, in that same croak that I knew I was going to be stuck with for the rest of the night.

She smiled at the words, glancing towards my iPod sitting in its docking station, and she actually skipped towards it with her ponytail swishing behind her. She bent over as she scrolled through the playlists, and they way she did it was entirely purposeful, because I knew there was no reason for her to be bending that far over, but the view of her ass was fantastic as the pieces of the skirt fell to the sides, like a curtain around her tight spanks. They were a little too small on her, thanks to her wonderfully gifted ass, and the material stretched against her, outlining her perfectly shaped cheeks and lower, through the slight gap in between her thighs, I could see the soft shape of her mound.

Some sort of strange sound rumbled from my throat as my mouth went dry and I just stared at her obscenely, licking my lips as I used every ounce of strength I had to not jump her and start humping her ass. She turned her head back to look at me, a sly smile across her lips as she teased me further by moving her ass from side to side.

She bit her lip when she caught my eyes, maybe she hadn't known exactly how far gone I had already been, but thankfully decided to stop teasing and turned on the music. The dance beats that we had always practised to, filled the air and she stood back up, moving towards me to the beat, as her hips swayed in ways that I didn't even know she was capable of. She settled in front of me, between my spread legs, but not touching me, and continued to pop her hips to the beat of the music, thrashing her head from side to side as her hands roamed all over her body. They trailed upwards in unison as she ground her hips against nothing, and stopped over her breasts, first cupping them, then squeezing as she let out a low moan and dropped her head back.

I lost control at that point and before I could stop them, my hands were off the mattress and gripping her hips so hard, I thought they might bruise. She wasn't expecting it and the harsh grab startled her, snapping her head back up with her eyes wide as I gave her hips a hard tug towards me. She stumbled forward, her hands falling to my shoulders to keep her balance, but she regained her control when my hand began to move from her hip to between her legs, and she slapped them away.

"Nuh-uh," she warned with a pointed, stern, finger, "No touching."

I dropped my hands, reluctantly, back to the mattress and dug my fingers into it, painfully, as she turned around and used her hands on my knees to spread them even wider. She bent her knees, keeping her balance with the hands on my knees, and began to grind her ass directly against my centre. There may have been layers of clothes between us, but it didn't matter, we may as well have been naked. I was so close, just from watching her and the grinding alone, and didn't even have the strength to make an attempt at stopping the moans that were erupting from me.

"God, Rach," I whispered, which was now all I could manage, "I think... I think I'm gonna-"

And that's when she let out her own moan, high and desperate, like my words had just set off a new burst of arousal through her body. Her fingers tightened against my knees as she ground back even harder against me, pressing the length of her back to my chest with her head falling back against my shoulder.

My hips were moving against hers, raising off the bed to meet each movement perfectly and as much as I wanted to touch her, reach around her body and slide my hand into her spanks, I somehow managed to resist.

I pressed my lips to her neck, frantically kissing her until it all became too much and the sounds of her moans and soft gasps threw me over. I sunk my teeth down hard into her neck as my hips thrust against her one final time before I fell over the edge with a muffled scream.

Fireworks erupted behind my eyes, squeezed shut so tightly, and my inner muscles gripped at nothing as I came, flooding my panties and ruining yet another pair.

She sagged back against me as my hips slowed and my teeth released her neck, but her hips still continued to grind against me, though their pace had slowed.

"Wow," she gasped and I watched her tongue slide out to moisten her lips, wishing that tongue was in my mouth right then, "I didn't know I could make you orgasm just by doing this."

"Yeah," I breathed, still trying to catch my breath, "I didn't... I didn't know that either. But you're so sexy right now. I mean you're always sexy, but right now I-"

She pushed up to her feet, cutting my rambling as I feared that she was going to think we were done, but instead she turned around to face me. She cupped my face in her hands, tracing my lips with her thumbs before leaning in and kissing me so hard I had to push my body forward to stay sitting up. The kiss was wild and desperate, her fingers fisting my hair roughly and yanking my head back as she continued to bite and keep control. I felt a dip in the bed on one side of me, then the other, then felt the weight of her sitting on my lap. My legs were still open and her butt sagged low between them as she pressed our centres together.

She finally released my lips to let out a mix between a sharp gasp and a moan as she ground herself against me. The feeling must've been too much for her, because she had to bury her face in my neck while her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

"You feel so good," she mumbled against my neck, thrusting herself against me, "I'm sorry, this isn't quite how your fantasy was supposed to go."

I decided those words were enough to grant me the freedom to use my arms again, so I immediately grabbed her ass, squeezing it tight and opening my legs as far as I could, pressing her against me and guiding her movements. She moaned again against my neck, her fingernails digging deeply into my back, deep enough that they had to be drawing blood, and said, "This is far better than any fantasy I could have ever come up with."

"Britt," she said softly, in between short gasps of breath.

"Yeah," I asked, my fingertips pressing into her cheeks as I ground even harder against her, in complete disbelief that I was so close to coming again.

"Can we take off our clothes," she whispered, sucking hard on my neck before adding, "I want you to... I want to feel you inside me."

I was convinced. Without even answering I closed my legs enough so she could sit in my lap without having to be supported, then quickly found the zipper at the side of her top. While I was getting the zipper undone, she was already pulling my t-shirt over my head and my bra along with it, without even bothering to unhook it. As soon as they were over my head I had her top off, no bra underneath for me to fumble with, and while my hands immediately went to cup her bare breasts, she was working on my belt. Her fingers stumbled on the buckle as mine found her hard nipples and pinched and as I tugged on them her fingers tried to find something to hold onto and ended up scratching my abs.

"So close," she whined, her eyes finding mine and begging me, so I released her breasts and pushed one hand between us. I cupped her mound through the spanks, already soaked with her need, and rubbed the heel of my hand over her while her hips began to grind against me in erratic movements. I pulled the spanks to the side, finding no panties underneath and didn't hesitate to slide two fingers inside her slick folds.

"Mmmmppphhh," she moaned loudly, biting down hard on her lip as her forehead fell forwards against mine, "Please Brittany. Please. I need. Please."

She continued to ramble, nothing that really made sense, but also made perfect sense to me, and I slid my fingers forward, finding her swollen clit and making a futile effort to make some sort of rhythm to my strokes while her hips moved frantically against me. She was so wet. So wet that my fingers kept slipping from her clit with each movement and the need I had to taste her became to great to ignore. I used all my strength to lift her from my lap and tossed her back onto the bed beside me. The move startled her, but I didn't give her any time to wonder about it as I ripped the spanks from her body, pushed her knees up to her chest, then sunk down onto the floor in front of her. Not even a second later and my mouth was covering her, sucking hard at her swollen lips as she arched her back and screamed, "Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Don't stop."

I was definitely not planning on it. Instead, I pressed my hands to the insides of her thighs and pushed them open as far as she could go, before moving my tongue all the way down, below her entrance, and swirling it around her tight rear hole. Her body stiffened instantly, obviously not expecting me to touch her _there_ and especially not with my tongue, and her head shot up from the bed.

"Wha-What are you doing," she stuttered, but finished her sentence with a moan as my tongue teased the muscle again.

I stood up from the floor and crawled over her, resting my weight on my good hand, pressing into the bed beside her shoulder, and my knees between her spread legs. She had propped herself up, leaning back on her elbows, and I gently bit one of her collarbones before doing the same to her bottom lip.

"It's okay," I mumbled against her lips, gently brushing the knuckles on my injured arm, up and down her side. I pulled back so I could look her in the eyes as I assured her, "I promise I won't hurt you. If you don't want to, I'll stop."

She chewed nervously on her bottom lip and I could see her mind working as she thought it over. I dipped my head down towards her neck and began placing soft kisses along the curve, alternating every once in a while with a gentle bite or stroke of my tongue. While my mouth was busy distracting and relaxing her and all around attempting to coax her into submission, I lifted my hips and slid my casted arm between our bodies. Rachel had managed to undo the buckle on my belt earlier, which helped, but I still needed to unfasten my jeans. My fingers struggled with the button as I tried to keep my cast from scratching both of our bodies, but when it finally came loose, I was easily able to kick off my jeans and panties. Rachel was still wearing the Cheerios skirt, the only piece of clothing still on between the two of us, but I sort of liked it still on her, and it was pushed up around her waist and out of my way, anyhow.

I lowered my hips back down to hers, grinding against her as my lips continued their treatment on her neck, and after a couple minutes Rachel finally agreed, while clawing at my back.

"Go slow," she whispered, with her lips pressed against my ear, and I shivered from the sensation. I felt her fingers tremble slightly on my biceps as I pulled my lips from her neck and decided it would be best if I slowly worked myself back down.

I swiped my tongue across her lips before pressing mine to hers, locking our lips together in a languid kiss as I slowly ground my hips down against her centre. I could get forever lost in her kisses, the way her lips were so soft and warm against mine, sliding and melding together like both our lips were moulded to fit perfectly with the other's. Every kiss was different but the same. Sometimes they were hard and rough, with biting and tugging and sucking, as if we needed it as much as the air we breathed, and sometimes they were gentle and slow, lips barely moving as they brushed against each other and locked together. Right then, we were engaging in the gentle kisses. I liked to think of them as 'romantic kisses' because they reminded me of the kind you saw in movies of the love story genre, when the main couple was having slow vanilla sex and wrapped in each other's arms.

I liked both and all kinds just as much. As long as we were kissing, as long as we were touching, everything was perfect. The moment we were currently in, definitely called for prolonged kissing and caressing fingers. She needed to feel safe and relaxed before I moved further and that meant extended foreplay. Not that I minded. My mind was still reeling over the fact that she had given me the green light for anal sex. Not something very many girls agreed to and I'd been fantasizing about it since we'd first started our dance lessons. Maybe a few times before that over the years. How could I not? Rachel had the best ass out of all the girls at McKinley High and I always had a sort of thing for asses. I guess you could say it was my biggest fetish, giving or receiving I loved it all.

I spent a few more minutes just kissing her and rolling my hips to the beat of the dance music that was still playing before gradually working my way back down her body. I kissed down her chest, placing open mouthed kisses on her breasts and leaving dark hickeys before closing my lips around one of her nipples. I sucked hard on the peak, while my tongue flicked it inside my mouth, and her back arched off the bed, pushing her breast further into my mouth, as her hands gripped the back of my head and held me against her. I turned my gaze up to her face as I continued to stimulate her nipple, pinching and rolling the other to increase the sensation, and watching as her mouth dropped open and her eyes squeezed shut. Her hips were starting to lift off the bed, grinding against me as her breath came in sharp gasps.

I released her nipple with a 'pop' and licked a line to the other to give it the same treatment, shifting my weight to my cast as the fingers on my good arm played with the hardened bud my mouth had finished with. She let out a soft grunt as my teeth scraped against her and her fingers tightened in my hair, sending tingles all through my scalp. She had opened her eyes now and seemed to be getting off on watching me suck on her breasts, as she stared down at my mouth and began a series of quiet, short moans.

Her hips increased their pace, leaving the evidence of her arousal on my lower abdomen each time her hips lifted off the bed, and feeling of her juices being spread across my skin was doing wonders to my own arousal. It didn't take long before I was too aroused to continue playing with her breasts and needed to continue my descent towards her centre so I could taste her once again. I traced a sloppy line down her stomach with my tongue, sliding my body back as I moved, and gave her hip a quick bite as my feet found the floor again.

Her body stiffened after I had moved back down to kneel on the floor again and I dipped the tip of my tongue between her cheeks. I cupped her ass with my hands, using my thumbs to spread her wide, and traced my tongue around her puckered hole. I could feel her clenching tightly and knew she had to relax in order to take this further, so I let go of one of her cheeks, pressed my thumb to her clit and began to circle the highly sensitive bundle of nerves. Her legs trembled as I stroked her, but I could also feel her body gradually relaxing with each swipe of her clit and it wasn't long before my tongue was sliding partially into her tight hole without any pressure.

Her moans were growing louder and higher as I worked my tongue and thumb against her, and I paused my tongue's movement for a moment to ask, "Is this okay?"

"Mmmhmmm," she moaned with a nod, glancing down at me for a second before her eyes rolled back and closed again, whimpering softly as my tongue went back to her ass.

I pushed my tongue into her tight hole, as far as I could stretch it, and she curled her toes while fisting the blankets as I entered her. I pulled my tongue out, flicked the hole a few times, then pushed it back in again. Her hips were thrusting off the bed by the time I had decided she was ready for my fingers, and I slid my tongue up to her wet entrance, sucking out some of her juices before continuing further up to seal my lips around her clit. I stroked her clit with my tongue a few times then sucked on the hard bundle of nerves and gently pressed my finger to the tight ring.

"Wait," Rachel moaned, her hands moving from the sheets to dig her nails into her knees as she held them to her chest, "I don't know. I don't know, Brittany..."

I hesitated for a moment, watching her face, but she wasn't telling me to stop or giving me any signals with her body that she didn't want me to go further, so after a while I decided to continue. I did it slow, all the while sucking hard on her clit and playing with it inside my mouth with my tongue, and when she couldn't manage anymore words, I pushed my finger all the way in to my knuckle in one smooth movement.

She screamed, but it wasn't a pained scream and her fingers had found their way back into my hair, holding my head against her. Her hips pressed down against my finger and god she was tight. I could barely move my finger as she clenched and unclenched around me, trying desperately to relax but her body was so unused to the sensations. I gave her a moment, lazily lapping at her clit while keeping my finger still inside her until I knew she could handle more. When I felt her muscles begin to relax, I slowly began to slide my finger out and back in again, gradually increasing the pace as Rachel bit down hard on her lip and tightened her hold on my hair, pulling so hard I thought I might have some bald patches to worry about later.

I had never heard her moan so loud or so much before and it was the hottest thing I had ever heard. Her head had begun to toss from side to side against the blankets, her back arching and hips meeting each thrust I made and it didn't take long before I could feel her muscles fluttering inside her.

"Don't-don't stop," she groaned as I increased my pace until I was worried that I would actually hurt her if I thrusted any harder. Instead, I quickly spit on my middle finger, then gently paired it with my pointer as I pulled out, then pushed back in with two fingers.

She lost her ability to keep her knees against her chest, straightening her legs out until her feet landed on my shoulders and they stayed there for the rest of the time. That's when she started babbling. With my fingers sliding in and out of her ass and my mouth on her clit, strings of words began to tumble from her mouth. She said my name over and over again, along with random words and the tamest of expletives, that really weren't expletives in this day and age. A lot of "I can't"s, some "damn"s, a few "oh my god"s, and just once she made such a long "fffffff-" sound I thought she might actually say the full "F" word. She didn't, turning the sound into a loud moan, followed by a very sexy gasp instead.

She was just teetering on the edge, so close to perfect bliss that her whole body was trembling from the exertion, so I took two fingers from my unoccupied, injured, hand and thrust them into her entrance, curling them to hit just the right spot while I sucked her clit as hard as I could. With one last scream, I felt her walls shudder around my fingers as her orgasm hit, and it hit hard. I felt it before I saw it, the warm liquid that sprayed against my chin as I pulled my fingers from her entrance, and yanked my head away from her clit in confusion, just in time to catch Rachel squirting. I don't think she realized what was happening, too busy riding out her major orgasm as her hips bucked wildly, but the sight was entirely mesmerizing.

I had heard about the phenomenon before, but I really thought it was a myth. I had given and received multiple mind shattering orgasms in the few years since I started having sex, but not once had I, or any of my female partners, actually squirted. So when it happened, all I could do was stare as the liquid streamed from her, soaking my hand that still had fingers buried inside her ass and pooling on my bed beneath her.

I was even more surprised to find out just how much it turned me on. I hadn't seen anything, ever, that had turned me on more than that scene right there and I could feel a rush of new wetness dripping from me and coating the insides of my thighs. I thought I had known all my kinks, but since being with Rachel I had been adding new ones by the hour and this one just topped that list.

When her orgasm finally subsided and her hips dropped back down onto the bed, I slowly pulled my fingers from her and watched her shiver from the feeling. I gazed over her folds, literally dripping with her juices and before my brain could catch up with my actions, my tongue was already on her, tasting her as I cleaned up every last drop. It was a different taste than her usual, impossible to describe, but even more addictive, and I soon found myself plunging my fingers back inside her and tonguing her clit, just hoping I could taste her again.

I could hear her whimpers and protests, but they sounded so far away, like a television playing in the next room. I was too determined to stop, sliding a third finger into her tight entrance as my tongue drew alternating patterns on her clit. Her hips were already bucking hard against my mouth, her thighs squeezing around my head as her hand tightened in my hair again.

"Too much," Rachel whimpered in between gasps, and I knew she was back to that place of blissful delirium as she finally let the word slide, "Oh... oh... Brittany... don't... I... _ffffffffffffuck_."

And as the curse word left her lips, she came undone again. Both her hands fisting my hair, keeping my head in place with my mouth on her centre as she ground herself against me and I somehow managed to continue thrusting my fingers inside her. I was a little disappointed that she didn't squirt again, but when I felt her orgasm beginning to subside and a third suddenly hit her before she could even relax from the second, I may have taken a little bit of pride in that.

By the time her third exploded throughout her body, she was so worn out from the first two that she didn't even have the energy to ride it out herself. Her muscles gave out, causing her legs to drop limply over my shoulders while her hands fell from my head and onto the bed by her sides and her tired body just trembled and spasmed with each wave of electricity that shot through her.

For a long time after she didn't move or speak, just laid there heaving for each breath and I took pleasure in watching her from my perch on the ground. She had this glow that came over her after she orgasmed. The night before I thought it was just because it was her first time, but since it had happened in the car earlier that day, and then now in my bed, I discovered that it was just another special quality of Rachel's. And it was perfect. Just like every other part of her.

"So you ready to go again," I joked after at least five minutes of silence had passed, and I blew a puff of air against her centre to tease her further.

"I swear on Barbra, Brittany S. Pierce," Rachel shouted sternly, but still didn't have the energy to pick up her head and look down at me, "If you touch any of my private areas, I will break up with you right now."

"Sore," I asked, scrunching my nose at the thought of hurting her.

"_Sore_ doesn't even begin to cover it," she groaned and her legs twitched against my shoulders, as an aftershock rippled through her body, "Remember this morning when I was still _sore_ from last night? That was _sore_. But the worst part is that half of me is stinging so bad I want to sit in a bath of ice water, and the other half is in a place of utter euphoria. I don't know what you did to me, Brittany, and I'm sure that I will very much hate you in the morning and swear that you will never be able to touch me again, but right now you're lucky because the euphoric side is overpowering me."

"I'm sorry," I said honestly, gently kissing the inside of her knee before lifting each leg and gently resting her toes on the carpet.

"And could you please explain to me why I feel like I'm laying on a waterbed that has sprung a leak," she asked, using her toes to lift her hips off the bed and finally finding the strength to raise her head and glance down at the large wet spot under and around her butt.

"You had a really _really_ good orgasm," I grinned, smiling so wide my cheeks were already beginning to throb. I couldn't help but feel good about myself for accomplishing something that I had thought was impossible.

"What do you mean," she asked, raising an eyebrow at me in confusion.

"You know," I said, waiting for it to click in her head, but when her expression didn't change I remembered what Rachel had said earlier about her knowledge of sex and suddenly realized that it was entirely possible she had never heard of it before. I let out a soft sigh, because I didn't really want to have a sex education talk with her. Normally I'm fine talking about sex, but as soon as I start talking about the stuff that isn't vanilla, I start feeling awkward and blush a lot. But it looked like I would have to suck it up, because my girlfriend was starting to freak out about what she was laying in.

"You've never heard of squirting," I asked and got my answer when her brow furrowed, her mouth dropped open and one side of her top lip curled upwards, "Female ejaculation. I actually didn't think it was real, but you totally proved me wrong. So, sometimes, when a girl has like a totally amazing, earth shattering orgasm, she like, ejaculates and I guess you were somewhere around earth shattering, because when I was going down you and you were coming, you squirted all over me and the bed."

Rachel's face looked absolutely mortified as she quickly sat up on the bed and shuffled backwards, out of the wet spot.

"I'm so sorry," she gasped, her hand covering her mouth as she stared down at the spot, "I didn't mean to-I didn't even know- I'll buy you a new bed. I can't believe I... In your face?"

"Whoa Drama Queen," I laughed, tugging on her ankle playfully, "It's a good thing. And... well... I thought it was pretty... or a lot... like... a huge turn on."

I was blushing, probably beat red as she stared back at me and her expression finally began to relax as she said in a shaky voice, "Really?"

"Well, yeah," I shrugged, biting my lip, "I mean, it's not something that happens very often and I was able to get you there, coming so hard that you... squirted. And, I don't even know how to explain it, but it was so hot. Like, I'm there with my fingers inside you, filling you completely, and I'm sucking on your clit and all of a sudden you're squirting all over me and then I taste you and it's the best taste ever. And the sounds you made and the way you looked and god just everything, it was unbelievable. Then you came again and again and I-I... You're so beautiful. And I'm so turned on right now."

A smile slowly spread across her lips as I spoke and stumbled over all my words and I wasn't sure if she was smiling because of my stuttering or the words I was saying. Her smile faltered when her eyes fell back on the wet spot and she sighed, "But I ruined your bed."

"Rachel," I said, rolling my eyes and raising myself to stand beside the bed, "I don't give a shit about the bed. Besides, it's not ruined, it's just a little wet. So tonight we'll snuggle on the other side and tomorrow we will flip the mattress and change the sheets. It's not the end of the world. And even if the bed was ruined, I can afford to buy a new mattress. It was so worth it."

She bit down on her lip before sliding back to her original spot at the edge of the bed, although this time beside the wet spot, then dropped her feet back down to the floor and laid back on the bed. She smiled up at me lazily and said, "Well it was an exceptionally satisfying orgasm."

I crawled forward onto the bed, placing my hands on either side of her head and straddled her hips on my knees, hovering over her and ignoring the slight pain in my arm as I stared down at her beautiful face. Her long hair was tangled in all directions and her cheeks were still flush, but I could stare at her forever. She stared back at me for awhile, our eyes locked as we just stayed like that in silence, until she gave me a tired smile and reached her hand up to lightly stroke my cheek.

"I love you so much," she whispered as her hand curled around to the back of my head and pulled me down to her lips.

"You're just saying that because I gave you incredible orgasms," I smirked against her lips.

"No," she answered softly with a huge grin, "although that may be an extra bonus, it's not the deciding factor."

"So what is then," I asked, gently rubbing my nose against hers.

She shrugged as her blush reddened even further and she glanced away as she whispered, "You treat me like I'm special."

"You are special," I said, pushing myself back a bit so I could properly look her in the eyes.

She didn't have a response, just looked even more bashful than before and smiled shyly.

"You're about to love me very much too," she giggled, widening her eyes as she began to sit up, forcing me to straddle and sit on her lap.

"Orgasms," I asked with a chuckle.

"So many you're not even gonna be able to walk straight tomorrow," she laughed, resting her hands on the tops of my thighs, "It's time for me to take my revenge."

"Oh really," I joked back, settling down on her lap until my butt was resting on her thighs, "You really think you're that talented?"

"Talented is my middle name," Rachel said, with a challenge in her eyes, then rolled them as she corrected herself, "Well actually it's Barbra, but they're practically synonyms."

"Don't worry," I whispered, planting soft kisses against her cheek, "I'm pretty sure everyone in Lima knows your middle name is Barbra. Just like everyone knows you're talented."

"Not everyone, not yet," Rachel said with a glimmer in her eyes, "but one day. One day maybe the whole world will know."

"No," I said firmly, with a sure shake of my head, "Not maybe. Definitely."

"You too," Rachel smiled, her hands ghosting up my bare hips and tickling my stomach, "The super model slash motocross champion of the world, Brittany Pierce."

I shrugged, smiling as I rested my cast and forearm on the tops of Rachel's shoulders while lacing my fingers together at the back of her head, "Who knows what the future holds for me. I'm excited to find out, though."

"Me too," she said, but then her eyes drifted downwards to my breasts and she tilted her head to one side, "But right now I'm more interested in the present."

Before I could answer, she straightened her back, grabbed the back of my head and smashed our lips together in a hungry kiss. It caught me by surprise because I still wasn't used to Rachel taking control in sexual situations, but I was definitely liking this side of her. As much as I've always loved to top everyone I've slept with, no matter how much Santana denied it, for the first time I actually didn't mind Rachel taking control. Maybe it was because she was the first person I was ever truly comfortable with, but whatever the reason, it was sexy as hell.

Her other hand, the one not trapping my head against her lips, slid up my stomach to my right breast and gave it a rough squeeze forcing my hips to thrust against her from pure impulse. I could feel her lips curl into a smug smile as our kiss continued and she began to rub my already hard nipple. I gasped and tried to pull away from her lips, but her insistent hand at the back of my head was surprisingly strong and kept me firmly in place.

"Rach," I pleaded against her lips as her thumb and index fingers began to pinch my nipple.

"I want you to do something for me," she whispered with a low, sexy growl in her voice that I had no idea she was capable of. It also made me completely at her mercy. It didn't matter what she wanted me to do, I was ready to do it without question.

"Anything," I breathed the word more than spoke it, trying to stop my hips from rocking against her lap.

She released my nipple and slowly dragged her fingernails teasingly down my stomach, but stopped her descent just inches before the part of me that was craving her the most. I had to bite back a whimper as her hand stayed still.

"Since I couldn't complete your fantasy because of an early arrival problem that I had previously believed was only an issue the opposite sex had to deal with," Rachel said, her fingers drawing teasing circles so painfully near my folds I was having trouble concentrating, "I think it's only fair that you receive a punishment."

"Punishment," I repeated as the word grabbed my full attention. Images of Rachel in a black leather catsuit wielding a whip while I'm shackled to some sort of wooden dungeon contraption flooded my mind and I started to wonder what kind of movies and television shows she had gotten her sex ed from.

"Well it wasn't easy for me to put on that uniform and perform a dance for you and I was fully prepared to get down on my knees and satisfy you with my mouth if you hadn't put an end to it so quickly, even before I could really touch you," Rachel explained, managing to still sound so innocent while talking so dirty, "Since you ruined my plan, I think I should get the decision of what happens next."

"Sounds fair," I answered slowly, having trouble keeping up with Rachel while she was being so dominating, but entirely loving it, "So, what do you want to happen next?"

"Well," she whispered, pausing for a moment to gently kiss my chest, "I was trying to think of things I wanted to try and while we were in your closet finding your Cheerios uniform, I saw something that put some interesting thoughts in my head."

"You want me to wear something for you," I asked, rubbing at the back of her neck with my thumbs.

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes as if she was thinking over my words then finally replied, "In a way."

"I don't understand," I said, furrowing my brow as I tried to figure out what she was thinking.

She smiled, a strange and almost dark smile, then said, "Just lie back on the bed and wait for me."

I raised a curious eyebrow at her, but slid off her lap anyway, crawling to the head of my bed and leaning back against the pillows. She gave me one more glimpse of that strange smile before she actually skipped towards my closet and disappeared inside.

I tried to wonder what she could possibly be thinking, but before I could come up with a single idea, she was already out again, walking towards the bed with her hands behind her back and that smile still on her face.

"Do you trust me," she asked, head tilting to one side as she posed the question.

"Of course," I scoffed, "I trust you with everything."

She slowly removed her hands from behind her back, revealing a selection of ties that she had taken from my collection and I stared at them dangling from her fingers. My mind snapped back to those dungeon images and I found myself mumbling, "Does this involve a whip?"

Rachel gave me a puzzled look and shook her head, "No, I just... Well... I want-I want to tie you up. I want to be in control."

"Okay," I answered dumbly and a little nervous as I stared at the ties. I'd never been tied up before and I'd never given up control like that either. Even though Rachel had my full trust, I was still a bit uneasy about it. I didn't like the thought of not being able to move my limbs.

She watched me for another minute, eyes scanning my face and reading my emotions before she gave me a much more normal Rachel Berry smile and said, "It's okay if you don't feel comfortable, Brit. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to."

I swallowed thickly and shook away my nerves, "No, I want to."

She gave me a nod before setting the ties down on the bed, while keeping two in her hands, and walked over towards the foot of the bed. I felt her fingers delicately take one of my ankles, lifting it as she wrapped one end of the tie around it then tied the silky material in a tight knot and tying the other end to the bedpost. As she did the same to my other ankle I glanced down at the other ties she had placed on the bed and noticed there was an extra.

"Why do you have five ties," I asked as she was tying a knot to my good wrist.

"I was thinking," she said, her eyes staying focused on the knot she was now tying to the bedpost, "That I could tie one around your mouth."

"Oh," I said, staring at the tie and that nervousness that I had shaken away came back ten-fold.

"I know you've thought about it before," Rachel said, matter-of-factly, now working on tying the knot around my cast.

"What," I asked in confusion, because I could honestly say I had never thought about Rachel tying me to my bed and gagging me.

"Tying me to your bed," she answered, glancing at me sideways before dropping her eyes back to her working fingers, "I know you've fantasized about tying me up or putting handcuffs on me, so I thought I'd try it out on you first."

That I definitely had thought about, but how had she known that? Had I told her and just didn't remember? I had been telling her so many things it was hard to keep track, but I thought that was something I was keeping to myself for awhile.

She climbed onto the bed, straddling my hips while gripping the last tie in her hands, hesitating as she repeated, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to," I said again, watching as the tie got closer and closer to my lips until I found myself biting down on the material as Rachel wrapped it around my head and tied it tightly at the back. She sat back once it was tied and for awhile she just looked at me. Her eyes drifting over my body from head to toe as I tested out the restraints, tugging at them with my arms. I was definitely stuck there until Rachel untied me.

"I think I can appreciate the appeal now," Rachel commented, lightly trailing her fingers down my chest and between my breasts, "I didn't quite understand it before, but now that I have you bound and naked and helpless, it feels somewhat... empowering. You're completely at my mercy and I can do whatever I want to you and you wouldn't be able to do anything to stop me."

I started to panic a little inside and I guess it was noticeable in my eyes because she quickly added, "Of course I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to. I'm only saying that I could. I promise this will be very enjoyable."

She leaned forward, pressing her hands to the headboard on either side of my head, then further until her stomach and breasts were pressed against mine. She began to roll her hips against mine at an agonizingly slow pace, but I caught her wince a few times when her over-sensitive and sore clit rubbed against me. I was already pulling at my restraints, wanting so badly to wrap my arms around, grab her hips, or just touch her, but the restraints held and I was forced to just sit back and try to relax.

Her lips found my neck, starting with the faintest of kisses which quickly turned into sucking and then biting. She bit down extra hard in one spot, forcing a muffled yelp from behind my gag and Rachel pulled her head back with concern in her eyes, "Was that too hard?"

I tried to answer, already forgetting about the stupid tie in my mouth, then shook my head to signal a "no".

"Not too hard," she said, voicing my answer as her fingers massaged the spot she'd bitten, "Do you want it harder?"

I swallowed around the gag, closing my eyes as I nodded.

She brought her lips back down to my neck, but the hard bite I was preparing myself for turned out to be a series of soft kisses along the nap of my neck. I relaxed, lost in the sensation of her lips caressing my skin, and as soon as I had let my guard down, she bit down into my neck. She sucked hard on the spot as her teeth sunk further and further into my flesh, gradually increasing the pain and the pleasure at the same time. I found myself pulling on my restraints again with all my strength, ignoring the added pain of the material cutting into my wrist as I endured and enjoyed the sharp pain in my neck.

I was sure that she had broken the skin. She was biting so hard I was starting to see stars bursting in front of my eyes, but it was also sending thrilling shocks of arousal straight to my core. I couldn't see her hands move from the headboard, but I felt them on me. One on my side, tracing my ribs, while the other rested lightly on the other side of my neck and her teeth still buried deep in my neck. I was convinced she was trying to make an imprint of her teeth on me for life, but I certainly wasn't complaining.

I've always liked my sex a little on the rough side, for some reason adding a small amount of pain always made my orgasms so much better. I wasn't into anything too crazy, just some biting and scratching and hard thrusting that made me sit a little uncomfortably the next day, but Rachel seemed to have special talents that made me come harder than I ever had, even without the roughness that I usually needed.

But this was something else entirely.

She released my neck, soothing the sting with her tongue then leaned back and commented playfully, "You like it rough."

The gag prevented me from responding, but even if it wasn't there, I still wouldn't have responded. My little pain fetish was not something I liked to admit. It felt wrong that it turned me on so much. It wasn't something that normally turned a person on and I wasn't planning on telling her about it until we had become more comfortable in our sex life. I could tell she was reading the emotions on my face again as she suddenly shook her head, as if to stop my train of thought.

"It's okay," she said with an assuring smile, pressing her palms to my chest and twisting one of my blonde locks between her fingers, "I can appreciate that. Judging by my body's reaction to your less than gentle stimulation of my- well, of me- it appears that I have somewhat of an attraction to more aggressive sexual encounters as well. Maybe not every time or I may lose the ability to walk properly, permanently, however, it was quite arousing to have you be so assertive and I would definitely like to revisit that in the future."

I tried to speak, hoping she might be able to understand me even through the tie, but the words only came out as incoherent sounds. She stared down at the gag decisively then sighed and rolled her eyes as she pulled the material from my mouth and let it hang around my neck.

"That was no where near aggressive or assertive," I said, licking the drool from the corners of my mouth, "I haven't gotten to aggressive yet."

"Really," Rachel challenged with a smirk, "Then what would it be by your definition?"

"We'll get there," I said, "When we have no more secrets and know each other better than we even know ourselves."

"I thought you trusted me," she said softly, disappointment filling her voice.

"Rach," I chuckled, pulling on my restraints, "I let you tie me naked to my bed, believe me when I say I trust you. But our relationship has been moving pretty fast and we're still learning about each other. Sex is new to our relationship and we can't just jump into everything at once. One fantasy at a time, remember?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded with a blush, "We have been experiencing quite a few new things for one night."

"And how about we finish the ones we've started first," I said, raising my eyebrows hopefully and trying to ignore the throbbing between my legs, "It's kinda hard for me to just press pause when you're sitting on me all naked and I'm tied up."

"Do you like it," she asked, lowering her lips to my chest and pressing open mouthed kisses above my breasts.

"You sitting on me naked," I breathed, arching my back towards her as her mouth descended to the tops of my breasts.

"You being tied up," she replied with her mouth hovering over my right nipple.

I whimpered as her mouth covered my nipple and she sucked, trying to catch my breath as I answered, "I like touching you."

She tugged on my nipple with her teeth, forcing me to inhale sharply and drop my head back against the headboard. She let go, rolling it between her fingers instead, until my hips were lifting off the bed to grind against her, and said, "So you're not enjoying this?"

"I-I'm," I stuttered as her other hand began pinching my other nipple at the same time and my brain lost its focus, "What... I can't... What was the q-question?"

"I want to know," she whispered, pausing to lean in and give my earlobe a quick nip before pressing her lips to my ear, "if you are enjoying this?"

"Yes," I nodded, biting down hard on my lip as she marked the other side of my neck and my hips bucked up against her again. She shifted herself off my lap, sitting down on her knees between my open legs and shuffled forward until the backs of my thighs rested on the tops of hers. Her right hand left my breast, sliding down between our bodies and cupping my mound roughly as she bit down on my neck again.

"Oh fuck," I groaned as she rubbed the heel of her hand back and forth against my folds, shuddering as she dragged it against my swollen clit, "R-Ra... fuck me."

My body was shaking with need and anticipation as she slipped two fingers between my folds, circling my entrance once before pushing them inside. I whimpered as I stretched around her, the force of her thrust causing me to jerk so hard on my restraints that my right arm broke free. My arm impulsively wrapped around her, nails clawing into her back as she continued to drive her fingers inside me and my hips lifted on their own to meet each thrust.

I was only vaguely aware of the continuous strings of moans and expletives flowing from my mouth as she laid her body down on top of mine, pressing her centre to the back of the hand inside me so that they moved in unison with each roll of her hips. For a girl who had only lost her virginity the night before, Rachel was unbelievably good at knowing where to touch me and exactly how to move in order to turn me into a whimpering mess, and even though she played shy, she seemed to be having no trouble taking control.

Once she pushed a third finger inside me, it only took a few flicks of her thumb on my clit to make me toss my head back, arch my back and come hard around her fingers. I could feel every muscle in my body tense as electricity coursed through my nerves and my hand shot down to grip her ass, holding her against me as my hips rocked erratically, riding it out.

When I finally drifted back down to earth and was able to open my eyes, which I don't even remember closing, I found her staring down and watching me with her nose only an inch from mine. She smiled as my vision focused and said, "I think you've turned me into a sex addict."

"You ready to go again," I asked breathlessly, lessening my grip on her ass, but still keeping my hand there, "Cause just give me thirty seconds and I'll totally be up for giving you another round."

Her smile widened as she blushed and glanced away, "Maybe. But we have school in the morning and it's already quite late. However, I would like to revisit the idea of an all night sex marathon on a night when we are not required to be up early the next day."

"Can't wait," I smiled, then tugged at the restraint around my cast, "So you gonna leave me tied up all night?"

She narrowed her eyes at me with an evil smile, but then broke into a giggle as she pushed herself up on her knees and leaned over me to work the knot around my cast. My eyes drifted over her naked body in front of me, moving my hand from her backside to trace the curves of her body and her eyes flickered to me with amusement before they focused back on the knot. I liked that she was comfortable enough with me to move around while she was naked, without trying to cover herself while I stared. And it was impossible not to stare.

I watched my hand slide down her stomach nearing her centre again, but before I could get there, my injured arm fell freely onto the pillows below and she moved off the bed to untie my ankles. It didn't take long before both my ankles were free again and I waited for Rachel to settle onto her side, as she usually did, so that I could wrap my arm around her and go to sleep. She didn't take her usual spot, though. That night, she crawled back up the bed and laid down on top of me, pulling the blankets up just high enough to cover her ass as she rested her head on my chest.

"Can I sleep here tonight," she asked, her hand resting against my breast, "I mean, is this comfortable for you?"

"Very," I smiled, wrapping my good arm around her and drawing patterns across her back with my finger.

"I'm not squishing you, right," she whispered, timidly, "You're still able to breathe alright?"

"I'm fine," I chuckled, kissing the top of her head and closing my eyes.

The silence after my answer didn't last very long before she broke it, "It's just, I heard of this woman who was, I suppose, on the heavier side and she fell asleep on top of her boyfriend and ended up suffocating him to death. I just don't want to wake up in the morning and find you dead because you were crushed under my weight."

"You couldn't crush me under your weight even if you tried," I laughed, drawing a heart at the small of her back with the tip of my finger, "You're not heavy enough. Now stop worrying about crazy things and go to sleep."

The words finally silenced her and after several minutes past, I started to believe she had fallen asleep. However, that belief didn't last long when she whispered stubbornly, "If I sat on your face I would be heavy enough to suffocate you to death."

I grinned, so wide my cheeks hurt as I tried to hold in a giggle fit and said, "If I ever get some incurable horrible disease, please _please _promise me you'll kill me by sitting on my face."

"I will not," Rachel growled, lifting her head and giving me a stern frown, "Could you imagine the papers? 'Broadway Superstar Euthanizes Wife with Vagina'. No way. I would give you an overdose of propofol like how everyone else does it."

"Oh," I answered, slightly creeped out that Rachel had an answer for that right away (and just a bit sideswiped by the word 'wife'), but since it was Rachel and she was just strange like that I asked hopefully, "Well can you at least inject me with it during sex so I die happy?"

Rachel's face was so serious as she thought it over, furrowing her brow before answering, "It would depend on what the disease was. If it was contagious then certainly not! However, if it was something like a brain tumour, then I suppose I could give you one last moment of pleasure as you pass on."

I shook my head with a soft snort and pushed her head back down onto my chest as I said sarcastically, "Well I'm glad we had that conversation so we don't have to wonder about what to do if it comes up in the future."

"Me too," Rachel nodded against me, but she didn't sound like she was joking as I had been, "I mean, I would have to worry about my image of course, being such a huge superstar, the press would undoubtedly be all over your death. Oh and of course because you would be famous on your own for the motocross and that."

"It's okay," I said, giving her back a mocking pat, "We both know you would be the real star in the relationship."

"I'm so glad you can understand that," Rachel said, sounding genuinely relieved, "I really don't want to have to worry about you being jealous of my fame."

"That would never be an issue," I whispered, "Now, shut up and go to sleep before I gag you with the tie for the rest of the night."

She stayed quiet and for a long time I thought that she would stay silent for the rest of the night, but just as I started to drift I heard her mumble, "I would probably choke on that tie while sleeping and die."

"I'm getting a tie," I huffed, pretending I was trying to push myself up to go and get it, but she quickly shoved me back down on the bed with a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll be quiet now," she sighed, rolling her eyes with a pout.

"Don't worry," I said as she settled her head back on my chest, "We can continue our morbid conversation in the morning."

I felt her head shift slightly and I looked down to find her staring at the clock as she argued, "Technically, it is the morning."

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go get that tie."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Sorry, I've been in such a writing slump for so long. I know this chapter is really short, but I'm hoping that I will be able to update more frequently if I keep the chapters shorter. I don't know, it's a new theory.

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><p>I had a dream that night. I couldn't really remember any of it, but it left me with a feeling that will always stay with me. It's a hard feeling to describe, but I know everyone's felt it before. It's like this weird tingling throb all through your body, a kind of pulsing warning to tell you that something is wrong. Sort of like when you're about to throw up. Sometimes I still feel like I'm about to remember the dream, but when I try to focus on holding on to that thread of memory, it snaps and disappears before I can get anything out of it. It's probably best that I never remember it.<p>

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><p>The dream must've caused me to toss in my sleep because instead of waking up with Rachel sprawled out on top of me, like usual, my full weight was pinning her down. My head was on the pillow, forehead pressed to her temple and nose against her cheek, while the rest of my body laid on top of her. She was making the strangest noise somewhere between a muffled moan and a throaty clicking sound, and still drowsy from sleep, a panic broke over me that the story Rachel had told me, about the obese girl who suffocated her boyfriend was coming true. Of course I wasn't anywhere near obese, but I was so much taller than Rachel's tiny frame that sometimes I thought her to be more fragile than she was.<p>

I sprang up with a start, gasping loudly with wide fearful eyes as I sat back on my heels. My abrupt movement caused her to sit straight up in bed, eyes as wide as mine, while trying to speak. I stared back at her blankly, momentarily stunned by the sight of her, forgetting that I had knotted a tie around her mouth before we fell asleep, and began to laugh uncontrollably. She looked absolutely ridiculous. Obviously she had forgotten about it too, and when she tried to speak and nothing but mumbles came out, her eyes crossed as she tried to look down and see what the problem was.

I pulled the tie down from her mouth, letting it hang loosely around her neck and managed to contain my giggles as I said, "I thought I was squishing you to death."

"You weren't squishing me at all," Rachel said, laying back down and pulling me on top of her, "I like feeling you on top of me. It's warm and I like your weight on me."

I leaned down and kissed her, my hips moving against her on their own, and I glanced over at the clock to see how much time we had before we had to leave.

"How much," Rachel asked, a smile across her lips and eyebrow raised.

"How much what," I asked, deciding to play innocent.

"How much time to we have before we have to get up," she said, "I know that's what you were doing."

"I just wanted to make sure we weren't late," I said, giving her nose the gentlest of bites, making her wrinkle it and grin shyly.

"So you weren't thinking about anything naughty," she asked, skeptically, her hands teasing my bare hipbones.

"Maybe for just a second," I admitted, "but we should probably give your body a bit of a rest. I mean, last night was pretty-"

"Yeah," she said, biting her lip and running her fingers down my cheek, "It was definitely... I think I may be walking a little funny today."

I smirked a little before she wrapped her arms around my back and pulled me tight against her, until I had no choice but to rest my full weight on top of her. We laid like that for as long as we could, entirely content to do nothing but hold each other, as sappy as that sounds, before finally prying ourselves apart and getting ready for school.

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><p>Rachel did walk funny that day. I tried not to laugh as she worked so hard at keeping her movements normal, but they were anything but. I caught Finn's confused dopey face as we walked to our lockers before first period, and he said, "You got a charlie horse, Rach?"<p>

She blushed and it was adorable, but before she could come up with an excuse my alter-ego spoke up, "We had rough sex last night."

Finn's reaction to my abrupt statement was quite mixed. Somewhere between embarrassed, angry and jealous. All three sounded in his voice as he glared at her and spat out, "I thought you were waiting until you were 25?"

Rachel chuckled softly, pursing her lips as she gave me a sidelong glance, "I was waiting for someone who loved me unconditionally."

I smiled back at her, giving her hand a squeeze and swinging it lightly.

"I did love you," Finn argued and it was actually kind of nice to see him knocked off his high horse for once. Especially when the one who was dealing the blows was Rachel.

"You don't know what unconditionally means, do you," Rachel laughs, but before he can answer, she was tugging at my hand and continuing down the hallway.

For some reason my heart swelled, maybe it was because somewhere in there I still had a fear that she was harbouring feelings for him, but it prompted me to wrap my arms around her as she opened her locker and squeeze her tightly. I gave her ear a kiss and whispered, "I love you."

"We are such a good looking couple," she responded, and i laughed lightly as I caught our reflection in the mirror at the back of her locker. She was right.

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><p>Rachel had to meet up with her biology lab partner during our free period, so I took the opportunity to sneak out to my car and give my sister a call. There were horrible butterflies in my stomach the entire time I searched my address book and while it was ringing I found myself praying that there was no answer.<p>

"Northwest Ohio Psychiatric Hospital," a bubbly woman from the other end of the line greeted. The tone was sickening to me, but I supposed that if you didn't keep that frame of mind, you would get locked up along with the others.

"I would like to speak to a patient, please. Kaylee Pierce."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** I stopped watching Glee last season because it was terrible. So this story is obviously completely AU. I basically try to pull out as much as I can just for you guys, because of your awesome messages. Hope to write soon.

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><p>"One moment please, I will transfer you to the patient line," the secretary spoke too pleasant for the facility she was working for. It sounded blatantly fake.<p>

Before I could say 'thank you' she had already put me on hold where I was tormented with the hits of the 80s blasting through my phone. I suffered through three extremely long songs until a man answered the phone with a tone that just told me he was a patient.

"I would like to talk to Kaylee please," I asked, trying to still my quick beating heart. I was a bundle of nerves and pretty certain I was having an anxiety attack. I could feel my heart pulsing all through my body and the loud pounding in my ears. It was ridiculous to get so worked up over talking to a sibling over the phone, right? Well not my sister. We had so many good years together, but it just takes one moment for everything to change. And it did.

"Hello," my sister's voice sounded through the phone. It was calm and cheerful, the same voice she had when we were slaying dragons, and pretending our bikes were horses.

I let out a soft sigh of relief, because I could almost pretend that everything was okay. Kaylee really was just off at college and we were going to have session of girl talk where we let everything out.

"Hey Kay," I replied, my voice unintentionally soft and timid. I felt like I was trying to lull a bunny into coming towards me. But the girl on the other end of my phone was definitely not a bunny.

"Brittany," she asked, suspiciously and I couldn't blame her for being skeptical. I hadn't talked to her in months... or... well it had been a long time.

"It's me," I whispered, almost afraid that if I spoke any louder the normality of the conversation would shatter.

"Beany," she breathed, like a sigh of relief.

There was a long pause between us on the line before Kaylee said in a blunder of words, "I'm better now you know. No more episodes. They have me on this medication and it's working, Beany. It makes me feel good, it makes me feel normal. Whatever that is."

Her nervous laughter fills my ear and I tap my fingers on the driving wheel gently saying softly, "And how many times have you said that?"

"Please Beany, this time I'm not lying. I'm doing really well. I've been doin' all the things I'm suppose to be doin' like groups and shit."

"I heard," I nodded, licking my dry lips.

There was another long pause and then Kaylee interrupted it, "Mom and Dad are coming down this weekend for my birthday. You going to come?"

"I don't think that's a good idea with our past," I answered sadly, knowing it was just as painful to hear it as it was to say it.

"Okay, you're right," and I almost heard her nod from the other end of the line, "But please call me more often, I miss you.

"I miss you too," before I could say anything else I could see Rachel heading towards the car, "Look I gotta go Kay, but I promise I will keep calling you as long as you keep getting better."

"I will."

I pressed the end button on my phone before quickly shoving it into my pocket, as Rachel rounded a car and slid into the passenger seat.

"You are not going to believe what just happened," Rachel growled in a huff.

"What, what's wro-, ...who do I have to kill," I semi joked.

"SANTANA," Rachel screamed so loud I was sure the whole northern hemisphere heard her.

I stayed quiet, afraid that if I even spoke her anger would get thrown at me, and it may take Rachel a few minutes to get around to it, but in the end she found a point somewhere.

"She is so sneaky and manipulative and she just keeps worming her way into everyone's lives when- ARGH I don't even know," Rachel slammed back into the seat, arms folded across her chest, bottom

lip protruding.

There was a moment of silence, which I dared to whisper, "What happened?"

"She made herself my new lab partner," Rachel grumbled.

"I thought that short kid with the bad acne was your partner," I asked, confused.

"He was until he came down with Ebola or something, and then Santana just happened to step in," Rachel groaned throwing her arms into the air, "and become my partner."

_Ebola my ass. _Santana had planned this, her way to sneak in and steal Rachel from me. Impossible, Rachel is my girlfriend and there's no way she would fall for any of Santana's Latina charms.

_Right?_


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** Another short one, but bear with me as I find my muse again to write this story, I want to get to the end and not just abandon this story. I hope everyone enjoys and please **R/R** reviews make me want to write more. And thanks to all of you who have stuck around after all this time!

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><p>The week went by slow but uneventful. Rachel mostly slept at her own house, because her dads were starting to think that she spent too much time with me. Which was true, but at least we got a couple hours after school to make out. I don't know if it was because we were both exhausted from school or what, but it never went further then a stray touch here and and swift kiss there. Some days we would just quietly lie on my bed, my arm wrapped around her and pulling her until her back pressed against my front. We would lie like that for hours, just in complete peace. No worry in the world.<p>

Of course I have no idea what was going on in her head, but mine was filled with futures that now seemed attainable. My arm would get better and I would get a spot on the motocross team. I'd be amazing, on the cover of magazines, not just Motocross Magazine, but big time magazines like Cosmopolitan or Elle or Harper's Bazaar. All of them wanting to do a shoot with me because the talk of my fabulous talents was so widespread that everyone wanted a piece of me, even if they specialized in bikini models and the most famous actresses. I would be on the cover of Sports Illustrated wearing a fashionable bikini. I've never been self-conscious of my body. I don't know if I'd ever go as far as posing nude, unless it was extremely tasteful I guess.

Santana had weaselled her way into Rachel's life by being her lab partner. It angered me greatly that I wasn't in that class and couldn't monitor things, like punch Santana in the face whenever she touches Rachel no matter how "innocent" it was. I trusted Rachel, but our relationship was still a bit new and I didn't want her being swayed in the direction of a saucy latina who was using all her moves on. Rachel just seemed so innocent, looking beyond the things we did in bed, she was the little girl that helps the creepy man look for his dog in the back of his windowless van. Knowing Rachel her obsessive talking would drive the pervert to beg her to get out of the van.

I loved her obsessive talking. For a couple days, after school while we were spooning on my bed, she would just talk about everything that could possibly come into ones mind. She seemed to be an open book with me, offering her mind with no hesitation and although I mostly stayed silent, I gave her mine with the same certainty. People could call it doomed teen love, or a phase, or whatever they wanted, but I knew, I just knew, that Rachel was my forever. She made me yearn for the future, instead of fearing it and it didn't matter what school she got in to, I would follow her there without hesitation. Everything can work out, as long as you love the person enough to make it work.

She never brought up Santana being her lab partner and I didn't want to press the issue or mention it in any way. I didn't want to start any unnecessary fight. I trusted Rachel enough to tell me if something happened that she couldn't deal with on her own. Of course that did not mean my jealousy was flying through the roof. I just knew Santana was putting the moves on her, as many moves as she knew. I could just picture her arm lightly brushing Rachel's by "accident" and then the way Santana would bat her long eyelashes and laugh lightly with an "Ooopps, sorry" at the end of it all. She would look Rachel deep in her eyes and Rachel could easily be sucked in by those glowing brown orbs, like in a trance as long as Santana kept her eyes on Rachel's. I knew how it worked. She did it to me.

It was Friday afternoon when all that jealousy finally bubbled over top and before I knew it words were coming out of my mouth. We were laying in our usual positions on my bed, my arm holding her back against me. We decided that tonight we would spend the night together and I had to admit I was really missing her body against mine during the night.

But despite all the good things that were swirling around the room, my jealousy was through the roof and I just couldn't hold back any longer. I mean if Santana poisoned her lab partner just to get an in with Rachel, she would stop at nothing to get her.

"So how are things with Santana being your lab partner," I whispered, as I planted careful kisses along her neck.

"Fine I suppose," Rachel said, than as an afterthought, "actually she's been very nice. She hasn't called me any names or shoved me in any lockers or anything like that. She's just a normal lab partner."

"No touching or grazing of arms with a giggle attached," I asked dubiously.

Rachel thought for a moment then rolled over onto her back to face me, "You will never have anything to worry about."

She reached up to the back of my neck and pulled me down for a soft kiss.

"It will always be you Britt."


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** So again, sorry for the short chapter but it's moving the story along. There will be smut in the next chapter so it'll probably take longer to write.

As always please **R/R **reviews make me write more.**  
><strong>

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><p>We fell asleep for a couple hours, then raided the kitchen for some descent food. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did Rachel, so we both ate cold left overs of baked mac and cheese, and spaghetti. All dishes were vegetarian, maybe not vegan, but we'll work on that.<p>

"So it's Friday night," I said in between forkfuls of mac and cheese.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders as she slurped her spaghetti, "I guess it is. Thank god though, I'm so sick of the drama at school, it's so nice to just relax with you and not have to worry about any of those cares."

"Well what would you like to do on the infamous date night," I asked, quirking and eyebrow.

Rachel slumped and sighed, putting her fork down on her plate, "I really would rather just stay here with you. I just don't think I have the energy to go out anywhere."

She said it simply and there was a sense of exhaustion in her tone.

"Sure," I shrug back, "we can put in a couple of movies or someth-"

"No Britt," she interrupted shaking her head, "It's been a few days since we've been intimate and more than anything I would like to be intimate again with you."

"So you want to have sex all night," I laughed, I didn't mean to offend her, but she looked embarrassed for bringing it up, "No, Rachel, its cool, I would love to be _intimate_ with you all night."

"Do you want to play a game tonight," Rachel asked, her eyes dropping to her lap.

"Tonight, I think I want to play Brittany and Rachel," I smiled poking her nose from across the kitchen counter.

"Good, I mean what we've been doing is fun," she paused as her eyes met mine, "I think tonight I want to take things slow and romantic, with lots of cuddling."

She began to smile as she peeked a glance at me.

"There will be many nights to experiment with different things and get all our fantasies out, but to be completely honest, as long as you're with me, my fantasy is complete," I smiled, taking her hand in my good one.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh gawd you're so sappy."

"Because you love it," I replied softly, "And I love you."

Her sly smile turned into a grin, her shiny white teeth glowing in the dimly lit room. The sun had set a half an hour before and only one of the kitchen lights was on.

"I love you too," she said, biting her lip and with a shake of her head she changed the subject, "So where are your parents this time?"

I shrugged as I thought about it, "Let's see, Friday... Friday... Yeah, my mom is likely chugging wine with her club of wives at the country club, and my dad should be getting in from Thailand sometime in the middle of the night. I want to say 4am."

"You really don't see much of your parents do you," Rachel said sadly.

"Oh of course I do," I answered sarcastically, swatting a hand at her, "Every time there's a prestigious function where I'm supposed to look like a perfect daughter and everyone is suppose to forget that my parents even had another daughter. Sure there's talk, but no one knows what happened to the beautiful older sister who had so much potential she could've been the first female president one day. Whatever happened to that sister. This one that's left is awkward and dim, she couldn't sharpen a pencil. No she's nothing like that astonishing older sister who may as well have been royalty. She probably would have married royalty one day."

"Brittany," Rachel said slowly, reaching an arm out but not sure if she should touch me or not. Like I was a wild animal that she was trying to settle down to keep me from pouncing.

I went off, my eyes were flaming and my brain had retreated to that dark place on that dark day. I let a lot slip out that I never meant to, but it's hard to keep everything all bundled inside when I'm with her. I want to tell her everything I want her to tell me that everything will be okay and none of it was my fault. But it was a lie. It was all my fault.

I murdered my sister.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: **Yay! three posts in 2 days. I'm proud of myself. Be warned this chapter is a little bloody, but I don't think it's too bad. I hope everyone is enjoying the new chapters and thanks to all the people who have been reviewing and faving! You're all great! Keep doing it!

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><p>"Britt, are you okay? I'm worried," I heard Rachel's voice but it sounded so far away. I was so locked in my head about my sister about what happened. Everything that I had been trying to forget for so long was flooding back in my head and hitting me like bolts of lightening. Some part of me knew that my head was hugged gently to Rachel's chest, but the sensations were so dull, I was trapped. All I could think of was the day that I killed her. The day I murdered her.<p>

I'm not so nice. I like to think I am, but I'm not. God, that day was so clear in my head it may as well have been happening right now.

We were playing pretend games, I was eight, she was eleven, and it was fun. We were happy. The rest of the world didn't matter because we were in our own world. We used large wood chips as currency and drove our bikes everywhere like they were our horses. We would do seances by the lake and then speed off on our horses as if the spirits were chasing us, screaming bloody murder the whole way to the park. We must've looked insane.

But we were the Pierce sisters and we were infamous for our imaginations. We tried to let in a couple outsiders, but they never worked out. No, only the Pierce sisters could conquer the world.

So on that day it was like any other, sunny, not a cloud in the sky, and we were riding our horses to the Bridge of Four Columns. It really wasn't anything special, just a small pedestrian bridge that went over the community's lake. We stopped on the bridge, tied up our horses (or rather leaned our bikes against the brick wall of the bridge) and proceeded our newest make believe adventure. We were princesses, not sit in your castle princesses, but the kind that chased the wild rabbits and went fishing in the lake. Everything was perfect and we were having the most fun we had ever head, that was until we went to gather our horses.

"I want to ride Clover now," Kaylee demanded, Clover was my bike, but it was the newest of the two bikes and shone more than her mud-splashed one.

"No way, Clover is my horse," I snapped back, I moved to grab Clover, but Kaylee beat me to it. She held me back with an extended arm and flat palm, very effective against an eight year old. But, the second she was on my bike she had to let go of me to put her hand on the handle bars and then I was loose. I was so angry at her for stealing my bike I couldn't even think straight, all I remember seeing was blood red in front of my eyes and then without even calculating my decision, I attacked.

I used all my strength, even more than I thought I had, and shoved Kaylee off my bike. Her head snapped to the side and smashed against one of the four pillars of the bridge. It made a sickening sound, something like a wet towel slapping against brick. I watched in horror as her head slid down the pillar, leaving a large streak of red as she slipped down to the ground. Her head was at an odd angle against the pillar, neck tilted to the extreme as the rest of her body clumped around it.

I heard someone screaming, but even to this day I can't say for certain that it wasn't me. The skin on the right side of her skull was peeled back, and her face was already starting to swell. Her left arm had gotten twisted in the bike and was definitely broken since it was placed in such a way that no one could put their arm. I learned the rest of the damage later, but that picture of her, mangled in my bike, head beaten against the brick, it will never leave me. It will never not haunt my dreams. I never rode clover ever again, I made my parents throw it out.

She recovered over months in the hospital and physiotherapy appointments. She wasn't all there, though, and I'm not talking about the pinky toe that got sliced off in the spokes of the bike tire. Her brain had sustained such injury that she just couldn't be the Kaylee I knew ever again.

But I was newly nine and didn't understand that. I tried to get her to play with me, but all her games turned dark. One day she tied me to a chair, telling me that she was going to be the super hero swooping in to save me, but once I was tied up she changed. I could even see it in the expression on her face and especially her eyes. She pulled out a switchblade (from my father's collection) and held it to my face when she flicked the switch, the blade shooting out from the handle and startling me in my seat. She played with the blade across my face before tapping the flat end on my cheek and shaking her head, "Not on the face where they can see, where they can spoil our plans."

I told her I didn't want to play anymore, I screamed, but once again my parents were gone and there was nothing I could do.

"Don't be such a cry baby," she scoffed, "We're just playing, you're not going to get hurt."

She didn't hurt me that time, but I will never forget her eyes, the way they had changed, the way they weren't Kaylee's.

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><p>"Brittany, do I need to call 9-1-1," Rachel screamed and I was back and I could tell she was crying, "What's happening?"<p>

"I'm fine," I croaked my throat dry like the Sahara, "I guess I just zoned out."

"Zoned out," Rachel screamed louder, "Zoned out, Brittany! You were gone like not there for 17 minutes and 23 seconds! What happened?"

"I was thinking about my sister," I mumbled, I felt like I was coming out of a dream, like I wasn't quite fully awake yet.

"Your sister is in college," Rachel said, assuringly.

"No," I muttered, then my head started to clear and I had to decide whether to fess up to Rachel about my big secret or if I should just hold onto it. Some part of me decided for me and I just started talking without thinking, "Yea, yes, my sister is at college. I just, I don't know I'm confused."

"No, I'm confused, Britt," Rachel said and there were tears in her eyes, "Something about an accident and-"

"Don't," I interrupted her, untangling myself from Rachel and sitting up straight, "My sister is at college, there was never an accident, I must've been having some weird dream. Come on let's clean up all this food and get back to my room."

I forced a smile as I stood up from the ground, with no idea how I had gone from sitting on my chair, to the floor, but I didn't want to worry Rachel anymore, so I just pretended everything was fine.

But everything wasn't fine. Why was the past coming back to haunt me now. Now when I'm finally, finally happy.

I guess there's no such thing as true happiness. Or maybe a person only gets it for a couple seconds and I already had mine with Rachel. Now it was all downhill from there.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** Alright here's another chapter. I'm trying to keep updating as soon as I can, before my inspiration disappears. It's really hard writing this story though because it's so long and I haven't written some of the chapters in over a year or more. It's crazy. I'm doing my best though. Please R&R! Thanks

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><p>Once Rachel and I had returned to my room and I closed the door behind me I let out an audible sigh, as if I just locked out all the demons and bad memories. They were still there but I could pretend. Rachel turned around to look at me and she had these sad pitiful eyes as she chewed her lip and said, "I don't know what's haunting you, Brittany, but I promise I'll try to make everything ok for tonight."<p>

She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside before closing the distance and leaning up to me on her toes, kissing my lips with so much emotion and fervour that I had to fight hard to steal dominance. Tonight I needed to be on top, I needed to be in control with Rachel, and I told her that with my kiss. She backed off and let me bite and suck at her lips as my hands worked the clasp of her bra and slid it off her shoulders to the floor. I walked her backwards, toward my bed, our kiss never breaking, and even as the backs of legs hit the bed I gently lowered her, managing to keep our kiss going.

We parted for a second before I yanked her skirt from her hips with a fever and ripping off my own shirt and bra. She was quick to sit up and began to work the buttons on my jeans as she placed open mouth kisses on my toned stomach. It felt amazing, I worked my fingers through her hair, gently massaging her skull as her kisses went lower. I felt the button on my jeans give way and my zipper slide down and I could feel her kisses on my underwear.

"Rachel," I moaned forcing her head up to look at me. At first all I could do was stare down at her beautiful eyes, then I shook my head and whispered, "I love you more than anything."

She smiled placed a lighter kiss on my hips and said, "Me too, more than anything."

I shoved my pants and underwear down into a pile on the floor and she took off her own as she scrambled up to the top of the bed. I followed her crawling on my hands and knees, finally when I reached her I spread her knees and settled myself in between her legs. I began kissing her lips again, then moving down to her neck as my good hand drifted down between her legs and pushed two fingers inside her. She moaned loudly and it sounded a little pained, but right now I needed to do this how I need to do this. The emotions swirling inside me were mixed with a dark anger and hopelessness, and I needed Rachel to stay with me, I needed to feel her so I knew I wasn't alone.

I wasn't cowering in a corner with a knife pointed at me. I was safe with my beautiful girlfriend and everything was great.

I slid my fingers in and out of her methodically and soon her hips were attempting to follow my chaotic movements. I couldn't find a rhythm, thoughts of the accidents flashing so quickly in front of my eyes that I had to turn away from her and squeeze my eyes shut. It didn't help, the images were still there. Images of her crumpled body against the pillar, of her bruised, swollen and broken body in the hospital, watching her struggle just to stand up in physiotherapy. I couldn't stop the images. Rachel was slipping away from me and I tried to hold on tighter so that she wouldn't disappear.

"Brittany," I heard a far away yell and then there was warmth on my cheeks, "Open your eyes, look at me."

I opened my eyes and there was Rachel, staring back at me, worried, with both hands cupping my cheeks.

"Where do you keep going," she cried and tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

"Nowhere," I breathed, "I'm with you."

"No," she said, shaking her head sadly, "You're not with me. You're somewhere else."

I kissed her, hard, harder than we're use to, but I was still grasping at her. I was still afraid she was falling away from me. The kiss was rough, along with the pace of my fingers and before I knew it she was pushing my head away, arching her back, and crying out as she came on my fingers.

For awhile we just laid like that, staring at each other, breathing heavy. It seemed like ages, until I finally rolled off her and she curled up against my side.

"You will tell me one day, right," she whispered, after a long silence.

I kissed her softly on the forehead and pulled her closer to me.

How was I suppose to explain to Rachel what I had done. How was I suppose to undo the lie that I've been telling everyone for so long. Why was it suddenly eating me up more than it had in the past. It never crossed my mind before and now it was all I could think of.

Maybe because she was calling now. She was pleading. She was beckoning me back to her games of make believe. Like a moth to a flame, I was being drawn back in. My mind suddenly casting doubt over everything that happened. Wanting to believe that my sister was back.

But I had to remind myself, Kaylee was good at what she did. She was good at playing the right characters to bring you in towards her, closer and closer and zap.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** Another Chapter. A set up for a crazy weekend and more story on Brittany and her sister. Please R&R! Thanks!

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><p>The storm blew in before either of us could put up our guard.<p>

"Brittany, honey, have you seen the keys to the guest house," my mother said, opening the door as if it was never locked in the first place, and rattling both Rachel and I from our slumber. Rachel futilely slid under the blankets, hoping she was never spotted, and I lifted the sheets up to my chin to hide my naked body.

"They're on the dresser," I groaned, rubbing some sleep from my eyes, "What do you need them for?"

"I'm going to open it up for Alex and Stevey," my mother announced as she sorted through the things on my dresser until she found the keys, "Remember they're staying for the weekend and your father are going to visit your sister. I know you'll treat our guests with the utmost respect."

"Respect," I laughed and rolled over, my knees bumping into Rachel's chest as I moved, "How do you show respect to people who don't understand the meaning of the word. Last time Alex and Stevey were here, your entire wardrobe was placed in the pool while they played beer pong with the neighbours daughters."

"They've grown," my mother shrugged, "And you're here to make sure they don't get into any trouble."

"Great," I groaned, "Just kill me now."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Brittany," my mother sighed, "It won't be as bad as you think. Anyway, you're father and I will be leaving in an hour or so, we will tell Kaylee you said 'hello'."

"Whatever," I grumbled.

My mother almost floated her way to the door and just before she closed it she said, "Oh and good morning Rachel."

Rachel poked her head up from beneath the covers and said, "Good morning Mrs, Pierce."

The door shut behind my mother and then Rachel and I began giggling uncontrollably.

"Oh my god, she knows everything," Rachel gasped in horror, but managed to continue laughing after she said it.

"Who cares," I laughed, finding this the best time to instill a tickle attack on her. Her giggles were even louder as she tried to squirm and flail my hands away. There were even a few snorts. Somehow the tickle attack turned into me attacking Rachel's lips, sucking hard on her bottom lip and giving it a gentle bite before pulling back. She smiled a half sleepy smile that was the sexiest thing I had ever witnessed and wished for the rest of my life I could wake up next to Rachel.

"So who are Alex and Stevey," Rachel asked, her finger tracing my bottom lip as I rested on top of her, fitting so perfectly between her legs as I always did.

I rolled my eyes, "Only the most annoying cousins I've ever had."

"So why aren't you going to visit your sister with your parents," Rachel asked softly, her eyes falling to my chest, not wanting to meet my eyes.

"Because I have two annoying cousins to look after," I answered, smartly, "They may be 19 but that doesn't mean they're adults. Or smart even."

"Well I'll be there to help you out-"

"Oh Rach, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"They're very good at pulling pranks and tricks and I really don't want you getting caught up in it."

"You think I'm too gullible to be around them, I'll have you know-"

"Okay, fine, you can stay, but I've warned you."

She smiled at that then pulled me back down to her lips, gently sliding our lips against each other as we just enjoy being entwined with one another. In the brightness of the morning sunlight, I don't feel Rachel slipping away, I don't have those flashes before my eyes, it's just Rachel and I taking on the world.

"You haven't asked me, it's been making me a bit nervous," she said softly, almost shyly.

"Asked you," I questioned, trying to rack my brain as to what she could be thinking about.

"The dance," Rachel said, with a twang of annoyance, "The dance that is tomorrow night."

"Oh," I replied forgetting entirely about the dance, "I didn't think I'd have to ask."

"Well with everything going on with, well you know, Santana, and everything now with your cousins, I thought maybe you didn't want to go," Rachel said, but it was entirely evident she wanted to go.

I tried to work through how to leave my cousins alone while I went to the dance and not getting into a fist fight with Santana at the dance. It was a lot to think about. Even so, I knew that I had to take Rachel to the dance. I had to somehow block out everything that was going on in my life right now and go to the dance. It felt like too much, though. It felt like too much for one person to handle. But that was the life of a teenager, wasn't it?

"Rachel Berry, will you please go to the dance with me."

"I thought you'd never ask."

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><p>I took my usual nap in my American History class after lunch, well I don't think I was quite asleep but I was definitely dozing. Images of my sister once again filled my head.<p>

It was a sunny day playing an innocent game of tag until I realized that all the grown ups had gone inside and it was just Kaylee and me. All of a sudden there was a hard smack against my cheek and I heard her menacing giggle.

"You're it," she screamed, in a voice that could never have been hers and she took off running. At first I was completely stunned by the smack in the face, but then after that I was just angry. Angry that my sister thought she could hit me and get away with it.

I chased her all along the grassy side of the hill, dodging trees and darting over shrubs as I ran faster than I ever had before. I imagined I was a cheetah chasing my prey, leaping into tree tops, claws tearing into tree after tree as I sprang from one tree to the next, closing in on my gazelle. I felt like I was on a natural high and as if I was invincible. Suddenly my gazelle darted out onto the rocky shoreline of the lake, tracing the outer edge of the water.

_She won't dare to go in the water_, I said to myself as I tripped over a few rocks and regained my balance, _Mom and dad would kill her._

Suddenly, she stopped, her eyes turning back at me, as if she had read my thoughts and she stuck one foot into the lake. It was if she was testing me, and something in her face made me stop in place and not come any closer to her.

Her laughter filled the air once again as she ran full speed into the water, completely soaking her blue shorts and the bottom of her light blue t-shirt. She turned back towards me, eyes narrowing against mine, "Well aren't you gonna catch me."

"We're not suppose to go in the water," I reminded her, but that only made her laugh again.

"Don't be such a crybaby," she replied, but when she saw that I wasn't moving any closer towards her, her smile disappeared, "Don't make me come get you."

I glanced down at the water, lapping against the rocks in front of me. I didn't want to go in, but I was more afraid of what Kaylee would do if I didn't. Timidly, I put one foot into the water, feeling the water flood my sneaker and soak my sock, then came the second foot. I probably took a good ten minutes to get over towards her, but if I had known what she was going to do I would never have gone at all.

Once I was close enough, she grabbed my arm, twisted it around my back and then pushed my whole body down under the water. I tried to kick and use all my strength to get her hands off me. I just needed one little breath, that's it, if I could just get my head up high enough. I could feel my strength leaving me, a feeling of complete hopelessness and defeat settled over me and although my hands still pried at hers, I knew that only she could decide whether I lived or died. The thought was ridiculous.

Kaylee would never hurt me.

My sister would never kill me.

Not like I killed her.

You know that feeling when you're just lingering on consciousness and unconsciousness and you suddenly feel like you're falling and somehow you slam down against your bed as if you actually had been falling? That's what happened to me in history class. Suddenly, my body slammed down against my chair and with a scream cut short, as I remembered my surroundings, my teacher rolled her eyes and spoke as if it was part of her lesson plan, "And welcome back Brittany Pierce."


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N:** I feel like I'm on a roll... I don't know how long this writing spree is going to last but I'm going to use it all up to try to write more of this. This fic is fucking gigantic! I've never written so much ever, I'm just trying to work things out to steer it towards the end, but there are a few side trips we have to make before it gets finished. As always please Read and Review! Reviews fuel my passion to write better.

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><p>My cousins flew in like a hurricane, destroying everything in their path until they reached the guest house, with so much as a 'hello'.<p>

Rachel was thrown off guard, just staring at the door with her mouth hanging open, frozen in place.

"Rachel," I laughed, because if I didn't laugh I'd cry, "Meet my cousins."

I began following behind the disastrous duo and picked up a few artifacts that needed to be placed back on the shelves as I headed toward the guest house. Rachel was silent as she followed behind me and I had to wonder if she was changing her mind about sticking around with the duo here.

"So how's the caped crusaders," I asked as I opened the door to guest room. Alex was pulling his shirt over his head while Stevey had already stripped down to his swimming short.

"Capeless, I'm afraid," Alex said, after tossing his shirt aside.

I heard a quiet 'oh my god' from behind me and I turned around to find Rachel covering her eyes with her hands.

"Oh my god, do you think I would actually stay here if they were getting naked," I asked with a giggle, "Tradition. The second they get here they strip down to their swim shorts and then canon ball into the pool."

"Oh," Rachel said softly, but she was still using me as a shield. That was when Alex noticed her for the first time. And he ducked around me and with a swift head movement that would make Bieber proud, held out his hand towards her.

"Sup, pretty girl, I'm Alex," he said as if now that she knew his name and was offering her to touch his hand, she should be blessed now.

"Rachel," she said as she sucked in a deep breath, shaking his hand.

Alex and Stevey were twin brothers, both sun-kissed blond boys with shaggy cuts and deep tans. They were really a woman's dream if they dreamed of surfers from L.A. They were athletic with very nicely toned bodies and they really were surfers from L.A.

Unfortunately the duo were excellent at not following rules and getting everyone else into huge shit, while they looked like the innocents.

"Stevey," Stevey said from across the room holding up a hand as a half ass wave, "Alright bro, you ready? Last one in is creepy Kaylee."

I grit my teeth at that remark, I knew it was mean't to hurt me. I wouldn't let it.

"What does that mean?"

"With them, who knows?"

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><p>After their swim of course the brothers were starving. They popped a pizza in the oven that they had brought and after some uncomfortable talks about university cheerleaders and sex addicted book worms, I escaped to the bathroom.<p>

I hadn't been gone that long, but when I got back Rachel had already eaten a piece of pizza and I noticed my cousins were watching her with wide grins, so entranced by her that they weren't even eating their own pieces.

"What's going on," I asked sternly, as I took a seat next to Rachel on the couch. My cousins just laughed. That was when I looked at the pizza and looked how odd the mushrooms looked, "You guys didn't."

"Oh we so did," Alex laughed uncontrollably.

"Your girlfriend is gonna be flying high in a minute," Stevey laughed along with him.

"You fed my girlfriend shrooms," I screamed, what is wrong with you.

"Oh my god, Brittany," Rachel said and I turned towards her with alarm, "You're so full of color. Did you know you have rainbows following you?"

"Fuck," I screamed, the last thing I needed this weekend was to babysit Rachel and my cousins, but Rachel came first and since I was fairly certain she hadn't done any drugs, I knew she needed a babysitter for this one.

"Say that word again," Rachel sighed blissfully.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her as I repeated, "Fuck."

"That word is bursting with purple," Rachel said with a smile. Before I knew it Rachel was on her feet and running out of the house and into the backyard. I should also mention that my parents own a lot of land but most of the land at the back is just forest.

Rachel ran right into the forest screaming, "Everything is alive."

I tried to catch up to her but as soon as I reached the forest I couldn't even hear her anymore. No sticks breaking or bending or leaves crunching beneath bare feet.

"Rachel," I called making my way through the thick brush, branches scratching and cutting my body, but I hardly noticed. I had one thing on my mind. Rachel.

After several minutes of me panicking through the brush I finally heard Rachel's voice as if it was right beside me, "I never knew how many colors there were outside."

I turned all the way around looking for her with nothing. I looked up and there she was, sitting atop a tree. Her feet and legs were bloodied and scratched, probably looking a lot like mine.

"Babe I need you to come down," I said, doing my best to coax her down.

"This tree is very nice," Rachel said, rubbing her hand against it, "I might stay here forever."

"Come on, Rach, please," I begged, "Please come down."

"This tree and I have a connection, you wouldn't understand," Rachel said, sitting back against it.

"No, that's a tree, we have a connection."

"Oh Brittany, if you could only see the truth. I'm red and you're blue, we just can't be together."

"Okay, that's the shrooms talking Rachel, we will be together forever."

"Forever is an awfully long time."

I sat down under the tree, staring up at her, "Forever is a long time, but we'll make it. Till the end."

Rachel sighed, straddling the tree branch and leaning back against the trunk, "It's like I can see the future, all the colors swirling together and whispering the bumps along the way. So many bumps, swirling together, until... the end."

I laughed softly, "Oh my Rachel, you have no idea what you're talking about. You're high on shrooms."

"The moon is so big tonight," Rachel yammered on, ignoring my words, "I want the moon, it has rainbows around it, Brittany will you get me the moon."

"I would give you the universe if I could," I said, lying back in the leaves and staring up at my girl. With the moonlight lighting up her features she looked like an angel. And then she started speaking again.

"I have a secret," Rachel said so softly that I could barely hear her, "It's a very dark very black secret. No rainbows."

"You can always tell me anything," I answered, brushing my hands through the fallen leaves. I may not have been on shrooms, but it did feel good to just be out in nature at night, and staring up at girlfriend who is high as a kite is fun too.

"It's been bothering me for so long, sometimes its all I think about and it's scary," she said, slurring her words but not beyond recognition and I started to feel very uneasy about this conversation.

"You were right," she sighed throwing her arms up in the air, "I was in love with Santana-"

My heart sank and everything in my body stopped working. I was frozen just waiting for her to spill all the terrible news out.

"-for about 2 hours," Rachel finished with a soft laugh, "She was my first kiss, she was so beautiful, with fingers that outstretched mine. Maybe even after she betrayed me there was a part of me that still wanted her, wanting the girl in the closet to come back. You don't understand. The Santana you know is not the Santana I know. The girl in the closet who promised me refuge and safety for the rest of my high school years and just when I think life is finally going right she turns on me and for the rest of my high school days I had and have to be cautious of slushie facials, they are around every corner."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I guess she wasn't ready to accept her feelings, and unfortunately for her we already have and we're in love. We _are_ in love aren't we?"

"Of course," Rachel smiled so blissfully as she tilted her head back against the tree, "there will be bumps, but we are forever, even if it is an awfully long time."


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N:** Just because I'm that nice, here have another chapter :) It's much easier to continue writing shorter stories so that's how it's going to be. And please keep Reading and Reviewing! Thank you!

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><p>To say I was disoriented when I woke up the next morning, would be a huge understatement. The sun shone brightly in between the leaves and branches and blinded you if you moved your head a certain way. I was covered in dirt and blood and rough cuts all over my arms and legs. It looked like I had been whipped. But instead of finding Rachel up her tree she had a connection with, she was asleep with me. Her head rested on my chest with one arm and one leg possessively wrapped around me.<p>

It was nice, but still we were outside and this probably wasn't the best place to just lie around. I lightly shook Rachel and whispered her name and after a few seconds she lifted her head off my chest. There here leaves all tangled in her hair and I could only guess that it was the same for me as well.

"Ow," Rachel groaned, sleepily, "I slept on a rock... or five."

When she lifted her body up I could see the many scattered and jagged rocks that she had slept on and I knew there were quite a few under my body as well.

"Ew-yuck," Rachel said, sticking her tongue out, "My mouth tastes disgusting."

"Welcome to the morning after," I laughed lightly, slowly picking myself up off the ground, "Your tongue is brown too so if you think you're getting a kiss anytime soon you can kiss one of my cousins."

"Maybe I will," Rachel said defiantly, following me out of the forest.

I laughed out loud now at the thought of Rachel trying to carry out a relationship with either of my two cousins, "Good luck."

"Why are you being so mean," Rachel pouted, "I didn't know what kind of mushrooms were on the pizza, I expected it to be normal pizza and your cousins said it was vegetarian."

"I thought we went over this," I sighed as we had made our way out of the forest and by the pool, "Never, ever trust either of them. They don't know how to tell the truth."

I looked in the pool and saw my father's Lazy Boy chair, "Just fucking great."

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><p>I was terrified about leaving the duo at home unattended again, while Rachel and I were at the dance. They already proved that they hadn't grown up at all last night. I already had to call Finn and Puck over to get the damn chair out of the pool, at least they're always willing to help a girl in distress.<p>

I decided it might be best to bring the idiots to the dance, at least I could keep an eye on them.

I had to admit, I wasn't really feeling the dance. The flashing strobe lights reminded me of the lights of the emergency vehicles. I touched my neck instinctively.

"Come dance," Rachel bounced, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the dance floor.

I kept my eye on the boys while we were dancing. They succeeded in spiking the punch, but other than that they seemed to be staying out of trouble, chatting up the girls, no doubt asking if any of them are 18.

I caught sight of Santana coming in, wearing a tight, revealing red dress and I noticed Rachel's eyes linger just for a moment, before her attention was back on me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and grinded with me to the music. I chanced a look over at her again and noticed that both of my cousin's attention was diverted to her. They had known Santana for about as long as I did and they knew all about our past relationship. I'm pretty sure they were both disappointed that she wasn't interested in either of them.

I could see them talking from across the gym, but it was far too loud to have any inkling as to what they were talking about. I knew it wasn't any good as I caught them turning to look back at Rachel and me a few times and Santana had one of her 'I'm concocting a plan' smiles. I tried to ignore them, but then I was trying to keep my attention on them at the same time. If I didn't keep watch on the duo some kind of catastrophe would occur. It was inevitable.

Once their conversation was over Santana, began to walk towards the punch and that's when I noticed the boys were heading out the door.

"Hold on," I said to Rachel, and was running after the boys before she could answer back. I followed them out of the gym and into the hallway and caught sight of them near the back doors to the school.

"Hey Disastrous Duo," I yelled down the hall after them, but they didn't turn, they just continued out of the school. I ran after them and when I found them outside they already had a joint lit up and were sharing it between themselves.

"You're going to get me kicked out of school," I growled, not sure if I should just rip out of their hands and stomp on it or not.

"This school is lame," Stevey said with a shrug, as he in haled the mind altering smoke.

"Agreed," Alex nodded, taking the joint from his brother, "I can't find a single girl over 18. That's no fun."

"No, that's definitely jailbait," Stevey agreed with him.

"And we don't want to get into any trouble," Alex said and they both shook their heads innocently as if they didn't dump the easy chair into the pool the day before.

"Of course not," I said sarcastically, then ripped the joint from Alex's hand.

"Hey if you wanted some you just had to say so," Alex said, with a chuckle.

Unfortunately, I had the worst timing on the planet as just after I snatched the joint, Ms. Pillsbury decided to make her way through the back doors. I tried to hold the joint behind my back as she ascended the stairs to the doors and then gasped as she looked at me. Busted.

"Brittany," she gasped again, "Are you smoking?"

"No," I shook my head violently, I looked at the twins who were just standing there completely amused by the altercation.

"Let me see," she demanded holding out her hand.

I swallowed thickly, squeezing my eyes shut tightly before bringing my hand from around my back and gave her the joint.

"Is this-," Ms. Pillsbury said, looking down at the joint and then back up at me with wide eyes, "Brittany, you do drugs?"

She didn't wait for me to answer before she grabbed hold of my wrist and began dragging me inside. I could hear Alex laugh behind me, "Holy shit, our plan is working out even better than we expected."

I wanted to interrogate them, but Ms. Pillsbury had a good grip on my wrist and was dragging me to her office.

"I'm pretty sure this can be called unwanted touching," I mumbled as she pushed me into the seat across from her desk. She thumbed through some pamphlets before settling on one and giving it to me.

"So you're wacko for tobacco," I asked, reading the card out loud.

She shook her head and snatched it up, obviously handing me the wrong pamphlet. She threw another one down in front of me and this one would've been the right one, had I actually been smoking pot. This pamphlet read, _So you got caught, smoking pot_.

"Ms. Pillsbury, I wasn't-," she lifted a hand and shook her head.

I could tell that I wasn't getting out of the office any time soon.

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><p>When I finally was able to escape Ms. Pillsbury, having her believe that she had scared me out drugs by showing my the pictures of rotting teeth and black lungs and fatal car accidents, and with a few deep breaths I headed back to the gym. When I got in the crowded room I couldn't spot Rachel anywhere, I did, however, find my obnoxious cousins.<p>

"What is wrong with you guys," I screamed giving them both a hard punch to the shoulder.

"Every man for themselves," Alex replied and they both nodded, satisfied with that answer.

I bit my lip hard, so that I wouldn't beat them to death with my cast, and decided to switch topics, "Have you seen Rachel?"

"Of course," Stevey said and they both laughed, "Why do you think we dragged you outside?"

"What," I asked shaking my head and turning back to the crowd of people on the dance floor. All of a sudden it was as if the red sea was parting and in the middle I could see Rachel dancing and she wasn't alone.

She was dancing with Santana.


End file.
